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Me and my wife are software engineers
Started dating while doing a project together
I guess you could say that we...
MERGED WITHOUT CONFLICTS20
Last year I built the platform 'Tindex'. It was an index of Tinder profiles so people could search by name, gender and age.
We scraped the Tinder profiles through a Tinder API which was discontinued not long ago, but weird enough it was still intact and one of my friends who was also working on it found out how to get api keys (somewhere in network tab at Tinder Online).
Except name, gender and age we also got 3 distances so we could calculate each users' location, then save the location each 15 minutes and put the coordinates on a map so users of Tindex could easily see the current location of a specific Tinder user.
Fun note: we also got the Spotify data of each Tinder user, so we could actually know on which time and which location a user listened to a specific Spotify track.
Later on we started building it out: A chatbot which connected to Tinder so Tindex users could automatically send a pick up line to their new matches (Was kinda buggy, sometimes it sent 3 pick up lines at ones).
Right when we started building a revenue model we stopped the entire project because a friend of ours had found out that we basically violated almost all terms.
Was a great project, learned a lot from it and actually had me thinking twice or more about online dating platforms.
Below an image of the user overview design I prototyped. The data is mock-data.49
First date tip: Don't tell her that you prefer back-end over front-end. Programming is apparently "the most perverted thing in the world"...9
This happened at my previous job where I worked for a dating app. It was at a time where the CEO was trying to turn the dating app into “more than a dating app” by adding tons of social features. We always had “interests” which allowed users to see what interests they had in common with another person, but he wanted to take the social component even further.
So with that, he decided we needed an “activity feed.” The activity feed would show what various Facebook connected users were liking on Facebook, posting on Facebook, etc. On a dating app. Where the majority of the audience was > 50 years old. The idea was absolutely ridiculous and everyone but the CEO knew it was destined for failure before we started building it.
But that’s not the best part. The best part was when we launched the activity feed component. We launched it late on day and went home shortly after. The next morning, we came in, and checked on the activity feed to see what was doing. It was literally all spammers liking porn/sex related stuff on Facebook. It was a complete disaster. All garbage but not just boring garbage - completely obscene garbage.
And just like that, the activity feature came and went in the course of a few days.18
When I worked for an online dating app, at one point we had the ridiculous idea to try to take a popular LinkedIn feature and convert it to a dating app feature in order to capitalize off of the success LinkedIn had with it.
The feature was LinkedIn endorsements. The idea was to allow the dating app users to get endorsements from people in their contacts lists on certain traits/features from a defined list (ex. Funny, smart, etc.). It wasn’t a terrible idea on the surface, but the way we planned to execute on it was insane and everyone knew it was going to fail. To avoid any controversy all of the endorsable terms were watered down to the point where no one would ever find using them/asking their friends for endorsements to be any fun. And the worst part was how we planned to get people to ask their friends for endorsements - management wanted us to build a contact list importer and just spam email contacts with “please endorse me” emails. The whole thing was ridiculous.
No one, including myself, wanted to build the feature/spam tool but management really wanted it so we had to build it. Like expected, it failed very quickly when it was clear no one cared about getting their real life friends to endorse them on some dating app, and the spam contacts took was ineffective and... spammy.10
I sang in front of the clients to demo an app for 30 seconds. It's a dating app that allow users to sing and record a song and send it to other person. It's a famous way of courting here in the Philippines.
That was my ridicolous and embarrassing meeting ever. Hahahaha45
the advantage of dating a non-dev: she thinks I'm incredibly smart when I describe what I'm working on, when in reality I have no clue what I'm doing 🙃11
My wife is a (semi-)pro gamer, so the only way it affects our dating is that I have to help her write LUA addons, performance analytics and Twitch bots.18
I’m kind of pissy, so let’s get into this.
My apologies though: it’s kind of scattered.
For @Root? Fucking never.
Maybe if I wanted to be a business major my mother might have cared. Maybe the other one (whom I call Dick because fuck him, and because it’s accurate) would have cared if I suddenly wanted to become a mechanic. But in both cases, I really doubt it. I’d probably just have been berated for not being perfect, or better at their respective fields than they were at 3x my age.
Support being a dev?
Not even a little.
I had hand-me-down computers that were outmoded when they originally bought them: cutting-edge discount resale tech like Win95, 33/66mhz, 404mb hd. It wouldn’t even play an MP3 without stuttering.
(The only time I had a decent one is when I built one for myself while in high school. They couldn’t believe I spent so much money on what they saw as a silly toy.)
Using a computer for anything other than email or “real world” work was bad in their eyes. Whenever I was on the computer, they accused me of playing games, and constantly yelled at me for wasting my time, for rotting in my room, etc. We moved so often I never had any friends, and they were simply awful to be around, so what was my alternative? I also got into trouble for reading too much (seriously), and with computers I could at least make things.
If they got mad at me for any (real or imagined) reason (which happened almost every other day) they would steal my things, throw them out, or get mad and destroy them. Desk, books, decorations, posters, jewelry, perfume, containers, my chair, etc. Sometimes they would just steal my power cables or network cables. If they left the house, they would sometimes unplug the internet altogether, and claim they didn’t know why it was down. (Stealing/unplugging cables continued until I was 16.) If they found my game CDs, those would disappear, too. They would go through my room, my backpack and its notes/binders/folders/assignments, my closet, my drawers, my journals (of course my journals), and my computer, too. And if they found anything at all they didn’t like, they would confront me about it, and often would bring it up for months telling me how wrong/bad I was. Related: I got all A’s and a B one year in high school, and didn’t hear the end of it for the entire summer vacation.
It got to the point that I invented my own language with its own vocabulary, grammar, and alphabet just so I could have just a little bit of privacy. (I’m still fluent in it.) I would only store everything important from my computer on my only Zip disk so that I could take it to school with me every day and keep it out of their hands. I was terrified of losing all of my work, and carrying a Zip disk around in my backpack (with no backups) was safer than leaving it at home.
I continued to experiment and learn whatever I could about computers and programming, and also started taking CS classes when I reached high school. Amusingly, I didn’t even like computers despite all of this — they were simply an escape.
Around the same time (freshman in high school) I was a decent enough dev to actually write useful software, and made a little bit of money doing that. I also made some for my parents, both for personal use and for their businesses. They never trusted it, and continually trashtalked it. They would only begrudgingly use the business software because the alternatives were many thousands of dollars. And, despite never ever having a problem with any of it, they insisted I accompany them every time, and these were often at 3am. Instead of being thankful, they would be sarcastically amazed when nothing went wrong for the nth time. Two of the larger projects I made for them were: an inventory management system that interfaced with hand scanners (VB), and another inventory management system for government facility audits (Access). Several websites, too. I actually got paid for the Access application thanks to a contract!
To put this into perspective, I was selected to work on a government software project about a year later, while still in high school. That didn’t impress them, either.
They continued to see computers as a useless waste of time, and kept telling me that I would be unemployable, and end up alone.
When they learned I was dating someone long-distance, and that it was a she, they simply took my computer and didn’t let me use it again for six months. Really freaking hard to do senior projects without a computer. They begrudgingly allowed me to use theirs for schoolwork, but it had a fraction of the specs — and some projects required Flash, which the computer could barely run.
Between the constant insults, yelling, abuse (not mentioned here), total lack of privacy, and the theft, destruction, etc. I still managed to teach myself about computers and programming.
In short, I am a dev despite my parents’ best efforts to the contrary.35
Yeah, you thought it right! This one aims for the stress ball...Come on devRants, I have faith in you!2
So I was setting up a dating progile after a female friend was pushing for it. She said I wouldnt have a problem finding someone online.
So lets setup the languages7
When my programmer boyfriend talks about his code, all I say is "That's so cool, babe," because I have no idea what he's even talking about.
He could be telling me he blew up a server.
"That's so cool, babe."
(I love you, though, darling x)9
It’s official. I’m dating a girl.
She’s damn smart, tasteful, hot and really into tech.
Honest, talkative, a real keeper.
Studying IT-Security. Fuckkk I’m dropping spit out my mouth. ALL. DAY.23
*creates a freelancer account on some website.
*builds portfolio and gets things running.
*meets his first client.
Client: Hello. so your profile says you are an experienced full stack developer. You are just the kind of person i've been looking for.
Client: Okay I have a project for you. I am looking at developing a simple website that has a few functions and the budget is 100$.
Me: Okay smooth. Hit me with the descriptions.
Client: it's going to be a dating website. Once a user signs up; the website would automatically take control of the user's media devices in his/her home; automatically playing something romantic. You get me?
Me: Em... Idk about that it seems a bit...
Client: it can be done! Develop the algorithm.
Me: Em... Ok.
Client: Well, next the website uses some complex sorting algorithm and sorts existing members based on their past real life relationships. It puts the best people above the messy ones.
*client goes on with his bullshit in like another 10 lines of messages.
Client: so what do you think? How soon can you begin and how soon can we be done?
Me: Do you also want a "butt scratcher" feature? Like a hand pops out of the monitor and asks to scratch the user's anus?
*client leaves the chat.
Me: Oh. I guess he a thing against family guy.13
Ok, so, to every pieces of shit out there that got a "revolutionary idea that will change the way we look at things" and who asks you to code it :
Fuck you, you sons of a cunt
No, i won't make your app on 3 different platforms for free, i'll make you pay for every platform you wanker, i'm a freelancer, i need money.
No, making database is not something that a little business cunt like you can handle, you don't even know what sql means
And fuck no, I won't make that shit in 2 weeks just because your peabrain thinks that it'll make mad dosh and that "It MusT bE eAsy to Do!!111", "a dating app but with a twist" won't work you gobeshit
If you want me to work on this shit, you give me money, specs and shit, you handle the rest, if it doesn't make money, it'll be your problem. I'm not your employee you wanker
I wanted to go on a cruise with my programmer boyfriend.
"I can't be away from work that long."
Not because he'll get into trouble or anything. Oh no. He just loves writing code *that* much. 🙄5
I recently got a folded piece of paper from a young lady. I asked her if we want to meet again, but she only said "Open the folded piece of paper at home. ". At home i opened the fpop and it said "015772549658 <3".
