Backend Java dev

Javascript guys only ever get on my tits when they say Java is a dying language. Other than that I have no beef.

To be fair... HIS java is definitely broken.

Start my own business. Sell shit to people I like, don't deal with people I don't like.

Either fake (but then everything on the internet is fake so idgaf) or the guy really really hated working there and did this just before moving somewhere else. Comma placement makes no sense otherwise.

I google stuff all the time. I mean honestly I use Lists.newArrayList(); so much that I forgot how to instantiate a basic array at one point.

Just keep a pile of cocaine on your desk and periodically slump into it for a refreshing and revitalizing pick me up.

Just joking. I have one double shot espresso in the morning and then decaf tea. Meditation honestly does more than coffee for me at this point. Clearing my mind and controlling my breathing can really make me focus like nothing else. Would recommend.

@Krokoklemme I work with a bunch of Americans as a consultant so I have had to be all diplomatic about that date format for a number of years. Your comment brought me a laughter that jiggled my fat little tits. Thank you kind sir.

I pronounceth this "Guuuaaeeeeeeffeeehhh".

I used to do this... back when I wasn't coding on teeny tiny monitors. Ahhh those were the days.

@mvalentin I agree, why pork other software engineers when you can code with them. That's a FAR more sensible proposition.

In time your company will be eaten alive by their own managerial ineptitude. This provides me some comfort.

In the meantime have an internet hug from me =/

A while back I worked with a client who had to provide us data from prod for a migration.

The kind of bugs they got could ONLY mean that they were coding not using a repo, but that they were coding directly into their production codeset and then using that to run their extracts, OR that they were doing the entire process manually and in a different way each time...

They were an Indian outsourcing company so chances were they had no code and it was the latter. Hundreds of Indian dudes performing manual SQL operations etc. Seriously, there's no other way that you get the kinds of regressions they got.

I think this would have a pretty wide appeal amongst the people who use this site.

That said realistically if you're in software, you might want to consider dating someone who isn't the same as you. If you're logical, analytical, pedantic and so on as a result of thinking in boolean logic all day you might benefit from dating someone who is the precise opposite. They can balance you out.

"This is a refactor, so should have no functional change. We don't need to test this in the app."

I get it, we're trying to save time to minimize the impact of our horrifically optimistic estimates, but these were our famous last words on more than one occasion.