57
Condor
5y

Merry Christmas everyone 🙂

This year I didn't prepare anything for it, and family won't be visited this year. I think it's better this way. My mother didn't piss on me when I was on fire - back when I was homeless and begged her to be allowed back in her home, she told me to deal with it on my own. She's been homeless herself and knows how terrible it is. I dealt with it. I hate my mother because of that, and visiting her was always an act, a formality.

Not anymore. Half a year ago I cut ties with her.. and honestly, it's for the best. I don't want to get hurt anymore by visiting the house that should've been a refuge but wasn't when I needed it most. And I got rid of it, in favor of my own stuff. And a family of my own, a community of fellow developers with whom I feel a far stronger bond than a family could ever be. You are my new family, my dearest friends. And unlike those blood bonds that make up a family unconditionally, you can bet your ass that you've very much deserved my respect.

Merry Christmas.. unlike with my biological family, I've found refuge in devRant and its community every time I needed it most. Seriously, I can't thank you enough for that. I love you all.. thank you for being my precious family! ♥️

Comments
  • 5
    merry christmas
  • 3
    Merry Christmas my friend and other Belgian
  • 3
    @Frederick if you just typo-ed as "my PMS will always be open for you" and you will be giving him a bloody christmas wish, quite literally :3
  • 3
    @cursee don't worry, I can use my electricity to protect myself no problem.. given that at this point I can even make stun guns etc :3
    (and actually made an arc lighter with such specs)

    That said, don't drink so much because I'm fairly certain that @Frederick meant just private messages.. says the drunk me who can barely type anymore, hahaha. Cheers! 😁
  • 3
    Dude, your mom, ouch. Big Eastern European hugs to you! Merry Christmas!
  • 4
    I don't know you, Condor. But please accept my warmest regards for taking care of yourself. Along the lines of your post, I decided just this year that my oldest friend does her best to be on her best behaviour when visiting me here in Seattle [she now lives in Paris, France]. But she cannot maintain that brittle facade, and eventually she has to start looking down her nose at me, and devaluing me. After an email exchange with her where I shared something very personal without receiving a reply, I gave lots of time to thinking about it. If she came to visit, would I see her? My conclusion was to tell her this: "I am no longer available for you to devalue me. This has happened so often that it's not a mistake or misinterpretation on my part."
  • 5
    "...I've found refuge in devRant and its community every time I needed it most. Seriously, I can't thank you enough for that." I couldn't have put it better myself. I come here and find something that doesn't exist anywhere else...
  • 3
    Merry Christmas to you, too!

    I know what it means to cut ties with ones own parents because of too much hurt out of heartless behavior. You did the right thing and are free now!

    This community is like no other. We can be on each others throat in one thread, and comfort and reassure each other in another thread in the same time. 😊
    It's like having a row in the kitchen and a hug in the living room.
    Extraordinary! 😁
  • 3
    Wish you the best
  • 2
    Warmest regards mate! People let others down when they don't realise their true values, but like-minded people don't, which is why this community is so great!!!! Best wishes, and a very happy new year in advance! <3
  • 3
    @xzvf sweet revenge obviously 🙃 she ain't family anymore. She's let me down more than enough already. My mother and sister alike can go fuck themselves at this point. If there's any family that I'd go out of my way for instead, it'd be this one 😊
  • 2
    Sad Christmas story ... I have always thought that in the end, family is family, in spite of the ups and downs, misunderstandings and let downs ... Of course, I'm saying this from my own perspective. Maybe it's because I have often been let down by so-called friends and had to search for help from my family when in real need. I'm no anti-social type, heremite or anything, but I also thick that lucky are those who have a one or two real friends through life.
  • 2
    @Condor that's sad to read your story. In the end, one must realize, that "family" is just a bunch of random people. All bonds that are supposed to be important and shit, are fake. Whether you "play by the rules" and are at their command, or not, and finally cut all ties - it's your choice and it's up to you to make. Make your own choices and be proud of them. My family sucks too, but unfortunately I can't cut ties to them. Mu father in law is, was, alcoholic. He is dead, but damage he has done cannot be undone. If I could, I would do same thing as you, but right now it would cost my kids one of their parents.
    Don't make mistakes I did. Make your own choices and know how to tell other people to f*ck off when they deserve.
    Thinking about christmas makes me sick. Time of the year that we are supposed to spent with family and be happy - reassures us that people around are dicks and we are miserable.
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