My manager wants to have a conversation about my attitude. Time to explain that when I worked hard I got no pay rise, I only got a promotion because I lost my rag at him when he was being an arse. I have no motivation to do anything other than the bare minimum.

The only perks of the company he can give are that we can work from home and changing jobs is hassle.

Why the fuck is *he* motivated?

Fuuuuckkkk this is a train wreck

"I interviewed elsewhere not that long ago and didn't like the vibe" (his words)

I have an irriplacable skill set and it'd be a shame if I left. He thinks I'm bored and he's kinda right.

Well that was an entertaining train wreck. His main ask at the end was try to give more detailed updates in scrum. I've usually just woken up and rolled out of bed and have barely a vague recollection of what I've been doing.

He also said if I'm not taking it seriously I'm not developing. Had to list off some of my side projects which I'm currently learning more from than my job. I've never looked to my job for CPD.

Yeah, the updates in scrum it's all about. As long if you do that right and code sucks, everything is OK. I do this very well and even prepare standups so I look like a sharp ninja

@freddiearchie I downvoted all your shit. It'll never show up olin Google or here

Punch him in the face.

and here I thought someone saying I have a bad attitude was a personal insult about my baseline personality, right before the pitchforks and mobs of angry people come out to treat me like some kind of frankenstein

I once applied somewhere and it was with two owners. One said that I have a certain attitude (not in a good way). At the end they seriously wanted to hire me and I was like nooooo, said to them it was too much distance and almost ran away from that office. The guy had attitude himself so maybe he recognized smth. I can handle commentary very well, but not on such thing of directly the boss on an interview. Small chance it works out I guess. Red flag, red flag

@retoor I can't imagine someone criticizing your attitude. but I could be biased and not all knowing, too

for me if I'm thinking I ain't smiling. also I don't like people pushing me around, I actually don't even fight it but I get pensive and try to think my way out of the predicament. IRL seems to be if someone says bad attitude it's because I'm not being a cheerleader for them, is my guess. I'm distant and not warm and I like it that way -- if I'm gonna be warm it'll only be on my goddamned terms ffs, and someone trying to con me into something dumb makes me more distant and ill become avoidant and smile even less!

@jestdotty I'm enthousiast about things including things I did and proud of it. Could be considered attitude. Some people don't like having a proud someone in front of them. They don't allow you to be proud and just want to keep you smol. I saw it directly in te eyes of that arrogant owner, sitting as a sandbag called in remotely. Maybe that's it too, maybe I just couldn't take the remark from SUCH person. Their project was beautiful tho, collecting all stats from nearly all thermostats in netherlands with data so much that they collaborated with Google cloud to make it work

@jestdotty or maybe THEY dodged a bullet but don't think so cuz they did offer the job. Was it his way to get a reaction out of me? What else can the reason to say smth like that. Whatever reason was, I don't accept such a big mouth from anyone, especially not my boss. If it's important for them to talk like that, they dodged a bullet. I would never accept it. That's not an attitude but just having a freaking spine

@retoor probably he thought he could break your spirit down with time

the other day I realized my roommate made me have to internalize his helplessness. I lost like my internal spirit for doing things. cuz he viewed me just wanting to go-go-go and get things done as either abusive or stressful or like there was something wrong with me, so over time I suppressed it and after years of suppression it took me like... a month to remember I used to be different and remember the feeling that existed that made me actually be driven to fix problems instead of sit in them because my roommate caused the issue so I can't fix it because then that would be me fixing the thing for him and I'm categorically against doing someone else's work for them... so it taught me to have to just sit there and grind my teeth, being unhappy, sitting in a mess, with everything broken. got used to it and forgot my driven feeling

so probably break you down by subtle things, that don't seem related to the drive

@jestdotty your first point: exactly!

that roommate guy sounds worse and worse.

How is the cleaning project going?

@jestdotty just do piece by piece or not too perfectionistic. I 'clean' frequent but not very well. I just maintain it. Floor is exception. Don't lay down here, I repeat, don't lay down here 😂 Nah, it's ok - but I know moet people do the floor more frequent. It has to be obviously dirty before I clean that

@jestdotty you're less stressed about money since Trump won? Explain 😁 I think for murricans te trade percentage he likes to add (10%, 60% for China) will hurt murricans on short term. Europe manufacturers will just let the customer pay it by making it more expensive. Who's gonna enforce it anyway. The idea is that they move factories to USA. That's not a bad idea, but prolly the manufacturers just wait four years for new president rather than building complete new factories within few years

@jestdotty I doubt to be made for this world too. Now I didn't work for a long time, I'm thinking that I also don't want to anymore. I realized I'm not as important as I tought. So motivation is low. Going everyday with low motivation must be hell. I know a lot of people do it their whole life's. Sad. I'm used to be happy at work but now I doubt. Also not very motivational is that I don't know where to spend money on, so even that's not a motivation

@jestdotty I always felt free because what I wanted was always within the lines of freedom I had. I started work earlier and ended later, loved it. But in future.. I don't know, prolly won't feel free anymore. I see it very black. I finally know how other people must feel. Working hard is easy if you like it and it gives energy in that case even

@jestdotty yeah, if someone is nice should depends on how he treats strangers. Being nice to a friend doesn't really count. Friends are always nice to eachother and everyone has a few. So, no baseline there