6
tennox
203d

I'm 22 years old and 1.5 years into my first Startup Job. (and second Dev job)
I feel kind of uncomfortable now and I would like to ask your opinions.
I'll start with the work related description of my situation and later add a bit of my life situation.

I develop as hobby since I can think. I'm pretty engaged and love to do things right. So I quickly found myself in the position of the de-facto lead fullstack Developer.
Although, to be clear, were only a few devs - which are now replaced by not so many other devs. I feel often like the only person able to design and decide and implement in a way that won't kill us later (and I spend half of my time fixing technical debt).

I mostly like what I do , because it's a challenge and I feel needed. I learn new things and I am pretty flexible in work time. (but I also often work till late in the night, sacrificing friendship time)
But there are so many things I would love to do and used to do, but now I have no motivation to develop outside of my job.
I don't really feel that what my company is doing is something I find valuable. (Image rights management)

I earn pretty well - in comparison to what I'm used to: 20€/hour, Brutto 2.800 / month for 32 hours a week. In Berlin. (Minus tax and stuff it's 1.800€). It's more than enough for what I need.
But when I see what others in similar positions earn (~4.000), I feel weird. I got promised a raise since nearly a year now. I don't feel I could demand it. I also got the hint that I could get virtual shares. But nothing happened.

Now what further complicates the situation is that I will go to Portugal in April for at least half a year, for joining a social project I love. My plan used to be that I work from there for a few hours a week - but I'm starting to hesitate as I fear that I will actually work more and it will keep me from fully being there.

So, I kind of feel emotionally attached - I like (some of) the people, I know (or at least believe) that the company will have a big problem without me. (I hold a lot of the knowledge for legacy applications) .
But I also feel like I'm putting too much of myself into the company and it is not really giving me back. And it's also not so much worth it... Or is it?

Should I stick to the company and keep my pretty secure position and be financially supported during my time in Portugal, while possibly sacrificing my time there?
Should I ask for a raise (possibly even retroactively) and then still quit later? (they will probably try to get my 1 month of cancelation period upped to 3).

Also, is this a risk for my "career"?

Comments
  • 5
    my 2 cents: talk with your boss, if you think there should be something changed and nothing is done, then you pobably should look after a new job :) you are young and you gained experience at your current job, so it should be easy to find something new.
    If you like your job, then you should stay ;)
  • 5
    It's not weird to be tired after you develop all day. When I started working full time and stopped all side projects.

    I find the motivation for something on the side will usually come in waves.

    My only other advice would be to have a job before you leave. It's easier to find work when you're employed. You also have more leverage for negotiating salary.
  • 1
    Manu, you're basically a genius. You can work wherever you want on whatever you want. You better start working somewhere that you can put your heart into the work, before it starts eating you up inside.
    I agree you should talk to your boss, but get a bit tough with him. Tell him you want a Sebatical for 6 months (no working from a distance) and he should try to make you an offer in 3 months that will make you want to come back. Tell him it will need to be a very compelling offer... Because you are seriously considering to move on...
  • 1
    www.onewayticket.io great documentary about digital nomadism
  • 3
    Never feel bad for the company for taking things that you have a right to.
    Ive got that issue as well, I dont like taking days off and today I heard vacation days have an expiration date. So in order to not waste 30 workdays of paid vacationdays Ive to take them begore July, but Im working as consult and the company Im consulting is (including me) three people. I feel bad for taking a complete month off when there are deadlines, but at the same time its my right to take it and if I wont then they will be gone.

    So my mother told me today: "Never feel bad for the company for taking things that you have a right to."
  • 3
    Well, i was in kind of a similar situation with the company that i worked with for 2 years.
    I was getting paid fine for working all day on things that no longer added any value to my career. I was very unhappy.

    I resigned last dec, but they kept asking me to stay and it got a bit emotional. I took January off to think about it. During jan i got so much time to learn new things and work on projects that I love. I finalised my resignation by the end of jan.

    I don't have a job right now. But i have good savings to keep going. I am working on my own projects now.

    It was a difficult decision but i couldn't be more happy that i left that job. It used to suck the energy out of me all day long.

    So I will suggest, see if you are financially in a good place and then do what makes you happy and do not care for anything else.
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