Dammit i knew that she didnt want to meet again.14
My girlfriend dumped me after I named my project after her and started getting attached to the Project. She thought I was double dating....😂3
So. A while ago I was on OkCupid, trying to find the Pierre to my Marie Curie (without the whole brain getting crushed under a horse carriage wheel obviously) and I decided the best way was to have my profile lead with my passion for technology. It turned out pretty unique, if I do say so myself.
At the end of it, I amassed some interesting and unique messages:
- A Java pickup line (that I never responded to. Yes I'm a very basic Devranter)
- A request to turn the man's software into hardware (to which I politely informed him that this was scientifically impossible unless a reader proves me wrong)
- Another impossible request to turn his floppy disk into a hard drive (how outdated too, why not HDD to SSD for faster speed amirite? That was awful don't mind me)
- A sincere request to help troubleshoot a laptop (Honestly I would've helped with help requests but this is a dating site...)
- A sincere request to help debug a student project followed with a link to a GitHub repo
- Another sincere request with studying for a computer exam
- And lastly, my favourite: a sincere job offer by a guy who went from flirtatious to desperate for a programmer in a minute. He was looking for *insert python, big data, buzzwords here* and asked me for a LinkedIn. I proceeded to inquire exactly what he wanted me to do. He then asks me to WRITE a Python tutorial and that he would pay a few cents per word written so he could publish it. Literally no programming involved.
Needless to say I went to look elsewhere.26
Ladies (and gentleman), I present you the perfect dating app. Can't believe what I've been missing all these years10
Coding won over my first girlfriend!
My senior year of high school I taught myself C++ and thought it was the coolest thing (lol). So I wrote a stupidly simple program that would ask your name and output a random riddle. But if the name was hers it was a riddle in which case the answer was "a date". Looking back, even if she was on my robotics team it was the nerdiest thing.
We dated for 8 months and broke up as friends. But to this day it provides a great story as I pursue software development.4
I haven't attempted any dating yet but I have attempted staying in touch with girls and this has failed big time. Not due to coding but due to me not using social media (especially Facebook and Instagram) and also - this is a huge deal in the Netherlands - not using WhatsApp.
The second girls hear/notice/discover that when exchanging information, it's shut off right away. (Or, this has been my experience)
On the bright side, I might find a very good match this way and I'm at least holding on to my principles/values :)36
When you introduce your girlfriend to your Best friend and after some time they start dating each other and you are unaware of the situation but after sometime you get to know about their relationship , now you're really pissed and want to take revenge, then you remember that the girl's parents are strict af and you know that they won't tolerate that their daughter is in relationship
so, you tell her parents about her and
they decide to send her to a different school located in another city
When two pointers are pointing to a same memory location then if any one of them deallocates the memory, the other pointer becomes a dangling pointer
I had a very informal interview/information session with a hot girl earlier this week.
Being the #foreveralone type, I'm calling it a date with a hot girl, when I tell my family about it. 😍
We scheduled a follow-up session for next week, which will be even more informal than before. Now it'll be more like a date, and I won't feel so bad telling people she liked me enough to go on a second date. 🙃
What can I say, I take what I can get. 🤗8
> be me
> create profile in dating app because pandemic rules make meeting people at irl events impossible
> match with cute girl
> start to talk about interesting stuff
> mention being a software developer
> her: 'pls help me I have a not activated windows 10 on my laptop and can't do stuff since the last update'
Scrolling on Medium I came across this article, about a girl dating a programmer.. 😂😂 😂
Whoever coded tinder and bumble, fuck you for preying on desperation to try to make a quick buck.
Dating apps are just a tool for attractive folks to get quick self validation and for desperate folks to lose even more self esteem.18
My work does this contest where they email everyone a puzzle where you have to guess a safety slogan. They give you maybe 1-2 letters in each word and there are about 5 or 6 words. So I found a list of every word in the English language online, I imported it into a database and I ran a few queries to return all possible words for each, depending on the length of the word, and where the letter hints are placed. I haven't missed one puzzle so far. :D
p.s. I told my girlfriend and she said, "I am dating a nerd".9
My sister is the one who got all the support, despite her now working as a cleaning lady, having 2 kids of her own, having already married and divorced, having been in financial trouble several times, oh and she's only 22 years old. She couldn't finish high school and even getting a driver's license wasn't without hoops. Now she's dating someone as old as our mother.
I've been putting my career front and center in everything. I want to make my own business and sell a network-oriented Linux distribution through it. My mother was impressed when her colleague whipped up a basic website for their company. You can imagine the surprise when I told her that that's only one component of my infrastructure. My family and I still aren't on very good terms, but yeah.. going from "don't stare at those "screens" all day long" to "wow, you've actually done something with these screens" (to her all technology is a screen) is at least some progress I guess.
No support whatsoever though, neither in my endeavors in programming, server administration and whatnot (but hey what can I expect) but what annoys me the most is that my sister did get all the help in the world for maintaining her general household. I didn't get any of that, first night when I moved into my apartment I slept on the floor because my bed wasn't completely built yet. Now that all of that is done, I don't consider my mother very welcome in my apartment actually...
Oh well, we've gotten where we are somehow at least. Just reading, reading and reading more manuals. That's all you need really.16
Not a rant about anything in particular. Just a summary of some feelings stored in the hateful part of my heart.
Developing for Android: Add this third-party library to your Gradle build. Use (this) built-in Android class to make the thing work.
Deprecated since API version SUCKMYDICK-7. Use (this) instead
Deprecated since API version LICKMYBALLS-32. Use...
Developing for Windows: Please use (this) API call. It was literally already available before Bill Gates was born. Carbon dating has placed this item to older than the universe itself and it is likely the entry point for the big bang. It is also still the best way to accomplish (task).
Developing for Linux: "Hmm, I wonder how to use this"
> > > Some shitty mailing list in small blue monospace font tells you to reference a man page that is three versions behind but the only version available.
What? Those three sentences didn't explain it enough? Well, maybe you aren't cut out for this type of thing.
SQL: You expect a decent-quality answer from stack overflow but you always get an outdated and hacky response and it's using syntax from Microsoft SQL. You need MySQL.
C#: A surprising number of Microsoft forum results ranking high on Google. You click on one in hopes that it will be of any sort of quality. You quickly close the tab and wonder why you ever even had hope.
Literally any REST API: Is it "query" or "q"? "UserID" or "user_id"? Oh, fuck, where's the docs again?
FontAwesome/ Material fonts/ Any icon font pack: You search "Close" for a close button icon. No results. You search "Simplified railroad crossing sign without the railroad". You get a close icon.
I think that's all of my pent up rage. Each of them were too small for an individual rant so I had to do this essay.2
Wanted to live outside the US. Was dating a Korean girl who moved back to Korea and was like why the hell not, let's go.
Worked at an American company that had a Korean office, so i thought it'd be easy mode. Took a working vacation to that office and interviewed. Brain froze on basic algorithms stuff - binary search. Failed to understand a logic question. But oddly enough, did well communicating with Korean developers with limited English knowledge.
Director talks to me at the end of the day, tells me they're looking for someone more senior. I bombed it, not mad.
Then he tells me he has a friend at one of the largest companies in Korea and that he'll be there to talk to me in two hours.
Chat with the dude. Supposedly, the larger company culture blows, but he has a little haven of badass developers and is known throughout the company for being an effective team builder. We talk for 90 minutes, and he days he'll hire me. Take a short online test to make sure I'm not a derp. Four months later, living in Korea and working, alas, sans girlfriend.
Been a year now. Ends up the company culture eventually crushed my boss. He was moved off the project, and then the project was scrapped. Yet they're starting a new project with the same group plus more because logic.
Today accepted an offer at a smaller company for a salary equal to my current salary plus bonus. Also, vidya gaems yayy.
I have got to have the silliest luck5
my girlfriend told me to stop spending too much time in front of the computer, so I stopped dating *foreveralone*1
People out there are getting married, having kids, dating their crush and here I am staring at gradle build to finish with 32 errors and 10 warnings,life is that easy 😐9
Facebook just announced a dating mode.
I don't know what to say. Is Zuckerberg that desperate to see how humans date?
*On a date*
Girl: What's the most daring thing you've ever done ?
Me: Once I accidentally ran sudo rm -rf /*
Girl: That's hot !5
Someone's dating site profile:
"I care about the environment"
"You must have a car"
I'm guessing they mean an electric car filled by your own personal solar array, whose materials was not mined by child labour in some far away country.. ?
Anyhow, I asked them if they would date someone with a solar motorbike..32
The girl I'm talking to right now (not officially dating), I met because I knew web dev. I've mentioned the story before a couple times, so I'll just give a TL;DR
She has a graphic design class with my friend. The class was doing basic web development and had no idea what they were doing. I decided to go in there to help out some. Started talking to her, now everything's fun.
Here's a picture of us from Friday (you can only see my face tho, not hers). We were just being cute, as ya do.12
Am I the only one to notice the coincidence that wk143 is about dating.
When I in school, we use to write 143 in place of "I love you" (letter count) within a heart with a aroow going across the heart.
"we" excludes me.5
Not letting Google (overtly) use your data has its drawbacks.
For example, lately I've been getting senior dating ads in my Gmail app.
I mean really, Google, I know you know I'm 30 and married; who's kidding who?1
I once wrote a room planning application on unity, to allow people in my company to book meetings using tablets attached to the room doors.
Turns out the c# Datetime object unity uses was highly localized and therefore had a different formats on each different device.
I saved those timestamps into a SQL database and eventually all devices crashed due to having some Datetime format they could not parse.
Had to fully bypass the datetime and reinvent it essentially and had to reset the database.
I think it's needless to say I'm not particularly good in dating.4
Just asked a girl if she knows java cz I was gonna try a programming pickup line on her. She said yes she knows languages like java, blue j, netbeans.
Guess *that* IDE isn't gonna autocomplete me.
