@Elyz Update that resume and CV and RUN to the next job you can find.

@Elyz Has management been made aware that this arrangement violates every principle of computer security at the most basic and profoundly obvious level?

"It's one of our fucking contractors that took one of our scripts (that they're supposed to have duplicate copies of) and forgot to change to their own credentials."

Please forgive me if I'm misunderstanding something here... but it sounds like you're saying that outside parties have access to scripts with hardcoded legit credentials in the scripts, and that these outside parties have access to these scripts in an internal production/testing environment rather than from a repository?

Evolution is just a theory in the same way that gravity, germ, atomic, and quantum theories are 'just' theories. All of them are theories, and if they're wrong then all of modern medicine and science is wrong and everything we use on a daily basis is actually powered by magic and witchcraft.

that really made my week

Whenever an investor 'has ideas' FUCKING RUN.

"Okay, great. But before I start working on that, we'll need to get back to you with the additional cost now that you've changed the project's visualization requirement from 2d to 3d."

"But! But! But! If we include a publication date, our content will appear to age, and that expensive SEO consultant we hired said something about 'evergreen' content getting ranked higher by Al Gorhythm.... whoever he is.... Google has such oddly named employees. And how does ONE person do all that work????"

The Blockchain of Beguilement -- when cast upon even the most mundane of objects, will increase perceived sale value to those of substandard intelligence, particulary effective against CEO-types.

Hot desking???

SO FUCKING DISGUSTING.

If you received that email unsolicited then you have no obligation to redact that idiot's name...

But is the data used to trigger the wipers processed and stored in compliance with GDPR directives?

I mean, like, who even uses "oh come on" ?? Ery1 noes tht 'kthxbai' means 'no.'

public boolean isCoworkerAnIdiot(boolean areSingletonsAlwaysBad){

return areSingletonsAlwaysBad;

}

WALK. OUT. THE. DOOR. NOW.

"I have other second interviews with companies that are offering me -- based upon my demonstrated skills -- more than minimum wage. If you would like me to come in for a second interview, you're going to need to make me a better offer."

If they don't make you a better offer -- and you'll need to figure out what that is (some multiple of minimum 1.5, 2, 3, whatever) -- decline the second interview and walk away and don't look back.

And don't tell them who the other companies are and don't tell them what the other offers are.

If you are young and are wondering about the possibility of someday going freelance or doing your own startup, go with #2 for the learning experience.

Otherwise go for #1.

From the looks of that chocolate you're going to need to remelt and temper it. OR...

turn it into delicious delicious FUDGE.

And here I thought the last digit of Pi was i...

It's ass-covering. Usually because someone high up the company's food chain isn't a programmer, let alone an actual human being:

"Wait -- that bugfix for that one specific bug didn't fix ALL bugs?!?!?! Who authorized this?!?!?!? All vacations are canceled!!!! No personal days!!!!! Heads will roll!!!!"

AHR: Always Have Receipts.

Did it start singing "Daisy Bell?"

**Shrieks in horror**

"First an OS! Now a cola!!!!! Will the oppressive terror of cultural appropriation NEVER END?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!"

@sudocode I see what you did there...

This is so awesome I'm posting it on twatbook just to fuck with people.

Well fucking done!

Be happy -- any person or employer that reacts negatively to you trying to improve yourself is best left behind.

The hardest pary of my job is trying to get the cat off the damned keyboard.

If you don't cringe when you look back at your old work, you haven't learned anything.

"But why on earth would I need to run a VCS on my own box? Isn't that sort of dumb and redundant? Why would I need local repos? The rev history feature of my IDE is more than...

...

...oh shit."