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Little fun story
About 3 years ago, my woman came gome from picking up our son from kindergarten.
She told me that she met a very nice woman - also a mom - whose man is also a dev (He is a FullStackDev, while I mainly do backend in PHP) .
She said that she invited them over for BBQ the next day.
In my mind, I was like "Fuck, now I need to listen to some wanker explaining me how great it is to be doing full stack with all the latest and greatest tools and bells and whistles why I am the fat kid using PHP"...
The BBQ-day arrived, we have met, we have talked, and we have been best friends and brothers-from-another-mother ever since.
Life is good sometimes.5 -
[dev vs client]
- What's your screen resolution?
- 100%
- What's your browser?
- I use internet and sometimes Google.8 -
Today is my last day at this job.
Can't tell you how happy I am to be leaving this place in about 7 hours.
Starting my new job in January, so I get 4 weeks of nice vacation/ family time.8 -
Honestly: I love my job. Every day. I get paid to do what I love to do. And when I get home after sometimes 11 hours of work, I turn on my notebook to do exactly what I did at work - just as a relaxation method.5
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Junior dev: "I don't understand this code, therefore there must be something wrong with it. I'm gonna rewrite it."18
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Funnny thing happened today, my gf took my phone and started scrolling through recent apps, suddenly she sees devRant app and says, "What is this app? Is it the place your rant about me?"
All because her pet name is Dev! #DevRant15 -
Old man's tale. It's true.
Like 12 years ago, I was working in a small town computer store.
One day, a really ugly woman came in and asked for data recovery since she could not boot up her PC anymore.
We recovered her data, and just to make sure it was all "working", we randomly checked a few directories for files.
We have found some photos of her.
Her and a bottle of Coke.
Let me put it this way: she loves coke bottles. A lot.
There are things that can't be unseen, and moments you still remember after 12 years. Like the moment she came in to get her stuff - and you need to pretend to be all business while you're almost pissing your pants.
Good days :)7 -
10 more days at my current job.
then: 4 weeks off to rest and get my side projects online.
then: start my new job.
life is good sometimes
3 -
So I have this best friend who is almost 10 years younger than me. (I'm turning 40 this month). He's a full stack web dev, nodejs-god, react-maniac, you name it. He fucking LIVES to code the most amazing shit I have seen to date.
I, on the other hand, am that old, little overweight PHP coder webdev with a shitload of experience in that field (17th year now), also with linux webserver administration and all the JavaScript knowledge I need in m job.
Sitting next to him and doing some fun coding sessions always makes me feel like I am that "slow, fat kid in class"... while he is the coding master.
Sitting at work (marketing agency) where I started as the new webdev 10 months ago, I still feel like the coding guru because even the web 'developers' don't know jack shit yet (coz they never had to).
It's fine, they are learning and want to learn.
All I wanna say that even though one might be seen as a senior dev by some, he might sometimes feel like a junior dev when he's around others.2 -
A Geologist and a developer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Geologist leans over to the developer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Developer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Geologist persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5." Again, the Developer politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Geologist now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!"
This catches the Developer's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Geologist asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the moon?"
The Developer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the Geologist.
Now, it's the developer's turn. He asks the Geologist, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?" The Geologist looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers -- all to no avail.
After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $50. The developer politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep.
The Geologist is more than a little miffed, shakes the developer and asks, "Well, so what's the answer?"
Without a word, the developer reaches into his wallet, hands the Geologist $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.4 -
Ever since I started working at a company that has a real focus on software I have less to rant about....😒3
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Good to see instagram move to python3 without an exception. Literally that was smooth. Cheers to those who think Python is not scalable. 95 million photos on daily basis. 400 daily users.
https://thenewstack.io/instagram-ma...5 -
I think I may start my very own indie game dev studio... For now as a one man army... That’ll be fun.
I guess wish me luck guys!
I mean, what could possibly go wrong?12 -
spent 7-8 months looking for work (did a few freelance jobs in the mean time), spent what's worth of days on LinkedIn.. no reply at all, talked to recruiters got declined over the phone after 2-3 mins of call time..
Applied to a company branch in my home country nailed the 4+1(code challenge) interviews, will be leaving this Saturday morning (in 2days) now the bloody bastards start to reply and send offers for positions they have, when I clearly have to decline as I don't want to be left empty handed..
fuck you Sam, Jake and the other pricks that decided it is OK to reply after 3-4 months.. go fuck yourselves with a horse's dick you piece of crap.. After you're done, go shoot yourselves with the gun for ugly dumb animals!!! Hate you!
Kind regards, dev-nope!3 -
When my former boss let me go, he asked "you devs do not plant some secret code into your software so you can destroy it remotely, do you?".
I smiled and walked away.
Needless to say I got some money on top on my last day at that job.2 -
Dev: My VM is not working. Something is wrong with VM.
Me: Have you made any changes to the code?
Dev: It shouldn't matter my VM is not working.
[I go and check the Dev's VM.]
Me: ಠ_ಠ The build output literally states your unit tests failed -
No grandpa, I don't scam people online. I am a web developer - I earn my living online, building web apps, plugins, etc. (and stuff that you won't really grasp). And again, stop telling people that I'm lazy - I don't watch movies on my computer from 8AM-5PM. Lovely grandma, please don't believe him.2
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Background: I work at a small startup company in Canada who makes simple FAQ Chatbots for companies who waste a lot of resources on the same Customer questions over and over.
