Sometimes, after seeing all my friends with their girlfriends and boyfriends have their life, freedom, and happiness slowly sucked away from them, I have to wonder if it is even worth pursuing the opposite sex romantically at all. Especially since spending time on yourself will actually improve your life and make you happier. It’s just sad and feels lonely that no one can relate to me in real life about this.

A. You’re really young and have no idea how your life can change when you find someone you truly enjoy spending time with.

B. You’re really young and have bad examples in your life. Probably your parents.

Also, your view on how relationships work seem toxic. The part where you imply that people don’t spend time on themselves. That’s one of the things that kill relationships. It’s not healthy.

Anyways, I hope you’ll see my point one day.

P.S. I used to think the same as you. So I know where you’re coming from.

Having a partner is fun. Kids are terrible though.

Your friends seem to have had bad relationships. I have been married now for 20 years and are very happy.

I married late, in my thirtieth and we do spend time on our self.

But my advice is to not be to desperate to find one, if you force your self into a relationship just to placate society or family your more likely to end up in one that is not good.

You have friends?

For real tho, all my friends are married now. That's why I'm looking for new friends.

@yehaaw yes, there are so many bad examples I mostly can't find any healthy examples.

Unless you have a longing for someone specific, no reason to push it at all. It's a bother otherwise

I think you are confusing existential dread with relationship problems. I'll tell you that I know people who are completely happy with their partners but suffer through existential dread on the regular.

Get a relationship or don't get it, you cannot escape existential dread. Period.

@Nanos dating in another country and spreading your seeds!

I have seen good examples of relationships, and I know from my previous relationships that it can be great. However, I honestly think I have matured into not needing a relationship and I want to focus on things that improve me and help me go to the next level. Relationships take a ton of effort and take time away from things you ultimately want to do in life. I’m sure there are exceptional people though out there but the probabilities now of finding a decent person in this world are really slim lol. The friends I know who own businesses feel the same way and have noted that relationships have the potential to really hurt their growth and should mostly be avoided unless they can completely trust the other person romantically or platonically. Again, not blaming anyone with a relationship, that’s great and all, but based on the people who are attracted to me at my personal level right now, and the dates i have had so far, I really don’t think it’s worth it at all.

@Sid2006 I don’t think it’s existential dread because I feel great where I am at tbh. I just wish other people would see the truth about their life.

@yehaaw But you don’t see it from my perspective because you are guarding society’s and your personal relationship’s sanctity by accusing anyone who thinks alternatively as holding toxic views. This is why people who are in relationships are commonly perceived as arrogant and annoying from the views of single people.

@rantsauce I’ll be your friend

That was eye opening, @horus

Pun intended.

@horus I haven't thought about relationships as "mediocre" before. I was taught to romanticise any kind of non-toxic relationships as a great, comfy thing to have. This changes things, I hope...

@phat-lasagna @horus virtual hugs

@horus now how would you describe a "non-mediocre" relationship if you don't mind me asking? Have you seen non-mediocre relationships before?

@horus it's in your username

@Nanos you cannot be charged if you're not a resident and leave the country afterwards 🤷‍♂️

@phat-lasagna

I’m not accusing you of anything (though it seems that you are). There are mediocre, toxic, and other kinds of relationships people engage in. However, the relationship (as a concept) itself is not the problem.

@yehaaw that’s fair, I guess my point is that there divide now comparable to politics between single people and people in relationships

@phat-lasagna I think you're right for the most part. People just follow what they are told to do, but rarely think about it. Finding a good relationship is very hard, and in truth I find that most people force themselves to put up with shit they otherwise wouldn't. The dumb Disney or movie romance that people get fed is bullshit.

But again, if you find a partner that you can really get along with and whose path in life aligns with yours, it's great. Whether the time investment required for that is worth it is the question. In this game both men and women have to put up with different types of bullshit, and we got no one to blame but ourselves.

@Nanos that's why you should shoose poorer countries which regular citizens can't escape ;)