So, I've been talking to this girl for a couple weeks now, and she fucking makes me happy guys. I kinda mentioned her once or twice on here, but I didn't really want to say much cause I wasn't sure how stuff was gonna go with her.
But basically now, we're just "talking" if that makes any sense to any of the younger, more social audiences here. For those who may not get what I mean, it's like we're not really looking for anyone else, but we're not really official or anything. Just somewhere in between like friends and dating (she confirmed this for me cause I've made assumptions before and got hurt so I wanted everything to be crystal clear)
I actually met her because she has a class with one of my friends. I mentioned their class in my contribution to the weekly rant this week, where the graphic design class was doing some basic webdev. I skipped my anatomy class to go there one day, started talking to her (actually the day of my rant where I said I'd been up for like ~30 hours or however many it was. LIKE EVERYTHING I POST ENDS UP REFERENCED IN ANOTHER POST), and just kept skipping mainly to see her. Then my friend gave me her Discord and we started actually talking to each other.
Within like 2 hours of us first messaging we had one of those like cute couple arguments. It was over who had prettier eyes, cause I have blue eyes (that people usually say are beautiful, I posted a couple pictures here once), and she has really pretty green eyes. I said that hers looked better, but she said that mine do....She won the argument.
Since then, it's just been fun and cute and I fucking love it. SHE EVEN SAID A PICKUP LINE TO ME A FEW NIGHTS AGO THAT I JUST LOVED. It was "your eyes are more gorgeous than any source code I have ever seen". She found it online, but like at the time, that really touched me.
I'm just so excited about all this guys. She's adorable and I love talking to her. The one thing that's KINDA weird is that she has the same name as my younger sister, but we call my sister a shortened version of the name, so it's not THAT weird.
And I'm just rambling at this point, like I generally do with my rants. She actually knows my profile name and everything (but she isn't on here, she does art, not computers), so she could possibly see this, but I'll likely end up sending it to her at some point anyways.8
It made me anti social. It got me thinking in a very logical way, I can't connect with people.
I'd spend a lot of time (and still do) coding that I didn't make many friends and made me have social anxiety.
Nobody respects what I do or even understand it.
The one girl I would've happily fucking died in the most brutal way for with a smile on my face, wasn't interested at all... I was a geek to her and my lifestyle wasn't compatible with hers.... I wasn't good enough...
I am very self aware of my shortcomings and working towards that... But generally, I'm too fucking late to dating and all that.
Programming put me in a disadvantage in dating and social life.11
An ex of mine broke up with me when I changed my career path to programming. She said she wouldn't want to date with a programmer, I said 'ok bye'.
Guess who has a better career and dated with smarter, nicer, more funny and more attractive people since then 😎8
Do you catch yourself unintentionally flirting with a co-worker or interviewer?
No sleazy shit this time. No intention of dating, fucking, touching, or whatever. Subtle things like sweet jokes, playfulness, and laughing in a flirty manner (I cannot explain this one further, I'm sorry) then you catch the other person blushing and reciprocating.
We had a senior engineer join us several months ago. He's very smart and one of the best developers I've ever worked with. He has good presence in the tech world. The first time he joined us, I looked at his projects, contributions, and interactions. I thought "Wow, I can't believe I'm working with this guy." He's the opposite of the typical clumsy fucked up developers I work with. He's very sharp and his attention to detail is.. wow.
I have never seen this guy smile and he always looks stressed out or annoyed with our project members. I just mind my own business and learn the new tools he's given us. He's proficient with those while we're all just learning it. I turned the pain into my own little game. This guy has amazing technical skills and attention to details, let's see if I can get him to approve consecutive pull requests from me without a single review point.
After several tries, two straight months of around 2-3 pull requests a week and he gave me a more difficult task that he hasn't done yet himself. I completed it. We talked today and he told me that I'm the only developer he can rely on and that most of them are disappointing. Yes, he's blunt, I like that.
I always felt that he's a lot nicer to me but him telling me so and going on and on with some compliments, dude, I just started joking around and giggling like a school girl. Senpai noticed me and he noticed me hard. I've never seen him smile and laugh like that. He was blushing. After that, our interactions became friendlier.
I'm not saying that he's flirting back or interested. I'm also not pursuing this because I'm with somebody. It's just a thing that I noticed myself doing after the whole interaction. Reminds me a bit of that scene from Black Swan and the confusion of why I find Thomas so damn attractive. "I want to get him." Fills me with inspiration.14
OK, so I get that we don't have a great reputation for dating but at the same time it's kinda rubbing salt in the wound when a dev company organises a global coding challenge for valentines day.3
Sometimes I miss programming, but then I look at my programmer boyfriend's code and I'm like, "Never mind, I'm okay," and I go back to being carefree and happy while he's going grey from the stress. 🙆🏽3
Let’s make an app like LinkedIn except for tech nerds who wanna date. We shall call it KinkedIn - Dating for Nerds!16
So I was using Coffee Meet Bagel to talk to a girl who is currently travelling. We noticed that the messages were sorted out of orders with incorrect time due to the different time zone we are in.
So naturally, I sent them a big report.
Their support team replied by telling me to do the usual. Restart, update, reinstall, delete everything etc (it’s their default answer!!).
I told them I have done those.
They then rephrased my bug report and told me this is expected as the chat was between two parties with a different time so the messages are sorted out of order due to the time difference.
I guess most developer will get ticked off by that... so I sent them a few pseudo code on how chat across different time zones should have been dealt with...
Life of a developer. Debugging and coding even when on a dating app... 🤷🏽♂️12
If you didn't match with someone on a dating app, what makes you think it's absolutely fine to hunt them down in other forms of social media so you can send them a direct message? I'm not talking about them just following a username you shared on your profile or a public forum. I'm talking about searching for photos and captions to find your profile somewhere else.
I mean obviously, if the person wants to talk to you, they will swipe right. That's the basics, isn't it? As shallow as these dating apps are, they make things pretty straightforward. You don't have to fake smile someone in public and endure small talk, you just don't swipe right and the whole encounter can be avoided.
The problem is apps don't suck, the users do. Instead of people learning not to be pathetic little shits, we shame people who use these services. "Oh, if you didn't put yourself out there. If you just stayed at home and didn't try to meet people, this wouldn't happen." Been there, done that. Been depressed as shit, got anti-psychotics, what more do you want?
Such an amazing life, isn't it? Staying at home and meeting no one. Or meeting people in public you have zero common interests with. What do I do? Run around in public asking if anyone likes to scuba dive? Ask random people in public if they're into BDSM? I met the most interesting people I know in these sites. People that I would otherwise not meet if I just go to random bars.
I know you can't change people and these are just some downsides of using these apps. I just want to vent. Suck my duck.15
My first ever post! So awesome to find out dev rant and cheer up my day as I go thru everyone's story/rant.
I was single the whole time while I'm at school. After graduated, I finally pick up the pace to date girls. So I signed up for a few online dating sites/apps. Every single time that I create a new profile for the app/site, I always get frustrated and confused about the language field. Especially when there's only selector or check box for languages selections.
University Final Viva for OOP with C++
(Yeah, that first line is a rant in itself for the likes of me and Mr. Torvalds)
Tell me a few "functions" in C++ STL algorithm header
*starts off with the first one that came to my mind*
AP: Huh? a I'm asking the Algorithms in C++ STL
Me: Yes, this is one of them Ma'am.
She looked at me as if I told her that I'm dating her daughter. It became clear she doesn't know about it and she'll gladly deduct my marks for getting it wrong. So I explained how Sort() is a hybrid of quicksort, heap sort and insertion sort. (Read about it an hour ago while doing a competitive programming question)
AP: Tell me the ones we did in class.
I haven't attended those classes, so I just told her the ones I knew.
After a couple more infuriating questions, which themselves sounded right from a book published in the 90's, she gave me 10/15.
This is what's wrong with India's Education system, even the teachers know only the stuff mentioned in the course hand-outs. Forget brownie points, you get screwed over by the teachers for actually knowing stuff and using it.8
So recently I started swiping on Tinder again, after some years of staying away from it. Now that's all fine, right?
But there's another dating platform that I used long long ago, Zoosk. I didn't even know that I had an account on it anymore, and they've never reminded me of it either. But guess what got in my mailbox this morning.. 32 singles that you'll definitely like!
Now how does Zoosk know that I'm on dating sites again.. maybe Tinder? 🤔
You know what, Tinder wanketeers? Fuck you. Sharing my personal data like that. Shame on you!!!5
What would you do if your colleague did not believe in vaccination, thought carbon dating was wrong, we didn't go to the moon, and wanted to buy you a drink?
I've practically stopped drinking at company functions, simply to keep my distance. I'm afraid stupidity might be contagious...35
Wanted to date this girl Winnie but she kept reminding me of windows every time she texted.
I hate being reminded about exes.
I tried every possible dating app but could not find a girlfriend.
One of my good friends always had one, he used to say that they share a lot of text every day.
So I asked where did you guys even meet?
Oh on GitHub! he said
me ( ' ' )3
My SO got a promotion, and with it he's going to be out of town about every other week.
I told him I'm excited for him, that even though I'll miss him it's a sacrifice I'm happy and willing to make because it's so good for his career, and our future. I don't want him to distracted during his work trips about worries about my unhappiness.
But I miss him and this is so hard actually 😔10
My grandmother started dating soon after granddad's death.
Death of Grandpa: fuser -k 80/tcp
Announcement to all programs, port 80 is now free8
Okay so I’m swiping through tinder for my fellow coding mate and I’m either looking at a porn star or an lg.
Sooooo figures I might as well throw this out here:
Any females? Melbourne Australia??
I’m tired of swiping and I don’t want him to be lonely 😢15
So, a year of Tinder Gold, my review:
End of review.
Well, actually it did provide a bit of useful information that can hopefully enable me to get a date in the future, but in essence, it wasn't particularly any good at getting me an actual date, let alone a relationship !
In case you are wondering, what great secrets did I discover:
Geographical boundaries effect dating, eg. no one wants to date you on another island..
Transport is vital.
Athletic body and strength is vital.
