The world is about to end

Watching normal people use a computer is incredibly painful.
* slow typing
* slow mouse movements
* mouse is used for everything
* instead of hitting the back button, they'll load up a website and go through 6 pages again.
* no shortcuts!

Someone lost their tabs today (Windows crashed), so I said "press ctrl + shift + T". They were so amazed that keys could do something so advanced.
Dhcosncowhtoehwurt hrnxkxxhry he.

Honestly, if people learned how to use keyboards to their full potential, they could shave off 1-2 hours of their normal work PER DAY!

So I was spending Christmas at my girlfriend's house with her family. One morning we hear her grandad talking on the phone and we ask him who it is. He says that someone called him, saying that they're Cox tech support and need remote access to his PC. Naturally, we all freak out and ask what he's told them. He gives us a look and says "Nothing, I'm not a bloody moron. I've been wondering how people steal data these days, and this seemed like an opportunity to figure it out." The guy used to work for the British gov't as an industrial/chemical engineer back when computers used punch cards and he's still got it.

SOCIOLOGY: People are rational
MARKETING: People are stupid
ECONOMICS: People are money
GOOGLE: People are data
HR: People are ressources
EINSTEIN: People are relative
PORN: People suck dicks
RAP: ...yeah..... uh-huh ....... Okay....... Here we go......
THAT GUY WHO'S ALWAYS HIGH: Peeeoooopl? Hohohahaaa
WIKIPEDIA, poshly: People are a plurality of persons considered as a whole, as is the case with...
ALEX DE LARGE: People are fucking assholes, dicks, cunts!...
VEGAN: I'm a vegan
DEVELOPER: People? What's that? A JavaScript framework?

People be like:

"Just sell your projects. And stop releasing things for free! You will make a lot of money."

"Hey, can you lend me money for this software?" - "how much?" - "30$" - "Woah what the fuck do you think kiddo? That's way too expensive! I don't shit gold!"

I love listening to music and reading on the train every morning. On my way to the station, I get a text, "DUDE. ***** committed suicide."

He was a good friends of ours from high school. I remember once he got a few of us to go caving on homecoming since none of us had dates. He'd never finish a candy bar; would give half of everything away. He once drove out to California to try to start over; lasted three days and came home, but through a girl he met he was in Hawaii for a year.

He lived a lot of life, and he had a heart of gold.

I didn't get out my ebook on my phone. I didn't even put my headphones in.

I had lost another close friend from University while I was overseas. I remember being in the city art gallery when I got the news. I walked right out to the harbor, fell to my knees and cried. I always thought one day I'd be home and could shoot the shit with my old roommate. Now he was gone, and the only thing I had from him was a text from 10 days before saying, "I haven't been doing too well, but thanks for asking."

I'm back in another software engineering job, on the train to an 8-to-5, shakin it for the money. I couldn't read on the commute. I just looked out that window as the train car descended into the subway, and thought to myself, "What am I even doing anyway?"

I'm in my mid-30s; too young to be losing people like this.

I'm sorry man. I wish we had caught up sooner. I wish you weren't gone, but I know you're at peace.

Biggest hurdle: torn between having boobs and missing an arm. I swear some people are under the assumption the brain is in the arm.

I am fully capable of building your network, resolving your outage due to your faulty code, can even tell you how many users your database can support at once. I don't need arms for that. Nor do my boobs distract me that badly.

"but men are going to make your life so hard" yup. And that's true no matter where i go

"all that typing with one arm can't be good for your back" welp. Find me a job that doesn't require a computer. Or manual labor. If you think typing will fuck me up, that's DEFINITELY out of the equation

"you're too pretty, there's no way this can make sense" dafuq you just say?!?!

"why don't you just stay home on disability, I'm sure you qualify, you wouldn't need to work" I'd rather be a fucking trophy wife if I'm staying at home. Fuck that.

And many more.

Sometimes they're fun. Give me more dumb arguments to counter? ;)

Please be gentle, first rant here.

I'm a hobby .NET Developer, so nothing serious, but when a "close" friend asked me if i could help him, i saw my opportunity to show my skills.
Said "close" friend is working for a non profit agency and deals with a lot of people, so he asked for a database with some extras. The task was fairly easy and i needed 2 weeks (besides my real Job), to get what he wants.
The big day comes and I show him my work. He was very pleased with it, and also I did it for free, he paid me actually really good money for it. I designed that DB as idiot proof as possible, but i should have known better.
2 month went by without a single crash or any other Problems, but yesterday i received a call..
Him: Your Update broke everything!! fix it asap!!
Me: What happend, I did not push an update for 2 month.
Him: You A**hole, its all your fault!!

After like 5 mins of swearing, I agreed to come over and have a look.
Oh boii, you would'nt believe how stupid some people can be..
Let me tell you, he got 2 files "ProgrammName.exe" and "ProgrammName_Database" and this idiot of a Person thought "hmm my PC ist getting kinda slow, let me delete some junk, so he goes ahead and deletes the whole Database and calls me stupid names, because he lost all his data, and no, MR.I GOT 20 TOOL-BARS INSTALLED AND I DELETE SOME JUNK ASS FILES, I DONT HAVE A BACKUP OF YOUR STUFF!!

So now you know why i called him "close" friend..

People don't know how to use a normal laptop anymore.

This year I had at least three people touching my display multiple times, wondering why it doesn't respond to it. Totally clueless how to use it at all.

One of them worked for the biggest german ISP in the past.

Human degeneration is real.

Train your people...

I'm tired of working for small companies.

I'm always either the sole developer, or the only dev for a specific stack, and therefore don't have anyone to ask for help. If I can't figure something out, it just doesn't get done.

It also means I don't have anyone to bounce ideas off, do code reviews with, or even friggin' have someone who understands what I do.

It sucks.

It would be nice to have someone I could actually ask for help! As it stands, I tear my hair out in frustration until I'm desperate enough to beg for help on discord or SO. whereupon, of course, I get ignored, as per usu. asdjfklasdjf

It really sucks.

It also means that I'm often surrounded entirely by sales people and managers... you know, those super-talkative people? who basically get paid just to talk? and are absolutely computer illiterate? Yeah. Think someone who says "I need my deliverables by end-of-week," "customer success representative," "turnkey solution," etc. completely seriously. (ew).

They're the people who constantly wonder why I can't push `n` features in `n/4` days, and ofc can't understand anything I say in response because of the aforementioned illiteracy. They're also the people who, almost every week, ask how long `y` is going to take, and then yell "But I need it by Friday! I just sold 50 clients on it!" (And they do this, of course, without ever asking for timelines)

It really fucking sucks.

Though I suppose larger companies would still have these problems.

but at least I could ask for help once in awhile. that would be nice.

Google searching should be a school subject. There is so much people that dont know how to use it

Honestly if the StackOverflow community was set on fire and I had a huge tank of water

People in Africa wouldn't die from thrist anymore.

Boss: I saw that you are using {some JavaScript library}, why?

Me: you asked for this functionality and the library is very good for that

Boss: here at our company we do not use code from other people, we write everything ourselves

Me: but this library is very well built, actively developed and supported

Boss: I don't care, please rewrite this component

Suffice to say, I quit that job asap. Whoever thinks it's a good idea write so much code for a small purpose in an application when there is something available open source to use, is stupid. In most cases it's better to use something which is out there than to waste time writing a hardly stable version of it.

My mother just came in after some swearing in the room below me...

💩 "The printer doesn't work."
🎀 "What happens?"
💩 "nothing"
🎀 "Something -has- to happen."
💩 "..."
🎀 "what does the error message say?"
💩 "..."
💩 ".........."
💩 "..............."
🕛
🕐
🕜 30 seconds pass by, she starring at my legs, making weird faces and finally:
💩 "Nothi... It... Printer not... Ready to print... Or... I didn't memorize it!!"

People. Don't make up stuff just because you fear to sound stupid. That's what makes you look stupid in the first place. Also learn how to use devices and don't just say "it doesn't work and nothing at all happens".

Literally every group project in school, not even dev related 😐
Everyone hated me, the boys bullied me and no one worked on anything and the moment I started to work on it because I didn't want to be the one who gets all the fault for the project not being finished, everyone decided I should be the one to present it.

To top that, I have social anxiety issues because of all the bullying in school and to this day still have recurring nightmares of school although I quit years ago.

So you might be able to imagine how hard presenting a project in front of the class was for me, as it's already hard for most people.

I am new to Linux and still trying to figure out the CLI
Luckily my colleague and good friend helped me out with a list!

Fucking piss off with telling people to calm down in the comments to their own rants, for motherfuck's sake!

To rant is why they come here in the first place, so maybe YOU are at the wrong place, if you don't like that.

Just fuck off and spam some useless Facefuck group with your uninvited presence or agree with delusional social justice warriors on Twatter, if you have to express your useless 'opinion'.

If that doesn't work either, choke on my throbbing cock, so you shut up for at least a few minutes.

Fucking hell, yeah! I would never have thought I'd ever have to specifically emphasize that, but I'm glad I work with actual professionals now.

Finally a company that considers me what I am: a professional. They don't try to fuck me over at any goddamn opportunity, they ask me for help without considering me a smartass, and they help me without thinking I'm an idiot.

It's really weird that I hate almost everybody on first sight, but the company I currently work with now consists ENTIRELY of people I instantly liked. That's like a fucking jackpot, like winning the freaking lottery.

Am I dead, heaven actually exists, and heaven's bouncers are dumber than Berlin's club bouncers or what?

True. Fucking. Bliss.

When people say: "All you do is sit in front of your PC doing stuff. Get a life"
Me: This is my life!

Guys, you're all right. Time to delete this cancer called Facebook that is full of stupid people.

Just now someone seriously added me as a friend, said we don't know each other and then asked me "what's your name?"

Like what the fuck.

Two types of people in this world.
Those who press Ctrl+Shift+Esc.
Those who press Ctrl+Alt+Del and click on Task Manager.

I have this old lady that I help from time to time with her computer issues.

She is nice, so I feel compelled to help her.

Get a call one day.

Lady : "hello, my internet and email isn't working, I've tried everything, could you maybe help me?"

