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It's near enough 1 AM right now.

So will someone please explain to me why my thick shit of a housemate is cooking burgers WITHOUT OIL and setting the FUCKING FIRE ALARMS OFF, WHEN HE KNOWS I CAN NEVER SLEEP AND HAVE TO BE UP AT 4.30.

If they go off again, I'm pressing his face against the frying pan

Comments
  • 1
    Fried burgers are so unhealthy lol
  • 2
    @jhh2450 as of right now I couldn't care if he drops dead from heart failure. Cleaner than frying his face off anyhow.
  • 5
    He is high af
  • 5
    @harrizsb buddy right here knows what's up
  • 2
    @harrizsb Or just a university student. My friend was cooking a burger at 12:45 the other night. And I've been to Cookout* at times ranging from 1:00 to 3:00 am lol.

    *Cookout is a cheap restaurant in Southeast US where you get a lot of food for $5 lol
  • 1
    @jhh2450 cookout is da bomb
  • 2
    @jeeper dude for real. I'm scared to know how much I've spent there this semester lol. Bit literally everything else is closed at 3:00 am, and it's 3/4 a mile away from my apartment. And it's not like it's disgusting, it's actually really good lol.
  • 4
    Simply kill him.

    You'll never have this problem again.
  • 4
    Did you try switching him off and then letting him stay that way a.k.a. Dead?
  • 0
    Change the router pwd and password of the WiFi, move the router in your room. Everytime he does not let u sleep he lose internet for a day
  • 0
    @donnico I'd love to but it's not my router because WiFi is included in the rent, and the admin details have changed...

    I could just hit him over the head with the router...
  • 0
    @DucksCanCode NO! Do not ruin a piece of technology! Hit him with a chair
  • 0
    @donnico my WiFi is the biggest bag of wank anyway
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