Most embarrassing and lucky moment on the first week of job.

Me and my best friend were selected in the same company as developers. I was having some trouble with my system. So I mailed the description to our support department. Pop up was displayed from our chat client and person on the other end happened to be a lady. She wanted me to share a team viewer link with click access. So I did it and within 2 minutes of efforts she solved it. I thanked her, closed the chat conversation and started installing few packages. Meanwhile, I was curious to see her as she was really nice throughout the conversation. So I opened LinkedIn, searched for her name and found her profile. I zoomed in her photo and she was a pretty chick. I didn't stop and found her on FB too, and quickly saw all her DPs. I just copied her profile URL and sent it to my friend ( the one that got selected with me ) and told him about my conversation with her. Then I asked my friend
"She's hot. Should I send her a friend request or have to find some more troubles in my pc and talk to her few more times ? :P "
He replied "Dude what are you wanting for ? "
Out of no where, a pop up showed up. It was the girl we were talking about. The exact message was

"You can now close your team viewer session, and we can talk over FB :)"

Embarrassing AF!

So a friend gifted me this for my birthday! Probably among the best gifts ever 😀

So this just happened:

Sarah = best friend (random name)

Sister: Hey, could you help, sarah's phone isn't recognized by her computer anymore.
Me: What phone/pc does she have?
Sister: iPhone/Windows.
Me: Has she checked the drivers?
Sister: *tells to check drivers, feedback:* yes, seems to be fine.
Me: *comes up with 1000 other suggestions*
Sister: *doesn't work every time*
Me: Is there any other information that might be useful in this case?
Sister: Well, she dropped her phone in the water earlier, the phone is hardly responding.
Me: THE WAT? AND YOU DIDN'T THINK THIS WOULD BE WORTH MENTIONING IN THE BEGINNING?!? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

They say a man's best friend is his dog.
But a developer's best friend is his log!

Me being a good collegue teaching my friend basic C++ for upcoming exam and trying my best not tore my friend apart.

Crime scene: university's library, today, 1PM.

Me: Create a new class, just type 'class' and hit TAB
Him: I'm trying to but it pastes some code
Me: That's the point of hitting TAB.. now that we are finished, include it in your main file, the one with main entry point
Him: I have no such thing
Me: Look for main function
Him: There's none, what is it called?
Me: ...main
Him: Yeah, what is it called?
Me: ..main, the name is main
Him: I get it, but what is it called?
Me: 'MAIN' FOR GODS SAKE, THE NAME IS 'MAIN' *points towards my code*..
Him: Oh, okay, I get it now
Me: Ok, let's compile
*Error pops on his screen*
Him: You know what, I don't think you can really program.. *closes laptop and walks away*.

FML

A friend of mine is heavily into java. Like seriously... programming teachers at our school ask him for help.
Everytime he gets drunk he starts saying the weirdest things like "DUDE what's your alpha value I can hardly see you".
He greets me with "What's up socket boy" and after throwing up he thinks about the best ways to sort the data. (his vomit)

Has anyone else had such experiences? I want to hear some funny stories! :D

Friend : This is our logo for the site you are building for us.

Me: Wtf!! This is just a picture with text on it, do you have copyright of this picture?

Friend : who cares, we found it on google and we liked it.

Me: It may create trouble later

Friend: nothing...Just us it, we don’t have $150 for logo design

Me:🧐

After few weeks

Friend: Hey best, we have problem with logo, there is this guy who keep emailing us about copyright, any advice

Me: you know the solution the $150

This rant is devoted to my study friends. You see, I never knew what it was to not have people making fun of you/bullying you until I started my study.

Elementary school + highschool was one big mess of bullying, being made fun of and hardly having any friends.

At highschool I decided I wanted to go into IT. Especially programming. Programming in particular because when I was programming, I, for once, was the one in control. The code listened to me and for that tiny moment I was god.

Never really had much friends though and when I told my parents I wanted to do an MBO study (application development), my mother warned me that although she and my dad supported me with whatever my decision would be, MBO level studies were rough because of the general mindset/atmosphere there.

I thought fuck it, I want to do programming because that seems awesome and maybe I'll even make some friends with the same interests!

Then study arrived. Met a few guys with similar interests and we started hanging out together.

And then it came back just like before. Two guys who loved bullying and I was still a quite easy target because I couldn't stand up for myself.

But, then something happened. I liked a girl, she was in the hallway and two of the bullies (there were about 4-5 in total) got up and started fucking around with me (about her) and I just sat there, not daring to do anything with tears in my eyes.

Then two of my classmates noticed it, quickly came to my desk and started pushing the guys away with 'back the fuck off, what the fuck has he done to you?!'. Then one of those guys (now still about my best friend) came to me to see if I was alright.

We started talking. Then at some point, another bully had a go at me. This would be the final time. He was about 2 meters tall (I was about 160cm or something) and stood there in the door opening with a very nasty smile saying all nasty stuff, trying to intimidate me and probably tried to make me feel like crap again.

Nice guy on my right asked me to step to the left. Gave that guy a huge fucking foot in his chest and he smacked onto the ground. Made a gentleman's sign like 'go ahead, sir!' while gesturing towards the door.

From that moment on the bullying stopped. Throughout my study, some other bad things happened but those guys were always there for me.

Although I've lost touch with most of the guys (they're on social media, I'm not really), we still meet up once in a while and have a lot of beers while talking and laughing and thinking back to the good times we had together.

The study wasn't the best for what we were taught as in studying but it's the best choice I've ever made nonetheless.

Oh and that best friend and I still have loads of contact!

Was over at a friend's place for the first time in months again to just have a few drinks and some good time with two of my best friends when I wanted to show them a website.

Had my own phone turned off (NO phone use while socializing for me!) so asked one of them (the one who's still finding his way around the concept of online privacy) for their phone so I could show it.

He uses loads of Google things so I started to look for the chrome icon. Swiping all ways but couldn't find it... then suddenly:

DuckDuckGo search/browser icon!

😵😯

Me: dude the what?! YOU using a more privacy conscious browser?!?!?!
Friend: well, Google doesn't need to know EVERYTHING I search for online so I looked if ddg had an app and voila!
Me: de damn! And, how do you like it?
Friend: the results are good so nothing to complain about!

I'm proud of you, mate!

I need to hide myself, my computer, programming skills and computer knowledge from people. Then only, I will be safe..

Friend: Heeey, you're good with computers right?

Me: No! 😑

Friend: Come-on bro. I know you are.

Me: What do you want?

Friend: I want you to check and book flights for me for country X.

Me: Are you ok? How does this have anything to do with someone being good with computers and stuff?

Friend: Haha, see? You're good with computers. *starts laughing. Anyway, since you're good, you can find the best prices. I know you know how to search sites and how to find things online.

Me: WTF?!?!!! All, you have to do is type in your search. If you don't like the results, you simply refine it.

Friend: See, all this tech stuff I'm not really good at it.

Me: But you're good at searching for other things online, right? Do the same for your flights.

*Picks my laptop and walks away.
How can a young man not be able to search for flights online but knows how to use several gadgets. Nonsense.

Was writing a first product for my best friend and my first company/startup. (that one is on hold now by the way).

Spent about a month doing a full-time internship and also programming after that the entire day. Weekends full of programming as well and after a few weeks I noticed that when turning around/walking quickly, I lost my balance.

Went to the doctor who immediately asked if I worked loads and loads to which I answered yes.

He took a look at my daily patterns in general and then told me that I was having a thing which you were only supposed to get at old age and that I was heading towards a burnout because my body was highly not used to/ready for this.

Continued for a little and people started asking why I looked so white (my face lost color) and unhealthy.

Started to take care of myself and voilà, within weeks I was getting better :)

This was a comment but deserves its own post

A friend of mine had to make a pacman AI for a course and was required to have a partner.

So he asked the laziest, never in class guy for his studentnumber.
For every assignment he put that guys name and number on it. And he gave decent partner reviews.

His AI was the best of the whole year. The professor asked him to the front of the college room (with every AI student there, except his "partner"). My friend then thanked his partner, "he wouldn't be there without him".
Every student there laughed their ass off since they all knew that he soloed it.
The professor had no clue

At the end of the year my friend made that guy complete 3 courses without him knowing

Friend: So you're like a Developer right? Specifically using JavaScript?

Me: I mean...kinda? Pretty Noobish still...

Friend: But you could like show a buddy of mine some basics right?

Me (thinking to myself...the best way to test your knowledge is to teach it...): well...sure...

Friend: Great here is their info!

*Drives an hour away*
*sits down with this friend of a friend*
*busts out laptop*

Friend of friend: So how long have you been a Java Developer?

Me: -_- oh fuck...

*head desk*

Best boss I have ever had?