Me : "Sure, ill come over after work and check it out"

*arrive at her house*

Lady : "you see, none of the web pages load, and my email refuses to sync. Should I call (insert isp name), or can you fix it?"

Me : I'm sure I can get it, gimme a sec.

*find the issue in a sec or two, dunno how to tell her about it, she isn't totally stupid*

Me : "Uhh, I don't know if you checked, but the ether.. internet cable isn't plugged in"

Lady : *realizes the wtf moment I'm having, obviously feeling very stupid*

Me : "Don't worry, happens to the best of us"

Obviously I lied a little, most of us would probably check the damn cable. Sometimes is just better to make people not feel like its their fault. People learn better when they don't feel like something is making a fool of them.

I have helped this lady with so many things that are just straight out of this world.

The one time she tried emailing 37mb tiff files over her 315kbps network.

Another time she said her email was not syncing, so I went to her house and clicked the "sync" button.

She even once phoned me to get their wifi password.

I just like helping her, somehow it makes me feel as if we all have something to learn.

rant && !dev

I've never felt more of an urge to kick a guy's fucking face in with my freaking combat boots as much as tonight. I really had to constrain myself not to fucking kill that whorse-blowing bastard on the spot.

But let me explain:

There are currently storm warnings given in Berlin. My girl friend called me, public transport was at a halt for tonight, because of of the bad weather. We agreed to meet in front of a bank inside the Alexanderplatz train station here in Berlin in order to take the subway home together.

I was annoyed by all the fucking people, had a headache and was hungry, because I hadn't eaten in 12+ hours, so naturally I was pissed off even more than usual, but I got there on time.

I was listening to an audio book, walking up and down the isle while waiting, because there was no place to sit down or lean and I disn't feel like standing around.

There was already a security guard standing around stupidly, but I didn't quite notice the fucker until the following happened (translated to English, of course):

GUARD (tapping at my shoulder from behind which I fucking hate to begin with – if you're a man, as you claim to be, start confrontations face to face, you cock-swallowing prick!): "What are you doing here?"

ME (pretty much already visibly pissed off, but trying to stay calm): "I don't know why that would be any of your business, but I'm waiting for my girlfriend."

GUARD (looks at me with a dumb, empty squit): "You don't have a girlfriend"

ME: "Yeah, as if you'd know. But I know you're kind, trying to make trouble, provoking me to get physical, so you can have a little fun at my cost. This isn't going to work." (then, while already turning around carwfully watching the prick): "By the way, there are cameras everywhere, so if you want me to hit you, you're gonna have to throw the first one." (putting my headphones back on, continuing to walk up and down)

GUARD (obstructing): "You better leave now."

ME (absolutely steaming now, yet managing to keep my calm): "No. There is no reason to." (walking aroubd the fucker)

GUARD: "Do you think I'm stupid? I …

ME: (Before he could finish whatever bullshit he was coming up with): "Yes"

GUARD: "I'm gonna get you barred, asshole"

ME: "Yeah, go on, will be hard to find a good reason for that, though." (continuing my walk up and down)

GUARD (leaves, trying to look super determined, conibg back after almost five minutes, alone, of course)

ME (so pissed off about this cubt that I was now actively trying to engage him for fun): "False alarm? Or are you trying this shit often enough, so nobody believes you anymore? What a loser. You should have stayed in school, idiot. You're lucky there are cameras, arsehole" etc.

GUARD (looking nervous now)

My girlfriend appeared about three minutes after that, went in the bank go get money, I told her about the fucktard outside, but he was there, listening to us.

GIRLFRIEND (easily irascible too, but less agressive than me): "Let's write down hos name in front of him, then leave."

But as she was done, he was gone already.

Fucking prick. Hadn't there been any cameras, I'd have enjoed a little tapdance on his fucking face. I fucking hate stuoid people, particularly ones like this fucknut, trying to make his job fun by pissing off random strangers. I hope a fucking tree hit him tonight and smashed his goddamn chest and makes him a fucking cripple. That oughta hurt ebough should he pound it like a stupid gorilla in front of a stranger the next time.

!dev && fuckPeople

Yesterday I went to a metal show here in Berlin together with a good friend (bands: Space Chaser, Insanity Alert, Stallion, Streethawk, Fabulous Desaster).

The show was great, the bands were excellent, the beer plentiful and my neck hurt from all the headbanging and drinking. After the show my pal and me got a bite to eat, then went home by public transport. My pal got out the station before mine.

Until I reached my destination station everything was cool, but when I got out of the train two stupid drunk motherfuckers obstructed and tried to start making trouble. Why always me? Because I look bulky and large and 'not an easy target'? If so, why do these pricks pick unfair fights then? Anyway:

Since I was in a good mood, I tried humor and calming them down without making them more angry, got through them and wanted to straight up the stairs which were 20 meters away, when on of them grabbed me by the shoulder and sked me why I had bumped into him rather aggressively.

My good mood was gone. I told him if he would let people get out of the train this wouldn't happen, but he was drunk and apparently wouldn't let me go without some kind of fight. And I was right. He told me he'd beat the shit out of me, so I said, why not do it above the ground, there is a light source so he'd have a better chance against me. I was intentionally arrogant to piss him off and get him to go up, because there are no cameras, plus I knew I could beat them both if I played unfair too which I had no bad conscience about doing.

We went up, I let those idiots go first, so they wouldn't attack me from behind and when we got up I punched the loud-mouthed motherfucker right in the face with all the strength I could build up from below (I was still on the last step before the top and he was already standing there grinning like an idiot, turning his face to his friend when I hit him).

Pretty sure I broke his fucking jaw. Needless to say the other guy wasn't keen on fighting anymore, when he saw his buddy hit the ground. I threw his friend's beer bottle after his feet, but intentionally missed, so he'd have to jump out of the way which he did, then I used the diversion to run in the opposite direction home.

Motherfuckers. Berlin seems to be full of this type of arseholes, lately. This shit city really makes you fucking aggressive. I'll be honest, I was so nervous, I could have vomited. Nevertheless, if I see those guys ever again, I'm going to fucking kill them.

Lamer rant

For a really long time I said to myself that this is too basic to rant about but lately it became so frequent and extreme that here is my rant about completely clueless users that ask me IT related questions.

Disclaimer: Said users are people that I generally can't avoid. Distant family members, neighbors and etc.

Case 0:
U: I don't know what's happening!! The computer doesn't work!!
M: What do you mean?
U: There's no Facebook! And everything is stuck and no messenger!!!
M: The WiFi on your laptop was off. I turned it on. Still, this doesn't mean that the pc wasn't working.
U: I don't understand this shit!!!

Case 1:
U: I hate this computer!!! It never works!!! Help meeee!!!
M: What now?
U: Where did the internet disappear?!
M: (assuming it's wifi or browser related)
Actually user moved the Chrome window to bottom-right corner and lost it.

Every time I try to show the user how I resolve the issue the user yells that there are too many steps, that they are complicated and that I'm a bad teacher and doing it too fast.

Case 2:
U: My computer is so slow! It barely can load google translate! And I can't listen to music on youtube!! Shitty laptop! It's you! Your computers in the apartment drain everything!!!
M: You have no idea what you are talking about.
U: My husband told me that your computers are heavy and drain everything!
M: What exactly did he tell you that my devices drain?
U: I don't know! All the energy! I believe him! He knows!
M: My computers drain less electricity than your vacuum and I have a separate internet connection. Not only we share nothing but also I drain nothing.
U: Since you appeared all the computers are slow!!!!

Fkk...

Case 3:
U: I don't understand, where is my whatsapp?
M: You can't locate the app on your phone?
U: Yes! F*ck, help me! I'm so angry and I really need this NOW!!!
M: Shut up. I'm already here and helping.
(I open users phone and whatsapp is the active app...)
U: I can' t find my whatsapp with Clara!

F*ck you! F*ck you! Ghckjfshij!!!

Case 4:
(crazy hitting on my door)
U: I don't have THE internet!!!
It's you again! You took all of THE internet!!!
M: No, it doesn't work like that. Your provider is bad, your package is cheap and your cables are of low quality.
U: I need THE internet immediately!!! Stop playing with your typing and fix the facebook or I'll cut the power cables to the house!!

I can go on, just don't think that recalling all those events is healthy for me.

There are two kinds of people in this world

I've just been looking through the games 'suggested' to me by Steam. What a crock of shit.

If you're game developer and nobody wants to buy your games, just put some zombies in the game, on the cover or add 'and zombies' to their titles. Trust me, that'll work.

People really fucking like zombies. People are also really fucking stupid. There is definitely are relation between those facts.

You: "Buy my game '563646th Tetris Clone'!"
Gamers: "No."
You: "Hmm. Sudo buy my game '563646th Tetris Clone'!"
Gamers: "Wut? No."
You: "Fuck. Buy my game '563646th Tetris Clone Titty Edition'
Gamers: "Tempting, but no."
You: Buy my game '563646th Tetris Clone And Zombies'
Gamers: "SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!"

Bunch of fucking tools.

At job interview.

Interviewer: Have you ever thought about why manhole covers are round?

Me: It's to accommodate different body shapes of sewer workers.

Interviewer: Hahah. It's actually so the covers wouldn't fall in.

Me: It used to be like that, but they changed it.

Interviewer: What? Who changed it?

Me: The lizard people!

Interviewer: What?!

Me: * cowers in corner and hisses *

In my previous company, I used to work for a client company which had a terrible website. It was about financial data and people would have to wait too long before the page loaded because there was a freaking 1.2 megs of minified, compressed JS file that needed to load before you could do anything.

Everyone knew that was a pain in the ass and nobody wanted to touch spaghetti code and mess up something they didn't know.

I wanted to however take a shot at it. So an architect from client side and I discussed how we were gonna go about it and how we were gonna find the stuff that needed to load on page load and stuff that could be loaded later.

So we plan for it. We broke everything down from a globals polluting JS, found out the variables and functions that needed to run during first load by literally putting a console statement for each function and finally came up with two bundles.

The primary bundle was 120kb and would during first load and then every module would call it's own secondary bundle when the user interacted with it.

In the process, we removed half a meg of JS and the site became blazing fast.

I did it with a team of two members who, my manager thought were useless, learned a ton of stuff, setup proper process for the transition.