(Minimum weight lift 100 lb I suspect..)
Disposable income is vital.
No debt is helpful..
Financial assets are helpful..33
There was an ad for a dating website before a video about linux.
YouTube is getting quite offensive.
I also am seriously considering switching to openSUSE3
Radio Fucking One. Shit music and Dick heads talking about TV programmes involving the fake tanned brain dead chavs dating/talking about each other and this bollocks is contaminating our youth and should be stopped. Bastard shit bollocks.6
If my GitHub contributions graph was any more pathetically anemic, it would be my dating history.20
Client asked us to build standard dating app. Android version was published without problem but iOS version was rejected because during registration we collect data application does not need to work properly, that data is age and gender of user...2
Why is whatsapp just AIDS?!
The privacy thing is big but let's take a look at the app.
It's the only messenger app I've ever used that forces you to save incoming images to your gallery if you want to see them, like wtf?
The UI looks like shit and it's kinda hard to understand from a UX perspective, for example read receipts which Messenger does beautifully. Facebook owns WhatsApp so A it's not really a better choice than fb messenger and B it basically has a shit quality application compared to Messenger. The messaging experience in sketchy Chinese dating apps is better.
Also it basically hacks your phone. It turns on notifications and permissions by itself even when I explicitly turned them off, and sends me notifications for muted conversations.
Speaking of notificatikns. Every time I get 1 notification, notifications from every single chat even an unread messages from 3 years ago gets sent to my phone.
It guzzles battery like a monster.
And they have basically formed a cult in the indian community, so now everyone thinks its the best and no one uses anything else because "it's so convenient" which it's NOT. It has a terrible interface, and the only thing I like about it is the fact that it being so shit gives me an excuse to uninstall it and ignore all the fucking spam on there.
Honestly, the app needs to die ASAP because it is frankly the shittiest of shittiest messaging applications.5
At the first company I worked for out of college, the CEO was a bit like a child. Whenever he came up with a new feature he wanted to add to the product, it had to be done asap otherwise we were going to "miss the boat." Every single time.
So rewind to a few years ago. It's a normal day at work and then suddenly my team lead and the CEO call my team into the conference room. The CEO starts telling us about this industry conference (we were in online dating) that was happening and this flashy new company dating company was going to be showing off this awesome search feature.
Naturally, our CEO concocted a Hail Mary plan of how our company was going to upstage this company and get all of the press to write about us instead. Basically, the "plan" was for us to build a brand new search feature of our own, in the week before the conference, and then he stated that the press would "have to write about us because ours will be better."
Everyone on my team knew it was ridiculous but we were pretty young and naive so we busted our asses to get this search feature out the door in the short week. The Friday before we stayed until like 2 AM. It was a little bit fun because the people on my team were cool, but the whole situation was absurd and no one, except the CEO, thought this had any chance of working.
Annnnddd in the end we didn't get an ounce of press, the search feature was pulled from our site, and the "awesome" company that we were so worried about getting all the press is out of business. But hey, we did get it done!1
Could this be the programmers life +dating a programming language and for food add especially coffee. I feel it applies to me in a way.1
That moment when you're dragged to a meeting with a group planning a dating app with custom avatars, discuss about what art style to use (realistic vs cartoonish) and the guy in the suit casually mentions he doesn't understand how there are people attracted to "hentai" and its related art styles.
Unrelated to programming but anyways: It’s great how you can go on a date with someone, message them a bit after that you enjoyed it, have them respond they enjoyed it to and then when you ask if they would like to do something again at some stage they read and don’t reply 🙃 Even a firm no would have been nice9
So I'm at that age of arranged marriage process. It's kinda like dating but even more complicated with more if conditions on religion, caste, region, age and impressions of a third person who may be a mutual relative or acquaintance. And yeah, you have to engage or marry before any kind of intimacy.
Finding a girl of same religion, caste and region is hard enough, ( not a matter for me personally, but it's a factor for families to go along ). I was lucky enough to find this pretty nice girl that seems be the best match I have received in the matrimony site so far.
She's also a programmer which is awesome and together we could also explore the earth as a Digital Nomad if she's also into that.
Here's the deal though, my father is not very keen on next steps in making this partnership ( guys parent calling girls family to know things better ) because apparently she did higher education abroad and works abroad, and I'm not that qualified in terms of education. And on top of that, he worries I'll move abroad leaving everything back at home.
I suppose that's his insecurity showing up.
He doesn't realize working in IT is the most flexible job as proved in 2020 and it's only going to get better in the coming years. We could work from anywhere with the right remote company.
Anyhow, the girl's family found out my number and reached out to me directly. I'm pretty impressed honestly.
I had left little traces on the internet for potential families to find more info about me if they choose to look me up! This was in a way a little filter of my own. Thanks to Google Analytics and Seach Console for helping me to track them XD
I just hope this works out and my father won't mess up my chance for me to get to know this girl better and potentially be with the life partner I dreamed of.
If this won't work out, I'm just gonna live alone rest of my life. The criterias and conditions set by boomers for arranged marriage are very disgusting for my modern mindset.15
Sooo my gf dumped me last weekend :(
I remember somebody here had an idea for a dating app for devs. Is that actually a thing? Does anybody have a link?9
YouTube constantly shows me ads for marriage and dating apps for muslims.
... I just want to know the logic behind that. Neither am I a Muslim nor am I into marriage. If anything, I'm considered an abomination in Islam. (I know enough about main religions, ThankYouVeryMuch) You see, my conspiracy theory is that YouTube is trying to make me racist (or rather, religionist?) by showing me irrelevant ads on a constant basis to make me angry.
I'm onto you YouTube!!! 👀54
I know there's no solution to this that wouldn't cause more problems because all humans seem to do is exploit whatever they can get their hands on but I hate how through technology, anyone can create entirely new identities to stalk and harass others. From the shit maggots and incels who vomit dumb shit or act aggressive online to the disturbing, obssessive, should-have-been-removed-from-the-gene-pool cowards who stalk you for years, you can't seem to do anything to defend yourself other than to block whatever new accounts they create and carry the paranoia of someone other than Sunblock Mark watching you either through your own portfolio or even GitHub profile.
What life can you still have when you've avoided most types of social media and you get followed around in other sites that are supposed to help your career? There's nothing left for peace aside from being a true hermit. It's just the fact of the internet and the dark side of the lowlives. What can you do about these things? The police wouldn't care if an ex and family members have been stalking you for five years until something physical actually happens. Nevermind the fact that just getting a "hi" from these people is enough to drag you into a trail of nightmares every time you close your eyes on the next few weeks until you hear from them again. Oh, look how harmless, he's just saying "hi". Let's check the spam folder. Oh there it is, the email he sent at 3AM in the morning that he probably figured out you blocked so he created a new email that will go through with the same damn message at 9AM. I've been ignoring him for half a decade and I blocked him? Surely that is not enough to make him stop, he's such a normal person.
No, telling him to stop is not an option. I already told him that several times back in 2015 and he went on and attempted to hack every social media I had. He then went on to "visit" me in my condo and wait by the door. I slept with a knife under my pillow and got the fuck out of that city forever. Stayed the fuck away from Facebook too and still get stalked on LinkedIn and even GitHub for fuck's sake. What can I do? Report him? For what? For saying "hi" too many times? Then you get crap about others having worse problems than you as if this kind of shit isn't killing you on the inside. Let's just overwhelm the people who work on themselves and try to succeed until they remove themselves from the Earth and we're left with the disgusting fuckers who have nothing to do and nothing to contribute.
I know this sounds like a non-problem problem but it really messes with my head and every day, it pisses me off that people like this can't be stopped until they do physical harm. No one cares about the mental damage they cause. No one cares about how disturbing their behaviors are. Now the past haunts me and I keep dreaming I was still in the same shithole I used to live in, dating the same Flowcode abusive engineer, getting even my tomatoes stolen, my family fucking up every tiny glimmer of hope and happiness in me. It's so ridiculous that it's kinda funny.
A few weeks ago, I was watching "Perfect Blue" with my partner. He said I've always been calm in most situations but he's never seen me get so worked up over a movie. This is despite watching morbid true crime, war, paranormal shit, and others. This movie along with the Jessica Jones series, trigger the fucking hell out of me and I'm glad they exist as another genre of horror because they truly are terrifying.
I just hate this. I fucking hate the fact that I have to be the one to do all the work and get therapy when the ones who truly need them are freely doing pathetic shit and possibly harassing others too. Fuck you all, I hope your ding dongs dry up and no child would ever have to bear the nightmare of being around parasites like you.19
What the fuck?
Are vegans that special to need a fucking own dating site??!
Are normal dating sites not good enough for them?
Funny part is that he says there have been some other vegan dating sites before. None of them did it. Of course his will! Because his sites will do ads. And ads means thousands of users!13
Oh look, X dating site says person so and so is only 44km away.
Wait a minute, they are on dating site Y, and it says they are currently 69km away..
Both statements can't be true !
Perhaps they are putting more effort into stopping us triangulate someones position !
Doesn't help when you are trying to find someone local..9
!rant GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!
I failed at a dating sim, how the fuck did I fail at a dating sim? They're designed to make you feel love and romance or some shit like that! The girl got hit by a car, almost died, got amnesia, forgot all about me and then presumably started dating me, but I don't know CAUSE THE FUCKING GAME ENDED!
*sigh* I have work to get back to.13
College male computer science student here:
Even when I find attractive girls who want to date me, the thought of it stresses me out. In reality if I can truly chat and have a good time with a girl she has been friend zoned.
I love to program — I discovered that about myself a few years ago. Beforehand, I only KNEW how to program. But then I discovered the power programming gives you to create things, and even help your surroundings. So now, I can surely say, that I love programming. Heck, I am even dating a very talented programmer.
But despite all the pleasure I derive from it, I feel lonely sometimes. True, there are millions of programmers all over the world. I also know I am not the only one who prefers coding over going to the movies, taking a walk, eating or sleeping.
Why do I feel this way?