So we were making this one bot for a provincial government who wanted a bot for students to be able to ask questions regarding the upcoming election and how to vote, etc. and get the answers they were looking for. Since it's Canada and a government bot, it had to be in both English AND French.
These bots take some time to train (we use Wit.ai mostly) in english so it was a challenge to train it in French. However I am bilingual (not very strong in French but can manage) so I did my best and the bot didn't turn out too bad. (English was great, French was, Id say, "not terrible").
HOWEVER, now that it is done (The company loved it, even with the less than perfect french version). The sales team (who know nothing of the process of making/training these bots) is now telling companies we support "SEVERAL LANGUAGES" and are currently about to sign a contract with a company overseas that wants a bot done IN JAPANESE!!.
To make matters worse.. when we (the dev team) brought up that it would be EXTREMELY difficult to do this, their answer was ... "You did it in French so you can just do the same but in Japanese"
HOW DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE.
Oh well, Rosetta Stone here I come, I guess it's time to learn Japanese.12 -
!rant, just wanted to express my excitement to someone
Not sure if this counts but technically I got my first freelance dev job designing an app for a club/small business at school. I have a lot to learn still but I'm really happy about the opportunity3 -
Discovered by accident that if your chrome dev tools are undocked you can open the dev tools for the dev tools window (by hitting ctrl shift i/cmd alt I again), and you can keep doing it.
Let's debug the debugger that's debugging something...
That's enough meta for one day, my head hurts.2 -
I happen to be the only girl in my small dev team of 4 males plus me.
I'm freaking tired of hearing 'hey guys','how are you doing guys', 'what's the update guys' in every meeting/call when one of them is addressing the rest of us.
Yeah i know I/they can't do anything about it. I somehow grew numb to hearing it, but sometimes hearing it one thousand time in a single call is driving me crazy.
I once mentioned it to an a senior dev who happens to be the one using the g word the most during meeting.
Me: could you please stop saying guys all the time, I'm not a guy.
Him: what do you want me to say, 'hey guys and a girl?!'
Me: ... -_- (internally: seriously!!)
Uugh.32 -
been a win user for all my career.
started a new job last monday,and had to switch to a mac.
damn, that shit fries my brain.
all the shortcuts, my brackets, everything is different.13 -
My coworker used to write code but never bothered with indents and nests. He got fired for not following the rules of the company. I know this sounds boring but w/e3
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So I never had a proper education in IT. Started web development as a hobby, then some people started giving me money for it, and here I am, working as a fulltime web dev since 2001 and SEO expert since 2010.
Still, I sometimes wonder how much I really know compared to some fresh coder who just got out of university.
I know how to create great software from A to Z, but still I sometimes get the feeling that I am missing the fundamental basics.
Is that weird?4 -
!rant
Whenever I open someone elses code, I do a project wide search for "FUCK".
Found many of these:
die("FUCK")
// fuck this
// #todo FUCK
Works on github as well. 😂🤣1 -
So yesterday I went to the postal service to claim my package(stress ball). While I'm waiting for the package the employee there asked me:
EMPLOYEE: There's so many stress balls here why buy one overseas.
ME: It's a dev swag I got free.
E: Oh I see. *looked at me suspiciously*
a moment later...
E: Hey, why stress ball? Did someone on your family got stroke?
M: No, it's for me. *smiled*
The after I got the package, the man looks like he wants me to open the package in front of him. Which I didn't do because I'm late for my work.
Maybe it's a first time here that someone sent a stress ball from US. Goodness. Hahahaha
ps. the man looks at me like I did something illegal which is a bit awkward. Hahahaha7 -
Since this isn't dev, I'll have to make it a rant:
I can have hobbies other than devving, goddamn it! Leave me alone!
11 -
I have a feeling that a senior dev left a bug on purpose to see if I would catch. Anyone else have that feeling or am I just paranoid?6
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Started working at 3:30am today.
That either means I am dedicated or stupid. Maybe both.
For sure, my boss doesn't appreciate it, so I guess that makes me stupid then :)5 -
TL;DR you suck, I suck and everybody sucks, deal with it....
------------------------------------
Let me let off some steam, since I've had enough of people hating on languages "just because"
Every language has it's drawbacks and quirks, BUT they have their strengths also. Saying "I hate {language}" is just you being and ignorant prick and probably your head is so far up your ass that you look like an ass hat. With that being said, every language is either good or bad depending on the developer writing in it. Let's give you an example:
If I ware to give you a brick and ask you to put a nail in a plank, can you do it? Yes, it will be easier if you do it with a hammer, but you have a brick, so hammer is out of the question. If you hit your thumb while doing it... well... sorry, but it is not the bricks fault - it is YOU!
JavaScript, yes it has a whole lot of problems, but it works, you can do a ton of stuff and does a good job at that, it is evolving through node and typescript (and others, just a personal pref), BUT if you used js when you ware debugging that jquery (1.0) plugin written in the free time of a 13 yo, who copy pasted a bunch from SO, well, it is not js' problem - deal with it. Same goes for PHP, i've been there where you had a single `index.php` with bazillion lines of code, did a bunch of eval and it was called MVC, but it also is evolving.. thing is all languages allow you to do some dumb stuff so YOU have to be responsible to not fuck it up (which you always DO btw, we all do). Difference is PHP/JS roll with it because the assumption is that you know what you are doing, which again - newsflash - you don't.