When the client didn't appreciate the amount of brain and effort we had put into it, these two members came forward to tell the client to acknowledge my effort and attributed the success of it to me.

I was totally moved. There was so much respect that I didnt care what anybody else thought. I was just so happy to work with those two humans.

When i left the company, i gifted them stuff they always talked about or wanted. :) Feels good.

How much I hated it when my family members told me that I had a "computer addiction" back then when I still went to school. And "all you do is playing games", when in reality I only started to really play games some years ago - when I didn't need to go to school and wasn't stressed from it anymore.

Today everything my mother does is watching TV the whole day, not listening to anything I tell her (I need to repeat everything at least twice. And I REALLY mean everything.) and when I ask her what it is about what she's watching, she doesn't know.

What was it? -I- was addicted? 🤔

I hate people who not only didn't understand anything about what I did (learning dev things) but also talked bullshit about it like that.

Heard similar things from other devs, too. Seems to be a general problem.

Am I the only one who hates people who just use their phone speakers in public? I mean when they play a game or listen to music in a bus... Is it that difficult to plug your headphones in? Because of you 30+ people have to suffer because only 1-2 actually like the stuff you play... Honestly should be a law to not use phone speakers in public without surrounding approval..

I'm not your fucking dude. I'm not your bro, bruh, or pal either. And I'm sure as death are not your goddam friend. I only have a handful of real friends on purpose, because people are trouble. Don't confuse kindness with friendship or respect with love.

Piss the fuck off and take your shit with you. I don't care whether you live forever or die today. Just go; go quick and go far away.

My thoughts today:

Don't worry, it's not you.
I simply lack the natural ability to explain it for stupid people.

We should really think about writing "New Password" or something like that in our registration forms.

The amount of times people asked me "Should I insert the password of my email account or a new one? That is so confusing!" is not funny anymore.

Mouse pads are for poor people. Rich and genuine developers always use laptops.

*Walks off in a cloud of gold dust

Normal people post selfies on Instagram and get comments like "omg so sexy 😘"

Developers post stuff like this in devRant and get comments like "omg so sexy 😎":

Who wants a free combat boot facial?

I'm fucking pissed off again today! One hour of fucking public transportation is usually enough to make me plan a fucking genocide.

Smokers sitting next to you who smell like ashtrays somebody pissed into, people who only seem to come to think about body hygiene every third time full moon falls on the 29th of February, and those fucking alcoholics Berlin is filled to the brim with, who just have to fucking talk to you at all costs, despite whatever kind of counter signals you're sending …

If I ever happen to scrape enough money together to do this, the first thing I'm gonna do is get a personal driver, and a car with a black wall between us, so I don't have to listen to their fucking life story either.

I don't care, people, I really don't. You're all equally fucking worthless to me, so fuck off with your blabbering and your boring ass life stories and just stop talking to me.

A moment of respect to people who willingly spend time to help out other people on sites such as StackOverflow

So a guy wants to start a company with me. He wants to be CEO 👨‍💼 I'm fine with it but now he also wants me to obey every one of his orders such as attend long unplanned meetings, go do market research, code the app and for what, a mere 5%. He gets a bigger cut of the income because he came up with the idea 💡, he also gets to sit and order me around because he's read a few books on business and economics. People don't seem to understand the difference between having an idea and implementation. I just left and said no to every offer he had the highest of which was 10%, don't be worried about the money he says this is a real opportunity for you. I mean wtf is wrong with some people.

So... What is it with those "HTML programmers", people who claim to be devs or webdesigners and when you ask what languages they know they'll only answer with "HTML"?

What are they even doing the whole day with html only?

Do they ever realize how stupid they sound, claiming to be a dev or most often a "programmer"?

What do their projects look like?
And are they really proud of their html only white pages with all that shiny, beautiful blue and purple links?

I don't get those people.
Had a lot of them back in school.

Manager in 1-1: You tell people they are stupid too often.... Dial it back a bit

Me: They are.

I like how when you put a device in "Developer Mode", it doesn't complain anymore and lets you do (almost) whatever you want.
I wish there was a "Developer Mode" in society.
Neighbor1:"He's 25 and he has no proper job yet"
Neighbor2:"Oh, he's on developer mode".
Neighbor1:"Ah. Okay."

Random Street Guy1:"Look at her clothes. Kids these days don't have any values".
Random Street Guy2:"Oh, she's on developer mode".
Random Street Guy1:"Ah, Okay."

There is two types of people:
pretty(){
}
ugly()
{
}

So yeah, the name change is done. Me making a joke out of being called a code slut clearly backfired and people just started calling me a slut or inferring I was a slut or something unsavory because of an online username. Lesson learned. A few lessons, in fact.

Anyway thanks for allowing the name change @dfox and @trogus. Now, back to ranting.

GROW SOME FUCKING BALLS AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY YOU FUCKWIT!
I can't even count how many times I've heard people excuse themselves with sentences like:

"It's not my fault I only got a C, our teacher was shit"

"How can I finish this assignment when the teacher haven't learned me this?"

"I'll be late to work because my dick was stuck in the sink"

(This is a real one I've experienced myself. A teacher said this last week)
"I wasn't able to put up your material for your assignment before now because we're busy with exams" - The day before the assignment was due. Gj.

"He doesn't deserve to get fired, it's not his not at fault for being incompetent"

Then who the fuck is? The government? Your neighbor? My dog? A stray dog?

STFU! I'm so fucking tired of all these excuses! Grow some hair and take responsibility.
The only thing you achieve by not doing so is making everyone else drown in your disgusting vomit your constantly letting out of your mouth.

PEOPLE.

Fuck people... 😒

"The TV stations should really work together and send something good on sundays instead of that trash evey weekend." - "Why would they do that? People are still watching it. Including you." - "Because there is nothing else." - "You could do something else than watching TV." - "What? There is nothing."

Ladies and Gentlemen,
my mother, born in the generation "play on the outside".

*** potential trigger warning for people who don't like the c**t word***

WHY CAN'T PEOPLE FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT DEVELOPMENT TAKES FUCKING TIME!

I am so fucking sick of everyone thinking that I can just "make X do Y" in fucking no time. Or how I can't manage 4 fucking website builds at fucking once while project managing them, dealing with clients AND TOLERATING THEIR FUCKING PETTY IN OFFICE BULLSHIT!

I hate saying this word but some people are cunts. I have a finite amount of hours in the day to work. I have priorities to do during the day. Just because some snivelling Shit bag wants his fucking amends done by tomorrow THREE TIMES IN A FUCKING WEEK does not mean that I will drop everything and do it.

Then, when it doesn't happen and YOU cc in the boss in an email chain with a fun "FYI" telling me what I already know as if I'm a brain dead fucking frog... I could genuinely tear your fucking throat out. I don't need this shit. I am not paid enough to deal with your pansy ass fucking bullshit.

YOU WRITE FUCKING EMAILS ALL DAY AND OCCASIONALLY TAKE PHONE CALLS THEN DO SOME PPC CAMPAIGNS YOU FUCKING MARKETER PIECE OF SHIT!

{{ ENDRANT }}

I'm currently trying to enjoy my research for building a new gaming/working PC. Trying.

You wanna know what really pisses me the fuck off? I'll tell you anyway: Fucking knuckle scrapers writing completely and utterly useless short 'reviews' about products I'm interested in. FUCKING HELL!

I see a nice mainboard, but the product description is missing some info, so as I am already on the site I look for useful info in the comments and ratings for the product first. Why the fuck do I do this every time? It's futile anyway. There are only a few few types of people there of which the rarest are the ones who actually try giving useful information like advantages and disadvantages of as well as their experience with the product.

Then there are these total cock knockers who piss me off the most:
"What's there to say? Good product"
I know, you fucking retarded, inbred pig! I figured as much on my own based on the ratings, so why the flying, cunting fuck do you litter the reviews with your stupid, fucking monkeyshine when you've got NOTHING remotely useful or interesting to say? Go fuck yourself with a golf club!

Then there are these propagandists who just have to tell the world they're fans of whatever product they're reviewing, but of course without naming actual reasons apart from that they're stupid sheep. You bought this, because you always buy this brand? You could just have said 'I'm a fucking idiot', that would have been shorter, fuckwit!

And those dumbasses who have no clue what they're even talking about, but obviously paid assloads of money for what they're 'reviewing'. Fucking shut up, just shut up, when mere writing is already such a massive cognitive overload for you. Pick your nose, as you're used to, and leave everything else to the grown ups.

And what about those fucking dimwits whose rating doesn't fit their review? Who in their right mind gives five stars along with a shit review, or a great review along with a shit rating? How have these fucking people even learned how to breathe without turning purple thrice a day?

I FUCKING hate hate idiots. Kill them all, kill them all, kill them all, KILL them ALL, FUCKING KILL THEM ALL!

Me, a 19 year old student at a meeting with a "potential new project" today:

Her: So, we would like a website where people could rent a conference room, and pay for it on the website. After they have paid, we want automated emails to go out to us and the person that rents the room. We basically want an automated rental system.
Me: Sounds fair, what kind of budget do you have in mind?
Her: Well because you are a student and you still live at home, we have a budget of about €200 (~$220). We thought it'd be fair because you don't really need an income yet.

At that point I slowly tried to fade away from the meeting... Please help me 😭

-non programmer- friend sees me programming..

"Omg are you hacking?!"

I think it's because of the dark theme.. 🤔😂
.....

How stupid can people be?
In the last 2 months I needed to explain to someone that their bad TV signal is like that because the cables in the walls are broken or something like that.

I needed to explain 6(!) times that no, if it doesn't work on both, the TV itself (built in receiver) and an external receiver it is NOT the TV that's broken. No, the receiver still is connected via a completely different cable, it DOESN'T WORK LIKE YOU THINK IT DOES. LIKE THE LAST 10 TIMES I NEEDED TO EXPLAIN THIS.

Yes, of course it won't be fixed by you changing the cable between the wall and TV multiple times.

IT - IS - THE - PART - IN - THE - WALL

I hate my life.

You know what really grinds my gears? When people use download and install interchangeably. Example that just happened to me:

Them: Oh yeah I'm installing this movie, want to watch it later?