My loneliness is a gendered loneliness, as there are not many women in my field. For sure, there are women who study computer science in high school or at the university, and some even work as programmers. But they are very, very few!
I often underestimate my abilities and feel intimated for no apparent reason
I'm too ignorant about the rituals you need to do for dating.
I don't usually befriend ladies, I would just keep my distance. being a little cold to them, not hanging around, not chatting too much with them, just a greeting if possible
1. I try to get a little closer(just a little. to avoid da frend zone) to those I'm interested
2. I ask them to a date
3. If she refuses then back the 'being cold' attitude.
4. If she accepts... Haven't happened so I don't fucking know D:
I'm just inept at dealing with landing a date (not coding affecting my dating)25
Thanks to my socialist government giving me some free money to help the poor, I'm now no longer poor, but only poverty stricken !
Interestingly, they only give money to the poor, not the real poor, who are below me..
Anyhow, this means technically, I am able to date !
Though only for 3 months in every year, then the money runs out, and no doubt so will my date !
Anyhow, I get to change my dating profile next weekend to show I've now some disposable income !
Then I reckon I'll get one relationship per year, so we'll see if that is true or not !
So happy days, and hurray for socialist governments putting up taxes so poor folk like me can get some free money ! ($300 USD in case you was thinking it was thousands!)
That was slight sarcasm..
And in 3 months time, if all goes to plan, I'll be out of debt !
My new exercise regime is paying off, I can see some muscles getting bigger.
Though marks out of 10 wise, I'm only about a 1.8 so not very attractive, still, I reckon it is now possible, where as before, I reckoned not.
Of course, I kept trying to disprove this, but I wasn't proved wrong !
Now lets see if I'm proved right..
As long as I don't move in the next year of course..
Which is always a possibility. :-(
When I say move, I really mean, end up homeless and have to move to another area where I know no one/etc.
Not that I know anyone here and I've been here 3+ years..57
Q: Whom would you like to date?
Me: Carbon (**whispers in mind** carbon dating and laughs all alone)4
I belive developers need their own dating app type to get to know each other better and balance their social life...😁6
Haha like 4 years ago I was dating this beautifully girl when she asked what I do , I told her I am a hacker , white belt of course ,she never believed me , so she said prove it, without thinking I called her with her own number , she freaked out never want to speak with me again , few days ago she sent me a friend request, I was like waoh only 4 years she know what a white hat hacker is.2
Handsome co-workers in my visual range distract me from my tasks...
I need to get back in shape and start the dating game again... :'(
Instead of reinventing or inventing blindly new tools / frameworks which most of them have few common features which overlaps each other, I think these developers should solve real problems faced by developers. How about a legit and exclusive dating site to date female coders?2
I remember it was Friday, 30 minutes before leaving the office when suddenly someone from the upper management directly asked for my help to mass update something as it is important. By that time our CMS is not capable of doing this so I had to do it straight in the live database.
It was an update query and I decided to type the query in notepad first. when i pasted it in the terminal i didn't noticed i missed the "where" part so i mass updated the status of all our records dating 3 years back.
fuck.. please take note it was on a Friday night.4
PBF: This program is so difficult
Me: what's difficult about it?
PBF: *may as well be speaking greek*
Me: Oh. Well, I'm sure you'll kill it. I believe in you ❤
Today I don't have much of work. Should I :
1. Start reading about Machine Learning
2. Read and understand Rust( is it being used actively and does it have scope? )
3. Check out some new imnew-tryme.js framework.
4. Crib about my ex dating someone else.6
I do wish that we could have a dev dating site. Why? Cause I cannot give my girlfriend enough time and then she gets moody and then this leads to breakup.
Now I have to freaking choose between her or code this is bad, bad.
If we devs get dev gf she knows how things work and things would work out16
Story of coding affecting my dating?
Well whenever I start a new language, I always find myself having difficulties with time and date structure-
Wait, that's not the subject? ... oh the other kind of "date". Well, not finding difficulties for something I'm not looking forward to lol
Shower thoughts: Someone should infiltrate the NSA and create a backdoor. Then, with all the data NSA has, he could make the most efficient and successful dating service, which doesn't even need any rightleftmitchmatchbullshit, because it instantly knows who the perfect one is.1
Programmer BF before we were dating: I love my job. My job is the best thing ever. I will never love anything as much as I love coding.
*A few months later*
Me: Ugh, your alarm is going off. Wake up.
PBF: I don't wanna go to work 😭
Me: Oh really? 😏6
What is the best time to update a dating site so its incompatible with Firefox..
How about, a few hours before Valentine's day..
Me - "Mmm.. must be busy, I'll wait.."
Me + 24 hours = "Mmm.. maybe something broken, lets try another browser like say Chrome, oh it magically works!"3
As most of us are aware, developers often struggle to find romantic partners, often due to introversion or working unsociable hours. So, devs who HAVE found that special someone, how did you meet them?15
Lets try the dating app 'Hinge'..
Well, first Google Playstore can't find it..
Never fear, my trusty PC finds it !
So, I go to the web URL found via my PC (On the phone obviously, since like many dating sites, the idea that PC owners might want to date, seems an alien concept so they simply never get around to creating a PC compatible app..), click on the, google play store link, and it tells me:
"Your device isn't compatible with this version."
I wonder what special features they use that my phone/OS doesn't support..19
Just got off the phone with a (no longer) prospective client. Dude claimed to have an amazing idea that's going to make millions of dollars. Says he got the idea from watching "Shark Tank". In other words, he stole someone else's idea.
Anyway, I listen to his pitch. He tells me to go to zoosk.com. The dating site. I don't say anything yet, wait for his offer, which is the best part. 25% equity. Twenty five percent. I get 25% of something that I'd build, based on a stolen idea. Not even stolen, really. Just fucking unoriginal. A dating site. Yep, the internet needs another one of those, alright.
Where the fuck do these fucking assholes come from1
So i am dating this one girl that has been friends with me for as long as i can remember. We got the families to know what's happening and they are happy with one problem. Her brother.. He's fine and i spoke to him but he seems to have an issue only when im unable to help him like when he asks me if i have annold phone laying around, can help get him something ect. And i am actually getting a little pissed off because i know him but he seems to either be taking advantage or trying to gain something out of his sisters and my relationship or tries ti make me feel guilty for things i don't want to do. His sister doesn't know and i dont want to have her and her brother argue because of me. Why tf can't a person just be happy..6
6 months of joining a dating site to test things.
During that time the dating site changed its rules/system several times, resulting in not allowing you to view/chat anyone more than 13 years younger than you. (So limited choice if you are aged 93..)
I didn't get a single date !
A few short chats..
Always the sticking issue was my geographical location and my lack of transport. ( I'd need my own plane to visit most potential dates.. there are no charted flights anymore from this island, the runway is mothballed !)
Conclusion, you at least need to live within affordable transport range of your date if you are male.15
The same friend from my previous fb rant
sends me this 😑1
Refactoring is like dating. You have to remember stuff, maybe you're insecure and you may have to overcome yourself to actually do it.
But when it works out, it's great.2
dating is more deadly than death because it will sooner or later fuck you up so high that you will commit a spiritual suicide while physically remaining alive ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️💧💧💦💦💦💦😢💦💦😭😭😭💦💦💦💦😭💦😭💦😭💦😭💦💦💦😭💦😭😭😭💦💦😭😭💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦3
"New facebook dating service! It's absolutely free! Just sign this user agreement and durable power of attorney. We promise we won't rape you with it later. "
It's a joke now, but probably not for much longer.
So my software engineering school which cannot run their intranets correctly just failed and our emails were used to sign up to a dating site targeted to a most peculiar community. (I won't disclose the nature of the site)4
A friend is currently building a 'dating and matching' open source app for developers. Let's say Tinder for developers.
Don't know how it works but I think it'll make sense.7
I've been thinking:
Looking for a job is so equal to dating!
- I don't want to date a random company/girl just to have one.
- I don't want to go on speed dates with a thousand companies/girls and see which one I can get along with.
- I want to go one by one and be exited and into her so that I know at least her name and what she does (company/girl) 😂
But this last strategy is proving bad to find a partner... (company/girl) 😢
What are your thoughts? Should I/we just go for whatever and not really like it or keep looking for a better one? 🤔16
I only have stories of dating affecting my code, relationships are so energy consuming... So much easier to be alone and deal with it.2
Project manager: "What is a micro service? I'm dating a girl and she mentioned it and I want to impress her."
Me: "Well, you have monolithic services which tend to serve many different functions whereas a micro service tends to serve a single function or a few related functions. They are usually easier to scale and can be optimized to be faster. Still, right tool for the job."
Project manager: "Oh nice! So I can ask her 'Hey, want to see my micro service? It's quick and scalable.'"
He's leaving this week. I'm going to miss him though.
Seriously though, in that context, would scalability mean you're bringing friends?4
My second monitor is about to die...
10 years on service for a plasma monitor.
This monitor is the last surviving piece of two of the most important moments of my life. I was dating the woman of my life which I let go away and was int he Army...
Past is past, still...
I got handed over a project that has hundreds of lines of commented codes, some dating back to 2013. I am then told not to delete those as we "might need them". WHAT DO YOU NEED A 4 YEAR OLD COMMENTED CODE FOR???1
How to learn HTML?
1. Download a plugin called "Save Page WE" for Firefox.
2. Go to a webpage you want to modify:
3. Right click and select: Save Page WE -> Save Standard Items
4. Edit page on your computer.
5. Upload to GitHub public repository for viewing:
6. Share preview link by prepending https://htmlpreview.github.io/? to said page URL:
7. Any questions?4
!rant - Also sorry this got rather long.
This is actually a psoitive story. I always used to be someone working on his things alone. It was great, I got shit done, I learned something. No one stressing you. But I was also lonely. The thing is that this behavior not only applied to developing. I was also able to observer that behavior in other parts of my life.
So it was time for a change. And I made a change.
It all began by switching my field of studies. Well, not really the field but some details. I switched from plain old computer science to computer science combined with media design. Here in Germany we have a nice word for it. Mediendesigninformatik.
