GitHub and SQL pickup lines.

When you succesfully debugged a code and you didn't even know how

Stackoverflow, the place in which those who search for Javascript will almost certainly leave with jQuery.

Boss: we follow scrum here
Me: yeah, tell that to those shitheads who call themselves "product managers" and throw whatever features they want at us at the middle of the sprint with a fixed deadline, not regarding the team capacity.

This...

Sometimes I think that Fuck, Shit & Cunt just don’t carry the weight needed anymore. Maybe I use them too much?...

Let's do a major refactor right before a release, what could possibly go wrong? (: