Is this so different from tech startup presentation?

Our revolutionary platform leverages next-gen AI, decentralized blockchain orchestration, and hyper-scalable cloud-native microservices to synergize collective intelligence and unlock a paradigm shift in human potential. By gamifying sustainability through tokenized social impact layers and deploying frictionless API integrations across Web3 ecosystems, we’re not just disrupting legacy infrastructures—we’re architecting a regenerative future. Our mission-driven, community-centric, and data-sovereign approach empowers Gen Z digital natives to co-create resilient value networks that transcend borders, democratize innovation, and ultimately save humanity from systemic collapse.

Save Humanity? That's unbelievably preposterous

@asgs Or. "Save Martians", the fishes, or the universe whatever, this startup will save all! So how many billions are you willing to invest?

It's this kind of empty bs talk that drove me nuts at my previous job. They're literally saying nothing. Nothing. And promising people they should invest in them. Big bucks.

Let's put this into common phrasing, shall we...

Our buncha code we threw together in a rush because upper management rushed us into it whilst underpaying us is now ready to use even though it's under-tested. We had a guy secretly use ChatGPT for like two hours, pressured by his manager and then they upsold it as this. The guy was forced to look up a blockchain tutorial and then smash a buncha code together and call it awesome. Then, management didn't want to budget this so they threw it on some slow cloud and if there are issues just dump them on our poor helpdesk guys. Proceed to greenwash all this so we can get free budget to do the same shit all over again an go to some random bullshit meetup, brown-nosing everybody else and then call ourselves champions. We got a bunch of desperate guys from integrations to glue this shit together on huffing and puffing, undermaintained servers that can barely stay online.

We pretend we like each other at the office, some random photographer comes by so we can put our fake-ass smiles on some pic no one will give a shit about in a week. Buncha burnt out Gen-Z's pretending to like this shit when all they wanna do is go home and game. We'll also get some other dudes to get in on this but nobody really knows each other. We know nobody knows wtf they're doing so we upsell ourselves as the solution because we all know that how to win is create a problem and then present yourself as a solution. R o f l.

That was ranty.