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Search - "tech"
Sit down before you read this.
So I interviewed a guy for a "Support Engineer" internship position.
Me and the team lead sit down and are waiting for him to enter, but apparently he's actually making a coffee in the kitchen.
This isn't exactly a strike since the receptionist told him that he can go get a drink, and we did too. It's just always expected for him to get a glass of water, not waste 3 minutes brewing a coffee.
In any case he comes in, puts the coffee on the table, then his phone, then his wallet, then his keys and then sits on our side of the table.
I ask him to sit in front of us so we can see him. He takes a minute to pack and tranfer himself to the other side of the table. He again places all of the objects on the table.
We begin, team lead tells him about the company. Then I ask him whether he got any questions regarding the job, the team or the company . For the next 15 minutes he bombards us with mostly irrelevant and sometimes inappropriate questions, like:
0: Can I choose my own nickname when getting an email address?
1: Does the entire department get same salaries?
2: Are there yoga classes on Sundays only or every morning?
3: Will I get a car?
4: Does the firm support workspace equality? How many chicks are in the team?
5: I want the newest grey Mac.
And then.. Then the questions turn into demands:
6: I need a high salary (asks for 2.5 more than the job pays. Which is still a lot).
I ask him why would he get that at his first job in the industry (remind you, this is an internship and we are a relatively high paying company).
He says he's getting paid more at his current job.
His CV lists no current job and only indicates that he just finished studying.
He says that he's working at his parent's business...
Next he says that he is very talented and has to be promoted very quickly and that we need to teach him a lot and finance his courses.
At this point me and the team lead were barely holding our laughs.
The team lead asks him about his English (English is not our native language).
He replies "It's good, trust me".
Team lead invites him for an English conversation. Team lead acts like a customer with a broken internet and the guy is there to troubleshoot. (btw that's not job related, just a simple scenario)
TL: "Hello, my name is Andrew, I'm calli..."
Guy: *interrupts* "Yes, yes, hi! Hi! What do you want?"
TL: "Well, if you let me fi..."
Guy: "Ok! Talk!"
TL: "...inish... My internet is not working."
Guy: "Ok, *mimics tuning a V engine or cooking a soup* I fixed! *points at TL* now you say 'yes you fixed'".
Important to note that his English was horrible. Disregarding the accent he just genuinely does not know the language well.
Then he continiues with "See? Good English. Told you no need to check!".
After about half a minute of choking on out silent laughter I ask him how much Python experience he has (job lists a requirement of at least 1 year).
He replies "I'm very good at object oriented functional programming".
I ask again "But what is your experience? Did you ever take any courses? Do you have a git repository to show? Any side.."
*he interrupts again* "I only use Matlab!".
Team lead stands up and proceeds to shake his hand while saying "we will get back to you".
At last the guy says with a stupid smile on his face "You better hire me! Call me back tomorrow." Leaves TL hanging and walks away after packing his stuff into the pockets.
I was so shocked that I wasn't even angry.
We both laughed for the rest of the day though. It was probably the weirdest interview I took part at.40
*computer fell, broken in pieces*
Me calling [Microsoft] tech support: hey can you check my warranty on this computer, I think I broke it?
Tech support: yes sir but we must first go through the troubleshooting steps,
Me: no, no I just-
Tech support: have you tried pressing F8 sir?
Me: umm… no, look I'm just -
Tech support: sir please press the F8 key sir
Me: okay… I pressed it, now can you just check my-
Tech support: sir please what happened when you pressed F8?
Me: it's broken, now if you could just check my warranty -
Tech support: sir I'm sorry sir I think you did it wrong. Please press F8
Me: no just check my-
Tech support: sir I think you do not understand, sir it is at the top-
Tech Industry: “We need more developers!”
NewDev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “only experienced developers please! We don’t have time to train juniors ”
Older Dev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “no, you want too much money and too much time off“
Mid dev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “only experienced devs who are a culture fit!”
Robot dev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “You are Hired”12
First time meeting girlfriends grandparents.
👴👵: So what do you do?
😎: I'm a software engineer ... So computers and stuff.
👴: Oh, can you have a look at my phone? There's that weird icon I don't understand ...
So within five minutes, I was their tech support. It was an icon for Android Nearby, btw and I didn't have an explanation ready.
That happened five more times this evening.19
// family tech support
Dad: *clicks something*
Dad: *something strange happens*
Dad: Hey son, come over here. What happened?
Son: Hm.. what did u click?
Dad: I don't know. Aren't you supposed to know that? You're our computer genius.7
Me: Wanna see this website I built this weekend?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: I connected a bunch of APIs so you can snap a photo of yourself and get a recommended song based on your facial expression. Pretty cool, right?
Friend: *thinking* ... I think you should change the size of that button, and the colors are pretty bad, dude.
Every time I show my non-tech friends anything I get this kind of feedback :/19
"Oh no, big tech companies are taking advantage of our information and tracking everything we do. We're too dependent! "
"Wow this sounds important. *Googles it *"
"Everyone needs to know, *shares on Facebook*"
Friend: Hey, can you fix my laptop? The hard drive is almost full.
Me: (Looking through his folders) Maybe it's because of this. Why do you have 3000+ files in your downloads folder? Maybe I should delete some of this.
Friend: No no, please don't touch the downloads folder, I have some very important documents there.
Me: Why don't you move them to a separate folder then? You should organize the ones you actually need and delete the rest. This folder is a complete mess.
Friend: No no, the problem is not the downloads folder, there must be something else. Can't you just uninstall some programs to free up space?
Me: I could, but I don't know which ones you actually use.
Friend: What? You should know!! You studied computer science for this!!
Me: First of all, there is not a single class in the whole 4 years of university called "How to uninstall programs and free up space on 128GB hard drives of shitty €400 computers". Second of all, I don't know why you were expecting me to find a magic button on your laptop that immediately frees up all the space in a hard drive without actually deleting anything. That's not how computers work, you know.
Friend: Hey if you didn't want to help me you could have said so in the first place.
My dad: Hey Sébastien, I think my computer has a problem, can you look my computer ?
*walks in front of the computer*
*looks at the screen*
My dad: But, you don't fix it ?
Me: Nope, you just asked me to 'see' your computer
A few days ago a friend of mine rang me up complaining about internet issues with his computer. As usual I did the "is it plugged in, turn it off then on again" sort of thing to waste time while my pasta was cooking. After a while he asked if I had another bogus solution, so I suggested flushing his toilet.
He runs off, I hear the flush, comes back and viola - it fucking worked.
The point of this is: if it don't work, flush the toilet. You're welcome, tech support out ✌️11
Tech support to my friend:
Friend: Root my phone!
Friend: play store is not working
Me: why do u want to root for that?
Friend: is there any other option?
Me: give me ur phone
After 20 sec ...
Me: Sign in to ur Google account 😐😐3
*calls grandpa I don't usually talk to that much to congratulate him for his birthday*
*grandpa picks up*
Him: so, I know that you study CS and I was working on something [Word document at the moment] and my letters keep getting different sizes! Sometimes they're small, sometimes they're big, sometimes they're in between! I have to erase everything everytime because they just get messed up every time!
Me *sighing, but confused because upper-case and lower-case are the same with "big letters" and "small letters", respectively, in my native language: have you checked Caps Lock on your keyboard?
Him: What is that? I have Esc, 1, 2, 3,... (proceeds to read me the keys on the keyboard)
*explains where caps lock is*
Him *gets angry*: no, you don't understand, sometimes they're small, sometimes they're big and sometimes in between! Caps Lock doesn't solve it! *proceeds to read the keys from the keyboard again*
*thinking that maybe it's the font then, asks about the Word version, to know what to point him to*
Him: WHAT? Word? No! I'm using my keyboard! What don't you understand! I explain to you and you have no idea!
Me: well, I'd need then maybe to see the screen
Him: I'm so angry with you, you say you study so much but are not even able to help me with such a small problem. I'll just find someone else. Thanks for your wishes *hangs up*
And this is how I only tried to congratulate my grandfather for his birthday but turned into a "failing" tech support. I just wanted to be a good granddaughter16
I don’t usually recommend movies to a lot of people, but if you like going to the movies, I highly, highly recommend you see “Searching”. Its wide release in the U.S. is today and it will be out internationally soon I think.
It’s probably the best thriller movie I’ve ever seen, and the best movie I’ve seen in last few years, and I see a lot of them. The tech in it is awesome, and how the movie is presented will bring back tech memories and it really is a trip down memory lane. The movie has a bit of everything. An awesome story, awesome suspense, and great use of technology and social media.
10/10, definitely see it!35
I need to hide myself, my computer, programming skills and computer knowledge from people. Then only, I will be safe..
Friend: Heeey, you're good with computers right?
Me: No! 😑
Friend: Come-on bro. I know you are.
Me: What do you want?
Friend: I want you to check and book flights for me for country X.
Me: Are you ok? How does this have anything to do with someone being good with computers and stuff?
Friend: Haha, see? You're good with computers. *starts laughing. Anyway, since you're good, you can find the best prices. I know you know how to search sites and how to find things online.
Me: WTF?!?!!! All, you have to do is type in your search. If you don't like the results, you simply refine it.
Friend: See, all this tech stuff I'm not really good at it.
Me: But you're good at searching for other things online, right? Do the same for your flights.
*Picks my laptop and walks away.
How can a young man not be able to search for flights online but knows how to use several gadgets. Nonsense.10
This customer comes in and practically throws a computer on the counter.
Customer: This computer isn't working. I've ran the diagnostics and it says it's software. *places a dvd case with a 32 bit Windows 7 disk in it on the counter* It had Windows 10 on it, but I want Windows 7 on it.
Me: Well, you may have issues with the drivers if you put Windows 7 on it--
Customer: I don't care, I just want Windows 7.
Me: You SHOULD care. That means no wifi, no display, no mouse... Windows 7 doesn't like Windows 10 hardware.
Customer: Then... check to see Windows 7 compatibility!
Me: Alright.... *makes notes to check for Windows 7 compatibility*
Me: So has this Windows 7 been used before?
Customer: Yes, it has.
Me: On how many computers?
Customer: I've installed it on two computers and it works just fine.
Me: That's weird because Windows license keys are for one computer only. Are both of them connected to the internet?
Me: Well, okay then... *finishes up ticket*
Customer: I work in this field and I just don't understand why they don't come with the disks anymore. How much is a Windows 10 disk?
Me: *gives price*
Customer: And do you have any?
Me: Let me check *I go to where they are, find some and come back out*
Me: Unfortunately we're out at the moment and would have to special order some back in.
Customer: OK. So then how much to fix this computer?
Me: *price of installing Windows and backing up data*
Customer: That's halfway to the price of a new one of these!
Me: Well yes, an HP at Walmart... But you do have that option if you want to take it.
Customer: Well, why does it cost that much?
Me: Well, it's $labor1 to install Windows, $labor2 to do some basic setup and drivers, and $labor3 to backup and restore data.
Customer: Oh, well I don't want data.
Me: Okay, well then it would be $total - $labor3
Customer: ...Okay, fine
Me: *updates the ticket*
When she finally left I put it on the bench and the first message said "SMART ERROR." I then did 4 different tests that said "lol, the hard drive is failing."
If you "worked in this field," you would know that a SMART error is hard drive related.
If you worked in this field, you would know that Windows is only a 1PC license, so why are you lying about installing it with no issues on other computers?
If you worked in this field, you would know you would want a 64bit Windows on your computer.
If you worked in this field, you would know how to find a Windows 10 installation media online.
If you worked in this field, you would know that HPs are not good computers to get.
IF YOU FUCKING WORKED IN THIS FIELD YOU WOULDN'T BE SUCH A FUCKING CUNT.17
A few years back, when my youngest cousin was about 7 years old, she asked me the most innocent question ever.
She said, "what's the internet?"
I answered, "it is where you can find anything that came from other people".