He owned a car dealership and made me the first fulltime employed webdev in a car dealership in germany.

He believed in me and our mutual vision, and we had an awesome 7.5 years together. he gave me time to develop myself and to develop software and websites.

through my software and process optimization we were able to go from 300 sold cars per year to 3000 without hiring any more employees and without increasing workload and stress on the employees.

When I had my last day at his company, he didn't show up.
I was mad like hell, because we have spent so much time together, went to many countries together, even slept in the same hotel bed! I considered him pretty much a friend, even though he was my boss and 10 years older.

Much later he told me that he didn't show up on my last day because he didn't want to cry.

now we meet every 3 months and go out, eat and drink and just talk and laugh.

best guy ever, will never forget what he did for me.

Response time of different people on Whatsapp:

Best Friend: 5-10 sec
Friend: 1-2 min
Best Friend(Girl): 3-5 min
Girl Friend: 1-2 day 😢
Client(when me solving bug): 0.00005 sec

Client(when me asking payment): *Blocked*

😕😕😕😕😕

Goodbye to programmers best friend. He was the best dog, the best listener, a great pair programmer, and someone to keep my lap warm while I work. And more than all of that, even though he was a dog...he was my friend. Goodnight buddy. I hope I see you on the other side.

Friend found this at uni (Dave being the best computing lecturer).

Got my front end friend (also my irl best friend) to agree on me setting up a vm/vps on one of my dedi's with a sub domain so he can learn to work with servers.

He agreed on me leaving root access for myself in case he couldn't figure something out and I (a Linux server engineer myself) would have to help him out.

He seemed so excited, will set this up when I get home 😊

My friend: My laptop is not working. Can you please fix it?

Me: Ok. I will take a look at it.

*After 1 hours*

Me: I think your hard disk has failed.

My friend: Can't you fix it? You always spend day and night on your computer. So, I think you can fix it.

Me: Sorry. I can't.

*Next day I went to his home*

His brother to my friend: You said he is a genious. He can fix anything related to computer. He can't do anything. I will take it to a best repair shop in the area.

Me: *walks out of his home*

When I was studying OOP our teacher instructed us to submit a project at the end of semester. Me and my friend worked hard and enthusiastically and finished our first game in C++ (Ping Pong). We were very excited because we had put so much effort into it that we were 100% sure that our project will be the best among all. At the end of semester, turned out our teacher does not have much time to evaluate our projects, so instead he announced a motherfucking MCQ's quiz. Everyone got really really happy but I was thinking of multiple ways I could kill that bastard.

"Stop working from home. Fuck this. We do enough and don't get paid what we should. It is you and me for two campuses and you are far more knowledgeable and qualified than what they offered you at the beginning. I get that the benefits are killer but don't burn yourself out. I am not expecting you to work from home. Will not ask of it unless really is required and would much rather we have a few beers instead of getting together to finish bullshit deadlines...for 2 devs"

My current lead developer. He turned into my work best friend and he is really into the whole concept of "fuck it we ain't getting paid enough"

Dis b ma dude.

My best friend and long time crush just told me she got into a new relationship 😑

I'm here, reading rants to take my mind off sadness 😑

So my husband and best friend are arguing that I get upvotes just because I got boobs. Is it true?

Talking to Best Buy customer support live chat trying to price match using friend’s laptop.

Typed in “<b>Hello</b>”

Oh cool.. it comes out as bold. Let’s get a scary as fuck screamer gif and img src it.

Me: *Posts picture*
Me: *Waits a few seconds*

Me: “Did you see that picture?”
Support: “No. Sir, could you tell me the item you want to price match?”
Me: “Okay hold on.”

Typed in “<script type=‘text/javascript’>window.alert(‘OOGA BOOGA BITCH’);</script>”

Me: “Did you see that?”
Friend: “Dude stop.”

I push my friend away since I’m on his Best Buy account.

Me: “Did you see a pop up?”
Support: “No.”
Me: “Okay okay hold on.”

You have left the chat.

Been married for 14 years to a non-technical spouse. Biggest issue has been not able to properly vent about technical issues to my best friend. She still listens when I do even though I'm sure she doesn't understand. But, I love that she tries anyway.

My wife. She's also my best friend.

Back then, when we were just flirting, I helped her and her friends(they were all medicine students) with their programming courses which included sql and html. I guess that help led us the way we're here now.

I was in my computer class an then I saw my best friend editing the code in Ms Word. What should I say to him?

Friend: I bought a new phone.
Me: nice!
Friend: It's really fast coz it has 3gb ram!!
Me: okay... Other specs? Cpu? Camera?
Friend: 13 MEGAPIXELS!
Me: yeah but other specs?
Friend: doesn't matter! The photos are of 8mb!
Me: yeah. Best phone ever. 😑😓

My life partener and best friend is in the hospital with a heart attack. 😞

When you introduce your girlfriend to your Best friend and after some time they start dating each other and you are unaware of the situation but after sometime you get to know about their relationship , now you're really pissed and want to take revenge, then you remember that the girl's parents are strict af and you know that they won't tolerate that their daughter is in relationship
so, you tell her parents about her and
they decide to send her to a different school located in another city
The End

tl;dr
When two pointers are pointing to a same memory location then if any one of them deallocates the memory, the other pointer becomes a dangling pointer
:v

So making a website for my best friend who soon to be my girlfriend.. I sort of had this idea where I'm going to ask her out and the links are the letters that I wrote to her when we first met. Cheesy I know but give me your thoughts and opinion. #noobwork. About it. Or what should I add or take away.. kinda nervous.

Had this conversation with a friend a while ago (not dev related). He convinced me to start working on a design! (detail: he doesn't know me well, know him through a best friend but I consider him a friend)

Friend: *shows new tattoo* what ya think?
Me: awesome man! I still idk maybe want a tattoo too...
Friend: ohhh! What of?
Me: uhm well... my favourite music genre... uhm...
Friend: what's up with your doubts?
Me: well.... everyone always tells me not to tattoo anything relating to music because musical taste cab change easily...
Friend: may I guess the genre?
Me: yeah sure :)
Friend: hardstyle, maybe raw hardstyle/rawstyle?
Me: yup!
Friend: well why wouldn't you get a tattoo of it?!
Me: well, I mean what if my taste changes?
Friend: dude. do you have the slightest clue how fucking happy/energetic you look when you hear that music?! It'd be hard to imagine you losing your love for that genre! And if then, then what? That genre has gotten you through the darkest places, most difficult times and has pretty much made you into the person you are right now, even if you'd change factories genres, it'd be a reminder of how you beat getting bullied and became the person you are now!
Me: yeah.... but everyone keeps telling me that its not a good ide..'
Friend: fuck them. You love this music to the fucking point, you told me earlier that you'd like to start producing it!
Fuck those people. If you'd like it, go get that fucking tattoo!

I love that guy!

Anyone into electronic music production here? I could use some tips 😅

So im here with this lovely girl on my chest and all i can think of is why i got a Null Pointer exception and why in the fudge im lying here with this woman instead of fixing that.

Oh, maybe its because i spend 27 hours of the available 24 hours in a freakin day writing code whilst struggling to give her attention. She deserves this moment. She's my best Fragment...Friend, she's my best Friend.

My friend and boss，told me he would teach me code 2 years in a half ago.

I didnt know what css or html was and i used to call java javascript.

I can know create my own module with webpack， have my automated doc， use react， redux， he taught me linux， git，unit testing， databases，docker， and so on...

Im not an expert in any of it butbi know what they are for and can play with them more or less comfortably.

The best advice he ever gave me was:

“coding is not about coding. We are like the greath painters of history. They were great at painting but even more at creating. If you have no creativity， you can paint as well as you want， its worthless.”

Working at best buy (don't remember if I was geek squad yet or not).
"hi sir, that line hasn't moved in a while, I was headed up to help, but let me ring you up here so you can get on with your day."
"thanks!"
...random talking leads to graduation and what's next...
"my friend works at *company* and seems to really like it. I gave him my resume when he asked, but i guess is boss can't hire anymore people or something, so I'm applying other places. It's been about a year."
"oh. Hi. I'm boss. Send resume again"

Rest in Peace my friend he was my room mates for 2 years in univ and he decides to drop out to take care of his father parkinsons. He is not as lucky as his parents, He was gone missing for 16 hours after the tsunamis struck in Donggala, Sulawesi. and just found dead apparently because drowning and head blunt trauma. reports from her family, the last time they seen their son is before he gone to find his father's medicine (it's not easy since the hospital and drug store are not effective because the big earthquake). A big condolescence for his family. for all the victim in Sulawesi stay safe ! and we hope you all the best!

Worst client request.
Craziest client.
Worst accident.
Accident you thought were impossible in the dev world.
Story time, that one time where you f*cked up really bad.
Best boss.
Nicest client.
Most satisfying hobby project.
Best dev food.
Most helpful accident.
Your favorite project you had to trash, explain why.
Weirdest thing someone asked you to fix because you worked with computers.
Most memorable thing from devRant.
Best thing to happen to you because of devRant.

Its 6am and i feel productive, its not even my app got dammit.

Project you took too far.
Best/worst drunk coding experience.
Weirdest thing you ever ended up fixing because you know stuff about computers.
Worst setup you have seen someone have.
Worst treated hardware you have ever seen.
Best skill to have picked up because of your interest for development, but isnt completely dev related.
Best/worst choice in your carreer, what happened.
Sketchiest email a coworker, friend, boss or client sent.
That one accident that prevented you from using your computer or the internet.
Moment when you thought your dev environment would get a huge boost, but ended with a plot twist.
Worst disturbance while working.

If i come up with more ill either post again, or comment here. This was all i could get off the top of my head, believe it or not.

Edit, gotta add this one: Cable porn

TL;DR: a good friend recently finished building an electric car from scratch with a team and I bought him a C++ devDuck as a congratulations gift!

one of my best friends recently presented at my colleges capstone rollout, and his teams project was to literally BUILD AN ELECTRIC CAR FROM SCRATCH. all the circuits and everything, designed from scratch, and nobody else on the team was very good at software, so he pretty much wrote the software himself. I just ordered him a C++ devDuck as a congratulations gift!

"Im gonna buy an Titan V for gaming!"
-Le "Friend" of mine

me:
A Titan V is for research and AI Applications...

Le "Friend"
Ayy u stupid Titan V best card!!!11!

Fuck this shit im fucking out of here...

best friend works at a gym, and he always remind me to exercise.

him: bro when was the last time you workout?
me: every fucking day.
him: what?
me: I am a programmer bro, everyday is brain day.

When your university wifi is shit but you have your best friend with you

Thus far I've had little success trying to teach code to people I know.

But yesterday.....man

My best friend told me that he was serious about learning. He asked me about my recommendation would be. Against all odds, and after small demonstrations he asked to learn about Java.

I made some coffee and braced myself. Either the dude is a hidden genius or I am an amazing instructor, but he got the whole thing. I introduced him to the basics, oop, variables etc and he got it down in one session. He was able to understand errthing a do a little code along.

So proud.

Difference n°538592 between developers and regular people:

"Do you listen music at work ? If so what app do you use ?

- (regular people) I don't / I use Spotify/Youtube.

- (me) I usually listen to my personal webradio server (running with icecast+liquidsoap on a little ubuntu DO droplet). Currently has a few funny jingles made by a friend and +3000 tracks (this number grows with time as I listen to new stuff), all crate-digged by myself for myself. Basically the the best radio in the whole world <3"

TL;DR
A "friend" is a tech fraud. Faking his resume as a software engineer! Only interested on the salary. This is unfair to all of us putting the hours of effort/practice just to improve our craft! 😠😤

I have a "friend" who is faking his resume, putting fake experiences and putting jargons not even related to tech just to make himself smart. He's using his customer service rep experience to talk confidently. His resume fcking long, 3 pages of fakery. I can't help, but to laugh when he sent it to me.

He has a tech degree, but worked in a BPO industry for 4 years, then recently, he quit. He got jealous with the lucrative software development industry and he wants to relearn coding, as a friend and I like sharing my knowledge, I agreed to guide him in the process.

After 3 moths, he got his first job, but unfortunately he got fired after two weeks because he commited sensitive data to the remote repo.

Then after a month, he got his second job and worked there for 6 months, he still don't know what his doing and always ask me solutions when he is stuck.

He got his 3rd job, remote work with high compensation. Fast forward after 3 months, he only got 1 month of salary, the other 2 wasn't given for unknown reason, my best guess is the company noticed his experience on paper does not match on real life.

Currently, he's working on another remote work with same compensation as before, and he still asks me super simple questions from time to time.

This is so unfair to all the devs who truly deserves the opportunity.

Just discovered devrant via my best friend. New home!!!! <3

for 2019 I want to be the very best dev
that no one ever was
to code them all will be my test
debugging is my cause
I will travel across the net
searching wide on tor
each singleton to understand
the power of the code

devmons its you and me
you know its our destiny
devmons
you're my best friend
and our firewall will stand
Devmons!

Hello "friend", whom I haven't seen or talked to in years. How have you been? Please don't mind me, my life is boring as shit and nothing happened to me since. Yes, I'd gladly make an app for your company because you agreed to do it but apparently you lack the skills. Oh, you've been fucking around for a month doing nothing? That's sad but sure, I can do it by Sunday, I don't have plans for the weekend anyway. You say you can't pay me more than what I earn in six hours doing my day job? And your boss should think you did it all by yourself? Well, let me consider this cool little opportunity. I'll be in touch, talk to you "soon"!

So hey this is the first time I'm actually posting here... huh ... also

!rant

just sad.

So I broke up with my girlfriend a few hours ago. We had been together for 7.5 years, still have three months left on our lease. Not for any satisfying reason I could feel good about, just that what we want to do with our lives just doesn't seem compatible. She was my best friend, and I hope that I can keep at least some degree of that friendship eventually. I love her dearly, I just stopped loving her the way a lover should, if that makes sense. I feel kind of shitty but I know I will feel way worse tomorrow. Hopefully I won't be too hungover. Sorry for the downer. Okay that is all.

I was sad so i decided to visit the last place me and my best friend visited. Now I feel even more sad thinking about the times we had.

!rant

I met my old school friends today. One of them was apparently showing off his programming skills too much(let's call him X). So much that he(friend X) was comparing Linus Torvalds with himself. And he was telling us that Linux is best because there are so many DEs and customisations and blah blah.

So one of my other friend Y(who's not into computers much) asked him to install Ubuntu on his laptop while we were sitting in cafe.(Y wants to play with command line mainly this semester according to him) So he started complaining that he does not have ISO with him and trying to avoid it.

I said I have kubuntu iso he can flash it right away. Then he(X) said "Kubuntu is too complex for him(Y)".(me in mind : " yeah, just because its a. DE, it becomes complex") So I searched in my phone (faked the search, basically renamed kubuntu iso to Ubuntu iso lol) and gave him " Ubuntu " iso

And this "pro developer" installed that on his laptop and after installation was completed he said that "OMG DUUUDE UNITY IS DEAD, EVEN UBUNTU SWITCHED TO KDE AS DEFAULT DESKTOP ENVIRONMENT, ITS COOL".

FFS

No one is safe when I hit a wall... Not even my best friends.

When your friend tells you Windows ME was the best OS he's used...

Today I visited my best friend. His little son of 6yo also loves computers and technology.

I thought it would be fun to show him some old stuff, like a floppy disk 💾

I almost peed my pants laughing when he said: "Wow cool!! You 3D-printed a save button!!" 😂

So Im making my best friend (which is a girl) a website. I'm not a pro at it so please don't roast me. I am self taught and still learning. A few opinion and ideas would hurt ? K:

Encouraged a friend to quit his current job. He is mentally unstable now because of his employer. His jerk employer harasses him and blames him stuff he didn't do. Blames him pre-existing bugs/bad features/bad codes from three years ago! He just got employed by that jerk employer two months ago. I know how my friend works because he was once my team leader for 19 months. He works harder and is one of the best devs I've ever met. He doesn't deserve a dickhead employer and that dickhead employer DOES NOT deserve a talented(skillful) software engineer like my friend. If anything happens to my friend, a lot of people will be hunting him down.

since people sharing their rubber duck debuggers, this is mine

This rant goes to my best friend.

Fuck you!

You do not fucking argue with people for doing what they like! So what if I want to use linux? What fucking problem does that make? Am I now a hacker fanboy for wanting to use a terminal instead of fucking pointing and clicking on shit like a monkey? Am I not allowed to want my privacy and free open-source? What? I shouldn't browse internet without getting my personal info stolen? Oh, they're tracking criminals? Then why don't you install a camera in your fucking living room so you can help them out? And don't fucking get me started on why I don't want to use Windows 10.

Fuck fucking fuck fuck. I know he's a good friend but this fucking shit gets my blood boiling.

Best work prank?

Get a random friend to burst into my home office during a zoom call, wearing a ski mask, gun in hand, speak foreign language, and drag me out of the room. Have another masked friend go up the camera and threaten to kill me if my coworkers go to the police. Disappear for a week, then email my boss saying I need 100k or they’ll start killing my family members one by one, take the money, then go on vacation while I fill out job applications. Get a new job and repeat the prank every few months until I retire.

Sister of a friend of mine fucked up her Mac, her Dad, they called me to fix it.

