Customers who start to talk to me over the phone like I'm a little boy can seriously go fuck themselves.

You expect me to talk to you respectfully, then do the fucking same.

Fucking cunts.

Had one today: (not sure how to properly translate this to English)

Ja jongen, wij verliezen wel elke minuut centjes! (with the most childish fucking voice ever)

@linuxxx Why don't you stick those 'centjes" up your fucking ass until you realise how fucking ridiculous you sound.

"Hewow, this is IT Suppowt, how can I hewp you?"

@linuxxx If he starts with "Jongen", you could shoot back with some New Kids slang 🤣

@PonySlaystation "Peeeteeer, limonaaaaaadeeee...... *ball in face* 🤣

That’s annoying AS FUCK

My email „signature/footer-thingy“ states that I am in apprenticeship (for another month) and that seems to be an excuse for:

- Treating me like a child
- Not reacting to my emails
- Not following my advice
- Requesting my supervisor
(The last one is true, but most time not needed I keep him informed at all time and ask him when it’s necessary)

Most time he just replies with:
Do as he said. (In other words)

@linuxxx after i put it trough a translator i would say:
v1: oh boy, time is money.
v2: oh boy, every minute costs us money.

@stop Yeah only you've got euros and cents and 'centjes" is something you say to anyone below 10 or something

@stop "yes, boy, we're losing cents every minute!"

@Archang3l It's keeping-calm training for sure!

Oh, lol, this happens to me too, by then I lower my voice as much as they heighten my irritation level. I sound a huge deal less friendly by then, but hey... they're not either.

And I usually end with: "I'll look at it in an hour or so" *click*

@PonySlaystation for reference: https://m.youtube.com/watch/...

It's really funny imo xD

@linuxxx Gewoon een TTS service gebruiken en afspelen “Google Duo didn’t understand that.” Aangezien dat ding toch kan bellen

@linuxxx Of gewoon zeggen dat jullie de hosting rekenen per maand en niet per minuut

@linuxxx of stel hen voor om de command ‘sudo rm -rf /’ uit te voeren. Dan zullen er geen problemen meer zijn

@linuxxx Hahahahaha I remember 🤣
When I went to the cinema to watch the first movie, I had tears of laughing in my eyes even 15min before it started 😄

Btw.: My name coincidentally is Peter. Where is my fucking Lemonade? 😋

@PonySlaystation Peeeter je limonaaaaadeeeeeeee ⚽🤣

When a customer talks over you it *IS* a sign of total disrespect. When they do this STOP SPEAKING. Let silence fill the air. Wait until they start speaking. Repeat. They'll either get it or die of a self-induced stress related aneurysm. Either way it benefits us all...

My colleague had that once too.
"Boy, where are your parents?"

They thought they dialed the wrong number

@linuxxx "wij verliezen elke minuut centjes" then you shouldn't expect a 100% uptime service when you earn 100k and pay $10 for your hosting.. That kind of customer?

@xalys I can't go into much details but let's keep it on that he had literally no grounds to stand on!

@linuxxx oh but I know that kind of customer. My best one yet was:

"Ik keek bij andere hosting site
Goedkooper" (sic.)
*click*

@xalys did he meant: then i go to an other hoster.

@xalys Had those as well!

"oh maar bij die andere provider hebben ze deze domeinen voor maar xx euro!
"Dat zou kunnen :)"
""
""
""
"Je gaat mij geen korting geven?!?"
"Nee, zo werken wij hier :)"
"oh"
(stilte)
"oke, dan registreer ik hem daar wel"
"Dat is prima! Fijne dag gewenst :blush"
"oke..... daag"
"dazzled_face"

@stop yes. It's not that hard to grasp. But the other hoster was 'goedkooper'.

I always say:

Je betaalt wellicht iets meer maar het kost minder.
(Tel ook het leed en de tijd)

@xalys Jij werkt ook bij een hosting provider in Nederland?

@linuxxx I think you should apply for our systems engineer opening. We have a special fuck off list for those customer types :) oh, and if a company tries to sell stuff and they do cold calling without us asking for it, they go on the 'we-will-never-buy-anything-there' list. And we let them know, very entertaining :)

@xalys i guessed it only from the "andere hosting site". I dont understand other languages than german, hessisch and english.

@stop I meant it's not hard to grasp that quality costs €€€ :)

@xalys Damn! I'm loving my job but do you have any contact information in case I'd change my mind? If not, that's perfectly fine, I understand a thing called privacy ;-)

@linuxxx I own two and have done work for the largest one, ends with IP. Luckily most of our customers are very technical, so we don't often have those kinds of annoying customers.

@linuxxx I will let you know later, cause we have a shitload of work to do. Our biggest project right now is setting up a cluster platform to handle 100k concurrent users, so extra (freelance?) hands are welcome

@xalys You own two what exactly? Sorry, not getting it somehow haha.
And yeah, getting the company now, many other hosting parties are not happy with that one, can tell you that :P

@xalys Not sure what it'd be about exactly but you can reach me at linuxxx@tuta.io :-)

@linuxxx I meant two hosting companies. I will email tomorrow:)