"Wanna see baby tigers?" I added then she nodded.
I Google searched 'tiger cubs' and showed the image results to her. She beamed a very big smile and said "let's look for another one!" So we did search for a few animal photos and I saw how happy she was!
Now she's a gamer who loves minecraft, Pewdiepie, and FPS games! :)9
The Orange Juice Saga ....
I've just come off one of the stupidest calls ever.
Firstly, I am not in tech support, I'm a software developer - read the below with this in mind.
My client called up to say the system I created as been compromised. When he attempts to login, he is logged off his Windows machine.
He'd also apparently taken his PC to ***insert large UK computer superstore here***, who took £100 plus to look at the machine and conclude his needs to buy a new PC.
I remoted into his computer to see WTF was going on.
As he described, visiting my login form did log you out. In fact, whenever you pressed the "L" key you were logged out. Press the "M" key, all windows were minimized. Basically, all Windows hotkeys appeared to be active, without the need to press the Windows key.
Whilst connected to his PC I spent a good 30 minutes checking keyboard settings and came up short.
After asking all the normal questions (has anything changed on your PC, have you installed stuff lately etc.) without any useful answers I got nothing.
I then came across an article stating several presses of the Windows in quick succession will solve the issue.
I got the client to try this, pressed the "L" key (which would have logged me off previously) and the issue was resolved.
Basically, the Windows key was "stuck", which oddly makes your PC kind of useless.
I asked the client if they'd split anything on the keyword whilst working. His exact word were simply lol:
"Oh yer, yesterday, I was trying to drink a glass of orange quickly and split some in the corner of keyboard. I did clean it up quickly though".
Yep, the issue was due to the client spilling orange juice on their keyboard , which in turn made the Windows key stick.
A call that started with the client stating I made a system that was easily compromised (i.e. my fault), morphed into a sorry saga of cold drinks.
The client did ask why the ***superstore name*** charged him money for that and recommended a new machine. That is a good question and demonstrated some the questionable tech support practices we see nowadays, even at very large stores.
To be fair to the client, he told me to bill him for half a days work as it was his own fault.
When I'm able to stop myself involuntarily face palming, I'm off for a swim to unwind :)7
As i see a ton of people complaining here about family related tech stuff. I guess i should introduce everyone to this guy.
I don't meme a lot but this one really hits close to home for me.
Roommate's boyfriend visits just to work because his laptop can't connect via WiFi anymore.
Described the problem and fix attempts yesterday, he got two other tech savvy people involved, now suspects hardware problem.
I needed <1m to re-activate the WiFi adapter, now I'm seen as the local tech God as I deserve.3
Had this with a relative. His laptop wasn't turning on, with or without charger so he brought it back to the store to fix it. It ran elementary os by the way (detail for later). Then he got it back after a week and we booted it and it had windows 8 installed (wtf indeed). So we called the service desk to ask about it since the issue was a broken charger (!!!). Their reply: oh yeah there was a weird system installed on it so we thought we'd reset it as well for you.
SERIOUSLY, THAT'S NOT YOUR FUCKING JOB!!
He is not tech savvy and he didn't know much about backups so that was literally about one year of work GONE. Yeah, I setup a cloud backup sync thingy for him right after that.7
Best computer/hacking/tech TV and movies?
I'll start the list with some of my favorites.
2. The Net
3. Jumpin Jack Flash
7. Mr Robot
On being a woman in tech...
You lads probably have (and my fellow ladies certainly have) heard of "impostor syndrome" and, if you don't experience it, you possibly wonder what living with it is like.
Here's an example from this weekend.
Be me, about 5 years into my career, graduated from a top college, feeling decent but still unsure of skill.
Company gets a 4 week trial of an online learning website. It includes optional assessments, so that you know where in the video lessons to start. Rankings are novice, proficient, expert.
Hear from our QA that he got ranked "proficient." Which is a pretty broad category, but I become super afraid that I'll also be assessed as "proficient" and it will look like I have the same dev skills as a fucking QA (our management overlords can see our scores).
Boyfriend has me do some deep breathing before starting the test, because it's obvious how stressed I am.
Finally take it and get ranked "expert", in the 97th percentile, even though some technical difficulties made me miss four questions in a row. I decide to use my do over, and get ranked "expert" again, this time in the 99th percentile.
You'd think I'd be like, "Lawl, I can't believe I'd get the same score as our QA!" And there is some of that. But there's also the thoughts of, "that test could have been more thorough," "that score wasn't real because I resaw a question and got the right answer the second time," and "99th percentile isn't that great on a platform where new developers are over represented."
And this is all despite the fact that, if you were to ask someone how confident I am, the answer would probably "confident as hell."
Not saying this to start any fights. Figured it could be some interesting insight into a world that some people don't experience! (not that males aren't allowed to have impostor syndrome!)16
Actual rant time. And oh boy, is it pissy.
If you've read my posts, you've caught glimpses of this struggle. And it's come to quite a head.
First off, let it be known that WINDOWS Boot Manager ate GRUB, not the other way around. Windows was the instigator here. And when I reinstalled GRUB, Windows threw a tantrum and won't boot anymore. I went through every obvious fix, everything tech support would ever think of, before I called them. I just got this laptop this week, so it must be in warranty, right? Wrong. The reseller only accepts it unopened, and the manufacturer only covers hardware issues. I found this after screaming past a pretty idiotic 'customer representative' ("Thank you for answering basic questions. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for repeating obvious information I didn't catch the first three times you said it. Thank you for letting me follow my script." For real. Are you tech support, or emotional support? You sound like a middle school counselor.) to an xkcd-shibboleth type 'advanced support'. All of this only to be told, "No, you can't fix it yourself, because we won't give you the license key YOU already bought with the computer." And we already know there's no way Microsoft is going to swoop in and save the day. It's their product that's so faulty in the first place. (Debian is perfectly fine.)
So I found a hidden partition with a single file called 'Image' and I'm currently researching how to reverse-engineer WIM and SWM files to basically replicate Dell's manufacturing process because they won't take it back even to do a simple factory reset and send it right back.
What the fuck, Dell.
As for you, Microsoft, you're going to make it so difficult to use your shit product that I have to choose between an arduous, dangerous, and likely illegal process to reclaim what I ALREADY BOUGHT, or just _not use_ a license key? (Which, there's no penalty for that.) Why am I going so far out of my way to legitimize myself to you, when you're probably selling backdoors and private data of mine anyway? Why do I owe you anything?
Oh, right. Because I couldn't get Fallout 3 to run in Wine. Because the game industry follows money, not common sense. Because you marketed upon idiocy and cheapness and won a global share.
Fuck you. Fuck everything. Gah.
VS Code is pretty good, though.20
This is going to be a long rant, coz this is the only way to vent out my frustration against our tech head.
Yesterday, while our fucking twat tech head was playing around in company aws account, he terminated the production server. By mistake, apparently. Coz he doesn't know shit about server management. But that egoist ass won't admit and fucked the production server.
And then ran away. We developers sprang into action. Updated dns to point to staging server, setup virtual hosts, env files, point to prod database, force flush dns cache. All systems were up and running in 30 mins. And since it was staging server, it had lot of untested features and codes, and we spent rest of the day fixing the bugs.
And that tech head, who ran away hiding his tail between his legs, after he fucked the server, came back after systems were up. And started cracking jokes, that "so many features got released in 1 day" . "We cut server cost by shutting down 1 server."
We were struggling and working in full throttle to make the services running again. And that fuckity fucker was cracking jokes.
And I don't even know what excuse he gave to ceo for the downtime. I am pretty sure he would have made up some crappy excuse to hide his fucking mistake. That ass never admits his mistake. I am thinking to go to ceo today and tell the real story and get that faggot head fired or at least a strict warning.4
Please stop asking your technical questions here, stackoverflow is a more appropriate platform for that6
Recruiter: "Ashleigh, I have a client that has asked me to reach out to you. They use really modern tech"
Me: "Oh Yea? What like?"
Recuriter: "es2015 and symfony 2"
Me: "fuck off"4
// family tech support
Dad: *Opens Microsoft Word*
Dad: *Writes stuff*
Dad: *Saves the file as "Doc1.docx" (every time)*
Dad: Son, where did I save my file? I can't find it.2
“Can’t you just open up my iPhone right now and check what’s wrong with it??”
My response: “See, you already know what to do! Since it’s so easy, why don’t you just do it yourself?”
Friend brings over a Windows 8 all in one laptop.
Friend: Can you fix my laptop
Me: I'm a programmer
Friend: I thought you worked with computers.
Me: I do... but I'm not tech support
Me: (reluctantly) Fine.
*many hours later after attempting to get the PC to boot from a USB. WHY DOES THIS PC NOT HAVE A KEY TO ENTER THE GOD DAMNED BOOT MENU AND HAS NO BOOT ORDER SELECTION?????!*
Friend: Have you fixed it?
Friend: You suck at computers
Never spoke to him again.8
Freaking tech support.
Their 'one-way interview' bs only supports flash. Flash. in production. in 2019. Flash died years ago, and its support ends next year. What the crap?
Anyway, I finally decided I should do the interview since they already have all of my information anyway. Thanks, "privacy-conscious" third party. Totally appreciate it.
I spent half an hour and couldn't get flash working on their site (but all other sites were fine), so I contacted their support. I gave them all the relevant specs (inc. ofc browser), the steps to reproduce, and all of my attempts at fixing the issue.
To their credit, I recieved a response within a few minutes. To their discredit: their response was: "What browser are you using?" This question was followed by my report (including, ofc, my browser and all the other overlooked details), immediately followed by a "debugging info" section appended by their support service that also included my browser, os, and other specs.
Learn to fucking read.
Their suggestion? Use google chrome. Barring that: record your 20-30 minute video by holding your phone in front of your face the entire time. I am so not kidding.
They also asked what page i was having difficulty on. You guessed it: the page url was also included within that "debugging info" section.
It wasn't a form letter, either. I'd understand if it was all automated, but it was a real person who was really typing up the emails, and really didn't bother reading a damned thing.
I did end up getting flash working, but their "tech support" (script-reader) was entirely useless.18
My colleague: *merges my pull request and his like an idiot and removes my changes*
Me: you merged incorrectly. *Shows code*
Him: .... Yeah try to avoid adding comments because clean code best practice is to not have them.
Me (to myself): how about you merge correctly instead of putting blame on something else.
For gods sake, it was a comment explaining why the code exists and not what it does.
He somehow was selected as tech lead because there were no free resources at the time. Hate it when these kinds of devs who can't code try to save their non existent prestige.
The guy can't even make proper rest apis. Give a wrong param value and it returns the whole json with null values. How the fuck do you still think you can talk about best practices when you can't implement them yourselves.
This is the same as the colleague in my previous rant who can't use git correctly and has everyone save their work so the guy can push cuz who pulls stuff, and then proceed on sharing posts about *teamwork* on LinkedIn.10
New to this but here's my rant I suppose. It bothers me how "non-tech" people kind of devalue what tech people do. Like they have zero understanding of it, so you make something in 30 minutes or an hour that took years of building said skills and involved complex logic and understanding of relational data and because it only took you 30 minutes or an hour it must have been "easy". Or the way you are everybody's free tech advisor with family and friends... And things are said like "I'm not good with this stuff, but you're so good with it". For the record nobody is just "great" at technology or coding from birth its been a 2+ decade craft that I've experimented with and learned and put effort into. So taking into consideration all this effort I have put in to understand all this you say you'll never remember to push that button so you'll just ask me again when the problem arises. Yes because its so fun for me to constantly maintain your electronics because you can't bother to remember to push a button.5
Holy shit, I'm really impressed with the high tech park my dentist has. She takes pictures of a tooth, a computer makes a 3D model out of that, then she grinds down the tooth as necessary and takes pictures again.
From the difference, the computer generates the data for the tooth crown, including warning spots where it could be too thin so that a bit more grinding is needed.