Me: You mean you're downloading the movie?

Them: They mean the same thing.

Me: 🖕

The moment when u find such nice "networklatency-functions" 😂

Intelligence and ability cannot be measured by education.

I have a client who asked a Master in Computer Science to develop a small system, for querying product title and their code. The guy used python, vanilla js, and... Txt file for the "database". Then my client asked me to integrated this in... WordPress.

This was in 2016. And idiot as I'm, I agreed and adapted his code to use php and a database.

April this year, my client said they are still using the python system to add new products all this time, in parallel. And wanted to update the WordPress with the data.

- No problem! - I said. Just send me the SQL file.

So the Master in CS sent me a SQL coded in ANSI. I asked for the SQL again, but with a more appropriate encoding. He took 1 month to reply back, and said it would be better if I get rid of the database and just use the txt file for querying.

This is outrageous.

I really hate people who are educated but completely useless.

I find coding is the best way to alleviate boredom on a plane.

Not because I enjoy coding that much, but because there are two types of people:
1) Those who know what programming is and who will ALWAYS ask about it interested. (Conversation starter)
2) Those who don't know what it is and just assume you're hacking the plane!

I'm reading "rants" and comments here for a few days now and I have to say, I'm loving all the positivity and generally nice people. devRant rules :D

"Gitard' - a programmer struggling to use git commands to control their source code repositories.

Fuck these "What? Money? No no, I if you do this for me, I will recommend you to a lot of people. Great amount of opportunities for you!" pseudo clients and tell them "If I needed someone to recommend me to get clients, you wouldn't even be able to talk to me in the first place. Now give me money or there is no deal."

Also what the fuck are these guys thinking? All their "friends" have probably the same attitude.

That's a fucking endless circle of work for recommendations without money if you start this shit once.

It's kinda fine if YOU talked to a potential client in the first place to get exposure, but it's NEVER under NO circumstances okay if someone contacted -you- and tries this scammy shit.

What follows isn't dev related and began as a comment on one of @AlexDeLarge's rants, and quicly became a full fleged story deserving it's own rant.

Oh God, drunk people are the worst and my gf is awesome.

I live with her in a street that never sleeps. Hardly anybody lives there, actually. That's just bars and night clubs, so during evening and at night, it's very crowded and noisy (luckily we have good noise insulation).
When we get back home late, there is always people standing in front of our door, looking at you like you just shat on their already puke and urine covered feet, just because you try to make them move to use your key.
Then I make sure my lady goes first, so I can check that nobody tries to go inside after me. The boys and girls standing there, watch us then, astonished, like you're some kind of homophobic gay or antisemitic jew, then ask, with a half smile and their eyes blank from any intelligence : "Isn't it hard living here?" (or, sometimes, "Hey dude, can I enter with you? Lol". Everytime I just refrain myself from answering "Yeah, the worst is people the like of you."
It happens exactly like this EVERY.FUCKING.TIME.

I'm not against getting drunk, I do myself sometimes (though that rarely on purpose). But please don't make me hate you for it.

One day we got back after a long party. My gf was merry and I was dead drunk because it bored me so I just drank glasses after another. I remember half of the night, and she told me the next day that I tried to buy a kebab with laundry and beer tickets (also a pants button), and really didn't see what was wrong in this. I can agree with drunk me here : you give a kebab, you get free beers and can go wash your clothes. Win-win!
Anyway, when we made it back to our front door, there was as usual people in front of it. Mainly manly man lesbians with some overweight problems. So she asks "Please could you move a little, we'd like to enter and my boyfriend here feels sick". A plain old 'no' was their answer. So from the top of my drunk wise, I declared "Go away or I'm puking over you, dumb bitches". They didn't like this. They began hitting us.
Everything is blurry from there, but I think some guys came to help them hit me, while they focused on my gf. I was mainly on the floor, taking hits after hits, waiting for them to stop because it was really annoying being punched in front of your door and pissed off that I was in no position to help her. Luckily for her, she can defend herself. The lesbians were just pulling her hair and scratching, so she gave them a few good hits in the belly and they let her go enough time to grab me in the middle of the boys (a friend of us helped her grab me as well, though he managed to stay out of the fight). When I took my key in my pockets, they stopped because they thought it was a Swiss knife (because my keys are arranged like one to take less space). I just went like "Guys, you dumb fucks, that's a key. A keeeeeey", before proceeding to put the wrong one in the lock and breaking it inside.
I don't know how, but the gf, with her long nails, managed to get it out in no time and used the right key afterwards. We were home and alive.
I was really proud of her that day, but also a bit ashamed to have just been a victim and a dead weight. To this day I never drink more than a beer or two during parties, in case I'd have to fight or run on the way back. Also, when she gets out to party with friends, she always phones me to fetch her when she's done, because there are cases of harassment and sometimes rape when a girl is alone late in these streets.

I really don't like a lot of people, but these braindead stupid fucktard make things really, really worse. One day there will be some bomb dropping from my window and these waste of carbon atoms and ethanol molecules won't understand anything that happens to them.

I feel like setting something on fire and watching people burn again today.

Fuck the Deutsche Bahn sideways with a rusty ten foot pole until it bleeds to death, and while we're at it, kill everybody in the way and stomp on their useless, empty heads.

Someone asked me for urgent help with their computer last suday evening by taking over their system online. I decided to help, because I like helping people, but my laptop would not be able to do that right now.
So I said: "Sorry, I can't take over your system, but I'll just very plainly explain everything you have to do and you just have to click on the right buttons"
To wich he guy had the nerve to tell me this: "I work all week, surely you do not expect me to spend my weekends by pressing buttons on the computer."
So according to him, I should spend my weekend fixing this guys computer, but he can't even be botherd to lift a finger to push a button. This is not for my job, he is nobody to me, just the husband of the person who actually asked for help. I still decided to do it because of his wife, but, damn, this is not something you say to someone who has just decided to sacrafice the remainder of her weekend and some sleep for you. When I complained about what he said I didn't even get an appology, just justifications along the lines of: "you have the knowledge, you can do it in so much less time then I, so I don't want to waste more time if you can do it in less", and stuff like "I'm really not a bad person"
When I was done they offered me money, I refused. To this the guy said: "you really shouldn't do that (help people for free) because life taught me that when you need help, people will not agree to give it".
Hello: I'm here, been helping for the last couple of hours because I was asked for help. Am I not a person then?
Well, then again, if he asks again, I won't.

The difference between normal people and programmers

Story time :
Sometime ago I posted a video on YouTube on how to root a particular phone that was lying around at home. I was trying to demonstrate one of those "one-tap root" apps that were plentiful in the market. It so happened that one specific version of Framaroot and one particular method of exploit works for that device. I even verified this by trying different versions and it didn't work. So in the description it was mentioned to use ONLY this version that worked. Few days later there were atleast 5 dislikes and comments that it didn't work on some other version.
Seriously?
That's how I understood how stupid and dumb people can get.

Someone went to HR complaining about never getting a lunch... We're told to work them out amongst ourselves and cover, but he's never once asked us to cover.

So now we HAVE to take lunch and we HAVE to make up that time by staying late or coming in early.

There are days when I'm on a roll and I don't WANT to stop to take lunch. It fucks with my rhythm and I end up breaking shit. We're all adults, why the fuck can't people act like it?

I met a guy on facebook group, where was post asking how to make easy platformer game in a week. And I tried to explain post author how to start. Everything was good untill this guy came in. He commented my comment "Yoo you are wrong, he can learn it in one day". My comment was about starting with unity and programming, and that need time to learn (without copying tutorial, everything made by himself). So I started to gently explaining him why it is unachivable in 1 day. Of course his respond was like "Omg you are so fooking stupid, It's sooo easyyy" this conversarion took good 15 minutes, and I ended it with "Ok, you are right" just to end thid. I hate people like that.

*fortunes and tons of research spent on machine learning, signal processing and pattern recognition*

People:

Things you can enjoy when working in an office with other people:

- listening to everyone chew gum with their mouths open.
- being constantly interrupted by coworkers asking for help, even when wearing headphones.
- getting distracted by someone bursting out in laughter of some private joke.
- having to take a break when everyone else does, because everyone is so loud you just can't focus.
- being hit on the back of the neck by a nerf gun bullet, right when you're most focused.

Why would anyone ever want to work at home?

I think one difficult thing about being a developer is having all your business friends tell you they have this idea that would make millions but you have to build a prototype (for free) for them to pitch. They don't seem to understand that this is a full time job.

New to this but here's my rant I suppose. It bothers me how "non-tech" people kind of devalue what tech people do. Like they have zero understanding of it, so you make something in 30 minutes or an hour that took years of building said skills and involved complex logic and understanding of relational data and because it only took you 30 minutes or an hour it must have been "easy". Or the way you are everybody's free tech advisor with family and friends... And things are said like "I'm not good with this stuff, but you're so good with it". For the record nobody is just "great" at technology or coding from birth its been a 2+ decade craft that I've experimented with and learned and put effort into. So taking into consideration all this effort I have put in to understand all this you say you'll never remember to push that button so you'll just ask me again when the problem arises. Yes because its so fun for me to constantly maintain your electronics because you can't bother to remember to push a button.

People and social media are like ants and old food.

I fucking hate ants and I hate old food.

Uh, does she hold her phone upside down?

!!office drama

I haven't been around much in recent weeks. Due to family illness, christmas shopping, dealing with estranged parents, and brooding over the foregoing, I haven't had a lot of time or energy left to myself.

tl;dr: The CTO ("API Guy") is ostensibly getting fired, and I might be taking over his job. I don't know if I should accept, try to stave this off, or simply flee.

------

Anyone who has been following my recent rants knows that API Guy is my boss, and he often writes terrible code. It's solid and unbreakable, but reading it is a *nightmare.* One of our applications is half the length of Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace, and it's difficult to tell what code is live and what amounts to ancient, still-active landmines. This is one application; we have several, most of which I've never even looked at.

Ostensibly the code is so terrible because the company grew extremely quickly, and API Guy needed to cram in lots of unexpected / planned-against features. From what I can see, that seems about right, but I haven't checked timeframes [because that's a lot of work!].