Partition table is wrecked and her thesis is there, no backup.

Been working since yesterday, got to recover it. Recovered files.

Dad applies pressure, because she's leaving out of town today, I do my best but fucking SSD won't work, it says it's healthy but damn Mac says IO error, Disk Utility says exit code 8... oh, and her dad thinks it's easy, that Ive been delaying things and so on...

fuuuuuucking hell, I hate you

So we were out celebrating the 18th Birthday of a friend and the conversation drifted to mobile phones and some people were seriously asking why someone who can afford it doesn't choose an iPhone and why her brother chose the Google Pixel over the iPhone because apparently iPhones seem to be the best phones for these IT people

My best friend gave me these...

Just got this from a best friend, Yeah this is me

Go to Denver with a friend for an Iron Maiden concert. I try edibles for the first time, which of course means take way too much. Hallucinate that lead singer is an arm flailing inflatable tube Man. I have a pretty good time. Walk back to the motel at midnight and have to launch a client's website from stage to production on the slow Motel Wi-Fi. I'm ready to pass out at this point, but I got my laptop, and I got my VPN running. So I spend the next 6 hours moving the site from one server to another while occasionally passing out for 20 to 30 minutes at a time.

One of the best road trips of my life. Five stars would do again.

Reminder that you shouldn't trust head hunters.

I reached out to one a month or two back, because I knew they had worked with Company X in the past, and I figured they might get me a more direct line to HR.

They said company X wasn't hiring, that I should apply to Y and Z.

I started working at company X on Monday. They only wanted me to apply to Y and Z because those are the positions that recruiter was specifically trying to fill.

Recruiters are not your friend. They do not have your best interests at heart. They can be useful, but don't trust them.

Introducing my new best friend!
The start of a great collection of devDucks :D

!rant

Trust no one.
The internet is not your friend, until you find stackoverflow and you get down voted.
That rm -rf / won't make you server faster.
System32 is needed.
Yes, that is a package manager, you don't need to write more ccode
Do not write commets on languages that only you speak, the team does not speak in latin.
Paint is the best engineering tool.
Keep a stress ball nearby.
Your client is always right, unless they mess with your coding skills.

True story.

Christmas eve, no programming for once (tomorrow lots though). Just chilling with a best friend, having beers and fried stuff and watching family guy episodes. Not programming can be a bliss sometimes!

Sometimes coffee is your best friend and sometimes the only one.

First time in years that I've hugged my best friend. Felt weird and we got really confused looks from the others (class full of boys n shit), but we were so happy because we both got a really good grade on an important test!

Why isn't this a common things men do!? We should all hug more 🤗

he's my best friend.

Fuck, I'm too tired to rant about shit. Life is really starting to go better and I just...don't know what to rant about, so I've been quiet for the past couple months.

Uhhhhh, whenever I close my laptop the screen stays on and seeps through but I'm too lazy to actually mess with it to make it turn off when I close it?

I've been hanging out with my best friend again lately and she's the best fucking person ever?

OH WAIT, I'M BROKE, THERE'S SOMETHING (I've spent like 10 minutes typing, just trying to think of shit to say)! But I'm just bad with managing money and I get paid on Saturday anyways..

Guys. I don't know what to even rant about anymore. Life is finally going good enough that I don't feel the need to rant all the time.

Meet my new friend Bert.

Bert is nice. He is into football and he is a good listener. Guess we will become best friends ♥️

Best girl i've met.

I attended a CMS Conference last month(I don't use a CMS, i'm just interested with the topics about DevOps and UI/UX). I met this pretty lady ( I find her cute and awesome.) who's one of the speaker, she talked about design principles and applying it to BEM with SASS. After the talk, i asked her some questions about her dev't workflow like what tools she used and some best practices. Our conversation went well and exchange some of our knowledge and ideas also i introduced her to devrant (She's a wordpress user, i showed to her how the community hates WP, idk if she registered). After her talked we separated ways and ended seeing again after the conference as she's looking for a cab going to a mall (Same directions where i'm heading to), We talked again and decided to have dinner together. I felt like she's the best girl i met as she's into TV shows i like (Silicon Valley and Mr Robot). We added ourselves in FB and saying goodbye to each other. After a week or two, i just found out that she already into a relationship and it broke my heart.

I guess im back to the start, but i'm happy that i made a new friend.

!Rant

Ok... So I've just received 2 lots of 2u Dell PowerEdge 2950s , 6x2TB WD Greens, 6x assorted Seagate drives (misc size) .

Totally. Fucking. Free.

A friend at work use to self host, and doesn't need them anymore , I offered to buy but he wouldn't have it! Friends are the best!

"This pub is famous for its pork dishes. And I usually buy liquor from that stop, quality approved."

- one dev friend

// said "best advice"
// not "best dev advice"

When your best friend is also a lady dev, you get pretty awesome Christmas presents

!dev (when do I ever post a dev related story? I only post about my personal life really)

For about 2 years I had a very good friend, and I had a huge crush on her for most of those 2 years. All of my junior year of high school, she dated my best friend, then they broke up the summer after because he'd cheated on her around the time they got together and she had found out. I was there for both of them during the breakup (it was fucking exhausting). The thing is, I was there for the girl more because I had a crush on her, and I started to consider her my best friend rather than her ex.

She knew I had a crush on her for a long time. But she still spent about a year going to parties every weekend, getting fucking hammered, and hooking up with random guys, then proceeded to tell me about it after. I can't count how many times she had to cancel plans because she got hammered the night before.

But I had a huge crush on her, so I essentially put her up on a pedestal, thinking she could do no wrong. Then we hit a point where we didn't talk for a couple months because I hit a low point and she was uncomfortable with me because of it. Around April we started talking again, immediately back to being best friends but my feelings for her came and went for a while. She had a huge crush on our other friend that had a girlfriend at the time. Life went on, she actually ended up being my first kiss while she was drunk one night (I was sober cause I was driving), but I started talking to a different girl a few days before then, so I was very conflicted about everything there.

Then a few weeks ago came. A different friend got a Radeon 5700 XT and I went over to his house to check it out and everything. We ended up talking for a while, and the conversation turned to my whole friend group that I hung out with all the time (the girl being the center of the group). That friend was never very fond of her, and he always made that very clear. Basically he made me realize that she's not perfect, and that I'd been seeing her through rose-colored glasses.

I spent a week or so rethinking our whole friendship, and I realized that she is nowhere near fucking perfect. For example, she ALWAYS has to be the center of attention. If our friend group is focusing on someone else for whatever reason, she essentially throws a fit then gets really quiet to get attention. Also she can't take criticism at all, she always acts like a victim if you try to criticize her in any way. I also feel like every time I tried to better myself in some way, she ended up bringing me down and making me feel like my problems aren't important. She uses her kindness as a weapon, such as "How could you say that about me? I've been nothing but kind to you!" And the list just goes on.

So, about a week ago, I told her that I feel like she's a toxic person, and she does nothing but bring people down over time, because that's truly how I feel. And of course, she couldn't take the criticism, and said "I don't even know why you feel that, I've been nothing but nice to you".

I haven't talked to anyone in that friend group in one week now. And I feel a lot better mentally. Being friends with her felt like a chore. Only one person in that friend group has tried to talk to me, and that was today. Nobody else has texted me or anything since last Monday. And I honestly couldn't care less. I feel like a huge chapter of my life is over, like the depressing chapter in a book.

I don't know how to end this. I'm doing fairly well now, been hanging out with coworkers a bunch lately. Life's actually kinda good for once.

Programming with a best friend. Knocked out a project in no time. Just a friendly race between friends.

Soft rant...
So I'm working at the company for 8 months now. Best 8 months in my career, great team mates, great work, the best - a team leader who is one of the best developers I've ever worked with, but more importantly he is a good friend, brother like. We had great time, from the interview we understood there is a bro-mance there.

So why am I ranting? He got promoted and became a group leader, not even of my group. Now we don't have a TL and we're afraid they won't be able to get a swell guy like our exTL

This, my friend, is the best meme ever 😂😂

I work in big data and security analytics... So naturally I am a very detail oriented and analytical person.... Something that I constantly get told off about for 'over analysing' every personal situation.... Especially by my wife!

Today she was chatting to our best friend on WhatsApp who's been travelling Europe for 6 months seeing how life is etc... At the end of the conversation I point out he never once told her where he was and avoided the questions.... And that I was sure he was gonna turn up tonight....

She tells me I'm over analysing and full of it as she's in Spain.... Not even an hour later he walked through our front door and we are in the pub having an awesome catch up!

Who said I'm over analytical! More like right!?

Tl;dr: I do not care. Just read it or fuck off.