Then she corrects some spots manually and sends it over to the CNC machine in the next room that cuts the thing from a ceramics block with correct colour. Some heat treatment later, and the tooth crown fits perfectly.
Gone are the days with dental imprints, provisional crown and not quite fitting final crown.2
I was watching this movie's trailer called Let's Be Evil, it did look promising based on the genre (Sci-Fi, Thriller, Horror) and synopsis (includes Augmented Reality (AR) tech) BUT as I soon was on this frame right here, I am not going to watch the movie now. 😂
You are making a high tech movie, at least do intend to add some realistic code snippets or scripts related to AR rather than showing some random plain HTML.
You can watch the trailer here : https://youtu.be/Nsbzf3bL4Qg
Code will appear around 0:156
My friends with non tech background thinks that I am hacking into NSA or something but they don't know I am just downloading the package lists by running sudo apt-get update. 😂5
When you contact tech support just to find out he is in a boat.
Anyways if anyone is interested, devBanner is up again!
Create your banner at https://devbanner.center or https://devbanner.github.io/devBann...5
I love stackoverflow!
1. Developer who knows SO, and loves it : Yeah, my friend!
2. Developer who knows SO, but hates it : Go home, you're drunk.
3. Normal people who doesn't know the dev world : Why would you like a stack to overflow?
4. Normal people who is a tech savvy : Ah, the place where people share their questions and answers to make a better software and to be together? I never used it, but I heard it is awesome!
5. Idiots : What is that?
6. Grammarly : Recommended word is "stack overflow"
7. Dishwasher : Fatal error!6
Tech support to family member:
Mom: "App just goes black after 30 seconds"
Me: "remove it and install again"
Me: "tap the icon and hold till icon wiggles"
Mom: "doesn't do anything"
Me: "did you tap and hold?"
Mom: "hold what?"
Me:"Tap and and don't pull your finger up"
Mom: "Nothing... oh wait, yes it jiggles"
Me: "lift finger, tap the x that appeared on the icon, follow instructions"
Mom: "ok did that so what do I do now?"
Mom: "ok it's deleted"
Me: "Go to app store, and search for the app. after you tap the appstore icon, in a moment or so you should see a magnifying glass icon with the word search, tap that"
Mom: "nope no magnifying glass"
Me: ggrrrrrrr "yes their is one"
Mom: "nope, it isn't their, I'M NOT STUPID YOU KNOW JUST BECAUSE I'M OLD!!! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS THINK I'M SO STUPID? THERE IS NO MAGNIFYING GLASS!!!"
Me: Deep, deep deep breath to the point of bursting my lungs (which is the preferable outcome)
Me: "top right corner or bottom right corner"
Mom: silence.... a few crickets in the background then some giggles followed with "Oh yea, their it is "....
20 minute call. no hi, how are you, how's your day. Just hello, I have a problem, it's fixed, bye.
Sometimes, and I don't want to sound mean BUT I wish we could pick our family.....10
Saw this on the interwebs. Left: customer. Right: employee.
The left one looks like a nice type of customer-person though.
I like to imagine that the employee-guy does not understand why the computer is not working, at which point the customer-person says: "Oh, I can fix that."6
Tech support: we need to install backup software on your laptops.
Devs: what for?
TS: to backup all your important files, like word docs, excels, etc.
Devs: we don't use those. everything is on git/confluence/etc
TS: my boss told me to install it everywhere, so I have to do it.
Devs: well just disable it. uses too much tam, disk time and such
So he installed it on each laptop separately, took half a day, then we just disabled it and proceeded with our tasks. Now we get a question every other week why nothing is being synced from our computers. "We paid for the system and we want you to use it".
Shopping for computers is so fun and relaxing than shopping for makeup.
So here's the scenario...
I walked into a makeup store and I was looking for lipstick. I was wearing my devRant shirt, jeans, and a laptop backpack. A sales lady approached me and just stared. She didn't even ask what I was looking for. The way she looked at me made me feel that I don't belong there. She should've just left me alone than giving a judgemental look. I got intimidated so I looked at her and gave the biggest smile, then fleed. I panicked. I salute those female developers who doesn't have problems shopping for girly stuff!
For the record, my sister encouraged me to wear a little makeup so that I don't look stressed. That made me decide to go to that makeup store. I'd rather order online now.
It's so hard to not be girly by nature.18
Girls: do you find that most men in our work are sexist?
A flamewar in a Mozilla bug report brought me to this article: https://notapattern.net/2014/10/...
I believe that most of the points are ridiculous, and I know I'll probably get downvoted for this, but I'd really like to hear some woman's honest opinion.41
long && scam && rant?
At my parent's: phone rings..
Me: hi this is XYZ (in German)
He: hi this is ABC from Microsoft tecnical suport (strong Indian accent, sorry toall Indian devs who might feel offended, no intention)
Me: hi... (I'm learning for my exams and don't have a VM with Windows installed currently, so no time to "play")
He: we got some worrying data from your Windows computer. You might have a virus and we need to run a few tests to verfy it. Do you know what that is?
Me: yeah, a scam.
He: sorry, sir I didn't understand you, could you repeat?
Me: yeah, I know what " this" is. It's a scam, and we only deploy Linux here. (lie, we have Windows, Mac and Linux, as well as an iPhone, iPad and Android devices in the house, guess who is "support"...) But good luck with your next call.
He: (kind of friendly) oh. I see. Well have a nice day too.8
My tech stack progression:
Started with PHP without any frameworks, using a homegrown MVC architecture. Used to use `mysql_` functions everywhere. And only jquery + vanilla CSS in the front end.
Then moved to use PDO functions in PHP and Backbone.js + Less CSS in the front-end.
Then moved to Django in the back-end. Did not like Django very much as it is too opinionated and not flexible (although it's damn good for rapid development if you buy into their type of things).
Then moved to Flask + SQLAlchemy and using a home grown architecture. This is a sweet spot for me in terms of back end and stayed in this spot for the longest time.
Moved to Postgres from MySQL as I fell in love with Postgres.
Then learnt React+Redux. Liked it. Made most sense to front-end development this way. Moved front-end stack to React+Redux.
Learning Haskell and been working with Scotty and eyeing Servant for a while now.
Let's see where it goes from here.
PS: this is my personal journey through various tech stacks in various products at various companies I have worked. I'm not talking about moving a product through these many tech stacks. That doesn't make any sense.9
Been playing a lot of old NES games lately.
Made me think how did they develop and program such amazing games with primitive 80'-90's technologies, assembly/c and no internet.
Now with all the tech we have most games are crap and based on webshit or mobile.5
Tech support for Friend...
A friend ran down the hallway to my Appartement, I opened the door for him and asked him "What The Fuck... Is wrong with you?!" He was just coughing like...
My... Laptop.... Is... Slow...
When he then eventually came to the point where he could Breath normally again I asked him to login into his by then super with shitty software bloated PC... It was a mess... A Desktop full of Shit... only Shit... I
then opened Chrome and Task Manager...
and holy shit... EVERYTHING! Literally ANYTHING was under 100% Load... Yet his shitty Fans werent spinning up... Shutdown the Laptop and opened it... not to my surprise it was full of Dust... I cleaned it and booted it again... still 100% Load... I couldnt do shit without being bombarded with porn and Hentai Ads... So... I asked him "Did you make any backups to this machine?" He was like.. "*Really long explenation* No *Really long Explenation*"
Great... i thought to myself... Then I said to him his PC was so trash that i only could Reset it to 0... He was like DO ANYTHING YOU CAN LITERALLY ANYTHING!
I then explained him, Resetting this PC Means literally 0 A Fresh start, nothing of your data will be there literally nothing...
He again Was like DO IT!
So I did... When it was done i showed him the result... He FREAKED OUT LIKE THE WORLD WAS GOING TO FUCKING END, HE SCREAMED AT ME WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE? REVERSE IT! REVERSE IT NOW!
I Then said to him, I reset it to 0, I said this would happen...
He then took his now perfectly running Laptop and Ran away...
Tech support for friend, Reset PC to 0, Freaked out AF...4
So called my ISP because of slow internet
Me : Hey , slow connection
Him : Could you open up CMD
Me : I'm on linux
then the dude hangs up :/ another guy called later , I guess the tech support needed tech support , FML1
Had some beers with linuxxx once again. Good to catch up with a fellow devRanter! It's been too long, and I missed the tech talk.23
Here's a genuine rant for you. Probably the only one I've ever made and ever will..
It's a bit depressing and covers a few topics so just read it, it's important.
So, with the help of my friend and my Nana, I was getting VR set up. (Oh, what joy.)
Now, I love everything about VR. But the thing is, I've had this damned headset since may (Dell MMR) and I haven't been able to use it. The reason for that is, something always came up that I needed to buy and this became a huge deal.
But let's start from the beginning.. I'm curentally fighting depression. I have been for months. My only income is what my Nana gives me ($150/mo) and what my friend ocasinally gives me.
Anyways, the first issue was that I couldn't afford the headset. This was find, as my friend would get it for me, and I would pay them back the following month. But, then, once I got the headset that's when the real problems started. First it was that I needed bluetooth, so I bought an adapter. Then I realized my entire CPU was incompatable, so I had to get a new tower and I went ahead and got a new GPU as well. I also got a charging kit for my headset (This ended up making me owe my Nana money). Then after all of that was settled, I learned that the evauation software lied, and my computer doesn't have USB 3, so I need that too but low and behold; both of my graphics cards cover my second pcie slot. So my options are to either try and rig up something, or to buy a cpu and psu for my third AMD PC which I had forgotten about during this whole ordeal..
This was soposed to help me with my depression and stress. Now I don't even want to get out of bed.
With all that said, I might be getting on SSI soon (I'm sure some of you are familar with that, and no I don't want to talk about it) and when that happens I might just leave behind tech (well, my PC and games) and all the stress and pain it's caused me over my life so this was all for nothing.
Honestly.. I'm just done with everything. To all the new faces around here; Hello! How are ya? To everyone else; You know me. I've been around for a while, though I'm not popular because I lurked and commented with Alice. You all probably noticed that I left a while back, and it was because I was trying to get out of tech. My reason for tech was that I was searching for something. I was always looking for the next game to sate me, or fill this gap in my life. I became a programmer because it gave me control were I lacked it otherwise. I made friends online because my anxiety prevented me from doing so in the real world.
But to what end? What have I acomplished? My twenty second birthday is next month. I've no job, I move from family member to famly member because I'm so fixated on becoming someone else to make something of myself.
I have my own ideals, but it seems that I push them aside to try (and fail to) impress others.
It's time for change. Of course, I can't do anything without money, so I'll have to wait for my SSI which I will get news on in August.
I hope this message came through how I meant it to. There is so much I want to say, but I've no words to say them. And btw, the VR thing is just one of manny issue that i've delt with (but certanly the most expensive)
Alice, Zennoe (Alexis, whom is not on devrant); I'm not giving up tech entirely. don't expect to suddenly not hear from me. I'm mostly just giving up my computer and games. More casually so for now, and them more seriously once I get on SSI. I'll still message you every/other day like I have been. <328
Dear Tech-News Outlets,
Yes, I accept 30994 cookies and do not want to uncheck them one by one.
No, I don't want to subscribe to a newsletter full of content completely unknown to me - maybe let me stroll around a bit before asking me? But please don't ask me in the middle of reading the shitty article. Maybe make use of a so-called "sidebar" for shit like that?
Yes, I want to continue without turning off my adblock.
No thanks, I know how to turn it off, I'm going to remove this overlay now via devtools, alright?
An annoyed user7
So I've been applying to jobs. I, purposely, have been putting down that I am female (since they all harp on diversity, I'd like to see if they even bother reaching out to me. Also anything to get my resume past the bots).
Spoiler alert - getting similar ratios to male counterparts, 100+ applications sent, maybe 4 phone interviews. No offers yet. Still made to do code challenges.