More or less I would blame that shit on businesses which decided to go with undergrads to save money instead of investing in their product, hell, I am in a major company that does not invest that doesn't care a whole lot about dev /tech stuff and now everybody's mother is an engineer - they care about money, because investors care about money (ROI) and because clean code does not pay the bills, but money does.
If we get all of the good practices and apply them to each language every one of them has it's place, that is why there is no "The Language", even if there was, we STILL ware going to fuck it up and probably it was going to be even worse than where we are now.
Study, improve, rinse and repeat... There are SENIORS and LEADS out there that are about 25-30 and have no fucking clue about the language, because they have stuck up their heads up the ass of frameworks and refuse to take a breath of clean air and consider something different than their dogmatic framework "way" of doing things.. That is the result you are seeing. Let me give you a fresh example to illustrate where I am at atm:
Le me works with ZendFramework 2.3-2.5 (why not, which is PHP5+ running on PHP7 [fancy, eh]), and little me writes a module for said project, and tries to contain it in its own space, i.e not touching anything outside of the folder of the module so it is SELF-CONTAINED (see, practices), during 2-3-4 iterations of code review, I've had to modify 4 different modules with `if (somthing === self::SOMETHING_TYPE)` as requested by my TL, which resulted in me not covering 3 use-cases after the changes and not adding a new event (the fw is event-driven, cuz.. reasons) so I have to use a bunch of ifs in the code, to check a config value and do shit. That is the way of I am asked to do things I hate what I've done and the fact that because of CR I have lost case-coverage, a week of work and the same TL will be on my ass on monday that things are now "perfect".
The biggest things is "we care about convention and code style"... right.... That is not because of the language, not because of me, not because of the framework - it is some dude's opinion that you hate, not the language.
New stuff are better, reinventing the wheel is also good, if it wasn't you would've had a few stone circular things on your car and things ware going to be like that - we need to try and try, that is the only way we actually learn shit.
Until things change in the trade, we will be on the same boat, complaining about the same shit over and over, you and me won't be alive probably but things will not change a bit.
We live in a place where state is considered good, god objects necessary (can you believe it, I've got kudos for using the term 'God Object'... yep, let that sink in). If you really hate something, please, oh god I beg you, show me how you will do it better and I will shake your hand and buy you a beer, but until then, please keep your ass-hurt fanboy opinion to your self, no one gives a shit about what you think, we will die and the world will not notice...6 -
Dev: I see you have tattoo
Person: I do. Thank you.
Dev: I never said it was good
*dev walks away and person looks at their tattoo
I'm glad i got to experiance this beautiful moment -
These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated." -
Confused as hell: Android TextView is equivalent to iOS UILabel, and iOS UITextView is somehow equivalent to Android EditText! 😡😡😡
Learning Android should be hard for an iOS Dev!7 -
!rant
Going to quit my job today.
Feeling bad because my bosses are great guys and lead a great company.
Feeling like an asshole...6 -
!dev
My family is breaking up, crashing down like a meteor. My father is behaving like a fucking Scrooge.
If I was younger, I would probably not even notice, but at this age this is all very stressful, since this is a huge change in my life. It could even disturb my education... I don’t want to think about it.9 -
Top tip back for beginners, make sure your dev and live environments are identical.
And do your testing in dev!1 -
It must really suck to be a malware dev... "Oh look, the recent changes i made to my cryptomalware made it work! Sadly project file are encrypted too. Lets start over."1
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As a junior dev I'm really frustrated at work today. My boss wanted us to complete a project within 3 weeks. The project includes a multi-tenant hotel system that includes reservation, invoicing, advanced reports, housekeeping system and an API. I'm starting to feel something about myself, I have no progress. I'm so slow. I love what I'm doing but maybe this is too much.
ps. we're a team of 28 -
Sometimes you need someone to be your /dev/null with whom you can talk about all that fucked up shit going on in your mind.
Thank you /dev/null -
I was talking to my non-tech gf about how a colleague of mine didn't understand priority queue and show led her an example, during explanation fucked up the example and duplicated priorities of 2 values but they came up in the unexpected order. She wanted to find the logic in it and blamed the computer for being dumb, but it has been ~45 minutes, she has Wikipedia about binary trees & linked list open as well as simple graphs visualising both + armed with pen and paper trying to understand how it all all works..
Achievement Earned?
P.S I am either creating a monstrosity (Frankenstein style) or recruiting a fresh mind to our ranks, either way I am proud af 😢😊😍11 -
Be honest.
How many hours of your work day do you do real work?
Right now, I am at about 7/8.
Usually about 5/8.20 -
!dev
I just had one of the worst Uber trips ever.
The guy is literally the definition of learning on the job except that the job here is driving people and he doesn't seem to learn shit!!
He opened Google Maps on his phone but never looked at it. I was directing him all the way. He randomly stopped the car completely a few times in the middle of the fucking highway!! He doesn't look at the side mirrors, he actually tilts his head left and right to check for other cars!! I'm glad I finally got to my destination in one piece.
The funny thing is that he was ranting on how bad the road is and how unreliable the GPS is. Is that how we look when we rant about clients? xD3 -
@dfox I would love to have a "save for later"/ bookmark feature. I am seeing so many great things here and I'd love to access them later. Maybe something you could implement some day?
