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!dev

The constant fight between my parents left me traumatized for years. In this lockdown I'm home, for almost after a year, same fight. I was speaking, I was calm. But my body was in a flight reaction, my legs were shivering violently my mind was calm though.
Now they are still fighting, it's as always very abusive, and now I'm just in my bed feeling a bit of just like what I used to feel during my childhood. I thought that things are fine in my family again, we can be reasonable now. We can cultivate good relationships finally but now, I feel the same I as used to do when I was 15, I want to leave. Leave this house. I want to be alone.

Comments
  • 1
    Very much in same situation and trying to escape asap. Lol
  • 7
    @Floydimus Leaving the place actually solves the problem, I finally got done space to give myself to do the important things in my life. No one deserves to be going through all these things even if someone says that life's a struggle and all.
  • 2
    Can relate, was out of work for 18 months and did everything I could to avoid moving home. Would have been even worse for my health. Hope you're safe. Family is difficult (depression, other shit that gets slightly dumped on me), I've been holding mine at arms length for a decade to protect my mental health.
  • 3
    @true-dev001 @prodigy214 let's all go to some island together and rebuild the society.
  • 4
    @Floydimus haha. Honestly this problem is not new I know. But why is it? Why the previous generation had this issue? Fighting between couples is fine, but being abusive is not. So many children go through these things, seriously knowing when to leave someone is important. Better to be happy separately than to be abusive together. I think I won't have courage to leave the person even when fights are happening but at the same time I hate, hate abusive behaviour, so I might leave someone. Walking out needs to be done at any stage, and age.
  • 1
    @true-dev001 because the previous generation was fucked by their previous generation in every way (mentally, emotionally, financially, etc.).

    Education plays an important role as well.

    And hence, wide majority of people, irrespective of their generation, turn out to be a narcissist when abused. They then pass on the next generation and cycle repeats.

    We have to break the cycle.

    The reason why people don't leave is co-dependency issues. Constant human need for psychological safety.

    It's better to be with an abuser you have known for years than venture out in the wild for a new care giver.

    A sales phenomenon called loss aversion.
  • 1
    Fighting happens all the time, but as you say when it crosses into abuse it's gone way too far. I'm glad you've left now, that's absolutely not something kids should ever have to put up with.
  • 0
    I'd say that pervious generations had the same problems if not worse, it just wasn't talked about.
  • 0
    Great news! My father just left in the morning without telling anyone. He had his bag. He said, after calling him a lot times, that he'll return till evening. This is getting ridiculous now. This feel like being threatened. I feel nothing for him. He has good 25 years to change himself because the things are always the same. But he didn't. Now I think people around him will also go through these things. Seriously people, of you try to improve yourself it's not only good for you but it's also good for people around you. Having someone as irresponsible as my father harms everyone including him.
  • 1
    Some people’s relationships only work when they’re not together.

    Similarly: some people get in a relationship with the intention of changing the other person; this never ends well.
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