Well, I just found out where all that diversity hiring went to. Buddy of mine who works at a mid tier company said that they have a special program that onboards women into tech.
Specifically, women who have literally zero background in computers.
Teachers, social workers, etc. They get a week or so of some coding bootcamp and then get full time positions over more skilled applicants.
This infuriates me. I literally would be in a better situation to be hired had I not have had any technical background, taken this particular bootcamp and finally net the elusive entry level position I need.
And guess what? That move has antagonized the existing male employees who see that they have zero interest and zero competency instead of having an integrated workplace.
10/10 for incredible bullshit.9
Applied for a Junior Front-End Developer position and didn't get it because I couldn't answer a HackerRank question that asked me to identify if the color of a pixel was geometrically closest to pure red, green, blue, white, or black using the Euclidean Distance between two color's with RGB components, given a sequence of 24 bits that represent a pixel. Maybe I'm just dumb but fuck tech hiring.11
My cousin's husband who's an engineer at Google asked me if the whole screen on my phone was a fingerprint scanner.
I just looked scared at him and said, "when are you from?! We don't have that kind of technology yet"5
I’m back for a fucking rant.
My previous post I was happy, I’ve had an interview today and I felt the interviewer acted with integrity and made the role seem worthwhile. Fuck it, here’s the link:
So, since then; the recruiter got in touch: “smashed it son, sending the tech demo your way, if you can get it done this evening that would be amazing”
Obviously I said based on the exact brief I think that’s possible, I’ll take a look and let them know if it isn’t.
Having done loads of these, I know I can usually knock them out and impress in an evening with no trouble.
Here’s where shit gets fucked up; i opened the brief.
I was met with a brief for an MVP using best practice patterns and flexing every muscle with the tech available...
Then I see the requirements, these fucking dicks are after 10 functional requirements averaging an hour a piece.
+TDD so * 1.25,
+DI and dependency inversion principle * 1.1
+CI setup (1h on this platform)
+One ill requirement to use a stored proc in SQL server to return a view (1h)
+UX/UI design consideration using an old tech (1-2h)
+unobtrusive jquery form post validation (2h)
+AES-256 encryption in the db... add 2h for proper testing.
These cunts want me to knock 15-20h of Work into their interview tech demo.
I’ve done a lot of these recently, all of them topped out at 3h max.
The job is middling: average package, old tech, not the most exciting or decent work.
The interviewer alluded to his lead being a bit of a dick; one of those “the code comes first” devs.
Here’s where shit gets realer:
They’ve included mock ups in the tech demo brief’s zip... I looked at them to confirm I wasn’t over estimating the job... I wasn’t.
Then I looked at the other files in the fucking zip.
I found 3 of the images they wanted to use were copyright withheld... there’s no way these guys have the right to distribute these.
Then I look in the font folder, it’s a single ttf, downloaded from fucking DA Font... it was published less than 2mo ago, the license file had been removed: free for Personal, anything else; contact me.
There’s no way these guys have any rights to this font, and I’ve never seen a font redistributed legally without it’s accompanying licence files.
This fucking company is constantly talking about its ethical behaviours.
Given that I know what I’m doing; I know it would have taken less time to find free-for-commercial images and use a google font... this sloppy bullshit is beyond me.
Anyway, I said I’d get back to the recruiter, he wasn’t to know and he’s a good guy. I let him know I’d complete the tech demo over the weekend, he’s looked after me and I don’t want him having trouble with his client...
I’ll substitute the copyright fuckery with images I have a license for because there’s no way I’m pushing copyright stolen material to a public github repo.
I’ll also be substituting the topic and leaving a few js bombs in there to ensure they don’t just steal my shit.
Here’s my hypotheses, anyone with any more would be greatly welcomed...
1: the lead dev is just a stuck up arsehole, with no real care for his work and a relaxed view on stealing other people’s.
2: they are looking for 15-20h free work on an MVP they can modify and take to market
3: they are looking for people to turn down this job so they can support someone’s fucking visa.
In any case, it’s a shit show and I’ll just be seeing this as box checking and interview practice...
Arguments for 1: the head told me about his lead’s problems within 20mn of the interview.
2: he said his biggest problem was getting products out quickly enough.
3: the recruiter told me they’d been “picky”, and they’re making themselves people who can’t be worked for.
I’m going to knock out the demo, keep it private and protect my work well. It’s going to smash their tits off because I’m a fucking great developer... I’ll make sure I get the offer to keep the recruiter looked after.
Then fuck those guys, I’m fucking livid.
After a wonderful interview experience and a nice introduction to the company I’ve been completely put off...
So here’s the update: if you’re interviewing for a shitty middle level dev position, amongst difficult people, on an out of date stack... you need people to want you, don’t fuck them off.
If they want my time to rush out MVPs, they can pay my day rate.
Fuuuuuuuuck... I typed this out whilst listening to the podcast, I’m glad I’m not the only one dealing with shit.
Oh also; I had a lovely discriminatory as fuck application, personality test and disability request email sent to me from a company that seems like it’s still in the 90s. Fuck those guys too, I reported them to the relevant authorities and hope they’re made to look at how morally reprehensible their recruitment process is. The law is you don’t ask if the job can be done by anyone.6
The NYC Lesbians Who Tech Summit starts today and I think I am in heaven. Hundreds of queer women and allies from software developers to executives in one space nerding out and empowering each other- ahhh!
Also, it has some of the best talk titles I've ever skimmed in a tech conference pamphlet. A sample:
"The Gift of Being a Lesbian Who Techs: Igniting Your Power to Lead"
"Space, Science & Religion: Why This Muslim Space Nerd Wants to Travel to Mars"
"How Tech is Revolutionizing the Billion Dollar Cannabis Industry, and Why Women are
"Ruthlessly Running in the Direction of Your Fears"
"No Gods, No Managers: How Anarchist Ideals Can Help Make Your Office & Open Source Project Better"
I love our community❤️ So amazing that it has come far enough for something like this to exist.16
Im gunna get a lot of flak for this but just hear me out:
People keep asking me what it's like working in a male dominated industry. They have conferences for women in tech empowerment and I get forced to go to them because I'm the only female in the office.
The thing is. I don't feel oppressed. I get that we "need" more women in tech but from my experience and from talking to various women at my old university, the reason women are avoiding the tech industry isn't because it's male dominated and they feel out of place. It's because a) it doesn't interest them or b) they never thought of it as an option (like myself).
Computer programming should be in grade schools and highschool's just like math and science to help educated not only women but people in general that it's an option. That's what's going to help more women get in the tech industry. Not these bullshit conferences and women's rights in tech movements, and hiring women over men (even if she's worse than him in skill level) just because she's a woman.
Frankly I think it's downright shameful that companies that are male dominated feel the need to hire women over men just because of gender. If I'm applying somewhere and there's a better male candidate, hire him! I'd much rather your company have a good team then a "balanced" team. Great tech teams are what will bring along new and better technologies, not balanced ones.
Keep in mind I'm talking about Western Civilization here, I get that a lot of countries are still struggling with the balance of women's rights at all but this is Canada.
I also get that there are probably some women who want to join tech but won't because it's too male dominated but frankly that's a shit poor excuse. If you really wanted to join tech then being surrounded by make co-workers wouldn't deter you from living your life the way you want to. If you feel so uncomfortable around men that you won't go into an industry you love because it's male dominated then I'm sorry for you and you should probably see a councillor to get that worked out.
I feel more oppressed by having to put aside my programming and being forced to go to these conferences than I do in the every day workplace. My boss is literally more offended that I don't feel offended about being a woman "minority". He spent a week pestering me about how I would feel about this, that and the other thing if it happened to me.
I'm not saying nobody ever says anything even remotely sexist to me but frankly I could give two shits- I'm here. I'm coding. I'm good at what I do and I'm comfortable enough with myself that I can just blow off the comment (which probably wasn't even meant to offend me) and continue working. But you're going to get that wherever you go, this isn't a flaw of the tech industry. This is a flaw of the world and it goes both ways (men get flak too).28
So, I found this :
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, HuntingAndFishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
Thanks ...Troubled User
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 installed and work on improving the configuration. I suggest installing the background application YesDear 99.0 to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to do this before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as CleanAndSweep 3.0, CookIt 1.5 and DoBills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0, but beware because sometimes these applications can be expensive.
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
WARNING!!! Attempting to install NewGirlFriend 8.8 along with Wife 1.0 will crash the system.
(see Wife 1.0 manual, Apologize, High Maintenance & Secretary with Short Skirt)7
TL;DR: stepmom, who is slightly nervous and impulsive at times, refuses to accept help after she asks for it, because she knows better.
$sm = stepmom, who is currently finishing her second degree (don’t ask)
$f = father, a sysadmin
$me = yours truly
Enter stage, a living room, $me is eating lunch while $sm, a fairly tech-illiterate woman, is finishing up a PowerPoint presentation for a course of hers.
$sm: *slightly nervous tone, as always* “I’m collaborating with $friend and I need her to fix this! She is taking the file to Uni tomorrow and I can’t edit the file. What should I tell her to do?”
$me: “show me what you want to have fixed”
$sm: *points at monitor* “here, look, it’s inconsistent here! What do you call that?”
$me: “tell her to make the formatting consistent. It’s called formatting”
$sm: “No, I want her exactly to know what she has to do!”
$me: “but I’ve just told you. Look, the formatting is all over the place. Bold here, italic there, Times new Roman here, [some other font] there, font sizes are inconsistent. That’s a formatting problem.”
$sm: “No! I demand that you tell me how you call this for real! I don’t want her to get confused”
$me: “It says that right here, there’s a button called apply formatting, that’s what you call it.”
$sm: “I don’t understand! You’re telling me wrong things!”
$me: “aren’t you supposed to know our way around MS office? How do you write your papers and stuff?”
$sm: “you’re so incompetent! I will ask your father!”
*cue the same discussion with my father*
$sm: “I thought you were both good at this, I’m just gonna google it up! If we get a bad grade, it’s gonna be your fault!”
It seems like my bloodline is cursed and destined to be the family tech support, as I share this destiny with my father.
Edit: how did this end up with the “random” tag??5
So, I'm studying computer engineering in school, so a lot of people have decided I'm the tech one in the group and come to me with all there computer problems.
I'm constantly explaining basic things about their computers, how to exit vim, why using git is a lot easier then having 100 versions of files, how to change directories from the terminal. Simple things like that and while I normally don't mind, all these people are also in computer engineering and should really know all this stuff too.8
That moment when you say you work as developer and someone respond : "Great, can you have a look at my microwaves?"6
Guys! @dfox is doing an interview at my local tech radio show! Check it out on tunein WLJS . I can't wait to hear his inspiration for devRant.12
Going to big box electronics stores and seeing how outrageously sales reps will lie to me when faced with questions above their paygrade, starting with high-level stuff and moving to outright bs technojargon
First, most legit question to a Best Buy rep: "I'm looking to set up a server to run a multiplayer game. Ideal specs?
Last question: how many gigaflops should the IP Stack of my rendering modem be?7
Just finished dinner and the phone goes:"hello I am phoning from Microsoft support" *cracks knuckles* let the games begin5
Saw a rant against "startup idea guys" and it got me thinking. A few years ago, I knew a guy. Business major, terrible at everything, but his daddy is getting him a job at a big 4 accounting firm with referrals from his frat brothers. I collect vintage watches (gotta have a hobby that isn't Netflix and anxiety,) and I figured I should make a small website, display my stuff and write a bit. He gets on board, talking about how it's gonna be the next big thing. It's not, because the market is very saturated, I mainly sell on forums and tbh just wanted to write and dick around on Wordpress. I buy our entire inventory, he blows the cash he was fronting on booze, says I "lack networking capabilities," and quits. His LinkedIn lists him as the former CEO of MY company which wasn't even incorporated enough for me to get it a business PayPal, and he is now working on a tech startup that... Wait for it... Is a social network and online marketplace for Ivy League students. I shit you not. He told me it's the "first of its kind." I signed up for lulz, and the verification email directed me to his backend directory with client logins and details in plain text 😂😂😂😂2
Freelance project I was working on was deployed. Without my knowledge. At 11pm. Their in-house "tech guy" thought that the preview build i gave them was good enough for deployment. Massive bug, broke their api endpoints.