Cheers mate!3 -
Building an app in Cordova.
Customer request:
Make a fullscreen view to come up on every app start. It should have a button with the text "Start" on it to get into the app.
#wtf3 -
What to do when you have no more faith in your capabilities and it feels like your ambition and drive to dev just kinda died... Thinking of becoming a cashier or restocking shelves at wallmart... (-_-)7
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Me: Cool You're using that code editor, How are you debugging?
Junior Dev: I do not debug my code.
Me: Say what?
Junior Dev: I Don't need it.2 -
Life is a constant battle of not knowing whether I want to quit programming forever, or if I just need 8 hours sleep.1
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Best thing to be a dev
You create your own tools, problem solving skills that we learn and the best thing that non-tech people treat you as a genius5 -
I always wanted to be an airforce pilot since I was a kid. Then snes came, spent a great deal of hours playing so many games. I got curious on how they were created and although I did it, I always wondered why people blow on cartridges if the game won't start. Fast forward to CS, Diablo 3, Red alert. I was fascinated whenever I type something on the console and something happened, that got me excited. Add that I was using wordstar and programming HTML/CSS in school when I was just 10-11. When I turned 12, I was programming using Borland C++. It just snowballed from there, curiosity and a series of my programs working made me focus a lot of my time talking to computers (especially when I built robots using lego mindstorms). While my classmates were having a hard tim deciding what course to take in college, I was already certain since I was just a sophomore in high school. I will write and talk to computers until I wear thick glasses.
So there it is, my dev story. Apologies for a lengthy post. 😀
2 -
I'm still a student, not dev yet.
Thanks for reminding me that I don't completely belong in here😂12 -
Had to ride the train to Bonn, Germany yesterday to attend a Sistrix workshop today. Bonn has one of the worst, ugliest.and smelliest train stations I have ever seen - and I have seen quite many.
The hotel I chose over inet recommendations is a shithole with paper thin walls, through which I could hear the neighbouring room's occupant snore all night.
Now I am awake at 6 am, feeling like shit and haven't had coffee yet. My workshop starts at 10, ends at 5pm. Train home leaves at 6pm, I will be home at 10:30 pm.
Gonna be a long f'n day.
I hope the SEO people I will meet are going to be fun.2 -
What is your favourite dev-tool, you can't live without?
For me it's Git. Rescued my life for several times... 😅14 -
you know what was fun?
Back in 2012, I started developing an app for the windowsphone (7 back then) which was basically an offline backup navigation for pilots with a few extras likr weather data for pre flight planning.
It was so cool doing all this back then, because there weren't many wp devs out there.
Microsoft even sent me 6 different phones (straight from Redmond) to play with (and keep them).
Those were the days 😀😀1 -
Dev calls are so awkward when you're waiting for everyone to join and someone insists on having a conversation
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tl;dr
I am either the most responsible or the biggest idiot in the team
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TODAY.. oh boy.. fuck today. Like literally tuck this day and this shit. We ware doing releases for an integration we ware working on for ~1.5 months ... Aaand things went wrong - I guess we didn't make a sacrifice to the release gods - finally at around 8:30pm, being pretty much the last in the whole fucking office after a few last minute fixes I get my skinny ass on my way to grab a Corona and enjoy the public holiday tomorrow ...
Aaaaand I wish that was it, it turns out some things ware forgotten by.. well everyone aaaaand shit doesn't work (ofc ffs, why should it).. I see a slack notif and the feeling of dread gets me a couple of messages back I promise I'll be there in a couple of hours tops..and here I am ranting doing shit covering my desk with "food", hating my fucking self...
Me and the Head of Dev are literally the only ones working ATM... -
Will be leaving the current company at the end of the Year without being able to end the worst project I have ever seen.
Tempted to write an apology in the comments of one of the core files.... -
People, dear people...
I have witnessed this many times. Too many I'd say. It is at a point which makes things depressing.
Stop living double lives. It's just unhealthy at this point! I have developed a simple formula for the way people act.
if(public == true){
act.happy&cute
}
else{
act.depressed&sad
}
Now, that doesn't seem too complicated, does it? But don't you think you're putting yourself under too much stress from doing such a thing? Why would you keep switching roles, when you are one. You are an individual. I know people try to manipulate you to be like them, they do so a lot. They do so, because they don't want to see someone being different. Things like Communism help those kinds of people with little individuality to prosper.
Now, lets look at a person who lives a healthy lifestyle, a lifestyle of ONE. This person hates politics. What dumb idiot would put in so much work to lie every day? No. This person hates lying. It adds so much stress to your diet after all. Why do you have no friends? They can't accept you the way you are. Why do you have to change yourself to get more friends? Why do you have to live by their rules and not your own? Why do you all have to look the same, just because it is "popular" to do so? Just live an honest life. Don't lie. It is the worst thing you could do. Being always serious too leads to a lot of bad things happening. After all, almost every horrible thing in life was done by someone with a very smart and serious looking face. Why don't they just smile? Because then they'll have to show that they're human. Humans can't do such horrible things. Only those creatures called politicians can. Those people get rewarded for lying. It takes nothing to lie. Lies are not memorable. But if you keep repeating the same lie over and over and over and over and over — you will start believing the lie yourself. At that point, the lie has become the truth. Isn't that a scary thought? That just one little lie can become the ultimate truth? Why are lies ruling the way people behave? Why not the truths?
