The most interesting thing about the GDPR training that we do is that very little of it is about our rights as employees and almost all of it is to protect our employer. Funny that.

My favourite passtime is asking awkward questions I already know the answer to and seeing how long it takes the person to work out that they fucked up, that I know they fucked up and how monumentally they fucked up.

Incompetence. Incompetence everywhere.

Me in an email: "This information was not shared with you for your entertainment, and yet..."
Translation: fuck you, you incompetent bint.

First time I've spent £500 using Google Pay. Tiny bit disconcerting how easy it is. Must remember it's real money.

Dear employers, DO NOT FUCK WITH A PERSON'S DOCTORS. My doctors are paid to help me. If that means helping to sue your asses, they'll do it in a heart beat. Don't give them motivation.

My employer made dubious claims to my doctors in an occupational health referral. I've requested a copy of the referral. In the hopes I might not get a copy of the referral they've pushed this to my doctors as they don't want to give it to me. Because they've lied. Or they think I won't jump through the hoops to get access to MY OWN MEDICAL RECORDS.

If your manager is an asshole in unrecorded 1-on-1's, buy a dictaphone.

I think HR is the first role that could truly be replaced by an LLM.

Tech is getting lazier. I think it started with showing you countless ads for things you just bought and now it's not bothering to even give good music reccomendations.

We're the problem.

I think GDPR is a pain in the ass but my employer has lied to my doctors about my medical information so suddenly I really like GDPR.

To the housemate that wondered into the kitchen at 4am and turned the oven off at the perfect time for the chicken I'd forgotten about, thank you.

Signed,
Person eating not-burnt chicken

I need a polite way to ask someone if they're brain damaged.

Manager: Keep the debug logs
Me: I won't use them as I use the status report or run it manually to see the problem, but fine whatever.

1 week later

Manager: the debug logs are hard to read, the status report is hard to read too but it's a bit more concise
Me: Yes. The fuck you want me to do? I don't use logs and don't care. You can write code, make the logs more useful to you if you want to use them.

Running is good for sleep. I wish my lungs weren't fucked, but I ran anyway.

Ya know when you're working on a personal project, and you add a feature thinking it's a really good idea, then you don't touch the code for 6 months and it's still a good idea but you've got no idea what's broken and no idea what you need to do next?

So when we having an IRL meet? I think something was discussed a while ago.

If you don't test for it the bug doesn't exist.

"All due regards".

None. No regards are due. If you didn't work out I thought you lot were assholes from the body of the email, you're not going to work it out from the sign off, but still. You've got the social skills of a toothbrush.

I'd love to play poker with these people though. Can't bluff for shit.

Every year my work sends out a "mental health awareness week" email including some "useful resources" and the biggest problem for my mental health is those assholes.

I like coming up with novel passive agressive ways to say fuck you.

How can so many people be shit at their job, and all in one company?

Someone's going to be fired. Not me. When I joined my current company I was severely unwell. The survival rate for the state I was in was only slightly better than cancer (at 2 years less than 3 in 4 survive). I told work all of this. As far as I can tell they did nothing. As far as I can tell they didn't belive me. They've now got shitty about my performance and have actually asked for an independent review of my health. It is bad. It's significantly better than it was and it probably sounds worse than it is, but it is bad. They don't even know how much worse it was when I joined because they DIDN'T GET AN ASSESSMENT LIKE THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO. Someone is getting fired. HR hasn't responded to my emails since last Tuesday when they got the assessment. The only person that's said anything to me is my manager, he was in a bit of a grump last Wednesday (I don't think they'd told him yet) but he's being nice today, not a single word of criticism.

Someone is getting fired.

Manager: "add this"
Me: *adds the thing*

One week later:
Manager: "Remove this we don't want it anymore"
Me: Fuuuuuuuckkkkk

If I publish this I'll have to credit chatgpt.

Doing work disability paperwork. They've filled in paperwork saying they've provided all necessary and recommended equipment. I literally have paperwork of them declining to provide equipment recommended (and would have been paid for) by the government.

Fucking wild. Gonna be fun.

My company: "you don't have a choice what you work on"
My company on legal paperwork: "we've given them choice of what they work on to support and develop them as best as possible"

Both of those are verbatim quotes. I laughed. I mean, I now want to punch someone, but I laughed before the violence.

I feel like the social good of tech never really came to fruition. Like my local store can probably tell I have poorly managed ADHD from my irregular shopping schedule and caffeine/sugar addiction but all they use this info for is to try to sell me more salty peanuts.

The peanuts are tasty tho ngl

Pushed decrypted ansible vault to work repo. Time to cycle some s3 tokens.

Shithead manager.

Complaining that I'm a "senior" and he expects more from me (ignore that he's been making that complaint for 3 years and it's only been my job for less than 1)

Now complaining that I'm taking time to teach someone about something that they don't actually need to know.

I'm so fucking done with this job.

Wait, am I actually meant to read the code in your review? I just skimmed it and hoped it works. I also think you're an idiot so I accept these are conflicting positions to hold.