Got a call at 2 in the morning,asking for a fix. I told them how it was their fault and the App they deployed had TESTING written right on the main screen.
They promised additional payment to get me to fix it asap.
Went through the commit history (thank goodness their tech guy knew git, fuck him for committing on production though) and the crash reports.
Removed three lines. All became right with the world again. 😎2
When I am telling non-tech people that I am studying Software Engineering:
They: What do you study at university?
Me: Software Engineering
They: Oh, so you're an engineer! My *some random person* is also an engineer!
Me: No, not that kind of engineer. I am a SOFTWARE engineer. I don't build things.
Me: I write code. Programs. For computers. I a programmer.
They: oh, great, very perspective! Will you fix my *PC/printer/whatever has on/off button on it*?
To people who have done tech support:
Shoot me. Do you know what it is like to teach kids to use a mouse? Or even type in a keyboard? They don’t even know how to double click. Gotta call google chrome the circle of colors for them to understand. Some think the video that is giving the instructions is actually them doing it. So when it ends they are like alright done.
FYI: working in an internship currently where we teach kindergarten up until 5th graders from scratch to Minecraft modding. Btw it is an unpaid internship.11
Saw this on Facebook and couldn't help but share here! 😂
A young woman submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship to her husband) presumably did it as a joke…
Dear Tech Support,
’Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
The response (that came weeks later out of the blue):
“First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0.Good Luck!’
A friend of mine who works in tech support at a college gets this call. The guy on the other end (a college professor) asks how to open an application on his computer.
Tech Support: "There should be an icon on your desktop."
He then hears this strange rustling noise over the phone.....
Tech Support: "What are you doing?"
Professor: "You said to look on my desktop."
Tech Support: "Ummm, hang on. I'll be there in a few minutes."1
Yeey, my mom just called me that when I got home I'd have to fix the neighbour's TV. Because after 10 hours of school the only thing I want to do is fill in the role of a free tech support.3
If you don't know how to explain about your software, but you want to be featured in Forbes (or other shitty sites) as quickly as possible, copy this:
I am proud that this software used high-tech technology and algorithms such as blockchain, AI (artificial intelligence), ANN (Artificial Neural Network), ML (machine learning), GAN (Generative Adversarial Network), CNN (Convolutional Neural Network), RNN (Recurrent Neural Network), DNN (Deep Neural Network), TA (text analysis), Adversarial Training, Sentiment Analysis, Entity Analysis, Syntatic Analysis, Entity Sentiment Analysis, Factor Analysis, SSML (Speech Synthesis Markup Language), SMT (Statistical Machine Translation), RBMT (Rule Based Machine Translation), Knowledge Discovery System, Decision Support System, Computational Intelligence, Fuzzy Logic, GA (Genetic Algorithm), EA (Evolutinary Algorithm), and CNTK (Computational Network Toolkit).
🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣3
It seems as if my parents delete SYSTEM32 folder each time I visit them 😂.
How do you keep your parents from breaking their phone of pc?9
I work as the entire I.T. department of a small business which products are web based, so naturally, I do tech support in said website directly to our clients.
It is normal that the first time a new client access our site they run into questions, but usually they never call again since it is an easy website.
There was an unlucky client which ran into unknown problems and blamed the server.
I couldn't determine the exact cause, but my assumption was a network error for a few seconds which made the site unavailable and the user tried to navigate the site through the navbar and exited the process he was doing. It goes without saying but he was very angry.
I assured him there was nothing wrong with the site, and told him that it would not be charged for this reason. Finally i told him that if he had the same problem, to let me know instead of trying to fix it himself.
The next time he used the site I received a WhatsApp message saying:
- there is something clearly wrong with the site... It has been doing this for so long!
And attached was a 10 second video which showed that he filled a form and never pressed send (my forms have small animations and text which indicates when the form is being send and error messages when an error occurs, usually not visible because the data they send is small and the whole process is quite fast)
To which I answer
- It seems that the form has not been send that's why it looks that way
- So... What an I supposed to do?
- click send
It took a while but the client replied
To this day I wonder how much time did the client stared at the form cursing the server.
who remembers the dial up internet time? When i was little i use to dial a lot to surf the web. How about you?12
I kind of wish I was young enough that by the time I was 20 I would live in a society where technology is so seamlessly ingrained in our world that it's almost a given... connected cities, cars, people.
Like Neuromancer or something.
A beautiful technology utopia (or dystopia. I'm not fussed).6
Do you folks listen to podcasts? What are your favorite ones? The ones I listen to weekly are Geekrant, Linux Gamecast Weekly, and Linux Weekly Daily Wednesdays (done by the LGC group). I'm looking for more tech related ones, though.8
Every 2019 tech startup: We do deep machine learning with big data in the cloud.
Investors: Please take our money!7
Don't ever talk to non-tech people about tech. It'll fuck up your mood.
I've talked to a non-tech person lately, so...9
Merriott got hacked. I know the head (and only) tech at a local hotel/resort that just got bought and turned into a Margaritaville, so I checked in with him to see if he needed any help or advice or anything, and he said he hasn't slept since the attack and probably won't for another week. Everything's on lockdown, he's been staring at the firewall monitor and public PC feeds for like a week straight...
God, I feel bad for this man.2
Never knew words like “API” “PHP” “Backend Server” “Objective C” “C++” “Java” can be such a turn on when coming out of a female’s mouth in a meaningful order...
At my previous job I used to deal directly with a client. This client wasn't particularly tech savvy although he was the head of IT department.
During the beta testing phase of the project. The client would regularly send me emails with snapshots of his laptop with application open accompanied by some amount of text to explain what the error/problem he was facing.
One fine day I got an email with a very wierd error. It was a module for attendance of employees based on which salaries were calculated. The mail had a snapshot and some text saying that he was unable to see the attendance for the dates 22, 23, 24 and so on...
I immediately replied with a snapshot of the calendar highlighting the date, which was the 21st of the month. Those attendance are empty because they haven't been marked yet.
No reply untill the next day with more "errors" 😂4
This will definitely trigger some people.
New smartphone releases aren't 'tech news'.
An implementation of a technology ripped off from other devices (GPS, VR etc..) isn't 'tech news', it's just implementation of an existing technology.
So please, everyone who reads the self-called 'tech news' to look for a new phone release to waste money on - stop calling yourself a 'tech geek' - "Oh my god, I'm such a tech geek, it's embarrassing - this new iPhone was released and I just couldn't wait to get spend my money on it".
Just shut the fuck up - you are willingly dragging a tracking device everywhere you go and you are PAYING for it to look cool and be full of features you won't even fucking use.10
I provide hosting for my clients. About 3 months ago I discovered that the hosting company that I'd been using had been swallowed up by EIG, which explained why the tech support had gone downhill.
So, I jumped to another hosting company. Same shit different company!
Apparently the fact that my browsers sit at "connecting" for up to 30 seconds, and I get a "could not connect to" message half the time while I'm trying to fucking work on a deadline is the fault of some plug-in in a WordPress installation!
Oh yeah? Why then does this shit happen when I'm working on a pure html/css site?
Why then did it start happening after they "updated" my shared server?!
Oh, but the bastards suggest that I buy Cloudflare or pay for more space!
You fuckers made my work take 3 times as long, and you made an important migration fail!
Network places make mistakes. We all do. That's cool. Fucking own up to it, talk to me like a techie, and DON'T TRY TO BLAME IT ON ME OR MY TOOLS!
Fuck you! I think I'm gonna give Google Cloud a try, and do this shit myself!7
Title: Google can track your porn history, even in incognito mode
Body(tl;dr version): Pornsites use Google Analytics
You little idiotic motherfucking tech savvy wannabe, most of the websites use some form of user tracking services.
Hell, even the blog/news website you work for probably does.22
Last year I was nominated for a reward by some tech internship 'charity' who helped me get my university placement.
It was about having made the most contribution and personal progress. I spent the whole year working solo projects and building small web applications and websites for customers having never written a line of even html before I started.
The girl that won did so because she wrote a couple python scripts to query mysql databases and put it on a table and spent an entire year learning how to do this. Confusingly the judges also told me that programming wouldn't be too hard because it's just copy pasting anyway.2
How often do women bring up their own gender in tech interviews? I've never done it, and I've never interviewed anyone, but I'm curious about whether it's ever explicitly mentioned (beyond a, "I'm in a women in tech group" or "I mentor young girls in my free time").
I don't want to start any debates. Just curious about what people on the Other Side of the Table see.21
Working in a tech company as a project manager, the CEO asked me: a client requested to code the frontend with something call active java, are you familiar with it?
Me: well, it must be a new tech.."searched online..", no results found.
After calling the client, he was asking about React native.🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
Me and my team has been creating React components for the last two months. Today we realized that not a single component is done the Redux way (as pure functions), which means we have to refactor every component and the tests.
That's what you get for trying out new technology..3
So the tech lead of the project I'm working on, who is definitely not suited for the role, had to clone one of our repos so we could work on the original and then merge them to the clone.
So yeah I worked and when started making the PR, it didn't allow me. Hmm I wonder why.
So I opened the cloned repo. Hmm, well looks good. So I go to commit section and.. where are all the commits? Why is there a single big ass commit that doesn't even want to load.
This dude just made a folder, git init, ctrl+c ctrl+v all the files and made a SINGLE big commit that adds all the files to the project.
The guy doesn't even know what forking is, let alone knowing about retaining commit history.
You dumb bitch, and then you act all tech leady like you know stuff. No, you don't.13
Today in the tech store I asked an assistant where to find the CAT6 ethernet cables.
He said he didn't know and ended up in asking me for technical support.4
A friend sent me this message today: Hey, I have a great idea! An app that remembers your address so that when you are buying something online you don't have to type in your address.
Me: - (giggling)
Me: That's a great idea! I use it everyday. It's called Google Chrome!5
What do you think about ageism in the tech industry? I see articles where Facebook/Google pride themselves that their employee median age is not over 30. Why is that of any importance? Is it hard for seasoned developers to find a job or adapt to the "youth culture" in tech companies? Any of you felt bullied by your younger colleagues? Finally, will this change in the next 10 years since developers in their 20s will be approaching their 40s, or once they reach that age they will go to the special developer graveyard and commit harikiri?4
(Call from a distant family member I know by name only)
Him: Hey, blah it's been awhile blah hey so I have this problem with my printer and...
Him: What do you mean you don't know about printers, can I bring it to your hou...<*click*>4
To any and all family members, before requesting my help with the printer/computer/electronic device follow these steps to make sure I don't get irritated.
1. Make sure it's plugged in.
2. Turn it off then back on
3. Turn it off, unplug it for around 30s, turn it back on.
4. Request help
Why is this so hard to grasp? I don't want to stop my workflow with an issue that could be resolved in less than a minute!1
I finally got a job at a tech company (although it's not a tech job) with a very good work/life balance.
Therefore, I plan on getting more serious about properly learning how to program in my spare time, also because, being a tech company, programmers are all over the place and are generally willing to talk about code.
I must say that while job hunting, devRant has been very useful to me since it allowed me to understand what kind of environment I'd like to work in. So far, the first few weeks of work have been great.
Ah, and the view from the office is unbeatable.7
I study and work as a tech support guy in a company and the head of Android development wanted to speak to me : want to help us with some changes in the app? Now I am a junior Android developer. Not even mad 🤔3
A guy came to me with a laptop that wouldn't boot. After some poking around, I opened the machine just to find everything submerged in coffee. No sh*t your computer doesn't work..3
Printer cable 20 years old, I miss you.