I wish I had made that change earlier. Nonetheless it's never too late to make a change. So I began going to creative courses, like animation or graphic design. Directly from the start I made sure to talk to people. Make them remember me, offered my help because I already had experience with some things etc.
Next up was to get a job. So I got one. Now I'm working as a Game Master for a branding of escape rooms. Fun job. Also something different from developing all day, which is quite nice to do sometimes.
This job is where my change begun. The people there are amazing. I felt instantly like I've found new friends. Actually I also developed a crush on someone there and we are possibly dating soon. Not quite sure about that yet though. That also isn't the point here.
So a month later I moved out of my parents house. Living together with friends now and it's great. I'm so much more creative, so much more shit happens. I feel like a different human.
So I continued working on myself. I wanted to get really good at it. I wanted my groups to succeed whole having a challenge. They were supposed to leave happily, even when they didn't make it. Of course not everyone can be satisfied, but I noticed a positive change. Which motivated me to redesign and rethink the tool we use to give the players hints, manage their time and other stuff.
I was scared at first, but eventually I showed them what I did. Their feedback was surprisingly positive and while it will perhaps never replace our actual tools because our chef is a cheapskate, I was happy to achieve something. This continued. I made more stuff and formed connections.
Now I'm not working on things alone anymore. Recently I started working together with someone and this also was the first time I've made actual money of it. It's not a lot, but I was able to live half a month of it.
This is the beginning and I hope there will be much more. The moment I started showing other people my work and feeling confident about it made me change. I also learned to appreciate other people's compliments and kind of get an high of them, but I'm not sad when they don't like it. I feel like I've grown as a human and are more mature.
Have you experienced something similar? Can't wait to read your stories.3
Well, wasn't my mom, but once, i was in the house of the nanny of a girl i used to date..
I've told her that Im a developer and The nanny already got it like : "ok you know about cumputer and stuff related"..
So..the internet connection was shitty as fuck
She asked me to repair the internet,
I told her I didn´t know anything about network, but.. she insisted.
I said that she better call their internet company and they would explain what is the situation there..
She told me that It was unnecesary, and insisted again..
(We wera talking in the bedroom)
So i left the bedroom, then I went to fucking internet modem, unplug the power cable, then plugin it again..
The internet was still shitty, BUT, she had a placebo effect about the speed.. she was so happy with me and she started saying that I was smart.. (I wanted to kill myself)
we stop dating ..1
Being the only developer in your circle of non-tech friends is weird 😕.
And why are most female programmers not appealing 🤦♂️.
The beautiful ones are usually clueless and can't get into a ”deep programming concept ”conversation.
I guess I can't eat my cake and have it at a time.21
Ok so was dating this girl who n has a 8 year old I was with her for 4 year her son calls me dad... Long fucked up shit story short. She cheated fucked me over all that cool I stayed for the kid... A few months later I catch her in my son's bed with another dude.. ya I know right my apartment my everything!!!! How could she right.... but as most men knows Once Upon and gets caught doing something they turn into something completely unrecognizable in ridiculous. If I do whatever she says and wants to still let me in her son's life!! And as soon as I left my apartment to her she moved some dude in with his two kids and stole everything that I had.. so I had to get coppers involved to try to get some stuff... I mean I was free balling to work with no socks .. no towels nothing... you can only imagine how badly I wanted to go into my apartment and destroy this dude.... But for my son's sake I bit my lip and took it... she got a hold of my spare car keys both spare key tab and keys... shortly after I left they run my truck of all my HVAC technician tools... Then to make it worse some months later she emptied out my truck again... and you can only imagine how upset I was about everything because I love that kid and I don't want him to have to go through anything.... Someway somehow her and her new boyfriend got some guys off GitHub I mean I'm getting torn up out here ... GPS trackers .. people following me... and everytime I leave my truck or leave anything that gets broken into and stolen... it was so bad that they even made me lose my job at three different stores that I was working not because of my performance but every time I would walk outside of work my truck wouldn't start or it would be completely ransacked. Someone plz HELPPPPP and yes that's like the 4th GPS tracker that I've taken out of my second vehicle now because of this crap it is literally almost ruined my life6
Search 18 to 66 age range..
Only allowed to search 40 to 70 age range !
Damn it !19
Who here remembers dateprog.com? If you don't, it was a dating site for devs and those who like devs. I'm tempted to ressurect the damn thing, although not as a dating site but more of a social network (think GitHub + Tumblr). Anyone else think that'd be a good idea? I'm also thinking this'll be more than just my weekend sorted, haha. It'd have to have chat, code repos, GitHub login, etc... what do you guys think?
Also not planning to invade the territory of devRant I was just wondering if anyone was interested. Maybe even some kind of extension to devRant, as a social coding platform? I'm not sure aha. Welp, anyway if anybody's interested drop a comment! :)5
This is a real history..
So i went to my friend’s party.. and he invited this hot girl.. (u know the girl that would never talk to any programmer)..
so she started asking me about programming, maths, software...
and I was like wtf.. is this real? (because u guys know that this is impossible jaja)
Actually, we spent all night talking about it..
for some reason she started hanging out with me and my friend..
now we are dating.. kind of crazy uh?
(she is an engineer btw)4
So last week I sort of unfriended a friend from college that i guess is more like a "chat buddy". After college we've never hung out. Part of it maybe because I'm deaf so there's a communication barrier, I lost most college "friends" after that... but then are they really friends?
The reason was though, he talks to me every night (usually 1-2 hrs online chatting on and off), we do have some laughs but recently he's been complaining about his year end bonus, how it's not enough. And also about how he deserves to match with better girls than the ones he's getting now. He's on those online dating sites and went out with a few. And he's been on a few dates but with my looks and health issues, online dating is pretty much useless. He was the only reason I even tried
He makes twice as much as me already but "he comes from a poor background" so he needs more. Honestly I make enough, but the job isn''t great (not really learning anything new, lot's of things that could be better... obviously) but it's very flexible and near where I now live... should I even choose to go into the office (I sort of work remotely from the rest of the team).
I probably haven't spoken too him for a week now and I don't feel problems, frees up more time but wondering if I sort of withdrawing/unanchored from reality and ignoring problems, settling for less.
Nowadays it really feels like, when I'm in my own apartment or just alone, I'm in my own world, I can do whatever I want... thought most of the time is spent with my devices... so I'm not sure though if that's good or not... Am I a Bachelor or a hermit?
Now i've been rambling for the last 1hr and have no idea what I wanted to say.... guess I just needed to rant...
Ah I remember now sorta... Is this relationship worth keeping or should I find new friends that are more similar to me?
Maybe I've been moving in the wrong direction in life... I shouldn't do things the normal way... Think about what's actually important to me/people like me... not what what everyone normally does...1
My uncle's photos dating to 7-10 years. It was a massive collection of family photos. My brother took his laptop for learning development. Then we decided to install Linux into it. But it never came to our mind that there were that kind of a photo archive in a folder somewhere. So eventually were installed linux by removing partitions and creating them from ground. Everthing is lost. It's been more than month and we don't have the guts to tell him the truth.5
I imagine if every girl was to ask for my S.O point count before dating me then I would die single...1
I don't know about you guys but I feel like I should be dating a female coder ^^" what do you think about that ?9
My best friend's ex is really cool. But while they were dating, I was a bit frustrated, mainly because he was interested in many things she wasn't.
One thing that annoyed me was that his major is computer science, and her major is medical research.
GIRL, IF ONLY YOU WERE ALSO MAJORING IN COMPUTERS. YOU CAN ASK THE GUY FOR HELP WITH YOUR ASSIGNMENTS. EXPLOIT HIIIIM. HAVE COFFEE DATES AT STARBUCKS AND CODE TOGETHEEER. HIT TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE10
The dating app "happn" allows you to report and block users, and among the options to choose from is "commercial profile". Happn also has a spam bot of their own, which sends you messages about discounts regularly. You can block and report their own bot as a commercial profile in order to stop it from spamming you.6
On the one hand, as an avid programmer having a non-programmer partner, we (I) once wanted to mod some Gameboy Pokémon games (Crystal), but the games were written in Assembly and I was definitely not getting myself into that. My partner was rather sad, as this was quite a big project for the both of us, but it was never finished, and it was still complicated to explain to him why Assembly is such a bitch. Nevertheless, we found other projects to have fun with (simplest of them: random movie picker that chooses a movie based on title/genre/etc. from our own movie list file).
On the other hand, explaining and making programming exciting for people who are not into it, so you still seem like an interesting person for new dates (poly relationship), is really hard. But I would also blame my introverted self and not only programming for unsuccessful dating :D
Is it too much to ask for a dating app to at least, you know, reliable and not buggy !
Was chatting to someone earlier, they vanished, don't appear on my match list anymore.
Ok, assume unmatched.
An hour later, a message from them pops up!
But wait, if we are unmatched, they shouldn't be able to send messages right ?
So whats up with that !
I tried relogging, tried rebooting, now no one is showing in my match list..
I did upload a new picture, so maybe it was so awful, everyone who did like me, changed their minds suddenly !
Anyhow, it doesn't at the moment appear to be behaving as it should, I can see messages from someone that appears unmatched..
I tried testing by unmatching someone my end, and the messages between us vanished. (Of course, no way to get back from that without resetting the account !)
So that behaved as documented..
Anyhow, important message apps need to be reliable !
Especially paid for ones !
Otherwise folk aren't going to pay for them, again !10
A guy that I know from uni (used to be my TA), asked me to help him with data collection for his thesis.
The thing is, there are plenty of other people that he is better acquainted with (and are my friends), and he did not ask them.
So I was wondering, DS/DL/ML people, is this how you make a move on a girl? Ask her to collect data with you?5
Kinda !rant, but still..
Most professional devs have or have had PM's/KAM's. I've had quite a few,, most I've really liked.. Now I have an issue thought, I like one a little too much,, correction there's no little about it, I fucking love her.. We do spend some time together outside of work as well, and she's become a very close personal friend.. She's really easy to work with and really good at her job, so we make a shitty working situation livable together.
