12
JhonDoe
97d

I'm too ignorant about the rituals you need to do for dating.

I don't usually befriend ladies, I would just keep my distance. being a little cold to them, not hanging around, not chatting too much with them, just a greeting if possible

1. I try to get a little closer(just a little. to avoid da frend zone) to those I'm interested
2. I ask them to a date
3. If she refuses then back the 'being cold' attitude.
4. If she accepts... Haven't happened so I don't fucking know D:

I'm just inept at dealing with landing a date (not coding affecting my dating)

Comments
  • 3
    I have a very unique sense of humor, and have no interest in being anything else than the way I am. I'm European, and have been in Silicon Valley for almost two years now, and until last week was totally hard to talk more than one week with the same girl, so I think that it depends a little bit on the people you surround yourself with, and being cold like that, maybe when you do try to approach, you're still a little bit cold for them... Try being flirty but funny, don't push to much and eventually you'll find someone that likes you as you are.

    Some people are just "playboys" and get girls easily, others don't, so you don't have to take it hard on yourself :P

    PS. Don't know if this is good advice or not, but I reached a point where I had almost all the dating apps installed, and still nothing. But this only happened in California! In Europe I would have no problems, so sometimes it's just the people's expectations that are different and you're not a match
  • 0
    Also, some girls just "friendzone" you but because they are shy (?!) , I don't know for sure, but I've met weird girls and being "friendzoned" is just temporary as an attempt of theirs to see if you're just looking for one night stands or not ... Eh, there's always a way around I guess
  • 0
    @rui902 thx my man. Good advice :)

    About the dating, apps. Been there, i had like 5, and nothing happened, I've uninstalled most of them and just kept with facebook dating.
  • 1
    Oh hello Mr. Freeze 🥶
  • 7
    Women secret revealed: there is no friendzone. Best way to get to know each other and later on start dating if both are interested, is through friendship. It's a normal thing. Stop trying to date people and start making friends. It's pretty much that simple.
  • 1
    @Alice well said
  • 1
    @rui902 what do you mean with "facebook dating"?
  • 0
    @hobyrr I didn't say Facebook dating ahah but I've only done that once when I was young, texting a girl from another country
  • 1
    @Alice exactly, friendships are underrated I think
    Best relationship I had, she was my best friend! :)
  • 0
    @hobyrr I think I was the one telling about facebook dating?
  • 0
    @JhonDoe Ahah yeah, no worries, but facebook doesn't having dating features yet, (I think)
    So I guess you just meant talking with strangers on facebook
  • 3
    @rui902 Most couples in an actually working relationship, if you ask them, will tell you something similar to "We were friends for quiet some time and when we both stopped dating other people after many misses, we realized the perfect partner is closer than we thought".

    On the other hand, when did anyone ever hear a happy story about random dating?

    Dating like this is a multi million dollar business, not something people actually do to find real partners. Anyone who is in the business (dating sites, counselors, etc) is only in to match you quickly with someone but expects you to be back to need them again rather quickly because it's almost a given that this will happen.

    Dating is a business.
    Friendship and love aren't.
  • 0
    @Alice yooo, you mad at dating apps ahahah
    Although I agree, but for example, I'm currently in a stage of life where I have no ways of dating someone. 2 years ago I tried for 8 months and I felt like I didn't even knew the girl, we were barely together... she suffered and I had no pleasure on that... so I'm just trying to still keep in touch with my beloved females, although getting literally anything seems hard here (friends, hookups, just a simple date)
    I didn't stop making friends tho, I'm talking to a girl for almost a year, we kissed a couple times but never got intimate for whatever reasons, still I don't blame anyone else than me, no one wants a realationship with someone who doesn't even have time for actual dating 😂
  • 0
    @rui902 @hobyrr yup. about that it does, they first tested here in colombia, like since november last year, it looks they haven't rolled out worldwide.
  • 1
    @rui902 Not mad (never used one). Just stating the obvious. That's how the business works.
  • 0
    @JhonDoe yo say what

    I've heard about it but I never trust the internet ahah

    Dude, Colombia is great and a Latin country! just develop some more social skills, go to events and take care of yourself (inside and outside)
    Just dont close to much, girls want some emotion, being too much close is a red flag for most of them
  • 1
    @Alice that looked like an entire rant about it 😂
  • 1
    @Alice but yeah, I agree, and I never pay for any of those. It's a hell of a business and they sell because people get desperate, not human to me

    It's a basic need and they are fooling people around
  • 1
    @rui902 thanks man, and also @alice . I haven't dared to befriend ladies for a while, but yeah, some coworker told me same thing about just making them friends and stop only wanting to date them. I will follow that now.

    And that's nuts right? When I first looked the app I read about being just a test for colombia I was like 'huh? I didn't know we were the right country for testing a dating app, one never knows'
  • 1
    Moving to Colombia now, beautiful girls there 😂 and also , want to test facebook dating feature 👀
  • 1
    @rui902 never heard about it, you taught me something tonight ty 😂
  • 3
    @rui902 Nah. I just read a lot of people who think that's the only way to go and actually think being friends with someone automatically excludes you from anything romantical or sexual with that person. So I for once wrote a proper comment about it.
  • 0
    @hobyrr Ah, European detected ? It's morning here :P
  • 1
    @rui902 You bet there are! also, the dating app, is buggy sometimes but does not have spam or premium feature popups, that's a super plus from the others
  • 0
  • 0
    @JhonDoe that's super cool
  • 1
    @Alice For you, why people cannot start by being friends before lovers ? Like 10-15years ago
  • 1
  • 2
    @rui902 Not talking about the classic r/niceguy cases ;) Although there really are "some" people in our community who really, really classify as one.
  • 1
    😂😂😂😂😂 @Alice sorry for my bad english, I will try to say it in other way. You said their is a business around instant/sexual love, but why ? That wasn't the case 10-15 years ago
  • 0
    @Alice I think the guy/lady is half asleep already. looks like mixing our names all over the place. :)
  • 2
    @hobyrr It was always a thing, actually. It's just now that it's even easier because of the way the internet usage developed inbetween average people, to target the perfect group for it.
  • 1
    @Alice Definitely, I've read a little about "nice guys" and "incels" and I truly don't understand... There's always another person to blame... I love making new friends, and I got some girls until now super easily ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    The dating app stuff got me a lot of headaches; girls are weird (I think you'll say the same about guys), but they won't reply, ask for sugar daddys (this one still freaks me out everytime), or just talk for one day and then never reply again.

    I just think that developers have inherently a worse life quality because they spend waaay muich time on the laptops and don't treat themselves, then they blame girls for not wanting them ... So they assume that nice guy's attitudes is what makes the girls interested!
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