only when something gets taken away from you, that's when you realize the true value for it.

I've finally put two and two together about my mother and why she acted the way she did with me my whole life.

Since four years old, she told me again and again that I will be a programmer and "earn as much as Bill Gates". Then, in fifth grade, without asking me, she made me take regular programming classes I was really bad at. Then, again without asking me, she sent me to an experimental, highly intensive CS learning program in my uni that accepted kids two years before they finish the high school to throw a metric ton of math, C and hardware design at them. After a year there, I completely lost the ability to enjoy videogames (at 15 years old). By the end of the program (four years), I started experiencing bipolar symptoms.

Then, at the age of 19, she insisted that I take the first draft order and join the army. The military service in russia is mandatory, and it's notorious for breaking people no worse than russian prison does. Knowing that I'm weird and autistic (I was stacking things as a kid), and knowing that the army _loves_ breaking weird people to keep them in line, she just wanted to break me. For context, draft orders are sent out en masse, and everybody dodges them with no repercussions. When they're 28, they just pay a small "fee" (a bribe) to get the military id. You can't be conscripted after you're 28.

I don't know my father. I have a stepdad though. My mother and my stepdad had a kid, nine years younger than me, and of course he was loved by my stepdad way more than I was.

I can recount a lot of instances where she was cruel to me, but oh how subtle and passive-aggressive she made it to be. Also, when I was bullied at school, she insisted on not changing schools, but rather for me to man up.

Her plan was to make a highly paid but mentally broken drone that would be a strong, steady stream of money while she enjoys a "proper" family with her husband and a "proper" child.

It's so unfortunate that the bastard kid turned out to be bipolar, and that bipolar disorder resets one's entire worldview from time to time, nullifying two decades of conditioning, isn't it?

Dear woman I crawled out of, I'm either wrong or right. If I'm wrong, and you did all this (and waaay more of cruel and fucked up shit) to me without any strategy in mind, because you wanted to, then congrats, you're a psychopath. If I'm right, and it was all a strategy, then you knew what you did was wrong, and every single time you did it took a bit of your soul away from you, because that's what evil does. Given that your scheme failed, was it worth it in the end?

God I hate vroomerz they make the outside too hot.

Your life is the reflection of your mind

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

devrant's certificate is no longer valid

guess the site is really dying.

I'm just gnna say it. Fuck you @dfox for abandoning us. And fuck you the russian cunt @vintprox acting as an admin when he's gone.

devrant cert expired

!rant https://www.imgopt.com/ (known as smush.it!) is the online image optimization tool of choice.

I came across it when reading one of my React books. I hope it proves useful to people.

I was cited in a decent-ish journal article.
Feels like a win.

My remote job just ended

Interviewer: What do you want to be doing in 5 years?
Me: Your Mom

I don't care, skeuomorphism like iOS 6 or window 7 aero was the peak of design and you can't convince me otherwise

Yo @Lensflare, JoyRant beta expired again. It says I should update my iOS to 17 to continue testing, but my phone only supports 16. What should I do?

Fuck, ate a huge deluxe cheeseburger from Red Robin and felt fine. Fast forward to this night and fucking tomato sauce makes me feel like I ate a bowling ball. Doubt it was the pasta

why don't I remember everything I ever did crystal clear forever?

Nightreign is crap. It tries to be a roguelike but doesn’t make you that much stronger each time you fail a mission. It takes the worst crap about souls games aka bullshit difficulty and makes you have to waste more time getting back to the boss rather than starting at a bonfire. I super regret having this shit stain of a game

spent the whole week working on a bug fix last week.

implemented a method to filter some data to make it easier to use in the HTML template.

friday's session with other programmers to review code went well, they said the method is pretty good and works nice. (I must admit there was an elusive bug that prevented the component to render and none of us could figure it out)

i get back on monday to a message from the lead saying the code is unusable and they reverted to the previous (convoluted) way of doing things and i should do the same in the future. just copy their work.

i check the typescript class. fucking method that was used (which he told me not to use and I should copy and work off of), he went and just changed the method's name, and the body is EXACTLY the same as his existing method.

this code base is ridden with re-used methods (I managed to extract two reused ones into a service some time ago), the use of any for 90% of method return types and variables...

