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I happen to be the only girl in my small dev team of 4 males plus me.
I'm freaking tired of hearing 'hey guys','how are you doing guys', 'what's the update guys' in every meeting/call when one of them is addressing the rest of us.
Yeah i know I/they can't do anything about it. I somehow grew numb to hearing it, but sometimes hearing it one thousand time in a single call is driving me crazy.
I once mentioned it to an a senior dev who happens to be the one using the g word the most during meeting.
Me: could you please stop saying guys all the time, I'm not a guy.
Him: what do you want me to say, 'hey guys and a girl?!'
Me: ... -_- (internally: seriously!!)

Uugh.

Comments
  • 24
    First thing is asked myself when i read that: are you from the US? In english "you guys" seems to be quite like a neutral "you people" with a lot less "what you mean by 'you people' you mean black people? "-potential attached while in other languages the direct translation like "ihr Jungs" in german is pretty uncommon to be used on mixed groups.
  • 5
    If you don't like it then they should change how the team is called, like hey people, folks or whatever.

    Having said that, even I do that at times and guys is not meant to be just for boys but gender neutral, unless someone doesn't like it.
  • 13
    I always use guys to mean both genders. I considered maybe girls feel I am excluding them but other words like friends, amigos, people, team sounds weird. Offensive things can work like losers or weirdos but could cause offence. Using both female and male like ladies and gentleman is way too formal so I give up.
  • 5
    very relatable. I get the the same " hey guys" stuff a lot too. I started mentioning it and by now usually punish the colleague with a dark look. It seems to work, as they often add "and girls" now. Just keep pointing it out on a calm manner. If you need to, take a breather first before addressing it. Good luck!
  • 3
    @irene I couldn't help but actually checking a dictionary. In plural, it actually is gender neutral, that's correct. I do however think that due to the male connotation in the singular form, a lot of (female) people can actually feel exluded by the use of the plural, too. //Language Nerd Comment Over
  • 3
    no I'm not in the US, nor is English my native language.
    Using the g word and how people react to it might be due to their culture I guess. for me , it didn't make a difference in the past till i started hearing it all the time. I just got fed up with it.
    I wouldn't mind other words like: folks, team.
    I just wish the rest of the team were more careful with their words.
    I think someday I'm gonna explode with anger lol. Till then, I'm just gonna keep rolling my eyes at the mention of that word.
  • 8
    @rising got fed up of it, doesn't seem like appropriate reason (for me) to ask others to change how they call the group.. else I'd ask everyone to call me 'my Lord' cause I got fed up of my name. 😁😁😁

    Also, as @CoffeeNcode said, it is gender neutral plural form which also mean multiple males. So ultimately context matters.
  • 9
    Its gender neutral, why should they treat you differently? your gender doesnt make you special.

    "Guys and girls" or "Team" is just such an awkward thing to say/get used to, especially after I imagine them saying that a lot for the past years and now one team member wanting special treatment.

    I could get behind if I would work in some women only area and they would greet us all as "hi girls" but something gender neutral? thats just creating problems out of thin air imho
  • 7
    I consider "guys" to basically be a gender neutral term. I say it all the time, even when I'm not addressing men. What would you consider a good substitute? I really don't know any, apart from "ya'll" but that's not really a word used in my region.

    It's just a word for a group of people. They aren't thinking about your gender, so they aren't modifying their words
  • 1
    I can only imagine this is a culture thing for you as my first thought, as someone from England, where we use "guys" as a gender neutral way of addressing a group, was "that's ridiculous". I think this is something you just need to accept and get used to. As said before, being "fed up" of something when it's actually the norm is a bit entitled but it seems you didn't realise its the norm.
  • 7
    Please... Pick your battles. If this is bothering you, I fear for your well being when you experience ACTUAL sexism and misogyny.
  • 3
    @CoffeeNcode so? i feel excluded numerous times for many reasons, most of them more legitimate than this, every day. and i don't whine about it. you know why? because I FEEL, therefore MY PROBLEM, nobody else's.
  • 3
    @rising i can't imagine you coding while keeping your sanity, if you have the ability to get angered by something as petty and inconsequential as this. what do you when you come across some quality wtf or a nasty bug in code? smash the computer to pieces?
  • 4
    Technically that person is correct, which is the best kind of correct.
  • 2
    Astonishing: it's gender neutral so you are not allowed to be unhappy about it.

    What if her team called each other kiddos/shitheads or something and she wasn't happy about that? What would your advice be then? I doubt it will be "get used to it".
  • 0
    @Midnigh-shcode calm down. I'm not feeling attacked. I was just analyzing the situation
  • 10
    Calm down everyone, it was just a rant, which is what devRant is all a about.
    I don't mind using guys, nor being addressed as such, I'm even kinda tomboy'ish by my society standards.
    I was just ranting about how hearing it all the time started irking me. And for my defence, i didn't know it was the norm, cuz English is not my native language Duh, and I'm working in an international env, so culture might be a factor here.
    I'm no snowflake, i don't demand special treatment not do I want it. I don't understand how rantig about something can give the impression that the OP is asking for special treatment.
    Do not worry, I'm quite confident in my work and have been delivering everything within deadlines most of the time. Just because i ranted once, doesn't mean that my mind is occupied with this every day all day long.
    Just chill guys.
  • 3
    And everything is back to normal. Rant away my fellow ranter :-):-)
  • 5
    @rising
    You started a discussion that people care about. Well done i would say.
  • 6
    @CWins I didn't know that my first rant here will be this successful ;)
  • 1
    @irene Imagine a society in which it is customary to call each other "shithead". Then someone comes along and says: "I don't like to be called a shithead" . What's a decent response: "it's how it is/it's grammatically correct, deal with it" or "OK, I won't do that anymore."
  • 0
    @freakko But it is plenty common for close male friends to affectionately refer to their friends with insults. But that behavior is typically not brought into the office, and if it is, would probably be called out. So I don't understand your analogy at all.

    "Imagine a world completely unlike this situation. Wouldn't that be awful? Thus, this situation is awful."
  • 0
    @SoulSkrix That's the point. To some "guys" isn't neutral at all.
  • 1
    @Christine Substitute "shitheads" by "little cute cuddly dragons". Point is: someone is called something they don't want/like to be called and the general response seems to be: "tough luck, thats how it is, get used to it."
  • 0
    @SoulSkrix Would love to see how you react when someone (e.g. a colleague) keeps calling you "kiddo" and decides you are "touchy" for pointing out that you are grown up man (or however you prefer to see/describe yourself).
  • 0
    @irene I think it is everywhere 😉😉
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