SkillsFucking fast golang backed rice as a service with cached hot Java beans Flawless rice.
Joined devRant on 5/15/2016
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Hey, how about we boost our dev team morale by giving them this cool project instead of these usual crud bullshit they deal everyday?
Nooo, let's pay some fucking amateur agency 5x they wage during 4 months to do it like a low IQ noob and expect them to maintain it later.
What would you choose:
- 35% raise + professional growth
- flexible hours with occasional home office but no professional growth
You know what really pisses me off?
Arrogant/Condescending people doing rookie mistakes.
If you are like that but delivers I suck it up and let it go, but if you don't? Lol... Be ready for the shitstorm.2
New hire commit:
Message: Visual update
Gitlab: Showing 27 changed files with 21628 additions and 12296 deletions
Do I kill him before or after teaching him?19
Every single dev I know that struggles with English struggles with coding.
Gonna keep taking samples throughout the years.19
Every fucking time I explain why we should do things according to X and instead of giving arguments I'm only presented with "that won't work here" ...
Every time we are on a hurry because we don't do X ...
Every time we are delayed because we don't do X ...
I get less and less motivated to be here...
Soon they won't hear me saying anything and will keep wondering why everything just melted after I left...3
I only have stories of dating affecting my code, relationships are so energy consuming... So much easier to be alone and deal with it.2
Yeah boss, lets study Scrum extensively so you can:
- Create variable length sprints
- User stories that are meaningless like 'fixes'
- Tasks that should be User Stories
- Duplicated tasks/stories that are on the fucking backlog already
- Cross sprints on projects
- No meetings at fucking all to determine who will do what
- Assign people on vacation to current sprints
The list goes on...
An when I point things like that out lets just look at the guy who spent 6 months studying this shit, taught you ( at least tried... ) as if he is saying nonsense while our projects get delayed and our code spaghettifies because we are always in a hurry for lack of time to plan anything :)2
Hiuahuuhaei we can't even coordinate a fucking simple web app and they wants us to use neural networks to identify super fucking hard stuff that is hard even for people to do by hand 😂😂😂😂2
Years sitting like a contortionist for hours... One evening sitting straight and I have a neck pain for two days already :)4
Just noticed my boss turned a nice and beautiful polymorphic code into a fucking hard to maintain switch case that now this mother fucker here has to maintain just because he probably thought it was too hard to understand.
I bet he finds it hard to fuck his wife in any way other than the one she needs to wear a strap on and tear his ass apart...2
After years of struggle with nvidia on Linux across several devices I built my first AMD only PC and I have only one thing in my mind...7
I suggested the other day that devs should not go to every meeting, actually I suggested they should be "sitting with headphones undisturbed" , everyone looked at me like this was absurd.
I wasn't running away from meetings because I suggested I should go to meetings to get requirements and such, instead of the whole team...
Am I missing something?7
I just noticed that I'm super fucking anxious about whatsapp and such when people take too long to answer.
Although I have to stop looking at my phone every fucking minute (not joking) , people taking 5+ hours to answer is ridiculous too.14
The company I work at acts on a field that I'm quite passionate about but what is frustrating me lately is the fact that people seem to acknowledge way more the programing skills of the leader of another non-dev team that has good ideas but isn't that well versed on the dark arts.
My company has 2 android apps, I recently discovered they made/paid 2 google play accounts for that...6
I always tried not to judge people based on their location of birth/live but damn, these motherfuckers at work are making it hard.1
3 fucking years already that I introduced fucking git in this company and people still fail to grasp the fucking basics... Wtf?
If you push a fucking change wait for the fucking message ... If a fucking fail message appears telling you to pull before pushing to remote, just don't ignore it... Wtf... I can tell it is the case just by looking at the message template, I don't even need to read the motherfucker...
And its not that they are stupid, those are smart motherfuckers we are talking about...28
Every time I have to deal with my boss code and lack of convention and everything that makes a clean code I just want to scream like a bitch and punch him in the face without minding breaking my own hand.11
OH MY FUCKING GOD MY FATHER NEVER SHUTS THE FUCK UUUUP ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!¡!!!!11
So we are completely burned out with this project that had a fucking generic contract and my boss never had the balls (and never will) to say no to the client's endless requests and changes...
We are about to deliver it once and for all and they complain about one thing that I have already agreed to my boss that we would not do...
We tell the client that it is the case...
They email everyone involved in the project with a high level of drama on it...
I ask my boss, who is on vacation, on directions as to "how" I should tell them the fuck off...
My boss answer: I'm making a script to solve this issue and to avoid further trouble with it...
Ooo you stupid motherfucker! Can't you see you only bring more trouble with that attitude?1
My female coworkers ranting about "how can their partners be so stupid" on "never buying what they where asked for".
I explain to them some actions they might be doing that if done to me has the same effect like :
- asking for something and then start a non stop conversation about something else...
They look at me with a "how can you men be so ridiculous" face and say something like that...
I answer: well, try not doing those things next time and see if it helps.
They are gonna ignore me and keep living their lives without realising that men and women are fucking different...
I realized some time ago that when people ask you to do something and it is too generic, if you keep pushing for an explanation they end up getting angry at you as if you are the stupid one.
So funny, I'm always doing it on meetings now and laughing inside :)4
My boss decides on new languages/frameworks almost each new project...
These are the number of different languages/frameworks we are at...
Sometimes it looks like he is trying to even out by 10 :)2
Oh, my boss never fails to amaze me...
Every fucking time he talks about changes to someone outside the team he says something like:
"we always gotta be prepared for breaks because it is always like that, you change something here and when you see you broke something there"
All in a manner that *tries* to bring tensions down.
And every time I explain to him why the fuck automated tests are important and wtf they do he always manage to understand it as a waste of time...
I'm never gonna give up, motherfucker.2
So I'm in charge of planning how the projects are gonna be dealt with from now on and today my boss just emailed a list of changes to another dev, with the following fuck ups:
- I'm not copied
- He already did most of it
- It doesn't even exists on our Trello board
- Obviously not thought out and unplanned Bullshits that might change once again...
I was so fucking pissed that I didn't have a reaction, I'm absolutely gonna talk to him tomorrow first thing...2
Fucking government shifting day light saving time by two weeks making me rely on my phone time zone auto-update and wake up one fucking hour earlier!
Way to go Monday...4