You remind when I was young, I used windows 98 and I do not know linux1
I'm of Indian descent and I just stepped into a meeting where some American project managers couldn't understand tech support 's accent. it wasn't them though, because I couldn't understand the guy's thick Indian accent either.2
F*** companies that give you a coding project to work on and still haven't responded a month after submission. Tech interviews are so beyond f***ed.3
My computer is so out of date at this point, I measure compile time by the amount of times I can spin around on my chair, I'm at 48, if I get to 50 I think something magic might happen.2
I always hear "its impossible to talk to tech people, its like they're from another planet". Well get used to it, cuz the nerds shall inherit the earth!!2
So I have been a fly on the "wall" for last couple of months and never signed up, but now here I am!
Rant is about a serious topic - gender gap in tech industry!!
Couple of months ago Stackoverflow announced developer survey results! I was shocked by demographics results! It was disappointing to see biggest gender gap in general tech industry!
I believe tech industry can be the first one to have equal pay for women!
However.... (bad part)
I was going through my twitter feeds and saw this! Many of you have seen this tweet too.
(ohh!fuck I cant attach multiple images here, I should have created Medium post, fuck it!)
"They" continue, quoting from the tweet.
1)"....bias in society is reflected in AI"
2) "However, I do think it is our responsibility as designers/developers/users to be aware of this bias and do our best to correct it."
I want to rant about 2nd one. Some of you may not like it including grammar naziz!
As a developer/programmer I take 2nd one personally! I am currently at denial phase though!
And I have an OCD so gonna make points here!
1) Seriously tell me please, how the fuck you can write gender bias algorithm which can pass a big crazy amount of test suite?
2) Google has done many things for last decade to overcome gender gap related issues. I have met some of the nicest people from Google, and this is really hard for me to believe that google AI or that team has anything to do with the results!
3) Someone suggests use "they" in google translated result, can you fucking imagine how wrong that would be??? If I am developer working on that algo or even in that team and I see this ticket in jira with highest priority where it says, "make all translated results gender neutral using only they" - I would fucking like to die and may be in my next life ask me to do that, when I am a toddler!
4) I am an advocate for equal pay, equal rights and equal opportunities for everyone to "minify" this gender gap in tech, but showing google translate results of a gender natural language to make a point is wrong, it is simply undermining the efforts of something really helpful thing.
5) Moving on to the core point - What can be done to lower down the gender gap? I have seen amazing women who can code/manage far far far better than what I ever could imagine, and they are at really good place and deserve to be there. Are they doing enough to inspire other women to join tech industry?
Collective efforts are very much required. And need to keep in consideration that tech industry is highly competitive roles are also changing rapidly.
6) Many big companies have women at higher positions(CEO, CFO,....) what are their efforts to bring more women in tech industry?
(Some of you may not like this, as this is implying that it isn't only men's job. )
7) Going slightly political here, everyday we see really disappointing news related to women and their rights and health, I strongly believe women don't have to ask for or even have to mention about "equal rights" about anything. Everyone is equal!!!
This is 2017 and still fucked up!
Thats all for today! Heading for breakfast!26
Qt vs HTML5 everywhere, but not a single line of code in these blog posts about it.
Good job pseudo-tech-bloggers.🙄
And that comparsion. Qt vs Angular. What the fuck. Nobody uses fucken Angular.10
When an employee has a problem and calls tech support and you ask them to switch off their computer and they proceed to turning off the screen 😑1
Got convinced to work with a boss who seem to know it all in tech.
I honestly thought he knew tech, to code at least.
And then one day he referred to Java as the same as JavaSrcipt.
If you woke up tomorrow and it was the year 2000, but you only remembered tech stuff from the future. What would you do?11
@cozyplanes birthday is coming.....
And my dad is asking if I want some presents....
But I can't think of one.
I already have decent headphones and earphones, speaker, keyboard, mouse, laptop, monitor, phone, and tablet...
I personally don't need anything now, but I want to get something.
Can anyone recommend hardware stuff for me? (not software) Mostly tech related, but if you can think of music stuff or leisure stuff (like boosted board, even tho I don't have the time to ride it), that's great too!
Will waiting for you guys/gals suggestions.
P.S. Ofc I want to get my own A320 or A350, but I am pretty sure my dad can't afford it. If any of you guys/gals have the money, please contact me.18
Everyone > I hate cables, they're stupid... why isn't everything wireless by now!?
Apple > Try these EarPods, they're wireless!!
Everyone > These are stupid! I just want to use my wired headphones!3
Ahhhh, devRant, the last holy place where you can carelessly read without being flushed with fucking foodball news.
Only the tech thingies I like so much, all year long. Devrant, I love you!2
Got my first real tech job today working as an on-campus computer resource assistant for my university's graduate school in education! Finally making a step in my career path and doing something I will enjoy for a change.1
Just visited my new office! Tech offices are the best IMO. Open office plan, fully stocked pantry, bean bags, and a lot of cool stuff. Wayyy better than my previous job where we literally had desks and a coffee machine.5
My grandmother recently died and me and my brother were wondering what was to happen to her 10+ year PC (Dell optiplex 760). I could find a use for the monitor and my brother wanted to use it as a server. We asked around at the family and everyone seemed ok with that except for one guy..
Apparently the PC is still in "prime condition" running Windows 7 after an upgrade from Vista. It has 'a graphics chip or something like that' and is better than any laptop on the market right now. (I actually had my HP zBook 15 g3 with me). He claimed it wasn't some old worthless piece of junk and most family members would probably be interested in this machine.
I didn't try to argue because I realized he was not at all knowledgeable about technology and I didn't want to be disrespectful.3
Small update to this rant
A classmate of mine lend me his old laptop with an SSD and an HDD and I could install Ubuntu Budgie on it and use it while my laptop is under repairment. The thing is, this temporary laptop is pretty awesome and fast and the fact that I don't have to deal with all the NVidia proprietary drivers and other gaming laptop bs makes me pretty happy
Update to the story above: the HDD of the temporary laptop died (didn't have anything important on it, so no problem). But I must be going through some bad omen tech times, since, beside my laptop and this HDD dying, my cooking plate, inflatable mattress, some sockets and lightbulbs broke inside my apartment. Hail!
Scored another win as the family tech guy! I found out my wife's sister and her husband were storing all their passwords in a Excel spreadsheet. Long story short they are now using a password manager. 😁2
So now you can sent email straight in email@example.com
Special tech support for people, who leave 1star review
Why do tech impaired people always break their tech and they have "no idea" how it broke...
Seriously? What did you do? You know what you were doing? Were you touching random setting again? For fuck sakes just tell me. You've fucking it up 3 times this week already it's not like I don't know your an incompetent prick.4
My 8 year old nephew gave me a call
nephew: I think I deleted recycle bin
Me: you need to make some settings for it to show on the desktop
Nephew: what should I do
Since I was on Ubuntu and he was on windows I made few guesses
Me: right click the mouse go to personalization then click on theme
Nephew: okay wait......done now
Me: what do you see on the top left
Me: hang yourself1
!dev but tech related...
Got a device configured in a location that is fairly far away from me. It operates only through a cloud service specifically for these devices, with one of the most unreliable web interfaces and smartphone apps I have ever used.
I email my issues to the tech support who don't seem to understand the problems and can't fathom the difference between "reset settings" and "restart device".
Eventually they need to log in to my account to find out whats wrong. I explicitly state that under no circumstances should any settings be changed.
Today I find that the device has been removed from the cloud account. I physically must be near it to register it on the account again. Tech support don't seem to know what happened and the best explanation is that it is "a glitch". They have no way to add it back themselves. I have to travel to the device.
Funny how this happened after I let them access the account...
qberry1 [2:54 PM]
routers need to go on the technology list of shitty tech
qberry1 [3:04 PM]
working on a rant
may post it on devrant
Here is a list of technologies that I hate.
Can we not make a printer that isn't a POS? We've been making them for years and they still suck.
It is supposed to be convenient, but it never pairs when you want it to. It is always when you are driving and dont have time to mess with it that it doesn't work.
See above for details.
Can we not make a router that lasts longer than a year?
trying to think of more shit
lquessenberry [3:05 PM]
God Damn Laptop Hinges
On anything but MacBooks
qberry1 [3:05 PM]
what a load of shit
lquessenberry [3:09 PM]
Yeah fucking 48 bit napster mp3s sound better than Satellite radio
qberry1 [3:09 PM]
if i wanted to hear music that sounds like ballsack i'll go download it from napster
lquessenberry [3:09 PM]
qberry1 [3:09 PM]
lquessenberry [3:10 PM]
Fuck it dude, copy paste this convo as the rant
Oh dude and fucking self serve checkouts. Fuck that shit.
I forgot how exhausting being tech support can be. I tried helping my dad update his WhatsApp earlier. He barely knows how to even use a smartphone, let alone how to update apps. I ofc auto-enabled updates through WiFi, but for some godforsaken reason he isn't connected anymore. So yeah, I've been trying to remotely troubleshoot a phone of someone who doesn't understand there's a difference between an app and the Google search bar, and that you can swipe on phones. ~.~
And if you read this until the end, have a cookie 🍪 and / or a beer 🍺- I'm having one myself now, after this, cheers!2
Going back home for the holidays means becoming tech support for pretty much the whole family, unluckly.
As soon as I enter my grandparent's home, my grandpa says "Could you print some emails?". I open his laptop, and I start sweating as soon as I see the Windows XP logo popping up. He (obviously) doesn't remember his password, and the only way to access his (mostly defunct) web mail service is Outlook 2003. For some reason, the web mail provider's POP3 server dies, and i spend half an hour trying to explain it. I ended up leaving with him saying "Why are you even going to a computer engineering university."
I am a Poet, Musician and Coder - plus I love art. I believe there should be a proper intersection between technology and the arts.
I want to create the largest tech consortium for the arts globally. One that will motivate and inspire artists, the world around. I want to build the tools they require to succeed, and give them the best platform imaginable.
I want the obscure of the world to be given a voice, because of my technology. And for this, and I need to build a family - more than just a business. I am motivated enough to do by this. I have begun already.
The technical incompentency of the people I try to help with their tech problems, is utterly astounding. Especially family members. For the love of God, if somebody is offering you tech support, put in at least some minimal degree of effort!
Ugh fuck living in Australia trying to buy tech, wanted to treat myself and get a Skagen falser smartwatch. Nope, but we ship to the US...
Always having to pay extra for the same product, pissed me off when people were complaining that $60 is too much for a AAA game and here we are sitting at base of $100.
Can people start realising other countries want tech as well?
Every other Smartwatch other than ticwatch aren't available in Australia, I just want something minimal and with a metal body, fuck companies man -,-5
So according to my manager its not really acceptable for me to sit at my desk and vent about what a colossal idiot my Tech Lead is. Fair enough i suppose. even though he feels the need to chime in on every technical decision when he himself doesnt understand how async code works. he thinks you can set a variable inside a promise and then return that variable outside the promise, because its after the call. This guy is a senior software engineer on an iOS team and I, a trainee, have more iOS experience than him.2
So, i bought samsung 850 evo 250gb, and i noticed that performance is lower then it supposed to be (according to userbenchmark and crystal disc mark), drive is pluged into sata 3 port and samsung rapid technology shows up as unavalible. I havent researched this problam yet.
Any of you have idea whats wrong?14
Planned on installing Linux, for the first time, on a old computer today. Turns out you need a usb-stick to install it from. Minimum 2gb. - No problem, I thought, because I have a old stick in a drawer. Turns out it was on 128mb. Outdated technology. Time to go shopping.4
Developers. !=. God's of tech
Do ppl really think we know every single big apps error codes?!?!
Isint tht Googles job, I Google errors and solutions every day for like 1015 times.
I didn't realise just how retarded people are when they call tech support.
