!dev
Got rejected by my best friend today any advice on how to get over her?

I read somewhere the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else

Rejected, like in you both were best friends, but actually you had a crush on her?

Stop being a friend in the first place and act like your true intentions.

eval(friend != girlFriend);

If you've taken the step to make a move you lose the ability to be friends. Just the way it works. Sure, she'll say "I just like you like a friend" or something along the lines but girls take a while to understand that a boyfriend isn't just (friends + sex) or friends++.
By the time they understand that they're already hittting the wall and quickly jump on some beta cuck's junk.

Either make sure you can live with the fact you are only going to be friends or cut contact.

@JacksOnF1re didn't have a crush on her at first but after knowing her well i fell for her

@rootshell thanks alot for the advice, honestly i valued her as a friend more than a significant other, also i didn't make a move she's the one who asked me if i liked her or not, guess I was just too obvious

@d4ng3r0u5 thanks for the advice but i don't really like having casual relationships, guess i will have to meet some new people lol

Update : i got rejected over chat but later she texted me to come meet up with her and i said yes

@Floydian will do meeting up with her in an hour

Pornhub and Jack are your friends :)

Write code. It always works for me.

I've never understood the whole "either friend or date" thing.

Most people are somewhere on various continuums for me (and vice versa). I've slept with girls who became good friends later, and the love of my life is above all my best friend. Many others are kind of in between vague acquaintances, flirty friends, maybe-lovers and half-soulmates.

Be honest, be confident. Tell her how you feel, and why you value the foundation you have with her now. Try to keep feelings of desperation or jealousy under control, showing those emotions won't help.

If there's a huge difference in how you feel about each other, it will hurt and be a bit awkward, but I think it's better to get that out in the open now rather than later.

If it doesn't go well, make sure YOU are the one to say: "I care deeply for you, and will always stand ready for you as your friend" instead of her — a friendship survives more easily if she doesn't feel like the one having to take pity.

Also, if you don't have other friends, yeah, you need to make some. Male, female, young, old, developer or not, doesn't matter. It's always good to have options for company to do things with.

Hackathons, sport climbing, maker spaces, lame office table tennis tournaments, say yes to everything.

Accept the reality man and move one. It just means that she's not for you.

@irene Being alien is just an illusion. E.g. it's not because you don't like superhero crap that you're weird. Same with music and other interests. You seem to have a great sense of humour, so you just need to find someone that understands it and vice versa. Just have fun X

@irene piece of high comes from many things - maybe alcohol, maybe code or some mellow song which puts my worries to rest.

@irene ...i hope all the best for you!

@irene humour: you'd be surprised how much people have rude humour. Look at standup comedians. You think they got there by retaining themselves? 8)

Meeting people: drinking and smoking helps. You've got to go outside though. They won't ring at your doorbell.

@IshYume Haven't particularly tested it myself so not sure of its validity as advice lol

@irene Yep, that's exactly what I mean. I've met a lot of people that way. Shouldn't be too hard if you like drinking 8) Pick a bar where you love the music for instance. Big chance the others like it as well. Or maybe are musicians.

I even met devs that way. Played a couple of chess games with one of em

Update 2 : we talked about it , I did a proper confession and we decided to take a break

Dude, world has 7 billion people. Move on, no one is so special to be the best of them all.

Just move on, you'll find plenty interesting people out there

@irene @Floydian yep, Jack Daniels.

@irene no prob, we ain't robots. Everybody has ups and downs. Just don't compare your worst moments to someone else's best moments 8)

Just had a job interview for a junior developer position btw. Went well, but the salary would be less than my previous job at a customer service :-(

@Floydian I'm not too young. I'm fucking 41. Still a junior developer though. At least I won't write crap in comments or documentation after writing mails and letters for 12 years 8)

@irene Do you mind if I join? Just kidding. Or maybe not 8) I have Belgian chocolate! 🍫

@IshYume Sorry for hijacking the thread. I feel for you man. I think everyone has been in this situation before. I suggest you follow the wise advise that was given here. Move on. Or wait till that funky love feeling passed away so you can contact her again. The latter being less advisable but not impossible.

@FunkDelegate it's alright man , it's nice to see my rant got some people together lol

@irene I've got a wife and 2 kids. I'm forced at only having friendship with women. Not having a choice makes it easy for me I guess. Still tend to fall in love sometimes though. I'm the loving type 💓

@irene More or less. Need to live with one of them 8)

@irene I meant women other than my wife. I tend to be faithful 8)

@irene No, I meant that with women other than my wife I can only have friendships. Men as well obviously as I'm straight.

In my home city there's a yearly festival that lasts 10 days. One year I had a big stack of notes with telephone numbers after the festival. All men 8) No friendship came from that, but I had a lot of fun 8)

@irene Was just a coincidence. Having fun with people and then "let's exchange phone numbers to have a drink later on", about 20 times 8) It wasn't always me who suggested it.

@irene Thing is, I used to go out a lot and I've met a lot of people in the process. And I wasn't much of a sexual predator. Horny as hell, but to shy to make a move. Made me drink like a fish to get less horny and less shy, but that didn't help much. The result was horny as hell, shy and drunk 8)

@irene Maybe it depends on the time of day? I guess it doesn't help that much when it's 11am.

You're a gay dev right? Have you tried a gay dev bar? 8) I've been in gay and les bars a couple of times and I didn't dislike it. Quite a relaxed atmosphere actually as people there feel they can be themselves.

@irene I knew it! There are no girls on the internet!

@irene I been lurking around these parts for a while too. I was just making a joke by making an reference to an old saying.

@irene Oh, you're a virtual tranny then. That's ok, I still won't discriminate you for that. Whatever turns you on mate 8)

Anyway, this might help you too: someone told me once you need 3 things to be happy, in a chemistry kinda way: sun, love and omega 3. You'll find omega 3 in fish or artificial supplements. But for the other 2 things you'll have to go outside ☀

@irene just love in general. Friends will do.

@irene I sincerely hope you will be so kind to accept my humble apologies. I didn't mean anything by saying "virtual" 8)

@irene you could try to meet with (one of) them outside work. You never know if it will give you a long lasting friendship. Sounds cheesy, but I assure you it's one of the greatest things that exist in our existence.

I suppose @IshYume can confirm this 8)