But; of course, I want more, but not ruin anything,, And most of all not make her working situation uncomfortable.. I'm pretty sure she don't see me the same way..
Question: has this ever happened to anyone else? How did it turn out?
Yes, I realize the irony of asking relationship advice from the stereotypically least social group of all..
Oh, and to top it off,, my other closest friend, also works with us, and they know each other from before.. So it's kinda hard to talk to her about it..13
Its FRIDAY and soon to have weekend!! Lets get such a healing weekend by having some stretches even you can go jogging or gym. Have a healthy food, watching movie, go dating (if you have one) and get sleeping time enough. You have to live in your good life !!26
Well, from my pov that's mandatory
Here's the link to original answer :https://quora.com/What-are-the-weir...1
Lets say you used a dating app. It explicitly told you "please do not share any personally identifiable information when chatting with any boy/girl with this dating app because your chat will be stored and processed in our server to improve the recommendation algorithm of potential dates and autocompleting your flirty talk to increase your successful rate." at the beginning of the app, but you didn't read carefully and clicked "agree". After a while, you noticed the dating app already stored all your private chat in their server for machine learning.
Although legally I believe that dating app would still be GDPR compliant,
the question is, will you continue using that dating app or not?4
Friend went on date he said he is VP of technologies in a company! Girl quickly looked up LinkedIn to realise his company size is 1-10 employees ;)
Startups and dating can't go hand in hand !2
I don't care what anyone says I'm still holding on to the idea of a depressed peoples chatting/dating platform primarily focused on connecting people that don't think they are good enough and trying to make them reevaluate5
You have all this power your ancestors never ever dreamed about to command every machine that uses a random bunch of characters at your fingertips and you do what?
A dating app!4
I have quite a few interesting stories from my romantic but also technical foray into dating applications.
There was a lad who was quite attractive that I encountered on Tinder. And I thought he seemed familiar. Turns out he worked at a start-up I had visited a year earlier.
Although at the time I was looking for romance, all I could think about was discussing the pros and cons of dating websites and building at least one that functioned well. To be fair, so was he, however he just wanted a Wham Bam thank you ma'am (which I didn't). Ghosted me without even a tech hangout.
It's so hard when you encounter cool tech folks you want to befriend and pick their brain but you met them on a dating site.6
I met 2 of my friends on the job, we we're on the same team. We supported each other. We drank a bunch. We all went out a bunch. Those 2 friends started dating. Then we all decided to be roommates, because why not. 5 years later, we're still roommates and none of us work at the company we started at.
"Being a graphic designer gets you used to rejection of your brilliance. So it’s good practice for dating. " - Heather Phillips1
A dating simulator game engine for the web. I have created the engine already but I need writers/artist to make a decent demo.4
My last/current retail job: was dating the managers daughter at the time
My last tech related job: my old high school decided to dangle another job opportunity in my face then quickly snatch it away7
Quick Question Please.
For those of us who are in a dating relationship, how do you handle dating (someone you are sure you will want to get married to), tight work schedule and learning new things about tech???11
A question on corporate reality, let me know which person is doing it right :
Person A is a young enthusiastic nd curious fresher who has joined an amazing company where there is a team of seniors above him.
They ask him to work on a project, give him some guidelines which he is able to quickly grasp and come back with an output (because he loves learning and working on it and challenges himself to do it quicker than before)
This goes on and on, the new guy is giving his 100%, but company realizes it and starts expecting more of him, his 100% is not satisfactory enough, he is expected to give his 110% . He is now feeling the pressure but still liking it (because he likes learning) even though it has started to effect his personal lifestyle. He no longer has time for friends and even codes during his nap times, but still believes that he's in his prime and its okay for him to grind wheels for a better future
Person B is a lazy ass half hearted fresher who's good with public relations. He knows he can do a work in 1 hour, but still does it in 2 hours and do it bad.
He is giving his 50% and seniors know it but still are expecting to get just 70-80% out of him because of his charming and cool personna.
He's cool, now dating office girls, actively partying and is now people's favorite and living a lavish life with equal salary as that of the person A.
Who is living their youth correctly?10
Guys I need your help.
Recently there has been questions on whether there's a developer oriented dating service which made me think of buiding one.
On research I noticed that people have tried but you always end up with more people from the outside.
So I decided to make my service as developer friendly and user unfriendly as possible.
it's more command based rather than normal click and touch inteefaces.
More like the shortcuts on your ide or the terminal commands.
As part of my research involved talking to other developers and came the desire for more opinions.
here's what I have:
- Github sign in/up only
- Link github stats to account
- Messages (obviously )
- links to your social accounts
- use of devrant avatar
What am looking for is:
+ what do you guys need from a dating service.
+ name you musts, avoid the ones named by others
+ name what you expect to know about the person on the other side before talking to them and before meeting with them.8
I promised myself that if I didn't start up a new relationship by September that I would plan to start a new lease in life and move in 2019. The online dating subscription I've used for a few years will cancel at the end of this month.
I used to doubt that fate was real, but times like this make me come close to believing in it. Maybe fate is just one large karmic refactoring.4
Getting back into job hunting and job interviews after 2 years of employment is like going back to dating after being married for 5 years.
It feels weird and I'm worried I might be too forward on the questions. But I like how easy to apply for jobs now. Easy one-click apply from my LinkedIn account. Not sure if I should apply for startups or not
I spot this on a dating website:
So, I fill in their rather complicated webform to contact them. (Requires customer number and all manner of things you have to hunt out..)
Then, when I click send, it doesn't, it just sits there, forever trying to send..
Oh well, old fashioned email then to email@example.com might reach them..
One of their adverts infected is it ?1
TLDR: Read the post.
Part of me watches the day fly by as I work through the various stories and issues my company has as we walk through the various phases and clean up of their own stupidity of outsourcing. I guess it would be unfair to say “stupidity” It was really a money thing. Excuses aside, the alcohol today tastes amazing as I work through the issues, nothing is ever the same, nothing is ever redundant or boring. There are times where you want to pull your hair out, jump off a building and question why the hell any one would write code, specifically Laravel this way.
I watch the internet from now and then and see the cry babies whine and complain about GitHub and Microsoft jumping into bed and their favourite, and mine too, editor falling into Microsoft’s hands.
It’s disgusting and completely childish, but I digress. The last time I was here the alcoholism and the loneliness had begun pushing me towards the Nicotine and suicide. I have managed to obviously push through and watch the money come in only for adult life to take it away, I guess that’s life. Complaining about it will do nothing other then show others how much control you lack in your own life. You quiet your complaints and bury them deep inside your mind where they fester and stir and become drowned in alcohol.
Dating is even harder, especially when you work from home, so much so that I have completely given up there, any semblance of social life is buried in Final Fantasy 14 online, where pixels and text other people write have become my friend, at least for a moment or two before the work takes over and I sit in a room blaring music and watching the code I write, appear on screen like some savant who has high functioning autism but can create amazing works of art. I don’t think I am autistic though.
The truth is I don’t mind my job, I love the money and the freedom as I stated before.
Code for me is like a seed of anger that starts deep in my core, festering, eating away at me, killing me slowly and branding me a fool. The problem is the best feeling, when there is a problem I can solve it with code, when there is a problem that cannot be solved by code I take solace in the problems that can be. I don’t like people, I hate offices and I despise dealing with my own personal issues, I would rather drink and vape until the nicotine and the alcohol has made me sufficiently numb.
Code is a place I can escape, a place I have control, a place where I don’t feel like blowing my brains out at the stupidity of other people. Have I mentioned that I hate people?
The internet is full of idiots, people ranting and raving about this and that and how it affects them oh so much, when they don’t even let their own code, there own programming problems, and in most cases shitty solutions, affect them. Look at this GitHub thing, the idiots are running around with their heads cut off, waiting for the world to end or in most cases acting like it has. Companies get bought, bill get paid, people leave each other – Shut the fuck up and deal with it.
I guess if you look back at what I have written you could say the same thing to me, boo-fucking-hoo working from home sucks sometimes, grow up and deal with it like an adult. Fair enough, I’ll take my lumps. Excuse me as I continue to drink this post away and watch the downvotes come in. I guess honesty comes with a double edge sword.
And yes I would rather use alcohol as a solution then deal with the issues.16
One of the ways I met a girl was helping her program her clubs website. Surprisingly a great way to talk about interests, likes, and dating (making an about page OP)
Don't really know if this is an appropriate question to throw on here but what the heck.
So I'm thinking about trying to look into the dating scene again. I'm in my late 20's and about a year away from graduating college so I figured I have the time to try it again. The thing is the last time I was dating I was a freshmen and I had been in a long term thing but it flat-lined a year ago. My life is different now and meeting people has changed too.
How does someone who's a career focused developer find someone in the dating pool post-college? For an FYI I've done mainstream sites like eHarmony with a moderate amount of success but nothing that really lasted beyond 2 meetups. (Meeting people at random locations for the sake of it has never been my thing so bars are sort of a non starter).
We love getting feedback, so I'd appreciate any I get from you guys. :)2
Didn’t affect dating.
But on call sometimes has affected what will be 15 years of marriage this year.
I reckon there appears two ways to get a date via Facebook:
Empty profile and no picture.
Then people will message you to find out if you are worth dating or not. (On the basis, that no one else has bothered to check you out.. )
Your profile has enough information for them to figure out if you are worth dating or not.
If just a picture, you'd better be attractive looking enough in it !
And it helps to be in a suitably attractive location at the same time..
If you have links to your websites, they better have worthy content..
I'll find out if I'm right after I improve my websites, my body, and find a good place to have my picture taken !38
Anyone have good links for the Python411 podcast mp3s dating back from 2005-present?
Site is here
but the links are not longer valid except for the first one. I'd like to listen to this podcast during work and can't seem to find it while searching. Anyone have an alternate link/stash of these mp3s? Thanks1
Should I try?
Some obscure dating app would come out I guess o_o (considering I get depressive when drunk :D)
I guess coding is a coping mechanism for not matching on any dating sites and hence no dates...