A friend of mine who is a paki classmate, as well, had applied for the same "Ausbildung" offer as me half a year ago.
The company is based in Germany, but is working in the US, France, UK, Turkey, China, [...], too.
After 2 interviews, they told us to contact us back within the next week. We have had our interviews on Sundays.
In the list of all candidates I was the second best. The top candidate was my classmate. The third best candidate was a guy who was involved in the last interview with both, me and my paki friend.
The candidates list was not shown to everyone else, but my paki friend.
They wanted to give him the job. [That is a big company who is creating a new dev team and expanding their IT building. Nonetheless they only accept only one candidate.]
My classmate had been given a letter that he had to sign within the same hour he was with the managers. He discussed it and said that he has other offers open and want to compare them first. They gave him a timespan of only 1 day afterwards to sign it.
He told me he is going to decline it and he did.
Normally, I should have been the person who gets the letter to sign to be accepted for the job, but no.
After letting me wait for almost 2 weeks, they sent me an mail (they usually sent ordinary letters to invite me to interviews lol) in which they said that I am unfortunately not taken for the job yada yada yada and that they wish me luck for my future.
Fuck yourselves. How about that?
I was the second best candidate. The best candidate did not want the job yet you fucking morons do this type of shit. You want the best for me?
I want the worse for you. Death to both of you managers who sucked all of my energy, patience and time.
I am really fucking pissed rn

A man's best friend is a Martini when you realize the college semester begins again at your birthday, and you're turning 29 that month with a year left before graduation. Fuck college. FML.

Yes, I'm writing this after having 3 martinis. My code can't pawsibbly go wrong tonight. Being a little tipsy is awwwwweeesome. :D

Friend : hey! I wanna buy a laptop.. range is about entry level nothing hi fi! But it should work for 3-4 years.

Me : sure.. give me a few hours..i'll get back.

*Looks all around foe the best thing in that price range.

*Sends a list of laptops ranked based on value for money.

Friend : bought it! Yay! 😎😎😎

*Buys the shittiest laptop they could find at that price range with an absolute old age processor.

Why the fuck did you even ask me at the first place? Fucked couple of hours for me.

Age++;
I'm gonna flex and tell that I've got a new Switch. My family and friends are really the best.

Thanks to them I also got to know that thief that stole my original Switch is named Stephan.

So I also want to thank you, Stephan, you thieving fuck. I hope you'll have fun with my console. I know that the police won't do shit since you are living in different country, so you can feel safe.

I've lost most of my games along with the console, cause I'm an idiot, but if anyone want to add me to their friend list here's my code:

SW-4095-0455-2232

Starting to get really pissed off with the hierarchy in my department that my manager keeps insisting ‘doesn’t exist’ but it clearly does when the other team manager is her best friend, to the point where they go on holiday together, go to each others family parties, etc.

Manager goes on holiday for two weeks and other TL gets on her high fucking horse lording over my team and uninviting me from meetings that she thinks I ‘don’t need to be in’ when the majority of the project is mine..

But my manager hasn’t appointed a deputy.....

Installs Ubuntu 16.04
Try to put my favorite software installed.
Reboot failed, drops to BusyBox shell.
Me thinking : I fucked up.
Friend walks by, couldn't read shit.
Friend: Look at his kid, he's trying to hack into someone's computer.
Me: (Agrees just for reputation) Yeah, damn teachers been giving me bad grades.
Friend: Could you help me too?
Me: (Don't have hacking experience, making shit up) NO, because your not my best friend. And school security is hard to crack.

Got away safely

Procastinator's tricks to be productive: Schedule messages

I hate to write people. They could answer. My whole plan might be thrown off. But when is the best time to answer them? The day after tomorrow? Too late. Tomorrow. Around 10? Thank you to all messengers that allow me to schedule a message. Instead of procrastinating, I answer, I schedule, and if I am in a bad mood, I later come back and abort and rewrite the message nicer.

Went perfectly swimmingly with my happy new year messages. Everyone got them at 00:00. Yes my friend, you're obviously the most important thing in my life, first thing I did was writing you!

Protip: This can happen even if the socket is locked, apparently.

One of those days...

Non Technical Friend - Bro Apple is the shit!! I'm getting a Macbook.
Me - How's it better than other laptops for you?
Friends - It looks the best .. It's Apple bro!
💢
.. Ok. Enjoy 😐

My friend may have just found the best thing ever.

Best quote from a friend and class mate:
"In the bed, I'm open-source"

Viruses are windows best friend

Best text I sent to my friend:

NOW, I MEAN TOMMOROW, YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING HELP ME BEING A RUBBER DUCK TO KILL THIS FUCKING BUG

Wondering how anyone uncoder would take this

Friend: i have an idea
Me: what is it?
Friend: uber is not yet here, lets do the app exactly like uber only for the city, can you do that like in one month?
Me: uber is a billion dollar company with several and the best engineers in the world
Friend: so what, just copy the exact same idea, of course the money comes when the app is done
Me: sure... ill call you in a month. (delete conversation)

I got my best friend today. Check it out.
I hope he stays loyal to me.

These days are the best days of my life, up till now.

My best friend said yes to my proposal, I got a job at my dream company with higher payment, and no issue at all after my uat like last month.

I hope my codes doesn't ruined my day 😂😂😂

"I really like how corporate America ruins you as a person within two years. If you had any aspirations to do anything useful for humanity, they gone."

-Text from my best friend from graduate school

Not myself but friend of mine. Early 2000s working at a large university. Top notch office PCs for the time, best internet connection in the country.

He discovers this "Bittorrent" program. Meh, just another file sharing thing... but who cares, it's 2003-ish so everyone downloads shit from the internet.

Installs it on his office PC, because its university so no one cares.

Friday afternoon, he starts download of his favourite music album (some hard to get live version or something), then goes off into the weekend, computer is left running as always.

Download is finished after an hour or so, then his Bittorrent client starts seeding. Lots of people want this album. Bittorrent adapts to bandwith and when your connection is good you get upvoted in the network and everyone is connecting to you.

Monday comes, my friend arrives back at his desk, bit late because he slept in and its university so no one cares.

Suddenly realises many missed calls on his desk phone. Calls back, it's from the IT department.

Friend: "You have called me? What can I do for you?"
IT Guy (screaming): "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??? YOUR PC IS CAUSING 50% OF THE UNIVERSITY'S INTERNET TRAFFIC.!!!!"
Friend: "Whops."
IT Guy (hysterical): "WHATEVER YOU ARE RUNNING STOP IT NOW!!!!"

Friend: *stops Bittorrend client, enjoys his favourite album*

Lucky him, it's a university, so in the end no one cared.

!rant

Today is a happy day.

I just got a job to finance my last year of studies as a frontend dev for two months this summer.

I'll be working as an intern and won't get paid much, but it's still tremendously more than I would've ever made with any other shitty student job.

Best thing is that my best friend works at the same company and we'll be seated next to each other (he also convinced the HR to invite me to the interview, woul've been rejected right away without him).

So basically I am a lucky bastard and they even told me that if I'm doing well they wouldn't hesitate to hire me after my studies if I'd still be interested in a year ❤️

What I'm missing most as a student is to work in front of a computer 8 hours a day. This will be a welcome change and a nice addition to my CV.

Wish me luck! Starting right after my final exams on the 16th 😎

Fuck. I'm fucking alive. The past month or so has been hectic. I've mainly been working, sleeping, or at school (not like I've showed up much lately anyways, maybe 12 days or so since the middle of February).

!dev

I'm fucking tired.

Bought an FX 8350 with the Wraith cooler for my desktop, got it for $70 when normally it's about $140 or so. Gonna replace the PSU and case when I get paid on Saturday, cause I don't have to pay anything with this check, so it's all to myself. Cut myself putting a heatsink back on my motherboard, still hurts 3 days later.

My "best friend" is still not talking to me. But she's been talking ABOUT me. Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now. I'm done with the whole situation with her. It's just her crying over every little thing.

My rants tend to be about my personal life, and this one is no exception. I just have a lot of shit going on and I need to get it out sometimes.

@SUKMIKEHOK! !! !!

KNOW THIS

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL ONLY WHEN YOU FOCUS ON THE RIGHT PEOPLE

THIS IS YOUR MENTALLY HEALTHY SELF FROM THE FUTURE

LISTEN TO ME

I KNOW WHAT I AM SAYING IN THIS POINT OF TIME

FOCUS. ON. THE. RIGHT. PEOPLE.

YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THE ABSTRACT MEANING OF MY MESSAGE.

I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST IN YOUR CURRENT NOW.

STAY STRONG MY FRIEND YOU WILL GET THROUGH ALL OF THIS BULLSHIT.

SEE YOU IN THE FUTURE.