Here's a brief rundown of the situation.
- API Guy co-founded the company with the CEO.
- CEO and API Guy have been friends for a long time.
- CEO belives the company will fail with API Guy as head of tech.
- They could just be testing me; I have zero way of knowing. API Guy seems totally oblivious, and CEO seems sincere, so this feels pretty doubtful.
- CEO likes pushing people around. CEO believes he can push me around. API Guy doesn't budge. (I probably won't, either, except to change task priorities.)
- API Guy's code is huge and awful, but functional.
- API Guy is trying to clean up the mess; CEO doesn't understand (maybe doesn't care).
- Literally nobody else knows how the code works.
- Apart from API Guy and myself, the entire company is extroverted sales people.
- None of these sales people particularly like me.
- Sales people sell and sell and sell without asking development if they can pull enough magic features out of their hat to meet the arbitrary saleslines. (because the answer is usually no)
- If I accept, I would be the sole developer (at first) and responsible for someone else's mountain of nightmarish code, and still responsible for layering on new features at the same pace as he. Pay raise likely, but not guaranteed.
- My getting the position is contingent upon the CEO and the investors, meaning it's by no means guaranteed.
- If I don't accept, likely API Guy will be replaced with someone else of unknown ability, who doesn't know the code, and whom I must answer to regardless. Potentially OK, potentially a monumental disaster.

Honestly, it feels like I'm going to be screwed no matter what course I choose.

Perhaps accepting is slightly better?

The best would be to assume the position of CTO and keep API Guy around -- but that would feel like an insult to him. I doubt he'd be okay with it. But maybe. Who knows? I doubt the CEO would seriously consider that anyway.

I feel like a lamb between a dim, angry rhino, and an oblivious one.

Honestly? People. For the first two years of my career I worked for an investment bank.. Basically working to make rich people richer. That, plus the technology sucked, made me change what I do.

I now work for a company that, while it doesn't cure cancer, it makes products that my friends use, my family uses, even my 1 year old son uses. And knowing I am making a difference in their life in even just a little way is worth it.

Also now that I have a family and a kid, my priorities have shifted and as much as I love coding, my family and kid will always come first now. Could I be making more at an investment bank where I worked 12 hour shifts every day? Sure. But it's not worth it to me.

I love stackoverflow!

1. Developer who knows SO, and loves it : Yeah, my friend!

2. Developer who knows SO, but hates it : Go home, you're drunk.

3. Normal people who doesn't know the dev world : Why would you like a stack to overflow?

4. Normal people who is a tech savvy : Ah, the place where people share their questions and answers to make a better software and to be together? I never used it, but I heard it is awesome!

5. Idiots : What is that?

6. Grammarly : Recommended word is "stack overflow"

7. Dishwasher : Fatal error!

"Can you do this?"
Sure, give me the information I need...

"We don't have all of it yet"
So I can't do it then

"Well when can you do it"
When you get the information

"Do you need *all* of it"
Well, it's either I do half a job and waste my time, or get it all done in one shot

"The client wants it tomorrow"
When will we have the information?
"We don't know"
Well they aren't having it tomorrow then, are they...

Sales people... don't care *how* things work, as long as they get a tick against their name to show they've sold something...

People I see all day on devRant
2016:
- All versions of Jase (@Jase @jAsE ...)
- @Linux
- @dfox @trogus

Today:
- @gitpush everywhere
- @Linux
- @dfox @trogus

I hacked my friend's Facebook more than a few years ago just to prove myself a point that non-technical people are so gullible in regards to technology.

I created a simple Java program in Swing that looked like the Facebook app for phones. When you entered your credentials, they would be sent to my e-mail address and text fields would be outlined in red with a label below the form telling you your e-mail or password is incorrect.

The catch is, this program was called Facebook Offline. I showed my friend this cool program and tried to log in. After a few times, I asked him if he could try to log in since I can't. I told him how this is a really cool program that lets you use Facebook without internet connecton. Needless to say, he attempted a few times.

After a few hours, I opened the email, copied and pasted his credentials and logged into his Facebook account. Since I'm not an evil person and I only wanted to prove myself a point, all I did was tell a few girls they were hot and wrote "I'm gay" on his wall. Yeah, I was really smart back then. :P

A few days later, I told my friend that he is one gullible motherfucker and we laughed it off. Ah, what a hacker man I was at the age of 12.

how people count

normal people: 1 2 3 4 5 6....
me: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6...
them: wtf u doing, 0 is not included

Fuck you StackOverflow! Why do you ban people who have a positive score? Shit, I'm raging right now. I have a positive fucking score! It is not because I asked a few questions that were not well received by your fucking elitist overrated frustrated community that I should be banned!
And fuck off I'm not a native english speaker, it is OBVIOUS that I won't be able to make perfect sentence in all contexts.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

I built a tracking suite for our fleet of printers quite some time ago. Once a day, "bizteam" (aka sales) gets an alert detailing how many printers are in critical need of attention (out of paper, mechanical error, etc.), and how many of them are flat-out offline. They don't seem to care. I mean they do, I think? but. the offline percentage hasn't changed much in the past month or two.

These printers constitute a primary part of our business model and... screw it. they're goddamn important, okay?

A full 16% of our printers are OFFLINE. Most of those HAVE BEEN OFFLINE FOR 3 FUCKING MONTHS.

3% of our printers have been online BUT OUT OF PAPER FOR OVER A MONTH.

and what really baffles me...
We've convinced a few of these merchants to actually plug in their goddamn printers. (and yes, they actually *paid* for these things, and they're absolutely not cheap.) Some of those were previously both offline AND out of paper, yet after being plugged in, they're *STILL* OUT OF PAPER?! What the crap, people! It's a printer! it's not difficult! It's the same as every other fucking printer you have! and it's probably the same goddamn fucking model!

Did AlexDeLarge skullfuck your brain into mush? FIX YOUR SHIT!

Could all this fucking weak sick people just stay at home instead of coming to our damn open space office and be coughing their guts out ever 20 seconds for all the office to listen! damn, have some respect for the healthy people and go lie in your bed.

Holy shit. I'm sitting in my CS class and I just heard someone complaining about the stupid responses they get when they tell people they're a CS major.

I heard a new one that is honestly the most stupid fucking thing ever. She told someone she's a CS major and they replied "Oh so are you taking a lot of chemistry classes or something?"

Right, to all the drivers here, let's put some truths out there.

1) There are two sides to the road for a reason. It's to stop head on crashes. If you don't understand this, then you have no business being in a car, got it?

2) Cyclists are slow. Yes, it's annoying, yes you can be stuck behind them for a while, but if you're on a blind bend, DON'T FUCKING OVERTAKE THEM YOU MORONS!!! SERIOUSLY, DON’T!!! WAIT TILL YOU CAN SEE THAT IT’S CLEAR, DON’T JUST PULL OUT AND BE ON MY SIDE OF THE FUCKING ROAD DOING 50MPH ON A BLIND FUCKING BEND YOU UTTER SELFISH, DANGEROUS PILES OF STEAMING TURED!!!!!

3) Pot Holes. Theses appear on both sides of the road. If you see one on your side of the road, look ahead and CHECK IF THE OTHER SIDE IS CLEAR BEFORE YOU PULL OUT!!! I DON’T APPRECIATE HAVING TO DRIVE INTO A FUCKING DITCH TO AVOID YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T WANT TO SCUFF THE TYRES ON YOUR OVERPRICED HIRE PURCHASE AUDI, OK??? MY TYRES ARE NEW, AND I’D RATHER NOT TAKE CHUNKS OUT OF THEM, BUT IN A CHOICE BETWEEN SCUFF THE TYRES IN A POT HOLE OR HAVE A HEAD ON CRASH, I’D RATHER SCUFF THE TYRES!!!!!!

4) On the subject of pot holes and referring to point 2, cyclists swerve to avoid pot holes. If they hit a pot hole, they could completely bail and end up dead. So, refer to point 2 and DON’T OVERTAKE THE CYCLIST UNLESS YOU KNOW FOR FUCKING CERTAIN THAT THERE IS ENOUGH SPACE TO CLEAR THEM - HOW BRAIN DEAD DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO PASS A CYCLIST WHEN THERE’S NO SPACE TO DO SO?

5) There is a stick to the side of your steering wheel. It’s called an indicator. This is an amazing invention that lets other people know your thoughts. Thinking of turning? THEN USE THE FUCKING INDICATOR, DON’T JUST SWERVE ACROSS THE CARRIAGEWAY WITHOUT WARNING - YES, MY BRAKES WORK, BUT THAT DOENS’T MEAN I WANT TO FUCKING TEST THEM ONCE EVERY HALF MILE!!!!!

6) If you are driving a tiny little shitty hatchback and you can’t stay on your side of the road on a bend, then you’re going too fast so slow the fuck down. You aren’t Colin McRae, or Mikka Hakkinen, you’re a moron. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!!!!!! DOING 60 ON COUNTRY ROADS IN A FUCKING CORSA IS A RETARDED THING TO DO ANYWAY, BUT IF YOU’RE SINGING ALONG TO SOOME STUPID TUNE AND NOT PAYING ATTENTION, YOU WILL CRASH!!! DON’T MAKE OTHER PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN LIFE, YOU DERELICT!!!

7) Fog lights. The clue is in the fucking name!!!! They aren’t drizzle lights, or rain lights, or wind lights, they are FOG LIGHTS!!!! THEY ARE BRIGHT, NOT DIPPED, AND THEY BLIND EVERY OTHER DRIVER WHO GOES PAST. TURN THEM OFF UNLESS IT IS FOGGY YOU INCONSIDERATE WANKERS!!!!

8) If you are living in the UK, and passed your driving test here, you have NO FUCKING EXCUSE for not driving properly. The UK driving test is one of the most comprehensive in Europe (probably with the exception of the Scandinavian countries), so how people end up doing the moronic things I’ve seen today I will never understand. Just don’t drive like a tosser, it’s really fucking easy!!!!!

Right, now that’s done, time for lunch and to see if I can get over the fear of today’s 20 mile hell journey!

How IT people see each other

Hey guys,

!rant but just wanting some feedback.

