How do I explain to my PM that I don't want to come into the office because I code better half naked surrounded by soda cans and several layers of cheeto dust

When you print out a fake window since it's the closest thing you have to the real outside

always happens.

Tells my non-programming friend that it's way more complex to program an A.I. that simply distinguishes a tree, than to make a program that adds up for like, a billion numbers...

SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE ME.

Dig it.

4 years ago I was placed on probation for not having the special format in source control check in comments. When I asked, the 'special format' was
clearly documented on page 18, sub-section 4, sub-paragraph 2, "All check in comments will include the solution name, separated by a colon,
and why the code was changed." My check-in comment was only missing the colon. Indecently, over 80% of the other comments consisted of 'adsf',
'bug fix', and several 'BOOM!'s. So I mistakenly said out loud 'This check-in policy appears only to exist to allow management to cherry pick
developers they do not like, find something wrong, and put them on probation.' That comment got on a 30-day ‘corrective action plan’ for openly disagreeing with a
company policy. Today, all those managers were either fired or quit and now I set policy. Dear Mr. ex-Bosses, I won.

Anyone else put in headphones with absolutely no intention of listening to anything, just to make people less likely to bother you?