GOOD LUCK MY FRIEND.

so I left uni after my PhD and joined a start up where the boss is a Cambridge grad who does coding and is like 50 years old (he never told us the true value), the CTO is very talented and another dev who quickly became my best friend and me doing data science. the 4 of us worked together like friends and the efficiency was fantastic, there's no bureaucracy bullshit or shit boss talks. We built the whole thing from scratch (okay I admit they did most of the building) and to this day, we work just has we have been.

Year: 2006

Dad bought a 2nd hand computer from his office.

Configurations:
OS: Windows 98
RAM: 256MB
HDD: *Forgot*
15" CRT Monitor
Floppy Disk Drive

And the best moment of joy was when my then best friend who had 2 PCs with one of them was the best configured system of that era with wireless mouse and keyboard (wireless was extremely costly and rare then), comes to my house with a PC Game (WWE some year) and tells me that this game only works in 98.
Also, one of the most Proud moment I ever felt for my computer.

I've heard various hilarious pronounciations of the word "Guice" but today was the best.

My friend called it "Goose" modules and I burst out laughing!

Our relationship is like a diode, you take and never give (I demand sex as compensation).

Btw, I really used this but with simpler words with two girls who wanted a ride to go and have fun with other boys in the clubs...

My best friend gave them a ride for over a year.
When we denied more, they started calling me... Wonder why.

Took them one time, asked for gás money.
Only called me one-month later, didn't ask for gás but said I wanted some snug and fun in return... OK, you can have us both (OH YEAH!!!).
On the club, they go for the muscular guys, leaving me alone.
When I got tired, got to one of them and said, ask your friend a ride home because I'm going now. (they ran for my ride since the guys they picked were all pricks and would probably dump them somewhere).
Never called me again...
Told what I did to my best friend, next time they called he demanded sex for both of us, never called him again.
And that's how you fuck opportunistic people. Fuck them.

hey, i have been there for some time now, love you all and this wonderful community.

You guys gave me so much fun during my long coding night, between two hot chocolate ;)

Finally got my devduck, obviously my productivity will increase by 150% now !

I'm planning to offer the second to my best friend for Christmas, any idea of a fun way to do it ? :)

Some days ago a friend told me about this good site to by the new .app domains, bigdaddy.com.
So I wanted to look for a domain and ooops, thats gay porn 😮
I confused names with godaddy.com. Maybe a lecture at uni is not the best place to open this site 😅

1. Plan your work
2. Plan new skills to learn every year
3. Stackoverflow is your best friend
4. Don't be afraid to ask stupid questions...
5. ... but make sure not to ask too many of them
6. Don't get burned on one single topic, find other projects to work in parallel or even better work on side projects in your spare time

Fucking kill me. I've just agreed to make a shitty fucking app that would be better as a Webpage, using shitty fucking technologies I don't understand, to do a thing that would be better handled by a third party.
You know why? The guy who asked me to do it is a good friend, and I'm the "best (only) code monkey" he knows. FUCK MY LIFE.

At least I'm getting payed

Goodness. Looking at the wk80 rants, I wonder how people's printers are breaking so often. 😮

Mine hasn't misbehaved in years.

Arguing with my friend what language is best for his program.
Suddenly he says "C++ is good but CodeBlocks is too hard and illogical".
I love wannabe tech guys.

Found that my best friend (developer) is going to join the company where my wife (PM) currently in

Things gonna be interesting

The best way to get an interview call is through referrals.

Recruiters are lazy. They don't want to sift through resumes coming from sites like LinkedIn. Referrals are usually better quality.

I'm not saying this. My recruiter friend is.

Dev friend: Happy in your job?
- Me: Kinda, don't see myself doing it for another 35 years tho.. :(
Dev friend: Go back to school, learn computer sciences and get a dev job. You'll love it.

So now I'm back in school, no regrets whatsoever. Without a doubt best advice.. :)

devRant procrastinators new best friend :-/

So I recently returned from university and was catching up with people. Then this guy(childhood friend) who is in EE was "asking" me about how my academics were going. So I was describing my cs classes to him until he suddenly interrupted me saying he knows "how algorithms work" and also that IT == CS. I tried my best to explain to him that it is not the same thing, but his ego just couldn't allow me to talk. He continued on forcefully about how he did a project in java that used SQL and blahblahblah. After he was done exhibiting himself, he asked me what languages do you know(LOL)? When I tried to explain to him that cs is not about learning languages, the guy proceeded to interrupt me again and tell me how his curriculum is hard so as to imply that mine is shit. Finally, this human waste told me to "open java" so that he could code, I opened up my terminal, which he responded to by asking me "What is that?"

Google is your best friend.

I'd like to give a shoutout to the best tool I ever had when I worked in hardware and had to troubleshoot ethernet. The "RLFLTWKW". (The Really Long Fly Lead That We Know Works)

My friend that I worked with long ago just dug it out of a drawer and sent me a photo so we could remember the days when trying to figure out why Mavis couldn't get on the network anymore could be resolved by our faithful friend "TRLFLTWKW". I miss you buddy. You made life so much better.

I wish I had an equivalent to you for coding.

Today is the first day of the last year of my bachelor's degree.
It's also the first day of work for one of my closest friends.
I wish him the best for this new adventure.

Good luck my friend and have a nice day !

let gfInput = '';
try {
gfInput = getInput('Will you marry me? ')
if(gfInput == 'Y'){
// KISS HER
}else{
throw {msg: 'she dumped you.', code: 'red'}
}
} catch( err ) {
//if err.code !== red . just cry but if red... uh oh
if(err.code == 'red'){
// GOTTA DO SOME DAMAGE
let msg = {
sender: 'anonymous',
recipients : ['dad', 'mom', 'brother', 'sister', 'uncle'],
messageBody: '****ntha has been fucking some dude...'
}

sendText(msg);
}
} finally{
// send ****ntha a good bye message
var msg = {
sender: 'pk359',
recipients: ['****ntha'],
messageBody: 'I invite you ****ntha to my wedding with your best friend *licia. PEACE, bit*h'
}
sendText(msg)
}

Json beautifier...you're my best friend.

a friend of mine and me developed a mmorpg years ago on friday nights and we were learning a lot of sql on the way. for a tidy nested query that sped everything massively up i got a sudden kiss on the cheek at 5am. best reward ever.

Just introduced my best friend to devRant! Immediately enthusiastic! Welcome on board mate :). @CoffeeAllDay !

!dev

Just wanna share yesterday nights story because I really really enjoyed it..

Have been to Galway with a friend.
Went to the pubs and 2 Irish girls tried to speak French - just for fun. A French guy wanted to flirt with them and said: “you British girls are so cute when you try to talk French.”
The girl completely freaked out and screamed at him: “ DONT YOU FUCKING DARE TO CALL AS BRITISH..” and the second girl started singing in the middle of all the people: “Come out ya Black and Tans, come out and fight us like a man”..

Ended with those girls trying to stop other Irish guys from beating up that French guy.

Few pubs later at 2:30am walking to the car (driver didn’t drink) when the “irish Jesus” (YouTuber) walks by and asks us if we have “something”, he really needs to get stoned 😂

Best night ever..

No offense to the British here, I assume you’re familiar with your shared history;)

This is a personal rant, not a devRant. BUT ITS STILL A FUCKING RANT.

Anyways, I don't have a lot of friends. In fact, only one. That one friend used to pull of his moods on me, and I was more or less okay with that. When he was in a bad mood, I didn't annoy him too much. However, I expect the same from him.

Today he really triggered me badly, and at some point he knew he should just leave me alone. We were in a LoL lobby, and went into the Discord where I could hear how he is dragging me down, saying I'm an asshole etc. As a result of that, I left the lobby, and heard him say more bullshit. Then he talked about how he left at another server, since they were assholes and excluded them.

At was at that point were they deafed me. Meaning, I couldn't hear nor what they were saying or speak for myself. What is this bullshit? I mean, if your fucking best friend does this shit to you, how can you have faith or trust anybody else? It's just really fucked up, and fucking bullshit, and like the only place where I can vent off is here.

What a fucking piece of shit. And I keep forgiving him.

On New Year's Eve a few years back I was around 21/22 and my friends were anywhere between 20/25.

My best friend has a big house so he offered to host it there (as every year pretty much), so we all agreed to do dinner and party after.

We decided to go with barbecue, and we all brought a few things.

Without my knowledge, they are all pretty much gamers and also decided to bring their laptops and even towers to play during the whole day and night.

The result was me "alone" cooking with the dad of a female friend (whose wife died a few years back and offered to help since he would be pretty much alone or with some other family members, not sure).

Once we finished cooking and went on to calling them, no one came to eat because "they were finishing just one more game", and eventually the dad yelled at them and left, I just went eating by myself, and they all showed up a few minutes later looking like 5 year olds when dads scream at them.