I guess you could say it helps me find alternative methods to release my per up desires... Although I guess a real relationship is something it can't replace...
Some 10 years ago when I was studying my associated degree at college, the academic program director came to our classroom and gave us a sheet to put down our emails to update our info.
So, as told everyone passed down the sheet and when he started reading it, he asked right away in public to my friend(his name is angel and academic program director will be APD):
APD: angel, is your email really as written? firstname.lastname@example.org (that roughly translates to email@example.com)
Angel: *blushes* yes...
My friend by that time just started cyber-dating a girl called danna, so he was very corny about it... even created a new email account with that looong address
PS: just remembered this history because some new user called @thisnameAndthisname1
I'm FRICKIN' TIRED of all the 'devs forever alone' memes! I mean I have a girlfriend and reading rants here I've come across various people in relationships.....then why still all the jokes and hate? I know it can be tough dating a dev but still it's not impossible! Let's start a poll here.....how many of you claim to be 'not single'?6
I have come up with my greatest drunken idea, but I don't have the time. So I'm calling on you to make my dream come true. *dramatic music* Hanson Bot! The natural language dating site bot that poses as an underage girl, banking all interactions, setting a meet, and forwarding it to the local police. Chris Hanson... You thought you were safe... I'm gonna automate your job!1
I would end up on top of any other trend thing needed by humanity.
- building better AI's, building better robots
- neural networking
- quantum computing
- robot dating service
- artificial life
- holodeck design and construction
- free energy (any kind)
- running a private space shipyard
- research into new and unknown technology
And last, if nothing works, I would open up a deli on Mars. The robots would make the food anyway, I would probably only program the menu and fix them when they malfunction.
I do not feel insecure in my competency as software/Firmware engineer but i started feeling really insecure about being an engineer , mostly because the way Society in general place us
usually it's like
surgeon > physician > Scientist (or any basic science person) > engineer
i didn't realise this before but recently i noticed and i stopped introducing myself as engineer to the people i meet either from my family or from dating apps. Here is the conversation that usually happens
Person: what do you do ?
Me: I build things
Person: so what do build ?
Me: My work involves building lot of things related to smart phone's wireless capabilities.
Person: oh so you manufacture phones ?
Me: No i work in connectivity part of it like bluetooth , wifi
Person: I don't understand, does it involve staring at computers all day (makes a face )
Me: yes 90% of it , I like building things making something new HW or SW and most of them do require a use of computer , even if I was a mechanical engineer computers would be necessary
Person: Hmm if i was not a surgeon i would be hair dresser , because i can't do anything that involves staring at computers all day.
same conversation happened multiple times.
no matter how good you are at writing code or how important task that code is performing , society consider's Software Engineering as a mundane task of " staring at screen "
if that song Remember the name is written for software engineers it will go like
This is ten percent luck
Twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure
Fifty percent pain
And a hundred percent reason to live in disdain7
Seeing an Elementor ad on Facebook is so annoying to web developer because it's like your ex who constantly reminds you of how bad you are in sex despite the fact that you are not dating a super model.
Been stuck a week with JSON serializer struggles on the backend I'm working on... First of all, this project has source code dating back to 2013, and the dudes back then decided to use three versions of json. So you have your usual application/json and then two custom ones.
Not happy with that, they decide on using two serializers, XStream and Jackson. One custom and application/json run through XStream, and the other more legacy custom JSON runs through Jackson. So this is a bloody mess.
But now they want application/json running through Jackson, and this is breaking all the regression tests. Have to reimplement all the type, field, alias and other kinds of mappings they made for XStream, and sort out all the regressions this causes.
And the dude who designed all of this is revered in the company, although he left a while back. Not sure if I'm too much of an idiot to understand the utter brilliance of the approach, or its just poorly designed... Fuck my life, those due dates just keep creeping closer and closer and this kinda crap just keeps coming :S2
Recruiter left his firm to start his own, so he tried to set me up with my current company but I turned it down because it was 6k less than where I was. I would have accepted 3k less, but ended the process. A few months later, the recruiter was out of the picture and the director invited me to lunch. The recruiter was dating the owners daughter, never went back to them with my counter.
When I was started my journey in coding, what ever I do, I think about coding. Sleep code, eat code, dream code, dating code. Its become my usually nightmares.
Its become worst when I got stucked in coding. Ppl see me like a geek zombie.
Coding used to ruin my life.
But when my code working like charm, feel like god. I can do anything. 😂😂😂
Sometime l just love it, but most of the time I fucking hate it.
Many decades ago, people thought about future by writing stories and making movies with flying cars and made up technology beyond belief but what we got today are food ordering apps and dating apps.
Well, its good those cars never came out, because I would rather order food at home and watch Netflix than fly around.3
Too many “helpful” people, as well as counselors, said the wrong things to me early on. These people https://loveawake.com/free-online-d... really do not understand the harm they heap upon the injured. I am convinced that our second marriage counselor was a cheater himself. He talked A LOT about himself, bragged about his education (narcissist), mentioned his stepkids often, and drove something that screamed midlife crisis (same as my cheating husband).
<p><img src="https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2016/..." width="880"></p>
Yeah, pretty sure he was a cheater living in a second marriage. Only saw that counselor twice, but I got the feeling his main purpose was to defend the guilty (when he wasn’t talking about himself). Kept saying we needed to make sure our children did not look at the cheating husband in a bad light. Huh? Had he not listened to anything we said? I had already told him of how I suffered from the Gaslighting (even though I didn’t know that term at the time).
My husband had convinced me, our children, extended family, and his coworkers that I was insane. I had been spinning in a state of confusion for the last six months of the affair, knowing he had to be cheating, but being made to question my sanity. Our two adult sons came to me repeatedly during the affair to scold me for my behavior during our 24 year marriage. I would just cry and didn’t know what to say to them. He never gaslighted our younger daughter directly, but he did lure her away from me, with movie dates, trips to concerts and theme parks. If I pressed to go, he would tell me things like, you don’t enjoy those things, or we can’t afford a third ticket, but you can take her instead of me if you like. Of course, I always backed down. He knew I would. Wow, he makes well into six figures, and I bought that?! Maybe I WAS crazy. It was as though he was playing single dad while still living with and sleeping with his wife. My daughter and I had always been close before this. And he would conduct horrible screaming fights right in front of her. I would stand there confused, because it felt like the heat level did not match the situation.
I had known this man most of my life, and I did not recognize him. To this day, I am angry with myself for withdrawing and not taking action sooner. I know that my relationship with my children will never, ever be the same. This selfish man destroyed the innocents, destroyed what had been a close-knit family. So yeah, that is what our cheating-man counselor should have been talking about. In our situation, the betrayed spouse needed reputation repair, not the cheater. The kids needed to see that I did not cause their father to stray. And I needed serious mental health counseling. I am still furious at that counselor. Waste of money. He owes us a $200 refund!
TMW you're dating a nurse and between her criticism of medical procedure and your own criticism of the portrayal of technology and "hacking" you can't sit through any movie without finding it flawed.
Non "dev"-rant, more of a social/relationship/life rant..
Just,, fuck,, my,, life..
Backstory; I have some issues, I'm not normal, socialy, so I finally gave up on life, do just enough to continue providing for my daughter (cause her mother is more fucked up than me), that means letting go of any chance of happiness, dating, the few friends I had and so forth.
The latter simply means that I stop trying to keep em around, because that's how it's always been, and they're all gone, all except one. THE one, the one I work with, the one I fell totally in love with a year ago, the one that is the first and last thing of the day on my mind, the one I had to tell my feelings for, the one that I really need some distance from.. But no. She's the one that won't let me go..
I'm on my way to a concert right now, a concert I tried inviting her to a few months ago, she wasn't interested,, For some reason I opened Instagram right now,, bam, right in my face. Her,, in full makeup, which she never wares, posting a selfie, which she never does..
Whish I could say why life is so fucked, but take my word for it, it just is.. And guess what, After the Christmas holiday, one day in, she probably noticed that something was "off".. and she immediately suggest that we take one of our "dinner dates" next week, and I'd bet that the first question is "you're beeing wierd, what's up?", and all I can say, again, is "can't talk about it".. cause I really can't, anything I say is that much to much..
Yes, this rant is mostly focused on "her", but to get a hold of my state of mind, I've given up, and just accepted that I should never have any kind of social life, cause that's simply best for everyone.
And if you wonder why I'm posting this here, I don't have time for a therapist, and "she" is my PM at work, where I'm THE senior developer.. Every issue that anyone else haven't been able to solve, ends up in my lap. She calls me magic on a daily basis..
Yes, I'm drunk as fuck right now..1
Soooo what would be wrong for a developer to aim for a partner in a similar profession or the same?
I had my fair share of exp now and must say that i really love what i do and am really into learning and developing and applying all that I learn. I missed that drive in the dates that I had. I feel passion, purpose and understanding with what we as devs deal all day would be really helpful for a prolonged relationship. I dont wanna go for a power coupling but it would be nice to have ur partner on board no??3
Help me decide what app to build?!
Go to many idea's! At this point I change my mind every other second between thinking I've to the next million dollar app and to why do I even code.
What to build next?
1 I got this dating app idea where people find each other through a profile matching algorithm, but do not see pictures of each other yet. They chat first. Like Blind Dating on your mobile.
2 A textual corporate takeover game app, where you're an Acquirer and based on simulated economic properties you can acquire companies. Thinking of a detailed simulation where you've go to deal with news, sentiment, customers, employees, stock, value, etc. Buy companies, risk it all kind of thing.
3 A chatbot Assistant which makes calender events, looks up the weather for you, etc.
4 TheInterviewer. A app that helps companies interview people (for jobs). App provides a structured way of interviewing people and keep notes of applicants to review later. Never forget.
5 None of the above6
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It's always hard to balance time between romantic affairs and programming projects when both are going on simultaneously. I've been talking to a girl at my college, and even though she doesn't take up much of my time, I still feel like it's harder to make time for my programming. I guess this is more of dating affecting my code, but I personally prioritize code over dating currently in life.