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I want to know the name of the evil mastermind who once conceived the "literal" function in Sequelize.

- You design a method to insert pieces of raw SQL exactly the way they are written, no further processing
- You release this method, you call it LITERAL to make sure people know its intended purpose: it is used to insert LITERALLY everything you write, nothing more and nothing less
- Then make sure this "literal" method changes the fucking case of column names. Because that's what "literal" means in the head of this rabid animal: you arbitrarily change the code written by the developer

WHY
WHY ARE ALL AR ORM DESIGNED BY FUCKING ANIMALS
ELOQUENT IS TRASH, SEQUELIZE IS TRASH, TENS OF DEVELOPERS AT WORK TO ALCHEMICALLY CREATE THE MOST ROTTEN CODE THEY POSSIBLY CAN, BECAUSE YOU MUST NOT BE ALLOWED TO WRITE ANY QUERY MORE ADVANCED THAN "SELECT * FROM users WHERE id =1", NOT A FUCKING SHRED OF DOCUMENTATION AND 16 MILLION LAYERS OF ABSTRACTION TO MAKE SURE EVERY BUG FUCKING STAYS THERE, DON'T YOU DARE TO USE A JOIN, DON'T YOU DARE TO TREAT A DMBS LIKE AN ACTUAL FUCKING DBMS INSTEAD OF A HOT STEAMING PILE OF METHODS IMPLEMENTED BY MONKEYS.

Comments
  • 1
    Hello lost soul.
    Do you want to talk about our lord and savior no-sql?
  • 5
    @Lensflare oh yeah I'd love to fix a bug limited to a badly conceived ORM by entirely changing the underlying DBMS, that surely is the answer I was looking for
  • 0
    @IHateForALiving I feel your pain.

    I got the impression that you wanted to vent and not looking for a solution or answer.
  • 1
    @Lensflare I don't have anything against SQL (nor against NoSQL, they are tools with their own good sides and bad sides)

    I have A LOT against active record orms, which always end up being piles of complete garbage with obscure undocumented features to kind of make work some abomination which was never deserving to see the light to begin with.

    I just realized how to fix one of the issues I was facing (namely: why was an ID column being included), and I had to run the debugger in their fucking library to find out what was happening and why.
  • 0
    ORMs are the root of all 2020s development evil
  • 0
    The only suggestion I can offer is to use a case-insensitive collation in the database, but that could be just as unhelpful as changing the whole underlying DBMS if your architecture is structured to rely on case-sensitivity...
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