As some of you may know, I'm a n00b which has found himself in a senior position at a startup. Now, when I say n00b, I mean I have been self-learning for a little over two years now and I've been doing this job for 1. Anyway, back to the point.

I have to interview and hire people. I already find this quite hard but funding an adequate test for their abilities seems even harder given I'm no wunderkind. I came up with one though:

"Define as much of a city as you can using OOP principles. You have half an hour."

Is that reasonable? I thought it was interesting in that a city is a great example of a large, complex system made up of what are essentially objects.

Any critiques, thoughts, improvements or insults?

(Image is my reaction when opening the app because I secretly love you all and I don't feel at home anywhere else...)

at the game jam afterparty everyone where trying to speak with my husband, instead of me. I saw human version of blue screens when was asked to list my project team and I didn't mention him.
- A-a-and what did Rik do?
- Oh, he didn't participate, he's a journalist and my +1 here. 😅

I today have seen lovers'name carved into a tree. I don't think it's cute. I just think it's strange how many people take knives on a date

All true

Me: so the ip address does not correspond
Him: ok. What's an ip address?
Me: well it's how the name of a website gets translated after you click enter in the browser
Him (looking puzzled): bbbbrowser?
Me (thinking): should I mention Firefox or play it safe and go with IE???

Damn explaining stuff to non tech people is hard!

After completing my sprint and some lingering stuff in the backlog

Me: Hey, there's this tiny feature people have really requested, I'll go build it since I got nothing else to do at the moment. It'll only take like 1h

PO: Hmm ok. Don't work on that yet, we need to check with business people and agree on the user stories and bla bla bla

Me: Ok, well there's these bugs I can take care of then, I'll get them fixed, won't be long.

PO: Hmmm, we need to measure the impact first. Let me get back to you on that a bit later

Me: Meh, oh. I'll refactor this bad component meanwhile then.

PO: Have you created a story for that in JIRA? Create the story first and then we'll groom it and take it in when we've time

Me in my head: Dafuq! Im trying to work on your fucking project but you keep throwing all that business bueraucracy shit at me. What am I supposed to do then? Sip coffee in the kitchen and talk about the other fucking billion failed "new business opportunities" with my peers? Fuck this circle jerk of a billion management people all trying to make themselves important. Nothing. Ever. Gets. Fucking. Done!!!

Me: Ah right, I'll do that *proceeds to the water cooler*

No grandpa, I don't scam people online. I am a web developer - I earn my living online, building web apps, plugins, etc. (and stuff that you won't really grasp). And again, stop telling people that I'm lazy - I don't watch movies on my computer from 8AM-5PM. Lovely grandma, please don't believe him.

New guy (good friend) is on the line with me shadowing. OMFG THESE PEOPLE HAVE HEAVY ACCENTS. Only reason I can hear them is my babysitter has a heavy Vietnamese accent as well, so I'm used to it, but HOLY CRUD this is painful. I feel bad for my newest teammate

Want to make some friends quickly?
Just go to any pseudo startup incubator in a university (all business people with an idea), mention you are a coder (mimicking the typing on a keyboard to make sure they understand) and all of the sudden you'll have a crowd of people around you that "need to talk to you"

The other guys working with me have to physically protect me every time someone finds out

I just cant fucking believe this bullshit!

THE PRODUCT YOU'RE ASKING FOR NOW ITS NOT THE PRODUCT WE AGREED ON MAKING. ALL THE ADDITIONAL FUNCTIONALITY AND CHANGES YOU WANT TAKE TIME!

I can't believe how rude can people be! We were supposed to stop working in this product MONTHS ago but you keep asking for changes, for additional things and then you yell at us just because we dont have it ready for yesterday?! You got some fucking balls man just fuck off. You have to understand the development process, every change you ask for can have consecuences that make us rewrite a bunch of code and we also need to test everything again and again to make sure it works! Gimme a break!

I wish I knew for sure I wouldn't offend certain people if they read this. I'll be vague for a reason..

WHY THE FUCK ARE. PI WRITING A PROGRAM IN A LANGUAGE OF YOUR LIKING AND THEN TELLING ME YOU DON'T KNOW WHICH FILE TO UPLOAD?!,!,!? How about the ones that make it work?

And why did you send the program, unformatted? This hurts.

I'm trying to teach these children how to fucking be professional in their jobs and this is what I'm working with.

How hard is it to know your tools and pick one that shows you know what you're doing????

And all this after the deadline, and the language written wrong

when you spend 3 years at University studying Software Engineering, and your step dad asks you, " so what is it you that actually do?"... 😐

When you've to explain normal people that you're a dev and not a hacker and so you can't just hack into their ex's Facebook account like it's some magic trick.

A new online store for custom PC has opened in Switzerland.

For overclocking they want CHF 10 (around 9.50 $) more for every MHz.

I know that some people gonna buy this shit and pay for that. If that people knew that you only need to access BIOS/After Burner for it 😂😂😂😂

#BestSpendMoney

Frack..people suck.

In sprint planning meeting, prioritizing the tasks...

ScrumMaster: "Next item, create a spreadsheet that identifies the systems used by order processing so the PO can identify errors by system."
Me: "That's already done."
ScrumMaster: "Did you work ahead of the sprint again?"
- Really trying not to throw something heavy at his head.
Me: "No, you did back in January."
- SM stutters..um..uhhs...
ScrumMaster: "No, I never did that...see."
- SM navigates to the sharepoint directory
Me: "Yep, there it is."
ScrumMaster: "I didn't create it, you must have."
Me: "Created by...you."
ScrumMaster: "Uh...um....I might have added it to sharepoint, but doesn't mean I created it. Anyway, lets take a look..."
- opens the spreadsheet
ScrumMaster: "What is this? Did you simply export the sharepoint list to excel?"
- Getting harder and harder to resist the urge to throw something heavy at his head.
Me: "I don't know what that is, you created it. You commented on the Trello card that this task item was done."
ScrumMaster: "No, I've never seen this or made any comment on the Trello board...lets look ..."
- FRACK!!! TRELLO IS DOWN!!!
ScrumMaster: "When Trello comes back up I'll assign the card to you. Lets stay on task with the cards from now on. Next item ... "

Trello up, 3 hours later, back at my desk, there is his fracking comment from January about uploading the spreadsheet to sharepoint. Frack frack frack people suck

Ask a dumb question on stackoverflow and get one session of gang-rape for free!

I have difficulties to process why some of my developer colleagues have such difficulties reading and processing error messages.

It says what is wrong RIGHT THERE MAN!

"JavaScript is Java."

-lots of dumb programmer... If you can call them programmers

Too many fucking people on the earth.
I don't feel unique anymore :/

"Your job isn't that hard, I can do it any day."

Rant about social media in general, including devRant.

I enjoy interacting with like minded people. What I do not enjoy is the whole degradation of the conversation at hand. Sooner or later, someone takes something the wrong way, addresses something this social network was not meant to address (it's devRant not Facebook), and the audience has a multitude of English as a #(rd/th/whatever) language human beings.

Accept that as the premise, and I think we could get along a lot better.

However commonly this fact is ignored. Understand the sentiment behind statements, not the statement itself. If any part of it is unclear, then request clarification.

Agree, disagree, civil debates one thing, but degrading the conversation to name calling or similar emotions only results in poor communication, useless emotions running high, and nothing gained.

</rant>

#AgileTip: Hiring smart people is pointless if they aren't allowed to make any mistakes.

Oy, can any of you chaps hack a facebook account?

Asking for a friend.

Seriously. This waste of oxygen said if I wasnt good enough, I should find someone else to do it.

God I hate humans. I'm converting to hinduism so I can get reincarnated as something else. A cat maybe.

Why is everybody too dumb to just walk... why are people like this:

if(isSomebodyWalkingBehind()) {
stop();
sleep(10000);
}

So yesterday i went to this live theatre drama and i had an extra ticket. I asked this random guy the way to that theatre and apparently he was looking to get ticket for the same show. I offered him my other ticket for free.

We introduce ourself to each other and i came to know he worked as salesman or something. As i talked about my job, I told about me leaving job in hopes of self employment.

*Cue the sales pitch*

He started talking about some scheme kind of thing to have financial freedom. He talks about how we can get products at upto 15% discount and we have to sell them to others.

I was skeptical about it and he talked they have website as if that will pimpress me or something.

I visited the site and i was not surprised at all. It was nothing but an halfassed e-commerce store. I knew it was halfassed and probably setup by the "CEO" himself.

And the products in that site are nothing but stupid cosmetic products!

And to top it off, you have to spend around $200 to join this scheme. This poor guy doesn't realise he is just being a talking puppet to that halfassed e-commerce business BY PAYING THEM!!!

He even said one of his friend in London took leave to join this scheme or whatever... What a stupid friend.

Anyway, i just regret giving away a ticket to some stupid people like him. I'd have been much more happier if i had just thrown the extra ticket in the trash.

People suck!

Meanwhile, I wonder what non-tech people would think if they saw my search history.

Things I hate:

- People who think they are cool because they use GNU/Linux
- People who use GNU/Linux because it's free software but at the same time use Windows because "It's needed for gaming"
- People who ask for hacking
- People who don't try alternatives to their proprietary software
- People who say Chrome/Chromium is the better browser
- People who say Firefox is the better browser
- People who say any other browser is the better browser
- People who can't wait for a moment
- People who are super opinionated and call everything "bullshit" or "garbage"
- People who take everything serious

All in all, a lot of cliche tech people. Which by the way makes it hard to find a decent tech Community since 9 out of 10 Communities are highly opinionated. Nothing against opinions, but it doesn't really help to call something garbage. Explain me WHY you think it's garbage and let me decide it myself. Links are fine. Why are tech people often that unreflected?

I don't really expect answers but also don't mind them ^^

It astounds me that people will actually pay thousands of dollars to come to a bootcamp and just fuck around...

Like we will spend an hour going over materials and concept and when it comes time to apply it and build something the kid next to me never knows what's going on! And then always asks me how to do it.

I tried being positive about it and be like hey if I can explain it to him...then that means I really know it!

Fast forward a couple weeks and I'm ready to strangle the kid.

He will sit on his phone playing games the whole time the lesson is going. Then when the lesson is over, put his phone down and immediately ask me how to do it...

