what does your manager get impressed by, care about? if you were to flex what sorts of things would you flex to them?

is there someone that makes decisions over your life that isn't necessarily the manager, and what would they be impressed by or care about if one were to flex it in front of them?

Remembering to lock the bathroom door would be a flex for some people. I have almost seen a managers dick twice because of this. Also got to see sales shitting on the toilet as well. Luckily I didn't seem more than leg.

My manager cares that it works and doesn't crash.

How fast I can get something out the door

Manager: stuff that he knows external consultants would have charged 5x as much for and fucked it up.

Wife: to be honest if I flexed it in front of her she would probably just shake her head tell me to put it away.

They care about soft skills like ticket management well done, in the right status etc. Look sharp by preparing standup to a few good lines. No ehm.. I don't remember what I've did-shit

@spoiledgoods exactly. Flex flex flex

Edit: you deleted your comment

@donkulator I once said something like: "penis, in you, now..." My wife's expression changed, she said something submissive, and marched me into the bedroom. I was like, "You can do that?!" to myself.

@Demolishun ever caught by your kids while having happy time? I once got hammered and step kid walked in. Just asked something and just turned around and walked away. No idea what was going and just didn't care. So freaking innocent. It's beautiful

@jestdotty / @Demolishun check this, freaking amazing, sound required: https://9gag.com/gag/a34RLEQ/...

@retoor yeah cause I don't want to dox myself haha

@spoiledgoods I've read it. I know everything now

He got impressed by my ability to miss deadline and not be audible during calls.

@retoor I think it's less so the things you flex and more-so the attitude and humour you display while you flex that impresses people btw

blind obedience

My current manager is impressed if I…
• Tell people every single thing I’m doing as I do it
• Do someone else’s job in addition to my own
• Never complain, and compliment everyone
• Compliment him
• Do what he and his managers ask “from on high” without question
• Post lots of things about what I’m doing in the team’s Slack channel
• Give demos even if they’re boring and useless to everyone else
• Appear online early and late even if I’m not actually there
• Give detailed weekly status updates describing every little thing I did on each of my projects

And of course
• get complicated tickets done really quickly, even if poorly

@jestdotty ofc flexing take some charms :D And if everyone did it like me, it would be crazy. Everyone talking about themselves. Imagine. You can't flex when another is flexing but you could consider a reflex to that 😁 No idea what reflex in those case is yet

@jestdotty don't flex so much that you become flexible (in time) (unemployed :d). Always fun when a employer asks employees to be flexible. What does it even mean

@retoor don't make me come over there and delete your consciousness