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i am seeing this weird pattern of people getting too much close to their work colleagues and i am unable to understand the why behind it .

so one of my homies is a kind of introvert but a smart genius IT guy who ended up with a rich paying job.

now, his job is mostly wfh and 1 day wfo, but he has engrossed himself in his company so much that i fail to understand why. like,
- he would go to his office for 3-5 days instead of 1
- he would plan trips/vacations with his colleagues and bosses
- he would go to different cities/countries to attend the meetings that are happening virtually too( basically a zoom call where some people are joining from office and some from home)
and so on. basically instead of spending time with his homies/family, he prefer spending time with work people.

another guy is doing somewhat similar . basically he runs a legal firm, and instead of having a strict boss employee relation with his interns, he would bring them to his home, celebrate birthdays/parties with them in clubs, and even bring them to our homie gang trips.
as of late ,those trips now don't even include us :'(

-----

i fail to understand why. my work culture is so shit, i just wanna complete a fucking year here and grab my bonus and leave. most of the team that i work with is in a different city, we are asked to work from office that is 40 km away from my home, other colleagues are practical snakes and i am not even interested to see their double-faced faces even during work hours, leave alone after-hours.

another guy among us is a tution teacher and this fella is taking coaching classes even on weekends. i don't know whats wtong with people of my age. we haven't crossed even 26 and we are all running some rat races.

i need some people in my life with whom i can spend some hours relaxing without worrying about my job or backstabbing

Comments
  • 2
    loneliness, i would guess
  • 7
    Nothing weird, almost all my friends are former work colleagues
  • 3
    They might not like their family that much, but Im just guessing.

    I remember when I tried getting closer to my colleagues, one of them backstabbed me and got me fired. The reason I was given was being late to the office by 5 minutes.

    Other colleagues dropped themselves into competition with me, because apparently back then this was the accepted culture. Someone leaves at 10 pm, so u should leave at 10:30 pm to make urself look better to the boss.

    I don't talk to any colleagues I worked with in the past.
  • 3
    Even a family can be a burden.

    Not saying they hate their family.

    Not saying they don't love their family.

    Pragmatic way of dealing with work / life / family balance?

    Make it a 2 way problem: life/work and family.

    I'm entirely against this by the way.

    Imho personal relationships should be close to forbidden at work.

    The "pragmatic" solution has a major drawback: Your entire life depends on the work going well. Why entire? Because getting fired or being depressed cause of work will inflict collateral damage to your family.

    When one part of the ship sinks, the other will sink, too.

    I've seen this happen as a manager / confidant more than I can count.
  • 2
    I get along with my coworkers so well, it’s great. We hang out sometimes. Played board games the other day too.
  • 2
    After a while who your friends are depends upon spending power, things of interest, things in common.

    You don't want to spend time trying to fix meet ups. Its easier if you have good co workers. Your timings match, you have things to discuss and that's how the world works.

    PS i don't do much workplace friendships myself. Just an observation from the world
  • 0
    get ur shit together and stop moaning and bitching.....
  • 0
    @ostream It is, I don't like moaners and bitchers. The change OP needs is an easy one.

    It's just a self-mindset change, and stopping to deflect the blame about his misery on to his co-workers regardless of how they are.
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