Because. People can't be truthful. Sadly, humanity condemns people who speak the truth. Scientists have been always shut out by the Church. Burned at the stake for not being as dumb and as sheeplike as all the other people. After all,
if people thought differently, they would not follow the Church. There is nothing wrong with belief, but why should an organization modify YOUR beliefs at THEIR will. Why? Because it is politics. The political language is a language of lying and long words. It is a language of people with serious, smart looking faces. It is of people who never think that they're wrong, but at the same time never question the impossible.
Now, I have been rambling on for a while, and since this is a dev forum, I can't really finish this off. I think I am going to write a manifesto or an essay during the rest of the holiday break. Also if anyone could help me start a public https server onto which I can upload my essays, I would be most thankful.8 -
!rant
When I need an extra 10 minutes of doing nothing, I hit up my console on full screen, "htop" and leave with the words "ouch, this is gonna take a while". -
Wait, what the...?
So, mid frontend developer is valued more than mid fullstack dev. But there’s also possibility that mid frontend dev could earn more than senior fullstack dev...
15 -
How fucking difficult is it to first figure out what the hell you want me to build, before assigning me a project?
But noo...make me implement a feature that will do a completely different thing in two weeks, and a completely different thing a week after that...fuck you Jeff3 -
Works in production?
Yes: Copy changes to dev and test.
No: Start humming and walk away from the computer. -
First Happy new year, now lets get put on the dancing shoes... (I have another one coming, but this one is fresh)
As a PHP developer (yeah I am and I like it, if you gonna hate on me... go fuck yourself) I expect to not be required to reinvent the wheel when I have to use something that is not too mainstream (in my case was producing JSON and XML HAL responses). Now there are 2 (fairly active and somewhat mature), one of which does not produce XML responses, so off I went with the other one, but for fucks sake it does not produce XML that is compliant with the (draft)RFC (https://tools.ietf.org/html/...)
So as I need that, I decided to write one myself, since extending the one that provided XML would've been a waste of time, since it is NOT documented and for some reason depends on about 4 packages (also developed by the same maintainer), why the whining you ask, eh? Well fuck this shit. It took me 2(+2 classes) to achieve everything (according to standard as far as I can tell) + went with using a "hydrator" as opposed to reflection (the lib used reflection and didn't care too much for the access modified on the property of the object being serialized) so got a pretty solid performance boost, cleaner and simple code (I wrote it for a few hours and it is ugly, but hey KISS and it works perfectly)...
So with the more ranty part of this rant... Why the fuck so many people don't write independant packages for the simple parts... I don't hate it when I need a package and end up downloading half of the codebase of symfony or whatever fancy framework the dev decided to use, wasn't it the point of having 'package managers' (composer, npm, etc.. you get the deal..) instead of promote our projects and not force others to use our favorite framework that is absolutely out of scope for their projects...
Fuck you, fuck me and fuck everybody... If this continues I will continue writing my own packages from scratch, because "you" asshole are too lazy to learn and apply SOLID and common sense; even if your life depends on it you cannot write a meaningful piece of code without "the fancy framework of the month" holding your hand and allowing you to continue being a dumbass that has enough brain cells to walk straight and remember that you have to go to the toilet and not shit all over the place....
FML.... Fuck this shit and that is the main reason my gears grind the most when I head "you should use *framework name* instead" or "don't reinvent the wheel", fuck that guy I refuse to work my ways around a framework in order to get things done, my boss aint happy for that shit you know, I don't get paid to deal with your crappy code or uninformed opinion..3 -
Signing the contract with a new agency as their new dev in 3 hrs. Will quit my current Job on Aug. 18. Looking forward to that day. Boss will explode...5
-
Me - "Designs and creates a new staff page for work"
Result - "everyone at work loves it"
Me - "I feel really accomplished"
Co-worker - "I'm gonna use this design, that you made, for my interviews for jobs and say I made it"
Me - "wtf" -
As a dev, knowing some basic sh** about your infra comes in handy, esp when it's Saturday afternoon and you realise your Thursday release f'd up some obscure integration1
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Sure I'll be the sole developer on this Facebook equivalent app whilst also being the lead dev on 3 others!
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Do you consider good appearance in the dev world important, or at least necessary?
(just want to hear ideas)5 -
This is more of a story than a rant, but it has some rant-ey elements, so whetever...
I work for a pretty big company. Several departments, teams, many different markets...so it's a big orchestration. The programming department (aprox. 5% of all employees) is the core of the whole company, because everybody else uses software we've written...(a bit off topic, the point is there are a lot of people)
So today, I got assigned with a side-project. The project spec arrives, and as I read through it, I start realizing that upper-management whats me to build an app to fire people instead for them. The app is supposed to track salary, connect with Trello (for departments that use it) to track finished tasks, track sick days, work attendence...a lot of stuff, and at the end, if the situation requires, spit out a person that is of least benefit to the company, to be fired...
Now from coding perspective, this will be very interesting and fun to build, but from a moral standpoint, I'm a bit woried...simply because, indirectly, I'm firing those people. Because, the way I tune the the app(specifically the algorithm that weighs the value of an employee to the company) will cause certain people to get fired...
So I'm woried I'm gonna have a small breakdown when the app goes live and I see someone saying goodbye to theie colegues of something similar...heck, the app might even spit out my name some day(I should probably add a tiny if statement somewhere in there :) )
What do you guys think about this, from a moral standpoint? Would you be okay with building something like this?