The fuck!? Maybe if you'd just listen you'd know wtf you're doing by now you useless vapid brainless twatwaffle!

Do you also have these """friends""" that contact you only when they need IT support?

This is funny...non-paying position...are these people for real????

Looking for local interns to help developing our applications. We are also looking for a local intern who would like to help implement our application on the Android platform as well as a Node.js developer with experience in Express and third party plugins. This is a non-paying position and could potentially lead to equity depending on your level of experience, knowledge and contributions.

When I am telling non-tech people that I am studying Software Engineering:

They: What do you study at university?
Me: Software Engineering
They: Oh, so you're an engineer! My *some random person* is also an engineer!
Me: No, not that kind of engineer. I am a SOFTWARE engineer. I don't build things.
They: huh?
Me: I write code. Programs. For computers. I a programmer.
They: oh, great, very perspective! Will you fix my *PC/printer/whatever has on/off button on it*?

😶😶😶

People telling me what to do. I am 19 yo. I havent got into university, i have passed the bachelor's degree exam with 83.5% in computer science, i am employed in web development and i like it. Im not even thinking about going to university for now, not even getting a driving license, the stress is too big for now. I love traveling by bike. I enjoy listening to heavy metal and hard rock and I love peace more and i enjoy talking with people.
The biggest hurdle is people who tell me "do that because everyone does". And I'm not talking about my mom. She supported me everytime. I'm talking about people who doesn't belive in someone's knowledge and bothers the others. It's good if you give me advice and talk with me about it, but never be strict about that advice.

When People Around You And Your Family And Closest Friends Think that programming is hacking.

Me: Why?

I really hate people..
Today I was basically forced to install WhatsApp for the managing of a project in university.. Everyone in my team bugged me until I finally installed WhatsApp and joined the chat. I asked some questions (by now 14 hours ago) and so far no one has bothered to answer..
I have to use WhatsApp because people expect me to be available all the time but if they simply ignore it that's just fine... 😑😑😐

ARE ALL PEOPLE IN STACKOVERFLOW REP-DIGGER????

Yeah sure it's super easy!
Step1: fuck you
Step2: repeat Step1 while(true)

It's the 21st century. We have this amazing thing called the Internet. It's literally at our finger tips. Any information you want can be found with the tap of a phone screen, and the information will be presented to you in less than a second.

Why is this concept so fucking hard for people to comprehend? Instead of asking me "How do I write a resignation letter?", search the damn internet for resignation letter guides. Like Jesus Christ, it's not that hard of a concept to comprehend. Especially when you've basically grown up with the internet in our lives.

We've all had shitty jobs at one point or another, maybe some of us already had software engineering experience while having to work in a different field for a variety of reasons.

Well check this shit.

At one point(during my second year of school) for various reasons I had to work in retail. For those that know, retail can be a soul crushing experience...the trick is not letting management to convince you that it is an actual good job, it is not, and I have respect and sympathy for everyone currently working in it. The mind numbing retarded customers that we get are absolutely fantastic in every sense of the word.

My position in retail was as a phone salesman, for MetroPCS (which for all of y'all european ninjas is one of the low end phone carriers here in the U.S) and the people that we get as customers where I live are normally very poor which apparently in Mexican culture stands for annoyingly ignorant (I am Mexican myself, so I can really vouch for this shit)

One day a customer came in telling me that there was an app that he was using that kept giving him troubles, it was a map application for truck drivers. Now, obviously, this had nothing to do with my line of work(phone salesman) and as such I normally tried to explain that and let them be, but I imagined that it was a settings issue so I reluctantly agreed to help him. I explained to him that the app was no longer maintained and that the reason for it was probably that the developer abandoned it and that he would just have to look into the app, upon closer inspection the app itself was nothing more than a wrapper over google maps with trucker icons and a "trucker" interface, he was using the app as a GPS navigator and he could as well just have been using google maps.

The conversation was like this:

Me: Well this app is no longer supported, it will probably be taken off the google store soon, you can look for something similar or just change to Google maps

Retard: What? no! I came here in order for you to fix it, Metro needs to fix their own apps!

Me (in complete disbelief): We have no control over third party apps, and even for the ones that we provide the store has no control over them. But this app is not ours and so we can't really do anything about it.

Retard: Well WTF should I do? I have been having many issues with youtube and spotify, shouldn't Metro fix their Google store?

Me: Those apps are not ours.....wait, you seem to believe that we own youtube and spotify, those are not ours

Retard: How the fuck they are not yours! its your phone isn't it?

Me: Eh no.....Metro does not(at this point I was sort of smiling because I wanted to laugh) own youtube or spotify or the play store or even this phone, metro does not own Android or Samsung(his phone was a samsung core prime)

Retard: Well You need to fix this

Me: No I do not and I can not, the developer for this app abandoned it and has nothing to do with us

Retard: Well call the developer and tell him to fix it

At this point I was on a very bad mode since this dude was being obnoxiously rude from the beginning and it annoyed me how he was asking for dumb shit.

Me: Did you pay for this app?

Retard: No

Me: So you expect that some developer out there will just go about and get working for something that you did not pay for?
Why don't you just use Google maps as your GPS?

Retard: Don't be stupid, Google has no maps

At this point I show him the screen where there is a lil app that said maps, pressed it and voila! map comes to life

Retard: Well....I did not know

Me: Yeah....but I am the stupid one right?

** throws phone for him to catch

Me: Have a good one bud.

And my manager was right next to me, he was just trying to control his laughter the whole time. I really despised working in there and was glad when I left. Retail man.......such a horrible fucking world.

Please, oh please, tell me there's an exception for murdering people using their phone in speaker mode right in the middle of an open space.

Please ... I feel like it should count as public service and be rewarded ..

I'm trying to work here, it don't give the slightest flying fuck about the latest crap you dare to call code and how it fucked up your whole application.

Don’t you hate it when people completly overcomplicates code?

The bottom one is my edit of the code.

Nothing is more frustrating than fighting for hours with an issue, then find a single thread on a website with someone having the exact same problem as you and the only comment below is from OP with "nvm, sorted it out"

BUT HOW DID YOU DO THAT?! THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE WITH THE SAME FUCKING PROBLEM AS YOU AND YOU'RE LEAVING THEM WITH THEIR FRUSTRATION YOU IGNORANT, STUBBORN ASSHOLE!!!

I am just fed up with spam messages on my Whatsapp/Facebook Wall/even Normal Messages. So from now on, I will be sending this to everyone who tries to spam me, even to those who are about to fucking press that send button to share "Send this to 4 people and image will change colour" shit. Save this image, might help you as well, let's fucking spam those spammers with this!

Windows responds faster than some people I know 🤖

That first days when you're on DevRant and you know nobody is gonna take you for serious as long as you have no avatar. #butfinalymadeit :)
#hello

I usually get along best with people that don’t get along well with people.

Well then.

X : Do you accept space for username at sign up?

Me : Nope, no space. Username shouldn't have space.

X : Lots of people have trouble at registration because of that.

😑😑😑

After many years... I truly believe that non IT people belive that this is how programmers work:

- Goodmorning computer. How are you? Can you make me a program? I want the program to include an userfriendly userinterface, database, optimized code, documentation and dont forget that i dont want any bugs! Thanks computer. I'll get back to you when my coffee is ready.

Suck my sweatty balls you cock sucking, brain washed ignorant flat earth mother fuckers. If only evolution was more aggressive, we'd have gotten rid of you in the stome age. But hey you can still choke your crap filled mouths on fucking tide pods you stupid cunts.

If only people would stop bashing technologies just because their news say so.

Seriously every forum I visit, there's always some post saying "fuck technology x, it's ..."

Poor me, a dev, sometimes fails to ignore idiots and replies to such posts. "But it's not anonymous, the government said.."
"it is against god's will, our *insert religious figure here* said..."

Fuck your cock sucking governments!!
It's just like every fucking innovation ever. First religion: I'm not against religion at all, if it's something that brings a person peace of mind... but please keep away from interfering with scientific progress. After all if you're so sure about what you're believing in, there's nothing you should be afraid that science would reveal, no?

Then governments: government? Manipulating people? Feeding brains shit? pfftt when does that happen?
Fuck every cock sucking government.. except you know, tbe good ones I guess :p

If people listened to those ignorant cunts back in the days, we'd still believe we're the center of this whole fucking universe, and that a whale ate the moon every now and then...

And then you find out ignorance is infectious. Ignorants start spreading ignorance, and if enough ignorants believe some shit... the shit becomes the truth.

Can you please fucking read about the thing you're about to ignorantly bash before doing so?

Can you stop listening to news and governments about this crap? If anything it's in your govs best interest to keep you afraid of progress.

I'm literally just talking for the sake of it, It's what rants are for no?

Idk I should probably just ignore idiots on the internet... but there's a limit to how much ignorance and stupidity you can take.

At least we'll never run out of restaurant employees I guess

Comment what type of people you are?

I fucking hate morning people like the one in the story below!

Before we begin story time I want to acknowledge some things.

This is largely a case of a person having a lack of awareness and giving in to their base instincts (which are wrong).

People all tend to think that everyone else is like them (most children below a certain age cannot make this distinction and many adults never learn it either).

To take it a step further, anyone who isn't just like them is Lazy/Bad/An Asshole/etc.

FUCK THOSE PEOPLE

Now it's story time...

---------

I worked for a startup. We used a modified SCRUM, and we had standups every day @ 10 AM, the other team had then at 11:30 AM.

We get a new product owner. He is a morning person. But basically, he is a day-trader so he wakes up at 5 AM to trade and is in the office by 8 AM every day.

The problem is, he uses this as a reason to leave every day at 3 PM when EVERY other member of the team is there until at least 5 PM.

So he says one day (when I am not there) that we are moving our standups to 8:30 AM...

"Because he wants to make more use of the time and wants to get more done!"

So the next day a bunch of us miss this standup, the second day I was there in time but instead of going to the standup I sent them a picture of myself sitting in a coffee shop across the street with a message saying...

"I will be holding a meeting today at 10 AM, I expect EVERYONE to be there. If anyone on our team is absent then we will sit there and that absent person will be responsible for the time we waste waiting for them."