WTF. I am losing all of my respect for seniors and faith in this company.

This is why I am burned out. You are farting against a hurricane and everyone else's shit is coming back onto you. This is fucking insane. Or am I insane?

People are whining because of the "heat wave".

Guess what idiots, you should have planned like I did. I habituated my body to the heat by going to the sauna three times a week for the last year.

You know, so I can survive global warming.

I use windows btw

The junior made some work on the frontend, and... well, it's genuinely good. Nice component, looks good, he used tailwind and the framework properly. It's easy stuff, but he pulled it off nicely and that's how you move from toy projects to complex stuff anyways. This is not a rant, that kid is growing nicely. Let's go.

How is it possible to be busy all day yet feel like time evaporated into a vacuum as if someone called delete(hours) but left not trace?

vibes ain't flyin' can't deadass sigma no cap lit ohio level 7900 fam, you're ngmi on god rizzling gyatt.

lmao remember that time I worked for a very respectable payment company for 2 months and made banks before they told me i couldn't use linux (like fuck off lmao) so I quit.

Turns out they were willfully moving drug and whore money lmao

motherfuckerz

In my latest installment of "Swift, WTF?", we look at the "if" conditional in terms of the Swift convention of:

if let x = y { /* ... */ }

so what this does :
1. declares x in the scope of the braced code
2. sets x to y (an ahem, "optional")
3. decides if x is not *nil*, then executes the braced code.

This is very similar in both the visual and the operation to the C code of:

if (int x = y) { /* ... */ }

1. declares x in the scope of the braced code
2. sets x to the value of y
3. if x is not zero, then executes the braced code

which is considered *exceptionally* poor style.

Neither the C nor the Swift construct result in a legitimate boolean value of "true" or "false", although C comes closer than Swift.

In the Swift case the *imaginary* "nil" value has to be interpreted as "false" and thus there must be extra code is for the conditional to check on whatever constitutes the **actual** value of nil in Swift and then set the condition to "false".

(remember boys and girls, "optionals" are not real, they are an imaginary language construct of Swift and have no legitimate counterpart in the CPU operations with memory and registers)

At least in the case of C, if the value of x is zero or NULL (which is 0) then it is technically a "false" which in C is 0. Regardless, it is really poor programming and anyone doing that on my team gets an ear full.

But in Swift this obfuscation of code is common and condoned! Well, why not put more of the program in the condition of the if? In fact, stuff the whole thing in there.. why not? 🙄

This just reenforces my opinion that Swift is not a bird but the stuff that comes out of the underside of the bird. 🐦💩

when you end up in the ER with excruciating pain early on a Saturday morning from persistent inflammation from chronic job stress and getting sick more than normally, you gotta change jobs.

no amount of money is worth your health.

(the drugs they gave me were pretty fun though, but not something I ever want to go through again)

There was this one time when I was asked to create screenshots of our game for marketing purposes.

The game supported solely the 480i mode.

Once I delivered the screenshots, PM bitched about them being !good, because of the visible interlace.

...the fun times of the Wii era.

Anyone else just randomly hit Help > About on programs when you’re bored?

Typescript being built around js forced the creators to build a really powerful and flexible type system so much that no other language type system can compare to.

guys dancing salsa is like a shamanic magical trip that changes your life forever and gives you Buddhist-level enlightenment

just saying

Kotlin's existence is a global disaster! It's like a piece of dog shit! When I try to reference a Kotlin-developed JAR like 'openai-java-core' in my IntelliJ Maven project, it always fails to load properly. The system keeps showing me 'Cannot resolve symbol 'Xxx''. Kotlin shouldn't exist at all! It deserves to be eradicated!

What would I do if I traveled back in time? No, not buying bitcoin. It's probably eating datura seeds or other poison. or burning myself with acid. or drinking bleach. or blinding myself with that powerful laser pointer I had. maybe then my emotionless, cold stone wall of a mother could show me some affection and empathy. she for sure didn't when I broke my finger, so maybe the severity of the injure is where it's at?

the axe forgets, the tree remembers.