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I hate conversations that are empty like when you speak and there is nothing usefull or funny inside it.
Here's what actually happened.
A colleague and I were discussing what to get for lunch and a third one walks in and says
"Soo food... You guys like eating food i like eating food too.. oh you like eating x I don't like that I like eating this other food y and I this food z is also amazing. Once I went to this place that had this other food that was amazing. P blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah"
I sit there pretending to give a fuck while I imagine a sniper bullet going through that empty skull in slow motion
Then I accidentally let you a laugh got up in the middle of the conversation and walked away.
Now they think I'm creepy and will not be talking to me again
So all's well that ends well -
Root797786y"Let me save your breath. I don't care about your bike, nor do I care about Andrew's pregnant dog. Now excuse me; I have things to do that are actually worth my time."
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Have you thought of using an if/else statement.
If (full of shit) {walk away (); }
else {listen attentively;} -
MrBob336y@cervantes01 smoother condition may apply as
if (shit_rate == 1.0) {
say("this is all nonsense");
walk_away();
} else if (0.5 <= shit_rate < 1.0) {
walk_away();
} else if (0.2 <= shit_rate < 0.5) {
original = shit_rate;
listen(30);
if (shit_rate > original) {
walk_away();
} else {
listen(attentively)
}
} else if (0 <= shit_rate < 0.2) {
listen(attentively)
} else {
panic("shit rate out of bounds!")
}
Related Rants
Is it just me or the patterns of speech of some people get increasingly more annoying when you realize they speak with callbacks.
For example:
Person1: "Oh, I gotta tell you about the color of my new bike"
Me: "Nice, so what did you decide?"
Person2: "I was undecided about which color to select because of what happened to Andrew, Andrew told his his girlfriend, which by the way got recently pregnant, I can't believe she is expecting! She looks so young. Do you know how old is she?"
Me: "No, but she does look young"
Person2: "Yeah, I wish I looked that young. I have been trying to get in shape again but I have been so busy lately. My boss has been giving me so many assignments lately and I have been having to neglect my dog which is a shame cause he is such a good doggo. The other day we went to the park and someone left the door open and he didn't chase the cars. Do you remember when he was a puppy and he kept pulling the leash trying to chase the cars?"
Me: "Yeah, I remember being scared of him getting run over by a car. I am glad he isn't doing that anymore"
Person2: "Yeah, when I was 15 years old I had a dog that died just like that, it was so traumatic. His name was Jack and he was so feisty. As a matter of fact most small dogs I have seen are feisty."
...
And so on. In the back on my mind I have to keep track of some unanswered questions like: What happened to Andrew? What color is the bike? And the conversation keeps getting derailed. It's exhausting and it feels just like if I was reading code with a lot of callbacks.
rant
people
callbacks
js