My girlfriend is really depressed and wanna kill herself
I’m so don’t know what to do

get her help from a psychologist?
and If she is a serious danger to to herself get her into psychward on suicide watch.

@heyheni she doesn’t want any help. I can’t just kidnap her and take to psychiatrist by force, that’s not how it works

@uyouthe The authorities will force you to see treatment if you are in danger of hurting yourself. At least in civilized nations they do. You would call 112/911 and someone trained would at least come to talk to her.

yeah if several person around her think shes in danger of killing herself the authorities will kidnapp her, and keep her for examination for 1-3 days and prescribe a treatment or set her free. But then again i don't know how's that handled in russia.

@heyheni I’ll tell you. We don’t have any of this

First things first: sooner or later you'll need to get help. You can't do this all by yourself, you don't have the skills of a therapist and taking care of a mentally ill person will take a toll on you.
With that said, the best thing to do is to convince her to go to a therapist. "But she doesn't want that", yeah, i know. Suicidal people don't want to visit a therapist because they have the fear of being labeled a sicko. Even average people don't want to go to the therapist because they think that means something is wrong with them, even though everyone visits a doctor once in a while and mental health is just as important as physical health. The fear of getting thrown into an asylum is another thing. I guess that's a reasonable fear (based on what i've heard) and if she ever talks about that you can only promise to her that won't happen.
And most importantly: don't get angry at her or say things like "why are you like this?". It's a shitty situation but getting angry doesn't help ...

... either one of you. And maybe get some close friends or family involved. As i said, this is no job for a single person. But avoid making her the center of attention and by that making her feel like a "freak". (I cant word this well in english but you get my idea).

Make her feels like you'll always be there for her? Depression often comes when someone don't have anyone to rely on

As someone who suffered (and to some degree, still am suffering) from depression for more than 10 years, and is also diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder I can give you my realization I came to: as long as you live there is a chance for a better tomorrow. Death is the easy way out. It may take time to recover, but in 10 years from now, she might be happy to still be alive. When you are dead there are no more tries. You cannot wake up from death, but you can wake up from nightmares.

@virustark24 we are three years

@Fexell you’re really wise person

Thank you all mates.

Stop whatever you're doing. Give all attention to her.

I agree him. That would be fatal @fuck2code

As someone who’s been through this on both sides (suicidal and with a suicidal person), let me just say I’m sorry you’re going through this.

Relationships are one of those weird things where you realise the gulf that exists between what you want for the other person and the reality that they’re their own entity with their own will.

Sadly, the long and short of it is that most people that truly want to end their lives end up doing so - even after repeated attempts at help.
I’m not sure what infrastructure exists in your country for this, here in the U.K. it’s hard too, my mother was suicidal and it was impossible to get any forced help unless she consented or was deemed unfit... which required her cooperating to come with us to the hospital.

I will say this:

Be there for her
Listen
Validate what she has to say
Help her improve her life.

I will also say that depression is far too overly pathologised (IMO).

The temptation is to get them on meds and see a head shrinker ASAP, when (in my experience) that tends to make things worse in many ways.

I’ve been on and off various meds and in offices for years, as have many people I’ve known.

I’d really recommend putting her in front of Johan Bari’s Lost Connections book; it’s a great read, and it might just help her the way it really helped me.

@Brolls wow, thanks a lot.

As a person with suicidal tendencies: I'd love to know more as well

You can find out a lot of info on https://opentalk.info/relationship-... about psychology from psychologists themselves. But the most vivid example is probably to get yourself under a similar consultation. This can be more useful than just gathering information. After all, in a similar way, you can get rid of many problems with your head session.

Kiki from 2023 here: lmao, kill yourself bitch 😂 you stole three years of my youth