(Sorry for the long post :/ )8 -
Having my last day at this company today!!! So looking forward to the new job. No more customers I have to talk to, no more deadlines, no more fucking app development.
Going to be the lead SEO and e-Commerce guy in a relatively big company, with my own small team, finally my own office again - and less development (but will still develop about 20% of the time).
Gonna be awesome, but first, I get to have 3 weeks vacation to renovate my house 😁1 -
Found a Junior Dev position for fresh graduates but requires 5+ years of Java programming. Hope I started Java when I was in high school.10
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Boss thinks the CMS that another dev built over the course of a good year, will make customers say "ooooh yeah, I will definately come to you and pay a shitload of money for a buggy and unfinished system, even tho I will never be able to leave with a working copy of my website like I could with wordpress".
The whole effing things is based on an old, outdated version of a popular PHP framework.
Oh yeah, and I can not update <the framework> because the dev has tinkered with the core files :)
Yay.
The whole fucking thing won't run on PHP7 and will explode right into my boss's face.
Not mine though, because I will be gone by then :) -
!rant
Had to build an app using Cordova because... well, I am a web dev and know a shitload of PHP and a good part of JS, but no Swift or Java or whatever.
So there is a deadline set to like half a year after we had the initial talk with the customer. 6 months to build a relatively easy and small app.
So yeah, I procrastinated like one would do when he's got that kind of time left and not much else to do.
And yeah, I did work, but also procrastinated some more. The development was as expected, and I was well in the anticipated time frame.
Then I got a really bad disc prolapse and was sick at home and the hospital for (all together) 5 weeks.
After that, I came back to work for a week, then leaving for a (previously planned) vacation with my little family.
On my first day back at work after the vacation, I quit my job with a 6 weeks notice, of which I have to work 3 weeks.
I know it sounds like I'm a real prick, but it was never planned this way. I never searched for a new job. It just came to me.
I am still finishing the app, though :)
Why am I telling you this?
Well, I do that to show that there still are great bosses out there. My boss has NEVER spoken a bad word to me, even after I quit my job. He's always been kind, fair and understanding.
I just wanted to show that between all these rants about bad bosses and colleagues (which I have had my fair share of in the past), there still are some real gems out there.
Gotta my my boss - he's been one of the best I have had so far.
Peace out folks. Good night... -
I love hackathons where I have a team and all but 1 or 2 ppl including me are still programming for 24 hrs instead sleeping.3
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!dev
My Gorillaz preorder and backdrop poster sat has arrived! I’m so happy! Loving the new album.
14 -
Going from 80% development/20% SEO at an agency to a new inhouse position with 90% SEO and 10% development. But it'll be fun.
If not, I will let you know for sure. -
Beginning my dev career in a few weeks. Now it's the time to decide which weapons I should bring to the war.
So, devRant: MacBook Pro or ThinkPad (in the same price range)?23 -
We used a javascript library before on our project. While reading the documentation, it states that you need to put the ajax response on an .addRow() function in json array.
That was what we did, but it keeps on throwing tons of errors. In the end, we visited our senior dev. Turns out, the function needs an array and not a json array.
I stopped reading documentations since then. And our senior dev stopped talking to us. Hahahajk -
(Day 1 of Database Class)
Database Prof - "Your final project is a program or app that deals with big data and showcases data analysis. Make something that can be used by consumers and has real-world application."
(After the Day of Showcasing Projects)
Database Prof -
(What he should have said on Day 1) - "Make something that makes me laugh with added data." -
Intern next to me is given high praise for creating a simple VBasic gui for excel. I get stuck with Middle and Backend work. I wish I could say my internship is easy money (he can atleast) but I like the challenge.2
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I went to meet a client with our CTO. In the meeting we discuss the implementation of SAML SSO. Their SSO guys asked whether they need to build 2 trusts for our application because we have 2 modules that use SSO. Both the CTO and I were not sure because we did not have any prior experience of integrating SAML SSO. To act professional, we couldn't say we were not sure. So the CTO said we needed two trusts. I immediately added "We may only need one. Let us do a bit of investigation and confirm."
After the meeting I did the investigation and found out we really only needed one. So I sent out an email to tell the client, cc the CTO. 1 minute later I got the email from the CTO "why tell them one when I said two?". When it's an immediate response with only 1 line, I know I'm in trouble. So I called him and was ready to explain to him. I couldn't. Later I found out the time I was calling him, he was talking about this with the CEO.
I thought maybe I can explain to him when he's available. The next morning as I came to work, the CEO asked me to come to his office. He closed the door, and told me the first line the CTO told him the day before was "I want him (me) fired." I was so shocked. Having been working with the CTO for quite a while, I was surprised he said that without even communicating with me. Did I do something that wrong that you don't even bother to tell me what's wrong? I was not fired because the CEO at least asked what happened. He also understood I was actually making a better technical decision. But well, guess I shouldn't be making a decision when I had no power to. And even I believed the client heard my "let me investigate first" comment, the CTO didn't. I still got an unofficial warning. For that whole day because of the stress, I don't remember getting anything done.
Fuck that acting like profession and smart when you are not. I'd go down the path of becoming professional and smart instead. And fuck metting with clients. I'm a dev don't fucking dare to talk to me and get me fired. If you wanna talk, talk to the big guys who don't make us look bad like I did.