I can pretty much say that was the weirdest thing ever, but they did learn because never again they did the same!

This damt "light theme" is the most ugliest thing anyone ever developed...
and my best friend loves it!
Now he was my best friend

I might have asked this before, but since everyone on devRant except me is familiar with Git, please help me out a bit.
1. Should I use Git for a personal (game) project with a friend? (We'll work together via skype since we live far away from each other)
2. Noobs call Git "too difficult" - it seems difficult to me as well, what's your best advice (or resources, Git alternatives) to pick it up easily?
3. Will I have trouble with my slow internet (4mbps down 0.2mbps up)?

so, me and my best friend started playing pen and paper and after a wile we decided to create our own system. After a year of improving and testing we thaugth about a new java side project and more improvements for our system. time goes by and now we have three java apps for our own pen and paper and a lot of reusabilly code.

Playing and planing a new session of p&p is now so comfortable and fast 🤗

Put everything on paper, especially if money is involved.

Did a few freelance gigs that ended in big disputes. For example, people that think you make a website from scratch in less than 2-3 hours and accuse me of charging too many hours.

Best one was a "friend" who asked me to build a site, after more than 6 months of making "changes" that were actually updates without seeing a dime. I gave him his last chance and terminated the host. Still holding the domain name :)

Thx to a close friend :)

His mom is currently "bored" after she came to germany recently (getting too old to live alone)

Kartoschka, Oreschki, Pelmeni, Wareniki, Beljaschi, Bliny....

I got a ton of food and beer.

I'm in heaven. That's the best that has happened in the last months.

Have you ever encountered a situation like this before?

You worked in a team, made many adjustments in the codebase, and all the changes you've made are the best practice (after some research or asking the community).

But the team leader decided to go with the "messy" version of the code and the team leader does adjust the principle of "bad code" in favour of your coworker, just because he/she is a friend of the team leader.

So, whatever you adjust or contribute is simply nullified but any adjustments made by your coworker are considered "new updates".

!rant

I trolled my friend by telling him that there's a 100 MB data transfer restriction on Windows right now because of the Ransomware that's floating around the internet.

I can't believe it worked and now he thinks he couldn't copy anime or games from me because it exceeds 100mb file size.

What's your best troll moments to people who're not computer techies?

In october my best (female) friend will become my PM. I don't know if this was a good idear.

!rant

Me and one of my best friends joke way too much about being in a relationship that when he said that we should get married I legit spaced out and started to think how would that even work because he lives in Mexico and I live in the U.S. then i wondered how our work schedule would be and who would hog his gaming pc the most

We are both dudes and we are not gay. But you know man...if you are nor gay for your best friend...are you even best friends?

After I finished my probation of 3 months, which was also almost 3 months ago I noticed that Im doing better than half of the team so I asked my manager for a raise of 43 percent. Was given the green light but havent actually received the raise and was being fed excuses and promises . Started applying, got a better offer and gave my notice today. Suddenly hes shitting bricks and wants to talk with me tomorrow and asks me not to accept that offer yet. I smell a counter offer. Fucking lazy cunt couldnt move his ass for 3 months now all of a sudden hes my best friend. Seriously this sounds like a cliche but its surreal to see a respected person do this stuff, I guess all of the managers are the same even if they seem different in the start?

Best part is that Im not even a big contributor or even own some big features in that company. Ive been here 6 months only. He says he sees potential but tbh Im just a regular guy who crunches tasks and asks questions. I come in to the office only twice or three times a month. Seriously idk what he sees in me. Anyways.

One of the best times I had coding was when my friend and I were coding our very first program at University. Both of us had no prior experience with coding and really had nothing to do besides school. So we naturally became friends through coding.

Sometimes just thinking about those sorts of memories can take a great deal of stress of your shoulders, because one can think back to a simpler time.

My best Fking friend thinks that iPhones and Windows phones are the best phones for hacking.. (cctv, websites and all those shit)...HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITH THEM ?!?!

I never knew stackoverflow would be my new best friend, obviously after Google. 😅

The team leader call us for a serious meeting, and he wants it to be productive,

Leader: "we shall not procrastinate anymore. We don't have time left. We should not just talk random bullshit like we did the last few times. Aight?"

We all agree to be productive.

We also set a few main subjects and decision to be discussed. Then, we all get into the meeting room seriously. In a meeting, we try the idea of the upcoming project. But we suddenly went off topic. Then, My friend talk about L4D2. Then we start playing. And, I say, why not try some GTA5? I proudly reboot my expensive laptop from Ubuntu to Windows and playing GTA. Then, we start spotify and talk about song.

We laid in the sofa and talk sexually. My friend introduce me his favorite AV and we compare our manhood's size.

It was 4am already. One by one the attendee fall asleep.

It is lIke... the survival gamr of sleepiness? xD

Only my best boy friend and I were left awake, talking about ourselves, watching the beautiful midnight city.

Then, 2 of us ourselves start to talk about project idea. It is something cool and crazy to think about, like a friend making app. The 3 hours of brainstorming is gay and romantic.

"Okay, so we have the outline. let's sleep, baby" So we sleep till the noon. We wake up. Some left. Some were still sleeping. The birds twitter in the bequtiful skyline.
I did not forget to upload my idea to discord after going home in the morning. End of the meeting. Barely any goal was met in the meeting.

Those days, we make attempt of productive meeting again and again but end up procrastinating everyday. We had meeting in a small bedroom and it was our meeting room. We played different songs, tasted different wines.

And, finally one day, my friend say "I feel that it is much productive to work alone in a separate room. So we won't get distracted by each other."
Another friend: "yea..I know it is harsh... but yea... true... let's work alone"

I almost eant to cry. But we cannot indulge ourselves in the moments of dreamy romance.

We should start real work and don't be gay.

Thought function keys were man's best friend. Now no more

Initial opinion: Visual Studio is the best IDE, hands down.
Tell friend to install it
"Runs like s**t"
Troubleshooting...
Final opinion: Visual Studio is the best IDE... If you have at least 8GB of RAM and an SSD.

Was discussing phones with a friend.
After a while, I said I use a Nexus 5X as my main driver with a Nokia 3310 (which I have for like 10 years already, they are that Finlay proof lmao) as an emergency backup.
So he said: "best backup ever, and if you have robbers, you throw it. Don't bring a gun to a Nokia 3310 fight"

When I was challenged by my teacher to develop an application for a Solid Mechanics class at university. I developed a dedicated calculator which returned all the results of a given problem, one of which had a graph! I made it with MIT App Inventor and later on took it to Android Studio with a friend of mine.
Best feeling I had at that time!

Tell me honestly, Do your feel gender discrimination vibe at your workplace? I've been seeing so much tweets about female developer being insulted/made fun of/ whatever you call discrimination.
For me it's really good to see them writing codes. One of the girl I was friend with on Facebook was really good at solving problems. She gave me some of best ideas. I need an honest answer guys ?

My previous boss. He is a very cool guy. He treat us lunch and dinner sometimes. We always have a conversation topic like existentialism and being in a subconscious state of mind, because most people I met is just very basic. He also owns an office where we are all working in. we watch porn together at night, gossip about hot girls nearby the office area and curse a lot. I love laid back person like him. Also he's humble as fuck.

16 hours. my friend and i developed a game years ago, so we met every friday at 5pm after regular work. on saturday at 9 i went to the bakery to bring breakfast for my girlfriend. best three years of my life.

So. Me and Henry had a long night he is just like my best friend... i love that he doesnt question my decisions😂😂😂😂

My new best friend. 😴

friend : bro which phone may I buy?
me : mi / honor

next day
f : bro are you sure?
m : yup pretty sure ,in your budget this 2 are best phone

after 3-4 day
*call*
f : bro I buy phone.
m : congo , which pne ?
f : oppo f9

o(╥﹏╥)o

Best boss ever. He gave me light working hours, i could ask for a day off whenever i wanted or leave early if i needed to. Never felt like a slave working for him and always felt respected and valued. Taught me basically most of what i know today and introduced me to some awesome games. Never bored me with formal speech. Come to think of it hes more of a friend. If the company was doing a bit better financially i would never had left. Obviously i dont expect to ever have a boss as good as him in the years to come.

when you realize your best friend is actually the person who has been roasting you on discord the last 3 years

#non-IT

I proposed to my best friend like last month. Until now she gives no answer.

I love her so much that it sickens me now. Silences are killing me.

Do not disturb is your best friend. Never forget about it!

Schedule an impromptu meeting with my friend Jack Daniels.

Joking.

Best thing I do is write down the issue on a piece of paper, read what I'm stuck on and realise I have been focusing on the wrong aspect of the issue and a different solution presents itself.