Working combined line 1/2 tech support and people just describe shit in the most unhelpful way ever.2
I remember making a site for a client, where whilst registering an account you would get a checkbox for whether you want to signup for the newsletter or not.
But I never added any functionality to that checkbox.
So, whether you check it or not, you would still get the newsletters. 😁😋
I bet there are many other sites, who do this.1
Definitely when my boss got me super hyped up that we were gonna start using MongoDB/node.js/angular or react, I spent hours learning the languages.
Then he comes up to me a few weeks later and decides to “pivot”
I wanted to cry. Back to coldfusion2
The best way to get funding from VCs now is to include the following words: ML, AI, IoT. To even blow their minds more, add Blockchain.2
i often do tech support in chat rooms in my free time (because i like spreading good will,) so here's a tech horror story
"hey, can you help me fix something?"
"so i dug my old XP machine out of my closet and replaced the bad Ethernet card with a different one and when i plug in the ethernet cable the PC bluescreens."
did you install the drivers? Sounds like it needs drivers
then install them
"it doesn't need any"
why do you say that?
"it said \"This device is set up and ready to use.\" in the balloon in the corner"
it has generic drivers to deal with devices before the real drivers can be found
"shouldn't they work?"
some devices need the extra support provided by the intended drivers, so the generic ones cause issues in those cases
"ok, well, where do I find them?"
do you have a model number?
"yes, it's " # scrubbed for... privacy? i dunno
gimme a few minutes
<insert 45 minutes of aggressive Googling for (str(DEVICE_MODEL_NUMBER) + " xp drivers")>
alright i have the drivers, go here:
# again, removed for... idk.
"they don't work"
# oh here we go
"These drivers are not compatible with your system architecture."
what version of XP are you using?
x86 or x64?
ok so this is gonna get real complicated real fast: use x86 XP or I can't help you, none exist for x64 XP.
<User left the IRC channel.>
Halt and Catch Fire is having another great season. Lived those days and it is so true. CompuServe, Compaq, Commodore, 5 1/4", Tandy 1000, Byte Mag, Atari, The Well... The tech you see is really 1985ish. Attention to detail is appreciated by long time technologists.
H&CF is about building a tech business and much applies to today's startups. That two brilliant tech women are leading the charge adds to it. All the characters are great Cameron, Gordon, Donna, the devs at Mutiny and Joe channeling Jobs (in my opinion) is spot on.
Any H&CF fans have an opinion?4
Relative phones up worried about installing Adblocker as it "can store and modify the websites you visit"...my answer.."so can GCHQ, NSA AND CIA so just give in to the fact that you have no privacy and click ok"...*long pause*.."ok one more question, what's a chrome extension?"..FML
I am going to an AI conference in Berlin (which is kinda far away from me) next month.
I am just learning AI & ML and integrating them into a personal project, but I am going there to meet people, learn and gather info.
Do you have any advice on how I could network with people that are masters in this area?11
--- Giant corp, tech leads not really know how to be proper engineers and leverage the tools ---
We had a need to scale up, on demand some of our server apps. Plain horizontal scaling. Like when the CPU is more than 80%, bootstrap a clone and do a load balance.
AFAIK all major cloud services, offer such functionality with little extra configuration.
But no, some people are better than that. Amazon, Google, and Microsoft don't know about scaling, according to them.
So whats their proposed solution? We build an endpoint inside the service(s) we want to scale and when this endpoint is hit, the application clones itself. Just like Pokemon do.
It doesn't matter that now the servers are extremely under-utilized. What matters is that we don't need those cloud companies. And of course that our ego got a great boost.
Thank you for your time.2
WTF IS THIS? Been popping up all day.... I tried googling but official support says to uninstall Office and Visual Studios....
WTF MSFT!!!! Quite frankly it feels even tech support at tech companies aren't very competent.... just staffed by a bunch of call center monkeys?5
Giving a short talk on technical debt at our monthly meeting tomorrow. I hope it helps people in my organization understand why we need to take care of all the quick and dirty work we do. I'm tired of people saying how long updates take and the reason is because we cause the problems.3
I hate that i feel like I should be coming up with the next great tech innovation just because I'm in the industry. The onus is put on us to create the next Facebook and make a success of it, when no one would expect an electrician to create the next light bulb or a store worker to create the next great product. Why do we put this pressure on ourselves?1
What i thought to be a cool company, turned out to be a shitshow.
Our "Team Lead" when assigning tasks keeps saying things like "it's only..." or "It's just..." or "You only need to change one line [there]..." And that's in regard to a terrible product with a pile of tech debt. So when you actually start to develop/fix things, you end up redoing third of the whole application.
How do you deal with this? How do you tell the "leader" that he should look into what we have in a code before making us all look bad for doing "just this one line change"?3
Just finished watching "Halt and Catch Fire" on Netflix. If you haven't checked it out, you definitely should. It's about 80s tech disruptions. Also, any other suggestions for tech related TV series / movies? Silicon Valley, Mr. Robot etc.?8
Has any of the women in here dealt with "too politically correct" in the office that it's awkward? My boss refuses to just say guys even though I told him I feel singled out when he adds "gal". Or that I can't be better at social skills bc that tends to be stressed more if you're a female; nope i need to find a different reason now. Or telling me how I need to be involved in women's rights movements, those women are actually doing something to make a difference. I mean I'm glad that he's trying to fight for equality, and I know it can be so much worse, but I feel like I'm being corrected on how I should be as a female. Any suggestions? Or am I just being sensitive?8
Guy on Slack creates a subreddit named after a popular tech community group. Guy isn't admin of the said community. Didn't bother to ask permission from the admins to use the community name. Didn't even care to poll people if they want a subreddit. In fact he is in danger of getting kicked out by the admin for being a know-it all attention seeker, and for reasons I don't know why.
No one cares, people question him why a subreddit is necessary. Only three out of 3000 people join. Subreddit is deserted.
He then gets reality callout from a member who then tells him flatly that nobody is interested in his subreddit. Then he goes on Facebook whining how everyone is bullying him lmao.
Yeah do more stupid shit like that and you'll get called out every time. Please stop playing the victim.7
More tales from University Tech Support:
Haven't been able to get ahold of this staff member for weeks to do required maintenance. Emails, VMs, surprise office visits, she's never anywhere to be found.
Finally my boss emails her with the subject line "Free Money", and gives her some sass in the email about calling IT back.
Yeah, she responded in minutes...2
Dad: Hey, how do I make a program work when it's not working?
Me: Guess what, I've looking for the answer to that exact same question for a while now, but I still haven't found it. I'll make sure to tell you when I do.
(Clarification: He's not a dev, he was actually talking about some 10 year old version of some program not launching in Windows 10)
Everytime i buy any electronics , my brother would suggest me to buy latest ones with the newest configuration . His logic was " If you buy a not-so new tech now.. It will outdate fast and you will end up with an outdated one soon.. So the extra 10K is worth considering that " .
Considering the development trend i personally think it is useless to invest in electronics unless necessary . Everytime i buy an electronic product , within 2 or 3 months i find the same good at almost 75% of the price.. So with tech prices falling like this.. i think it is worth saving that money instead of the cutting edge tech which i wont need for another 2 years .
(The cousin brother i mentioned does this everytime he buys a phone and ends up changing the phone 4 times faster than me.. and the use case is similar to mine if not worse..)1
I actually can't really program but I did my first copy and paste program cause I wanted to annoy a friend by opening and closing his cd drive non stop... Well most people don't know what cd drives are these days anyways... Imagine it like your pc constantly unmounting the USB thumbdrive or external HDD.1
A friend who's working as a contractor for a huge client decided to rewrite their interface cause it's old and not user friendly with new tech. Fast forward the client said it's not what they asked for, he should'nt have done that and they'll not be using it. He replied: "I've done it for myself to be up to date. I found a new company here's my resignation".1
Nothing worse that watching a tech talk where the presenter is accidentally condescending.
It's definitely a "know your audience" situation, but it's cringe worthy when explaining a really valuable topic.
That moment, in a meeting when you are trying to show a technical flaw in a manager idea... And suddenly you have a déjà vu moment from the "The Expert" comic sketch...
For those who get nervous when it comes to the technical interview, you should check out https://interviewing.io it allows you to practice the tech interview anonymously with developers from some of the bigger companies.1
Currently at Google Next. Enjoying my first tech conference / show.
Just felt like I should check in. What are you guys up to?
Reporting server connection to database is down, probably due to a user access restriction.
reported the issue to the India sql datacenter and got back: Yes, We see that the connection is down. ( I sent them screenshot of it including the error message ) There is no such database available.
Me: Yes, well I'm in the db working right ( send screenshot) now.
India: ..... disappear offline.1
Whenever I feel down, I watch documentaries and movies related to tech. They bring back the motivation and spirit in me. :)2
okay just had a mind blown moment.
there are never 'technical errors'
everything is human error.
because at some point, a human started/caused whatever went wrong.
whether it was the fact that a human didn't account for something or made bad code, or made bad hardware,
every tech issue is a human one.
Scheduled an on-site. *internal screaming*
Does anyone have any resources for studying distributed computing and operating system topics or have any pointers for studying for a systems design interview?
Also, how did y’all get comfortable with recursion? I don’t have issues with problems I already know the solutions to but it’s like when that’s not the case my brain just goes into panic mode for a bit.
Teach me your ways?7
From time to time our internet slows down to 10kbit and latency goes over 1000ms or just cuts out completely and everyone starts screaming at me to fix it, what am I?! The fucking ISP's tech. support?!!! When it goes down it goes down, I can't do anything about it, I keep reminding everyone to keep a copy of their stuff on the NAS so they have access to it when this happens, no one ever listens to me! The only person that uses the NAS is me...
While it's true that all tech stacks (web, Flutter, Electron) have their use cases, I can't help but sometimes think tech stack evangelists use the muh use case as an emotional appeal to excuse their pet tech stacks from being called shit.
For example, why put a premium on doing an app using Cordova when you can do it natively? Why make something in Electron when you can do it in good ol' fashioned UWP?
Yes I am starting a fight here.9
I fucking hate it when big companies release a video with the new tech they developed and they jerk off about the great discovery they made in video format.
I mean, they usually are great discoveries but the "verborragia" (a spanish portmanteau between verb and haemorrhage) is unsufferable.
I'm feeling this way specifically about the microsoft videos. "Just get to the goddamn fucking point. What did you fucking develop exactly?"
They usually go like this:
(Play sad reverbed piano)
Trees are life. Have you ever been a tree? Everyday thousands of trees are being torn apart from their daddy trees. When a tree is removed to be processed into paper, dozens of pretty little dwarves go homeless.
That's why at Microdick we are working on one of the most trascendental advancements of the 21st century.
We are working really hard to take into account every aspect of environmentability to bring humanity closer to what it is to feel like a tree.
We are pushing forward what it means to be a tech company today and we are finding new creative ways to inflate our ego, as a way to pretend we're not dying like the rest of normal human beings.1
Tales from University Tech Support:
Me: please send us 2 or 3 times you're available for us to troubleshoot that issue
Them: I'm available at 3:30
Obviously not a Math Major...
After weeks of constant rush, I finally managed to have one week dedicated entirely to reduce Tech Debt.
It felt so good to close all these todos, finally write those tests, that documentation :)1
Can we talk about tech recruiter for a moment?
If you don't mind me sharing, I've found the field of tech recruiting to be rather venonmess. I seem to have met a significant number of "tech recruiters" who have had the priority of filling their candidate-to-employer pipeline, with little regard for my needs.
As I've grown from a Junior Developer to an early stage Senior Developer, I've come to realize, had I actually gotten some of those jobs, how much I was being set up for failure, and how fortunate it probably was for my career that I didn't get some of the jobs I had interviewed for. I guess that bad taste never left my mouth. I am now very cautious when dealing with technical recruiters to the point where it's practically impossible to get me to send one my resume unless it's an extremely rare opportunity. I now rely almost solely on networking to find opportunities.