If you ask me today I still believe I haven't done anything wrong there. So fuck everything.2 -
Put this as a comment but felt that it needed a post of its own.
I ducking love my fuck (see what I did there ;P) He my little coding buddy, I gave him a little back story and everything.
This is Francis (although he insists its Frankie) He transpecied (a duck in a penguins body) so he always has a "short-man complex" little attitude all the time (unless its because he never gets a word in before I figure out the bug myself =S )
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When I'm on lunch I stop coding to watch other people code on youtube. Does anyone else have this problem?1
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this.post != rant
Just had my first job interview for backend dev position. Hopefully, it went well. Not that much technical questions but the interviewer sure did verified all the things I wrote on my cv. Good thing I included my side projects, that way we have a topic to talk about. Hope ill get the offer. Yaaaaas!!! -
any ios devs here?
i'm a fifteen year old dev collaborating with a friend and we made an app - in flutter. android we are planning on publishing, but on ios we can't afford to pay the $99 to publish. we can't even compile it on a hackintosh. if anyone is willing to compile our app and give us an ipa (or publish it), we would really appreciate it!!!2 -
Just got an email asking me to review an IDE called CodeLobsterIDE.
Has anybode ever heard of that?
I am sure they won't reply after I have sent them an estimate $$$ 😂2 -
I used to have problems installing rails on PC and it took me 2 weeks to figure out that I just needed to install Node.js... I want 2 weeks of my life back :/
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I'm starting to think that I could listen to some podcasts while I work, to learn things in the background.
Would you recommend good podcasts?
I'd like to listen to software dev good practices, or real life dev stories to learn from. Also videogame dev related would be good too.6 -
Today I have seen of @Microsoft, @linuxxx devrant profile.
How should I search devs profile in devrant? when I had entered dev name with @, mostly rants were came of that tag name.1 -
Is this just me every dev have this problem, while learning something new sometimes I loose track and learn something else completely without any intention of learning it.
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Im having a sort of dilema. I recently started taking freelance work for web developement (and design ack) and Im uncomfortable with the state of the industry. Ill explain: Say if I bid a client for a simple 1-3 page site w contact form (a new page, not migration) My suggestion is to use djangocms, django, or just static html/css/js (ie bootstrap), which produces clean, fairly secure, and fast sites. Of course I can throw a templated unoriginal wordpress site together in a few hours 2 days latest, so I offer that option as a sidenote on the bid, charging almost 2x more. For some reason I dont understand they choose the wp shitshow. I explain all the reasons that not the way to go( which I wont list, if u dont know, u never used it. google up) but they dont care abt the details, they rather pay more for shit job. OFC I reluctantly deliver what they want, but as a result my portfolio is full of unoriginal shit Im not happy showing off. I have a few sites Ive done on the side my prefered way, but they not deployed and sit in my github for all intents n purposes unviewable to potential clients.
I want to be proud of my portfolio, and it to be a representation of what Im capable of. BUT, I gotta eat, and work is better than no work.
There are so many "wordpress designers" oversaturaring the field and it lowering the overall standard of what we are capable of. I just begining my dev journey, but if I cant have a body of work Im proud of, theres no way I can see doing this the rest of my life, and that makes me really sad. My love of developing, coding, and IT/computers in general drove me to change careers from audio engineering to web development, and the fact that this fucking mr. potatoe head of a CMS is slowly turning that love into hate really pisses me off. So Im ending this !rant looking for hope.
Your thoughts?1 -
Had wanted to learn web dev from a long time (Im an android dev). Got to know about free code camp and started 3 days ago. Totally addicted to it. Anyone who wants to learn web dev must try it. Simply great work.
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f**king stupid google, go f**king eat s**t. We are using .dev for develop domain in our company, and all of a suddent we can’t access our dev sites anymore, WTF. Bulls**t!!!!9
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Just discovered a public API that support perpage parameter.
Immediately try 99999
And……… it works!
Getting everything in one go!
Good dev on the other side -
Just spent a lot of development hours today! Quite more than routine! Not even tired because had great sync with the partner dev! Cheers!
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New piece of code which should work perfectly and solve your problem but it is not working just because you forgot to remove an old piece of code you were trying to fix the same problem! Fuck my life!1
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This dude is a casual dev. You know it just by looking at the repo name. He probably likes other stuff like burning stupid people in the mind or throwing chairs. Casual dev..
https://github.com/nvbn/thefuck -
I love commitstrip comic. There are others like Dilbert, devhumor, turnoff etc. Some are not continued now like Programmers life, which was also good. Which are your favourite comics related to dev?5
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Hey guys i was thinking about learning web development, mainly to make web apps, I already know C# and C++, but web dev looks so much different, can you advice me some good resources to start ?9
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Quick JS tip
If you want to split a string into characters, you can use the ES6 spread operator
If you have
const name = 'react-dev'
You can just spread it like this:
const charsInName = [...name]5 -
!dev
For some reason, I have been feeling horrible lately. In class, even a slightest mistake makes me feel depressed, especially in Mathematics (which I am usually good at). For some reason, my emotions have been amplified by a factor of 100, and I don't know why.
