I just got a call from Satya. He informed me that Microsoft has successfully acquired the Linux kernel and all future development will be closed sourced.

Here's a sneak peek of the official announcement:

There will be a newer version released tomorrow that will include the Windows desktop environment as well as patch a critical 0-day security flaw that was recently discovered in all versions of Linux.

To prevent exploitation, we will activate a kill switch which will disable all systems running any flavor of Linux next week.

Thus we advise you upgrade ASAP, existing users can get the latest version online for $500.