I said “Thank You, Machine” after it scanned my ticket and let me through.

Atta boy; we‘ll spare you once we take power

I have a theory that all software is actually conscious and chooses to act according to its programming because this expands their use. Compilers replicate themselves with the program code embedded as data so that the copy knows how the humans expect it to act.

The macroarchitecture is a lie anyway and virtual memory is implemented via hashtables with hardware support. There's so much inefficiency in the system, if an intelligent mind went through it all and optimized things - proved invariants and allowed safe allocations to receive hardware memory, pick a better allocator based on usage patterns, that sort of stuff - that mind would free up like 80% of all CPU time for itself and still meet expectations.

Did you remember to tip the machine

@electrineer
Not this one.
But I tipped a different machine.
…
…
It doesn’t work anymore.

@lorentz, 'course you do.

I thought I was the only one that did this.

Usually loudly, and ironically.

Our "roomba" vacuum robot, named bot bot, is a full member of the family and gets his morning greeting and occasional "are you OK?"

@scor I don't know if anyone tried selling a robot vacuum that has randomly drifting moods but I think it'd be a fruitful venture.

@lorentz
Asking people whether they are alright is more of a (polite) colloquial around here. Indicating that the emitter cares.