Dear Atlassian Support,

In my life I had a lot of experiences...

But your software manages to replace all these experiences with a unique feeling of depression, hatred, anger... Only negative emotions.

Not once have I said anything good about your software - not once in > 5 years.

Whenever your chum bucket of mismanagement and misanthropy stops working, it's never the fault of the end user, the administrator or someone else.

It's entirely your fault.

Fucked up upgrades, lack of documentation, catastrophic handling of logging, lack of support of current database systems, lack of proper migration and clean up of plugins, ....

I could go on. But it's really just and endless tirade.

I wish I could stop management for even giving you money for the pile of poo you call software, but sadly they don't listen.

But there's hope on the horizon.

Thanks for making people go cloud only.

No one wants that.

It would mean entrusting that pile of poo to the craptastic hands of your irresponsible people.

No one really wants that.

Not even management who blindly paid the license fees all the times.

Thank you for your cloud only movement.

Maybe we can finally find an alternative and I can finally start a therapy for the PTSD I have thx to your software.

  • 2
    Yes. My company is debating the move to JIRA cloud for the last couple of years, while the onprem install slowly rots....

    Fuck it. Yellow stickies anyone?
  • 1
    I've got plenty of good things to say about them.
    Trello is a nice service they bought.
    Bitbucket is also a good service and had a pricing model that allowed our company to use in a non mono repo way.
  • 0
    This entire repo is dripping with so much quality it should become a copypasta.

    Saved and thank you.
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