Take a step back, clear your mind and start again.

If not, then remember Jack is available after work.

How hard is it to make a custom steno-lithography API? And do I even need one?

Hi, all. My name is J.A and I am co-owner of 3DPrintedDreams with my best friend. (We are both 17.)

During a brainstorm of what should be the flagship feature of our shop should be. We decided to take user images, (exact specifications TBD), and then use an API to transform them into .stl files so my friend can print it on his 3D Printer.

I am asking how hard or "easy" would it be to make such an API and what would be the bottom dollar if I were to make a collab post here about it? If anyone would be willing to listen, I could explain how all this would work in relation to the full stack of my website.

p.s. I understand that experience costs money and I myself have experienced this, but, we spent most of our money on the Pallete 2 from Mosaic. (about $500).

HOWEVER, we still have some money left. If a suggested price is to much for us to pay up-front, 3DPrintedDreams is willing to pay you in installments dermined by mutual agreement.

Thanks for your time and have a nice day!

-Josh

Co-founder of 3DPrintedDreams, LLC (Pending).

Me and my best friend were heavy drinking last night, without eating something.
Now, my stomach hurts like hell.
Guess I won't do anything today.

Isn't it all too ironic that the inefficient suck-ups get to keep their jobs all the time and get all the benefits? And how the hard-working people get sacked and disrespected all the time? It shouldn't be this way.

At my job I bust myself every day mentally to come up with the best solutions and I don't get taken seriously, I just get shrugged at.
Meanwhile, an undereducated friend of mine got his contract extended and got a praise from the manager because all he does is do what they ask of him and he slaves away instead of coming up with ways to better the company. He's just a useless, mindless grunt. There's no value in him.
Then another friend of mine is asocial and while he had been hoping to get a promotion for the five years he worked at the company, solving numerous important issues, this one younger kid who happened to be a suck-up who bumped up everybody's mood but was in fact as intellectually useless as a rock, he got promoted to team lead in two months.

That lackeys and lazy people get more respect than authentic and well-meaning people. What an ugly world we live in..

Your best friend your colleague a developer you trust the most, your best buddy in the office can be a savage asshole sometimes.

Just sayin.

What are your "got backstabbed stories"

Good friend, Jay. Helped level up my understanding over the years, JS patterns, using APIs, best practices, etc.

Also helped kill off anxiety about the community by proving we work together and share knowledge.

Many thanks and I hope everyone has a Jay in their life.

Actually have a dev thing to say now.

I wrote a script to compile my kernel with the latest mainline version using my current config options. It works...so far. I'll check back with it in a couple months and hope it still works good. It also checks daily if my kernel is out of date (yes I'm one of those, fight me)

Also managed to get my laptop to boot from power on to LightDM in 15 seconds, and 9 of those seconds are firmware. It DOES have this thing on occasion where it freezes during the boot process while initializing everything tho?? I've been meaning to try and figure it out for a minute but I put it off so much cause I don't reboot that often anyways.

As for a personal update, I hung out with some good friends today and my best friend heard my singing voice for the first time, she said I have a good voice (she does a lot of musicals and stuff and just sings all the time, so I trust her opinion). I also gave that friend a gaming laptop as a late birthday gift/early graduation gift today because she doesn't have anything to game on and I didn't really use the laptop much anyways. Plus she's like my favorite person ever and she really deserves it. Unrelated note, I have had an off and on crush on this girl for 2 years. She's always been there for me and she's just an amazing person.

Why do I prefer robots to humans, you ask? I'd love to tell you.

If I tell a robot that I want my room vacuumed, they wouldn't purposefully mess up the room instead. It understands a small set of instructions.

But if I tell a human, a friend for example, that I have abandonment issues, you best believe they will go ahead and abandon me exactly when I need them.

Or if I tell a human, a potential fwb for example, that I can't take emotional stuff, you best believe that they will do a 180 and become the most romantic person ever.

And that, is why I prefer robots. Now, one of you go ahead and make an intelligent robot that I could date. I'm literally done with people.

Hmm... My first experience with computers was in 1991 or so, when my then best friend had C64. And I was 7. My first PC arrived in 1993. Prince of Persia is the first game I remember from that time. I started programming in 1995 or '96, writing useless things in Pascal. Using PHP since 2000. Still that’s my main programming language. And sadly, my kids have different hobbies than me, so they aren’t even trying to program.

I remember the sound of modem connecting thru phone line to some BBS systems and later to the first public and free internet service in Poland. I remember simple, really „computer-like” voice of my dad’s speech synthesizer (he’s blind person). I remember, when our time to „play on PC” was limited to max 1hr a day... What will our kids remember?

documentation is my best friend now

Scope creep.

Stopping scope creep when it rears its goddamn ugly head.

I kinda want project managers to recite "The Riflemans Creed" but replace rifle with the project scope. So they realize how important sticking to that scope is.

"This is my project. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My scope is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my projects' scope is useless. Without the project scope, I am useless...."

Been thinking about this a lot and I'd love your thoughts. Recently a friend was starting in dev. They asked me for some advice. I just said "be humble and hungry". I've built my career on that phrase. Be willing to listen and willing to put in the work.

What is your best advice for the young devs out there?

I repeat
Make google (or any other search engine) your best best friend.
Understand the art of asking questions.
Dont be ashamed of asking most of the developers no matter the experience still ask questions thats how people succed.
Make some projects .
use sites like hackerrank.
Learn utilise make.

The moment when you realize, that the website of your best friend is a template...

Hands on experience is the best. Lemme tell ya.

So recently a friend has been bugging (in a good way) me about getting to one of my projects. So, about a week and a half ago I finally got along to starting. I tried using existing FOS projects to mold together as my own, but that didn’t work. So I made it from scratch. At first it was frustrating because I didn’t know PHP, but now I think I got the gist of it.

Almost a week and a half now and quite the progress has been made, at least to what I had expected... now I’m addicted to coding. I hate food. And people. I love my code, no matter how terrible it is.

It's going to be a tough week at home. We'd have to leave our house and find new accommodation. And I just find solace in the fact that, at least, I'm a developer and when all the dust is settled, I can earn enough to get out of this mess.

Special thanks to my best friend who supported me as I spent my college time trying to build my development skills!

So a friend got on MATFYZ (best and probably hardest Uni in our country - Math& Physics) and told me some first impressions today and well, fuck me.. or us..

One dude said he hadn't had much of a time for preparations on getting onto the Uni because he was busy writing learning book about nano stuff and not only for students, but for fucking TEACHERS! He was at the same age as I am now when he wrote this. There were more stories but this one's insane.

Meanwhile I'm here programming fizzbuzz not even studying IT related school (don't ask, bad decisions, or maybe good, probably good, but still) and not knowing shit really.

Is it just me orrr ?

My best friend has been working to learn python and I guess he hasn't see control flow statements.

The problem is we have a girl name "elif" in Turkish and it's his ex's name (+4 yrs, bad ending)

What should I do :D

Befriend Google.

I know I'm a bit late with this, but I thought I'd share it anyway.
A few years ago me and my friend were messing around in computer class and I decided to look at the network devices.
I couldn't believe, what I saw. All of the school security cameras were there, and the best part: when I connected to their ip addresses, they were just showing the live feed, no password or anything.
I didn't really do anything with it since I couldn't think of any great ideas and it has since been fixed.
Technically not hacking but still somewhat related.

This is more of a rant with a question within:

It's International Women's Day and I did not see this hitting me like it is lol, but I have a question for my fellow devs all over:

Do you actually like the system of developers making up fake doctors appointments (or whatever) to go interview with the competitor because they don't feel appreciated at their current company?
Do people actually like sneaking around and telling lies and constantly having to prove yourself to new people instead of just having a process in place to rectify the situation where you work?

And do you actually like having to spend so much time and energy negotiating pay so you don't get ripped off?

I know this happens to all of us, regardless of how we identify. But I once had a recruiter call me the day after she talked to my best friend, a male dev (same experience level), and using his same techniques that we practiced together, she offered me almost $100k less for the same title she offered him the day before, despite the strongest negotiating of my life. She insisted the company simply could not go higher. This affected my friend almost as much as it affected me-- this really does happen. We're not making it up. Sometimes not even the best advice can change the reality.

Shit like that is just depressing, and reminds me that it probably wouldn't be that different if I went somewhere else anyway. But I'm wondering if you like that hustle, or if you too wish it wasn't needed.

I'm going to ask Chat GPT to first take over the role of our current leaders in the company cause they are not leading, and then I'm going to take our "relationship" to the next step and go through all my education and experience gained on the job with it being my best friend, teacher and mentor.

Guaranteed I will progress 3 x as fast since it's exp