Polyamory is weird and I'll never fully understand it. Every polyamorous relationship I've ever been in ended with my partner demanding monogamy weeks into the relationship, despite us setting firm boundaries and expectations at the beginning

And when I say demanding, I mean "be exclusive to me or never speak to me again", and these are folks that were staunchly poly at the beginning

one of the ladies went so far as to tell me that women develop biological attachments to men that provide them with regular orgasms, that this was scientifically proven, and that I engineered this situation for the express purpose of turning her down, even though we both agreed to be open 6 weeks earlier when we met

Like yeah that's on me, I should have fucked you worse I guess? Yeah haha my bad

I think it is when "fuck a duck" was not just an expression on your part. I ain't judging though.

I don’t have enough attention for one so more…

"biological attachment" pah!!!

Nah man, I wouldn't endorse either way cuz to each their own, but I disagree with every human forming the same exact bond. People experience love and attraction differently.

On that note, some people are by nature polyamorous but only engage in monogamous relationships. It's not a one size fits all. Just saying! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@jestdotty seems traumatic. hope you're doing ok with that.

I don’t know how anyone has time for that shit. One person takes plenty of my attention and the rest is on myself and my hobbies. If I get horny and my partner is not available I just rub one out and resume my activities.

@jestdotty ngl seems like something a friend of mine with clinical bpd would say.

@jestdotty .....holy fuck it's crazy how insane men can be. I don't understand how you raise a person to be such a dipshit without actively trying.. anyway I'm sorry, that's fucked.

my intro to poly was terrible as well. i was slowly coerced into it by my ex, to the point where she basically took my lack of dumping her (i was really good at being a doormat back then) as consent to open the relationship and have sex with her ex she had been talking to for months (some call that cheating) and when i finally agreed to it (after she had already started it ffs), i went to coffee with a girl i met at work and she promptly threatened suicide, broke a bunch of shit and moved out. it sounds like a joke but it's true, she really told me with a straight face that we consensually opened it.

so i was going into poly terribly hurt, confused, but basically immune to jealousy from the ordeal, which is essential and why most people aren't built for it (nothing wrong with it, i'm not either)

@ars1 gotta agree with you, and honestly i've never felt so horny that i had to ruin my entire life just to get a nut so i can't relate to a lot of what these dudes be doing in their spare time

@NoMad that's what the fuck i'm saying too, hell yeah. to each their own 100%

not shitting on poly at all here, just saying it takes a certain kind of person to make it work and it's not easy no matter how sexy, exciting and fun it seems.

unless you're a sociopath, then it's basically just a free for all i guess

@jestdotty Holly shit, dude... I can't even string together a response ... 😰

I'm poly, three years and going. All smooth sailing so far. Best relationship I ever had. The lack of sexual tension between us is a breath of fresh air compared to what I went through with my previous partners. We have sex when we _want_ to, not when “I worried that you're not into me anymore, we didn't have sex in a while”.

I have a history of sexual trauma that makes it hard for me to have sex. But when I dare and find someone, my wife roots for me so loudly that I actually believe I can do it.

You probably agreed to be polyamorous in uneven relationships with women you already knew you wouldn't fall for.

@jestdotty good call doing the psychedelics in your 20s though. I wish i had instead done that instead of at14-17. Turns out it wasn't such a good idea.

@kiki that is awesome haha

@kiki I like that though. Sounds like a good relationship that is not being driven by insecurity which is a total win however you slice it