Maybe because my love went back to France, and we won't be able to see each other for a while. I don't know. The only thing that's keeping me hanging is my code, philosophy, and my comrades.2 -
!dev
God, when will I be able to buy Rogue One on Google play movies. Fuck this is not available in your country. Fuck!8 -
Anyone sad/angry about Google discontinuing web hosting on Google Drive.
http://googleappsupdates.blogspot.com/...2 -
is there a way to save the rant's image to my phone? (android user here)
if not, #featureRequest @dfox 😀4 -
while(true) {
$us->me();
}
Damn it. I'm stuck on an infinite loop and can't get out. I'm starting to feel unmotivated on our first project as a team. No financial support from client. Disastrous planning phase. I really do want to drop this project. But I won't because of my dev friends, we started this together. Another thing that frustrates me, they don't know how to use Git. If there are changes on the system, we have to transfer it through flash drive. [ill teach them]. I don't wanna go to the point that this project becomes toxic. So frustrating. This too shall pass.
Does every start have to be this hard and frustrating? -
Irrational Programmer's Response to Problems - "I tried, if I couldn't find a solution to it, then it's impossible."
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Got rid of my win7, installing LinuxMint "Sarah" later 2nite.
Back to the good stuff. (even though I do like windows)4 -
!dev
How did you guys deal with graduation year stress? Seriously, how? Asking for myself because I'm not gonna risk eating pills or killing myself over sleep deprivation.4 -
I've been spending the last few days reorganizing css, js files, removing old code and rename directories. Yep its that kind of week at work...
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Any recommendations for a dev laptop?
Going to be using Visual Studio (yes, yes...) and all that other Microsofty goodness, so it needs to be Windows. Probably need to run a VM or 3 on it too, for legacy stuff.2 -
Any Web Dev or Design managers out there who interview candidates, should a front end developer have a Github for his portfolio or hosted on his own site? I'm torn.3
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Not dev related, assuming that here is a lot of people interested in history , philosophy, books I would like to ask for recommendations for:
YouTube channels or site related to history, books reviews/recommendations (dev and non-dev related), philosophy.
Thanks. :)6 -
first !rant
My touch keyboard on this phone cant keep up w/ how fast I feel I need to type, so everytime after I blindly hit post I have to go back in my message, fix typo, then post, just to notice another f*@&ing typo I missed and have to do it all again. I know I should just slow down and do right in the first place, but when I try I get like this little internal anxiety that makes me uncomfortable and forces me to go faster. Maybe too much coffee...1 -
Finally moved into New Position in a DEV Center, feels good to get more interesting requests and challenges :)
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I would like to ask for some advice, thanks for your time in advance.
I've made a few applications over the last few years that were at first side projects. Right now they are doing quite well but could do way better if I put all my time into them (currently working in a agency)
My parents are still in the 90s when it comes to the internet so they never get behind any of my projects or they just pass it off as fluff.
I've showed my Dad my Analytics and what not and because it's not money it's nothing to him.
Any advice on how I deal with parents still living in times before the modern internet & make them see my stuff for what it is?.
Thanks9 -
In my first Dev job, it was a startup and my employer(owner), didn't even had the passion and vision I had for the company
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The feeling when the access to a system you need the most for all your projects are being deprecated. Mhmmm my tears taste salty2
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> mfw a non-dev customer shows me an exception that is easy to reproduce to answer my sarcastic questions whether she got any problems with the application
> mfw no dev or PM ever thought of using the application like this1 -
!rant
I'm thinking about getting into Android dev soon, can anyone recommend a simple (if possible video) tutorial series to get started?
I will be watching 'TheNewBoston' but I'd be interested in your suggested sources.
Thanks2 -
The moment when you bring up something that's got quite some positive reviews from dev community (of course from the internet), and devs around you simply dismiss your idea of even trying...
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A quick question, is the numbers in the degree matters for working as dev? Student here. Big thanks ✌️7
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After how much dev experience you wrote your firs API ?
what are essential steps to write a small good api?12 -
today, in one of my main projects, I did a
"git add ."
left the office 6 hours later. it was still adding.
fml.... -
I added a class to our data classes that could be represented as a button in the dataview in the GUI instead of creating a proper UI for my problem
- It was quick
- I wasn't a full dev yet (more a student) and didn't want to learn how to create a GUI
- I saw it used in different places by more experienced devs even though I put a comment some time later to not use it because it breaks several concepts
- I get annoyed everytime I see it now ^^ -
Can we have a good quality headphone thread?
Using 20€ in-ears right now. Any good on ear wireless headphones, you can wear all day without your big ears hurting or too much sweating?9 -
For our internship requirement. We developed a web-app with inline Javascript and CSS. I know, it was only a matter of time for our senior dev to kill us. HAHAHAHA2
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What's the optimal dev to non-dev ratio at a workplace?
I switched from a 1:65-ish ratio to 1.5:2.5 ratio this year, and it was an improvement by all means. But I still feel so very alone, struggling with my many dev-related questions and really no one to discuss them with.
Under what ratio do you prefer to work? -
!dev
Sorry for the non-dev question, but does anyone know of any good emulators for PS4?
Help me plis, I wanna play horizon: zero dawn1 -
Designed and worked on a website with no help and no assistance from the "head programmer" since he was leaving.
He told me he could have done what I have done since "you programmed it in bootstraps"
(Check tag for response) -
Could any dev here explain how do u apply SVM to HOG features? I know what HOG features are but cannot for the life of me figure out how the hell to use them in an SVM -_-2
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