You know you’re in a good mood when every song that comes on sounds good

Why do you give yourself a clean shave?

I don’t get it, men look so much better with facial hair

I have multiple personalities, collectively they’re called the council

My children will named after data structures

Sigh sigh sigh

Ladies

If when growing up your boyfriend was the mischievous/rude always getting good grades but still does bad stuff after school without ever getting caught, probably even on the honor roll typa guy, he’s probably a really good cheater. The only person who probably has an idea of who he really is, is his mother.

I just found out there are men who wear their dick upside down, isn’t ur dick suppose to be curved under your balls unless you have an erection?

Trump is butt fucking America

Have you ever been so heart broken that you can’t even masturbate, sigh …

Was having such a good time, until she mentioned her bf

Hiring a designer on fiverr for my mobile app side project

There is so much stuff wrong with me mentally, I’m a terrible person.

Open source is probably the best thing about humans

Would you say black people are more aggressive than other races?

“even tho I’m giving you a salary, this is urs as much it is mines, i want you to own it”

Then give me shares pussy

I wish css was the standard for styling everywhere

The orange juice in United States looks and taste different

All countries should agree to destroy all bombs and guns.

Brazilians look so cool

What do they mean to be frank, who is frank and why do so many people want to be him?

I’ve been around engineers too much, I tried joking with normal people and no one got it.

I'm wasting time, money and energy everyday going into the office when I could work comfortably at home being more productive than I am at work.

Ain’t no way doing cocaine feels better than cumming.

Pilots and doctors are always so clean and positive.

Do you use windows, Linux, or macOS?

What’s the scientific reason behind wanting to sleep?

As long as I stay hydrated and eating to get enough energy I don’t see why I shouldn’t be able to go on forever or for a very long time (like a phone a charging while being used)

1999 New Year’s Eve must’ve been awesome

I think I’m slightly gay

Do you recommend getting a pet scorpion?

When negotiating salary do you ask for the max in the range they provide? If not what’s the best strategy