Relatives: You're a computer guy, right, what are you working on these days?
Me: *should I bother explaining, should I not* Oh, just some stuff.
R: Oh come on, tell us, how difficult can it be?
M: *sigh* I'm working on a custom garbage collector for-
R: !!

They're now under the impression that I'm involved in collecting rubbish from bins. Sigh. My hair doesn't help here, either, lol (I have one of those tangled, unruly mops of hair)

This will take time to explain.

For java? Is ur code on github?

@mojo2012 nah, C++. An application I'm helping out with has a very particular allocation/deallocation pattern, I can take advantage of that to build a custom GC for higher performance (hopefully, let's see if it works).

Sorry, this is for someone's research project, can't release the code till they publish.

Well at least it's not a orphan killer

Lesson learnt: don't even fucking bother

Just tell them: "Not really, I'm just trying to replace humans with less annoying entities."

@RememberMe imagine what would you have to answer if you were a microbiologist. Or a lawyer XD

Next time try with "do you like the long story or the short story?"

@redundandundant "It all started when I was 4 years old. Butt naked and running away from my parents, I ended up in the garden behind the house. Under the shiny sun, that's where I met "them". Curious discovery for little me's mind, I studied my findings passionately and swore on that very day that I would spend my life around these "things".

Yes, I am fond of bugs and will do my best to create as many as I can."

@mt3o lel, those actually have legit sounding work. I sometimes hate how computer science has absolutely irrelevant sounding stuff like garbage collection, the Banker's algorithm, the Dining Philosophers problem, Lamport's bakery algorithm, and the Byzantine generals problem.

It's really entertaining describing these sometimes, though, lol.

Avoid using terms they recognise so you won't have to explain it.

"garbage collector"

Maybe make it sounds better?

"Used memory reallocator for better performance and efficientcy in C++"

They less they understand what you're saying the more above their level you sound.

Whenever my relative ask what i do, I always tell them i am insurance seller, would the help me achieve my sales target by buying some of those :
:D

@RememberMe try explaining Article 13 :)

When talking to non-technical people, you have two options:
A) explain it like they're 5
B) explain it like they have a PhD in the field

@nkhan I think now I should just say that I help people by making their programs faster.

@mt3o nah, then I'll have to explain a whole lot of other stuff.

@Root indeed :/
I should remember to keep A as the default.

@RememberMe Well If I tell some one i am a programmer they by default same my number as support guy so insurance is good.

@mt3o

MEMES ARE DEAD.

There go i explained it for u

@Root when I try to explain things, I like to give some context first. But after a while I look in their faces and realize it's like I've begun with "around 14 billion years ago..."

Next time, say you're building an AI that does garbage collecting... _that_ should perk them up...

How about explaining it this way:

Imagine, you're playing darts. After your throws you write down the score and then the darts on the bord lost their purpose, so you have to go and collect them.
With computer programs it's kind of similar. You have your disk or memory, where you store data, like you throw the darts to a board. But once you did your calculations or displayed some text, you don't need them anymore. That's where a garbage collector comes in. It cleans up after your program.
To finish the dart example, a garbage collector would be a guy, waiting until you've written down your score and then remove the darts from the board for you, so you don't have to walk to the board. That's what we call a garbage collector in programing.