So, basically i am getting desperate, and i'm also angry... and want to cry, and i feel a failure.
My biggest error in this story is "believing"

First of all, I'm a starting entrepreneur as freelancer, started of 6 months ago, back then it all seemed bright, i had my first customer, they believed me, got a second assignment for that same customer, fulfilled the task in brilliance, and was ready to move on to a bigger customer base. Here's where shit goes wrong.

Working with another office that outsources people to various (goverment) contractors, Had a meeting with them, we would cooperate very soon. This was january.

PM: "We've got a gov Dept as a customer that wants to do project XYZ and starting in february, requirements are yadiyadiyadi, you up for it?
Me:"Sure, send me the specs, and timeframe and i'll apply with my offer)"
Project is about a bit backup system migration, lots of fancy shmancy tech used, 2 datacenters setup... a big project that can take up several months...
- sends offer- received an acceptance on the offer

PM " Great, we'll start end of february"
Me: "Ok, end of february is a go then, looking forward to cooperate"

FF to near end of february, receive msg from PM: "Project XYZ delayed until half if march"
Me: "Okay... what is the delay?"
PM:"Govt bureaucracy"
Me " Ok, let's keep in touch"

Near Half of March
PM " Project delayed again".
Me: " Okay... what's the reason?"
PM: "they have decided to take a different approach, and want 3 datacenters now"
Me: "That will change the offer i made for you, can you send me the specs?"
PM: "No, because they havent decided on the techs used, expect end of march"
Me: "Okay...but once you got the specs,s end them to me"

End of March
Pm: " Hy NeatNerdPrime, we still havent got any specs yet... they still forgot to make the shopping list"
Me: "(-_-) ... I thought they already had that covered"
PM:" No, new Govt budget cuts and lots of changes, basically, they still don't know what they really want. But we're just -delayed- , not -cancelled-"
Me: "Okay... i hope we get started soon"
PM: "expect launch beginning of april"
I was not really satisfied with this explanation.... but ok

Beginning of april, at april's folls day
PM "Project delayed again"
Me: " This is a joke right?"
PM: "Sadly, no, they delayed the project since they don't really know what they actually want, we are trying to give them the proposed solution... but they still need approval, and still need to set up shopping list"
Me:"when do we start then?"
PM: " I was told 17th of april'
Me:" I really hope it gets through, i had to decline some proposals for work for months due to this, this ain't funny"
PM: "I know, i'll make up for it"

15th of april...
PM " Project delayed again"
Me right now almost losing my shit
"why this time??? I thought you said 17th of april real launch!"
PM: "they fired their PM, need to hire a new one, delayed until May/June"
Me: "I've set aside some other assignments just because you said you were going to launch at those dates... This is really pushing my limits, can you give me SOME assurances?"
PM: "5th of june would be official go" Me: " Okay, i'm noting 5th of june in my agenda, let's get this through!"

And now i get a message...stating that the date of 5th of june , is for another project, at the same goct dept, but totally different project

WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT I'VE SPENT MONTHS WAITING FOR A PROJECT THAT WAS PRACTICALLY ALL SET AND GO AND EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME IT GETS DELAYED, EVERY FUCKING TIME I THINK "you know, i cannot accept these offers since that Govt project will start soon, i cannot do 2 assignments at once especially when they require me to work at govt office at the capital..." AND EVERY FUCKING TIME IT GETS DELAYED!!!

I feel at a loss now..... i've done i think the most horrible thing you can do as a independent and that's not accepting another assignment just because there was a concrete promise for a govt contract...

Almost dried up, nothing much left, had to do some spending because of a move to another apartment... I'm feeling really down, and angry...and down, but mostly angry, for not accepting those offers in the meantime...

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    Wow what a sad story.. such a waste of your time and talent.. I wish I could help you in any way.. while I was reading your story I almost felt your pain and anger.. really good rant you deserve big ++
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    Governments are like that you know... They have no idea about half the things their doing.
    Don't let it push you down.. Learn the lesson and move on. Stick with small chains of commands. Govts and big conpanies have a long chain of command to go through to get things approved.
    Wish you all the best in your future assignments mate.. 😃
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    what did we learn, never work with the government 😥
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    Dude? You are such a fucking complainer.

    You are feeling a big failure cuz they are undecesive about their dates?

    Fuck off, ain't no other customer on earth? Why did wait a third time? If I were you, they are gone to hell.

    Knuckle the fuck up man!
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    I think this dude needs a stress all! Let's make it happen!
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    @jshrt gee thanks for your 'support'... It's not a matter of seeking more customers, it's about a promise of a big contract for big projects. We're not talking about a few end users but a whole goverment department. In terms of income it makes a fucking huge difference in balance and portfolio.
    And to add to your very encouraging words, i already have smaller customers and individuals to get some income on.
    Look at it this way: you just met you cute-as-fuck gf/bf (whatever your preference) and you want to get giggidy-giggidy with her/him... But evrytime there is an 'excuse' like 'my nails are broken', 'my great danish dog is at the vet', 'i have gained too much weight'... And so on.
    I hope one day the same thing happens to you, and when it does, you will remember this rant post right here. Have a fucking desperate day yourself good sir.

    @ everyone else. Thanks for the support guys... There is light at the end of the tunnel, faint, but it's there. Have a jolly good day you all
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    @NeatNerdPrime it was some tough love bro. My seemingly angry advice was meant to state your overreaction. There is not a single thing that should put you down you know? They are all challenges.

    Fuck the government, you are taking a different route.
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    @NeatNerdPrime oh did not read the part you wished me what you wished.

    Well, if such thing happens, I would definitely not rant about it let alone feeling overran by it.

    Looking at the way you reacted after criticism, tells me you really need to work on yourself bro. Not that I don't need to, but you seem to take things emotionally, not a good thing to have when in IT.

    My words were only tough love, And I am not sorry. Yet I want you to know I did not disrespect you a bit. You are worthy if respect for having underwent the whole journey, just be a fucking man about it.
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    @jshrt Well... thing is, in text you don't really read the initial intent, unless you're a very talented writer, which i'm not. That being said, I've interpreted your "tough love" as negative comment and I admit it triggered me a bit. For that, I am sorry and i apologize.

    But about emotions, it's absolutely okay to live and account your emotions as well. Not saying you must let your emotions lead your life and decisions (cause that's in almost every occasion the worst thing to do), but At the moment of my rant i felt emotionally drained and truly desperate.

    After that, I mann'ed up and today i have an appointment with some local metal music bands and recording studio's to work out their digital desires. I'm not just talking about websites, but entire infrastructure, like hardware recording studio, networking, hosting...
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    @jshrt Again i Apologize for my perhaps venomous comment towards you, to my defense, it's not easy to convey true intent in text form.especially us dev's and sysadmins who read things literally a lot!

    I wish i could retract my words and i reverse my wishes towards you, so have a jolly good day yourself as well :-)
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    @NeatNerdPrime hahaha I love your sarcasm bro.

    Keep it up, I don't think companies shine from gov contracts, go get you some of that shining!

    Wish you the best!
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    @jshrt and by extend at everyone else following this rant.

    HUZAAH HUZAAH HUZAAH! I got hired for the goverment contract! They apologised for the delay and they want me hired long-term, meaning several years even!

    So at the end there is light at the tunnel. I feel so relieved now!
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