I have no choice but to come here, lest I cause irrecoverable offence at work.

It's 'Extract' not 'Extrapolate'!

It's 'Deprecated' not 'Depreciated'!

Colleague: I can't restore this backup file!
Me: What version of SQL Server are to restoring to?
C: 2016
M: Should be fine. How did you get the version?
C: * opens SQL Server Management Studio, clicks Help > About *

Colleagues who don't know the difference between Asynchronous and Parallel.

Colleagues saying 'depreciated' when they mean 'deprecated'.

People committing config files with connections strings pointing to their own machines.
Oh I'll just pull the latest changes... Why is all my data suddenly different??!? Fucking Gregg just checked in a connection string with "server=GREGGSPC".

Our scrum master calls himself a SCRUM Master.