What are your experiences? Have I been unlucky? Should I be so distrustful?
End of rant6
What's a good website to get tech news and help me stay up to date? I'm interning for a company and most times I get lost when they start discussing new tech I've never even heard about.9
Part of my remote work is to have a daily call reporting in on what I have done yesterday and what I am about to today. My colleague calls me for it. She's hired as a tech support and is suddenly assigned to take note and report on my work activities to our boss. Several times, I caught her pretending to know what I'm talking about like with Puppet configurations, Firewall diagnosis packets, ActiveMQ, Regex, etc. Most of the time, I just let it go as its not my job to validate her knowledge on these different but many services. Just do the call, get the report in, carry on. How difficult was that?
Yesterday, our call was left sour because I somehow blew up. I think I've reached my patience with this woman's assumptions to how these services work. Now I feel guilty for yelling at a lady but goddamn she stoopid for fibbing through my ear. Somebody help! What do I do?
If I report to our boss about her technical incompetence (politely), she might get sacked. She's a good tech support as long as she still has her trusty manuals by her, she can fix specific problems. But when it comes to unknown tech to her, she assumed she knew.
If I tell her about her weaknesses, however constructive I can get and as politely as I can get, all the while complimenting something about her, showing her how to improve herself, maybe she'll do better not to ask silly questions like buying a Puppet certificate? At least getting rid of ignorance would definitely help but not sure how she would take it. The worst thing I would imagine is her backfiring and yelling at me and then we ended up fighting.
If I kept quiet and tuck it all into a can, it will eventually implode as we go on.
This is not about her gender. I don't see her as a woman. I see her as a tech support engineer who should know her stuff.1
Basic tech support scenario :
- hey I have some problems with my computer, could you come over here and help me?
- yeah I can't open my emails
If you don't have enough curiosity to read and know more about technology and how to implement new stuff then i have very bad news for you
Guys, this IE11 primitive technology simply failed silently and I don't know how to debug this shit.2
That feeling when your app crashes on the home screen, because you forget to update some code from the previous version. How many of you guys have gone through this before?
I just got a mail from our universities tech support for a ticket I openend a fucking year ago... They didn't respond for a whole year and are now working on it?
One year ago I had problems connecting to eduroam on my Linux machine. No matter what settings I tried I never got it to work.
So I decided to open a ticket at my universities tech support. Fairly fast they answered me and tried to find what the problem was. Somehow only half my username made it to their server which means their is no way I can log in.
The conversation went on for a few mails but we never managed to solve the problem...
Now after one year they send me a mail stating that I can call them if I still have this problem.
Wtf? Who answeres to a ticket from one year ago? Why is the ticket still open? Did they work on it or just randomly decide to reply to old mails? Why didn't they write anything in the meantime?2
I don't get it.
The job listing is for a developer. I applied as a developer.
Why do they ask me whether I'd be willing to do tech support? What's their motive?6
Do you all sometimes have this strange feeling, that.. actually humanity would not lose anything, if we killed all that useless tech we earn our money with?
Yeah, we get all that propaganda how technical prowess is empowering and sure we all know it's a nice feeling if you can apply the right clicks and bit flips to make the machine do as you want so you feel like the apprentice's sorcerer.
BUT even if you believe your user story adds some business value to some abstract package - what do these devices mostly do? Distract, diffuse your focus, envy other eye-porn provider, endless aberration of clips.
Fuck social media!
(Yes, I know I am on one, but this is because I haven't given up hope on this one.)6
I had to contact my ISP's tech support because I suddenly lost my Internet connection. I explained to the guy who answered that my router was working fine, and that my devices could connect to my WiFi network, but they didn't have Internet access.
He was so confused because he didn't understand that WiFi and the Internet are not the same thing. He then made me reboot my router and reset my configuration (like I hadn't done that before) and eventually ran out of ideas and scheduled a technician to visit my house next week. What a moron
!Rant && !Tech
Anybody try to memorize anything large? I am thinking about memorizing books just to do it, and to prove to myself that referencing crap isn't required all the time. Might be interesting.
Posting here because I want my community's opinion on the value/nature of the question.3
Who here has an S/O that is in the tech field with them? Have you ever experienced the bliss of tech talks with someone that you relate to on a romantic level?3
Can anyone suggest good software or technology related movies and series ? Bored .. this series are one of my inspiration which shows high rated technology stuff , like future tech n all ...lol..thanx10
If there is tech support that is just plain awesome, it these:
The ones that are meh include:
I gave computer tech support to a tech support person.
I don't know how I feel about this...
Like, Yo dawg, I heard you like tech support, so I gave tech support to tech support.
Does anyone like being the "tech support" at work. Like helping people when they cant send a basic email?7
Slept for a bare total of 10 hours in the last three days, preparing, organising and headlining a Developer centric event with tech talks and Codelabs on Kotlin and ES6 at my university with just 3 active team members.
Professor incharge comes, fucks shit up, changed the ending note summary and sent it to the reporting authorities without my knowledge.
Now I am being asked why the actual event and the proposed agenda don't match.
Fuck shitty teachers who don't know what they're doing. 😑
I hate when my coworkers that work at call centre think programmers can be summoned to fix printer or PC in company. We have tech support for that.
I can fix the damn printer if I need to but dude dont go in like a stampedo of angry bulls.
My boss saw this and placed the do not disturb sticker on door of our section.
Is it too much to ask for a tech lead who knows how to code a web app and knows SQL? We're a SaaS startup btw1
Our college would be organising a tech fest soon. Any ideas on the kind of questions (related to tech) that we can include?7
What is the tech stack used to build this...
To my best knowledge, you guys are using DigitalOcean and Shopify, what else do you use?
What is the language, server is based on?2
new Rant("cartoon ep2");
// family tech support
My dad asked for help. His External HDD got corrupted. When will they ever learn? I'm teaching him to use a cloud storage right now.1
Like collabs, we should have a new section for only technical discussions about anything like common practices, is there a better way to do this, how's the new tech, general discussions about a library or language etc.
I'm not much interested in the jokes and that's all I see in my feed. Not that I hate that aspect but I prefer more of the tech talk.
Who's with me?5
Theres a kid competicion on infocmatics, I will take part of. I have built a compiler, and wanted to have an eye catcher for my project-presentationstable. Any good Ideas? IT schould be understandable by non-tech people3
So I'm a Java Dev used to work develop products on Google Clpud Platform. Technology stack used was Java, REST API/Webservices, Firebase, Google Cloud Datastore. Now that I've resigned from there (because of limoted opportunities) and joined a new company in another city.
And in new company I've been assigned to a project which is developed using Java Swing, SQL Server only.
So my question is:
Is it worth working on Java Swing which is a fairly old tech or should I look for another job: a webapp developer using Google Cloud Platform or AWS technology stack. What can be the wise move here in my case?
Really need a direction here guys. :)
Last night I came back from work completely drained, as usual, and thought to myself - "I'll just lie down for a second..." Next thing my alarm wakes me up 12 hours later - "What the... Again?!?"
It was just my biannual collapse from exhaustion. Now I'm good to go for at least six more months. Yay...
This is what happens when you have been working only on "critical" and "we have to do this or the company sinks" projects (are there any other kinds anyway?) for the past 10 years with NO rest between jobs and NO leisure vacations taken...
Funnily enough, this event coincides with my futile biannual introspective analysis on things I did wrong in my life.
Now back to saving the company...2
What do you guys think of the Adobe's new "Photoshop" on voice technology?
It's innovative, but I understand it's benefit other than heavy potential misuse it can used for.
See the video: https://twitter.com/ziyatong/...
RIP voice over artists and impressionists, it looks like your job is gone.2
Am I allowed to ask tech questions? Because I can't get my fucking Acer to dual boot a Linux distribution. Tried mint and lxle. Both require I go into legacy mode to boot them from USB, so I can't install them that way... Any ideas?8
'Tech debt' is the word that every CEO hates to hear during roadmap review.
Instead, talk about how certain part of the code will drastically slow down future development, make it more difficult to troubleshoot, and reduce engineering happiness overall.1
Trying to run AA games on a dual core Core2Duo without a graphics card is so fun. We try and try till we succeed right? Well trying is probably going to make my PC go up in flames😂😂3
Indian tech support just one-uped itself. They're now a web / app development agency.
Why would I even need that? I'm a goddamn webdev myself! They even said they knew that.
For fuck's sake.
What is the Hot Tech (Best Emerging Technology) of this generation?
Machine Learning, Internet of Things, Big Data, Android development.8
Tech Lead: I looked at their API code, their devs are so smart. They wrote the whole thing in three lines.
Me: I bet it's super readable!
Tech lead: that doesn't matter they are really smart.
Me: I'm sure they are ... 😒1
So I've been looking for a job in tech but outside the development and coding, but still in the tech niche, something like tech sales if its even a thing, however I've yet to find something like this that isn't either an old post or expired already, or asking for way too much experience, so any recommendations will be much appreciated.
Thanks in advance,4
Share with us your favourite tech podcast, mine are :
Software Engineering Daily
Soft Skills Engineering3
If you come to me asking for help about why my tools aren't working or other tech support questions I will immediately assume whatever info you tell me is wrong.
We should stop giving fucks about what product company X made and how much they're selling it for. Buy whatever the fuck you want or need.
Those apple iPhone X rants are getting annoying.
Where do you guys get your daily news about Tech, IT, Dev Related things?
I want something with push notifications and just serious sources without bullshit infos.9
If you wanna make money, you end up looking for cheap solutions so that the trouble is not worth more than what your getting so if I wanna make a website for a client ill probably puke out some php framework with a frontend theme and its done. But if you wanna do something right u wanna use the best languages with the best frameworks, like if Im making my own platform ill probably use Angular 7 with a custom frontend and maybe go or rust for backend. Do you guys find it difficult to keep up a considerable amount of knowledge and experience in using the good stuff given that 90% of ur work will be using something else thats cheap to give a client?2
I am in the crossroads of how to answer a question "How do you see yourself after 5 years time?". And I honestly have a difficult time deciding which path I should be striving for. How and which point does a software developer decide what steps to make to achieve next role? Are here devs who went from a software dev to 1) Tech lead 2) Manager 3) Contractor. Could you tell your story and what did you do if you did it on purpose? Or maybe how did you got better? Books? People? Forums?
I’m swinging by SF early next month. Any cool meet ups or things to do that people recommend? Obviously will use meetup.com etc but don’t want to miss out on some local knowledge!
I’m a laravel dev by trade but love React, Vue, RoR, and am interested in machine learning, legal tech, and decent beer/chat.
How to select a tech stack for a web app? 🤔
And I want to avoid big frameworks like react and stuff9
If you're a SaaS developer, what free serverless tiers have you found being good for implementing quickly business ideas? And on which tech stack they rely on?1
My first tech blog about an issue I faced with arch. Your inputs please !
We have a pre interview video chat with Y Combinator, in response to our application. Just wanted to know if someone has gone through this and what to expect. Would appreciate any help. Thanks!
Would you consider a technical leader to be as some kind of teacher ? I mean should he/she be teaching stuff teammates should already know ?1
As a student still in high school, I hate seeing other teenagers throwing their phones across the campus onto grass or in class throwing them on the floor, it's such a disrespect for technology. I personally feel with how much technology is around everyone daily we become desensitized to how wonderful and extraordinary tech is. That's one reason I am a developer1
Please suggest me some great programming/tech blogs to stay on top of industry. I want to have all the news about what Google has launched, what node.js is going to become, what's new in PHP7 and similar stuff.
Tools and programming languages are changing everyday and you have hard time to keep it up. This group is aiming to bring back the fundamental, like reading, speed reading, reading code, speed reading code, debugging, physiology and philosophy behind programming, motivation, grit and more1
Do you like tech? This is for you!
Listen to the TechWiz Announcment by Joshua Rieth (Bobj2008) #np on #SoundCloud