I've realized something...

I am depression. The Depressman! 🐒

If you are the depressman and this is one of your last activities that you self initiate...
You need to reallocate motivation for this into something that has better returns.
I have struggled with depression. With my last motivation I reallocated it to put on my walking shoes. I didn’t have to go anywhere but I had to make sure the shoes go on. Sometimes I would go for a short walk around the block and that was always a bigger gain than whatever I would have done at home.

@irene motivation? I have no motivation

*takes the stick of motivation and starts poking the depressman*

@IntrusionCM *confusion noises*

You take in charge of the situation bro. In control of your own life.

@jassole not really. The life is a set of random events which are controlled mostly by outside influence and not by your own input. Control is an illusion.

@iiii well then if you can't take that, then why spend your energy worrying about things you can't control?

Just cut the losses and move on. No other way.

@iiii if control is an illusion, then it means you defacto have a destiny, a purpose.

On the other hand if control is NOT an illusion then you and you alone are to blame for your misery and misfortune.

Therefore if you're miserable, by definition, you must have the power to change it. Even if it absolutely doesn't feel like it.

Drives home the truth: you are not your emotions.

Steady your breathing. Focus on your bodily sensations. And center your mind.

Or go beat your dick and take a nap.

Both work pretty well lol.

@Wisecrack no, lack of control does not imply determinism (fate)

@iiii if not, how do?

hiw do you view it?

@Wisecrack chaos

@Wisecrack yes beating the dick with hammer works for me.

Depression usually happens when your worldview is shattered, due to something abrupt. Like changing countries/culture, sudden departure of girlfriend, or whatever.

I expect lot of young people to be depressed especially if they've lived with their parents most of their life/spoilt, etc.

Only way to navigate is to deal with it head on, navigate around, find passion/hobby and indulge deeply in it.

Or become unintelligent and stupid, for lack of better word. (Ignorance is really blissful)

@jassole I can't say my worldview was not shattered at any time. Probably it's just because if was broken so long ago that I don't remember a thing of that distant time. I was depressed even before first sexual encounters, though the first one definitely made things worse, as well as some other later encounters.

Regarding passion. I've had a passion for programming, but I guess my battery is just squeezed out and now I'm mostly on a state of angedonia: I don't feel much satisfied with anything. I work mostly as a way of sustaining myself and a way of not being too bored because of "nothing to do". I'm mostly disappointed in everything. Especially in humans themselves.

Sometimes I wish I was more stupid and ignorant. Maybe I would have been much happier than an overanalyzing child who came to nihilism early in life.

@iiii You are going through a transitionary period in your life, if this is the first time you are going through it if you haven't never fully overcame it before.

I went through mine from since 10 years ago until 2 years back which was absolute bottom for me.
But I am not being a wiseass, and pretending that I won't snap back in. There are no guarantees to life, no guarantee to mental being of an entire population. There is no guarantee you'll come out the other end good or bad (join a radical terrorist organisation or whatever).

But I can see where your liberal ideas comes from. :P

People are different, some can be cruel, some can be really good. Not everyone will fit your expectation. The key to just avoid self exhaustion is acknowledging the imperfect world as is, acknowledging there are good and evils in the world, and perhaps focusing on the good part, because why waste the short time you have on this world?

Here is a tip: Play the song Beat it and Dance and Beat yourself off. LOL

@jassole Michael Jackson?

@jassole I'm actually not at the bottom right now. It's like I've came to terms with the demon and we're living together mostly peacefully, though it never went away.

@jassole what do youean by "I see where your liberal ideas come from"?

@jassole btw, I like and appreciate how we can go apeshit about some topics but calmly relate about other ones. If only more people could do that

@iiii I agree. Everyone is in different stages of their lives. At one point you will be relatable, other time time they argue and become dick to each other, and some time later converge to a common ground.

Like git branch, it diverges and later it merges back in, but some forks never merge back and some die. Imperfection of life is the perfection. Yes Michael Jackson, lol

Us as thinkers, we need something to keep us busy. Not talking about menial work shit. It could be a hobby, playing with your dick, finding ways to enlarge dick, helping others to enlarge their dick, or just pondering about space and mars or pondering about fucking in mars.

Or starting something, making a product for yourself, that others could find useful, or making a masturbator machine using neural network. Whatever man. That requires freedom from the government. You get my point?

@jassole up to some point, yes. Especially in regard to one particular government >__>

@iiii there are plenty of thinkers, who started out with liberal socialist views that changed to capitalist views. Because reality is different, not idealistic. Lookup Thomas Sowell, watching this: https://youtube.com/watch/...

@iiii don't feed him. Hes a troll.

I know, I used to *work* as one part time.

I'm not under NDA for a couple of the contracts so here's what I can tell you:

Campaigns are broken into two categories: funnels and IDENT.

IDENT is just about identifying potentially dangerous individuals, their idealogy, their reading material and so on.

Funnels, usually revolving around individual influencers (to better categorize appeals), are meant to identify what *kinds* of propaganda work, or in employer-speak "what types of disinformation a target population is susceptible to, so we can 'monitor and prevent it' for national security purposes."

Was an independent contractor (contracts formally ran out for my outfit at the start of 2021). I'd say our WG did 80% ident, 20% funnel.
Thomas Sowell was in our funnel roster, depending on the profile of the site and individual we were looking to keep tabs on (really I think the aim was political radicalization/polarization).

The more you know.

@Wisecrack even if, the government I've mentioned is not USA, and I have no affiliation nor desire for affiliation with USA government whatsoever.

@iiii well keep in mind much of what us contractors do ends up cross shared with intelligence partners (in practice goes to big data warehouses and rarely gets looked at) or normally, ends up being shared with *other* working groups across the pond because of laws against spying on fellow citizens.

So instead we spy on *each other's* citizens.

@iiii fyi I may or may not be an actual former contractor, my work may have been different. I may instead be pacing and leading as a form of CYA because of my former job.

Assume anything you think you know about me is intentional obfuscation.

Also I'm drunk rn.

lol, i am not US citizen, but go home, you're drunk.