9
kiki
224d

I have a confession to make. I am indeed a team of entities. Yes! The only catch is all those entities live inside one brain.
My first and perhaps most important insight stemmed from not being able to overcome a persistent identity crisis. I spent seven years trying to figure out who I am and what my worldview is. I realized however that it was impossible. It makes no sense to be rational while your irrational part is hovering over, judging.

So, I split my “me” into two parts: rational and emotional. Usually, they coexist peacefully.

When presented with a complicated case, I let both speak. It doesn't matter if they contradict each other. The consensus is never reached, but at least both parts spoke their mind and are now calm.

There are two kikis. Rational kiki talks about life, insights, worldview, and occasionally tech. Emotional kiki sends leg pics and describes her wild dreams.

Also, it gets even more complex when derealization hits. Remember, autistic brains don't have garbage collectors, so as the day goes by, noise accumulates, influencing my entire being. In the morning, I'm cold and calculated, albeit a bit robotic. In the evening, I'm creative and talkative, albeit a bit unhinged.

You're welcome!

Comments
  • 0
    @kiki Have you ever taken a personality test, it seems you are an INPF.

    I can relate to the last line of yours, having wildly different moods/energy levels between the morning and night.
  • 2
    @coldfire attempting to get some dick pics out of kiki, lmao.
  • 1
    @coldfire I did a better thing — I took RAADS-R with my psychiatrist. This was a major part of my diagnostics. Myers-Briggs looks too much like a sciency horoscope for me.

    Also, it doesn't offer clear directions of how to improve once you get tested. Like okay, I'm INPF, so what? What should I do next? RAADS-R detects autism, and after that you can be prescribed. Proper depression scale tests do the same.

    Myers-Briggs can hardly handle neurotypical people. I don't think it can give useful results to a person with autism + ADHD + bipolar type I (that is the most severe one) + OCD + PTSD. I need meds, not words :D
  • 3
    Missed opportunity to call one of them bouba
  • 0
    @kiki Woah, that's quite the lineup of conditions! You must never run out of things to talk about at parties. 🤣🤣🤣 But quite seriously, i dont think even meds would help at this stage, you might need something more divine than that like living in a buddhist temple on the hills of nepal or something
  • 0
    @SidTheITGuy Naah, why would i want dick pics out of her !!! I am still trying to get over the horror of watching that third nipple on your face.
  • 3
    @coldfire they do! I take five prescriptions, and that combo works quite well
    Before that, I barely left bed
    Now I’m typing this while being outside and enjoying a tasty burger
    Cheers
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