10 AM rolls around and the Product Owner is nowhere to be seen. The team starts complaining about the early standup and I tell them that this meeting is for me to take care of it. I tell them to sit silently and let me handle it.

We all message the PO saying the same thing...
"Come to the meeting, You are wasting our time!!!"

So he shows up at 10:20 AM and it begins.

(Now I'm going to do this as a conversation)

PO: "So I assume this is about the standup?..."

ME: "Feel free to ramble on as long as you want, you have already wasted 20 minutes of our time so we will sit here quietly and wait for you to decide you are ready to stop wasting our time with your ramblings. That's fine."

<PO then shuts up in disbelief>

ME: "So are you finished?"

PO: ...

ME: "I'm expecting an answer PO!"

PO: Yes, for now.

ME: I am moving our standups to 5 PM, end of discussion.

PO: Becuase your too lazy to be here by 8 AM?

<I expected this>

ME: No because I'm an asshole who expect everyone to conform to my schedule.

PO: ..., Well, I am not here at 5 PM.

ME: Sounds like your too "lazy" be here at 5 PM, eh?

PO: I have other things I do then.

ME: Ah, now the truth comes out. You care more about your life than our business. That's unacceptable! I personally don't care what you want to do. The fact is that we are working here and every day we end up having PO questions that need to and can't be answered because you are not here.

PO: <To the team> The standup is still at 8:30 AM.

ME: <To the team> The standup is at 5 PM. End of story. And from now on whenever we have questions before 5 for PO and he is not here we will be recording it and putting it in his report.

Then I walk away.

That day we held a standup at 5 PM. He wasn't there. He held a standup at 8:30 AM and he didn't even show up. He stayed home a video in. He then arrived in the office and said...

PO: Since no one was in the standup today we will be moving it back to 10 AM.

ME: Since PO has seen the selfishness of his ways, We will be moving the standup from 5 PM back to 10 AM.

FUCK THOSE PEOPLE

So I walked into a business the other day where they make flyers and business cards etc. Wanted something specific so went to what they call their "developers". So they have some kind of dodgy pdf editor open there and I know exactly what I want so I asked can you take a RGB color..... the reaction was glassy eyes. And after that the woman started to scream at me and telling me that I have no idea what it is like to be a "Developer". Ended up walking out and going to another place.....

There are always three questions i get asked when i tell people I'm a programmer:

Can you take a look at my phone/laptop/pc etc...?

Can you hack?

Whats the green stuff from matrix?

I didnt thought I have to write this down, but you people dont get standard business logic, so here advice from someone who knows that shit:
- If you wanna get paid, make your own contract and let a lawyer look over it.
- always have a lawyer on retainer and enough money for him/her.
- nothing is real without a signature.
- your clients should know that you're gonna sue them if they don't pay.
- don't go easy on anyone, here an easy way to decide if you should sue:
Didnt pay? Sue.
Breaks contract? Sue
Asks for later payment? Dont
- always code in a killswitch, trust me you're gonna need it.

I was amazed by an elderly man on the subway yesterday, he pulled out his tabled and stated reading a book on it. Thinking of that I know way too much younger people who can't even use a computer properly..

Me, when I try to explain to non IT-people, what I do for a living

So I recently returned from university and was catching up with people. Then this guy(childhood friend) who is in EE was "asking" me about how my academics were going. So I was describing my cs classes to him until he suddenly interrupted me saying he knows "how algorithms work" and also that IT == CS. I tried my best to explain to him that it is not the same thing, but his ego just couldn't allow me to talk. He continued on forcefully about how he did a project in java that used SQL and blahblahblah. After he was done exhibiting himself, he asked me what languages do you know(LOL)? When I tried to explain to him that cs is not about learning languages, the guy proceeded to interrupt me again and tell me how his curriculum is hard so as to imply that mine is shit. Finally, this human waste told me to "open java" so that he could code, I opened up my terminal, which he responded to by asking me "What is that?"

Saw a classmate returning an plain text password from a function to try to push it in a JSON file for an API we have to build for class.

I try to correct him and show him a few things that are better practices and for security, I get yelled at and called a know-it-all for trying to help... I'm so done with people -.-

Coding impacted my life in a lot of good ways one unexpected thing happed "Suddenly people couldn't understand me" ! 😂

!Rant

The Eve V is a Community Developed Windows Tablet which will be released in Ocotober this year.

The best specs you can get is i7 6th Gen, 16 GB Ram and 500 GB SSD for around 1400$.

He wants 32 GB RAM in such a slim and small Tablet. Also wants a 7th Gen Intel CPU and 1 TB SSD in it. He's ready to pay 1000 $ more for his special edition.

The Eve V is already finished with tooling and they are wating for the screens to arrive. They already have all the other parts.

Dude you're crazy and that specs just for VM's? What are you running? 10x WinShitBox?

He's insulting everyone on the forum with a different opinion and says, retooling will be such easy.

That guy is a real douchebag and doesn't know shit. If you would build in different parts like this, you would need to remodel the whole tablet. You can stick your 1000$ in your ass, retooling would cost more than 10'000$

If it's so easy you shithead, then do it yourself and dont say it's possible and say to other people they should do! 😂😂

I've just added the possibility to connect to an external game server to my app and immediately regret it. People started sending me emails saying that it doesn't work. What they entered in the URL bar? "hi", "cunt" and a porn website...

A rant about people in general:

I am sick of people not caring, not giving a fuck, not valuing others.

Studying CS this is something I noticed the past year: people tend to not acknowledge that there are other human beings around them.

Some are just focused on getting their degree done and dusted as fast as possible, which is fine.
Some are working to pay the rent or student loans, which is fine.
Others just do their thing, code their stuff, criticize other's code... which is also fine.

But nobody's realizing they're interacting with other people! Other living, feeling human beings. For them it's just about getting it done.

And not just at university.
I've started seeing it everywhere.

At the job I'm working, people in the shops and on the streets.

I don't get it. We are all human on this rocky sphere in space. Why do so many not care for each other?

It makes me sad.

People who tell me they hate PHP, though when I ask said person whether he's used PHP all he can answer is "maybe once".

Don't hate on a language if you have barely even used it

I'm here in my bed. I can't sleep and in less than 5 hours I will have an important exam. I was thinking that a few months ago I went to a IT company as a school program. I would have to stay there for 2 weeks and "work" for them.

Upon arrival, the guy who had to monitor me gave me a sheet of paper with 5 alghoritmic problems to solve. He tells me to use java and hands me a laptop. naturally with windows. I try to look for some ideas but I can not find anything. I go to the control panel and search for something. Obviously there is a lot of bloatware and nothing catches my attention. then strangely I find something called oracle ... something ... but when trying to open it it gives me an error.

Fuck me. I decided to open notebook(normal one not ++ or something) and start solving the problems trying to remember the names of the methods and the classes based on what I had learned in school. then the guy comes back and looks at me puzzled. I tell him I did not find any IDE for java and the only one I found seem to give me an error. The guy double clicks and the program opens...fucking shit... He tells me to finish the problems and goes away perplexed. I copy the code from notepad to the IDE, I check the errors, I run it and the add some comments and I call the guy. he looks at the code, says that everything seems fine and then assigns me other things to do.

Now. HOW FUCKING STUPID MUST SOMEONE BE TO THINK THAT WRITING JAVA IN NOTEPAD IS A VIABLE CHOICE, AMONG ALL THE POSSIBLE SANE CHOICES I COULD HAVE MADE LIKE TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE ERROR OF THE IDE OR CALL THE GUY... NO. MY LITTLE SHOTTY FUCKING BRAIN DECIDED THAT NOTEPAD WAS A GOOD CHOICE. IF I COULD GO BACK IN TIME IN THE SAME MOMENT THAT I OPENED NOTEPAD I WOULD BITCH SLAP MYSELF SO HARD THAT I WOULD LOSE MY SOULD AND THE LAST 2 NEURON THAT MADE THAT SHITTY CHOICE. I WOULD BITCH SLAP MYSELF SO HARD THAT THE KINETIC ENERGY PRODUCED WOULD COLLAPSE THE UNIVERSE ITSELF. AND FROM THE DARKNESS A NEW UNIVERSE WILL BE BORN. A UNIVERSE WHERE THERE IS NO JAVA OR WINDOWS. A UNIVERSE WHERE MY 2 NEURONS WOULD HAVE MADE THE SHITTIEST DUMBEST CHOICE EVER IN A I LAST MISERABLE SELF DESTRUCTIVE ATTEMPT.

but then I come on devrant and I read about people who did thing worse than writing java on notepad and then everything is fine

PS my English is so bad I had to use Google translate, write an original version, translate it and do a side by side comparison with my translated version to check If I could improve something. Don't now If It improved the quality or not...

Why are some people just so dumb? Not specifically with programming or development but just in general. How have we not reached a point where everybody has a substantial understanding of common sense and ethics?

I love you devRant

I'm heading to bed here pretty quickly, but before I lay down I just wanted to say something.

I've been a long time lurker, but have just recently registered as a member. Whenever I get a chance to, I have the urge to open up devRant and take a scroll through recent posts. You guys are the best, and give me something to chuckle at. It's just really great and refreshing to find a community that is supportive, and full of so many inspiring people. It's like Shangri-La - the hidden community that you always knew existed, but could never find

I've really struggled to make friends with people who code... and it's been absolutely frustrating. Does everyone in this industry have a god complex or something? Everyone I try to make friends with ends up being super narcissistic and self obsessed it's crazy. One of them wanted to be my mentor a while back, and we still talk occasionally, but after getting to know him I decided I didn't want to learn from him. It turns out he only mentors people to showboat his greatness and claim later that all their success is directly his doing. I decided I wasn't going to be one of those people and I only ever had 2 sessions from him. One of the best choices I've ever made. But I've found a lot of people who are programmers tend to be a lot like him. A lot of them I talk to will hit me up to brag about themselves or what they've done. But none ever ask what's been up with me or how my journey is doing? Is this just a normal thing in this industry or am I just meeting terrible people. It's made me appreciate my slightly dumber friends, cause at least they care about me and it shows.

More a rant than anything, but genuinely curious if anyone else has this issue... I'm starting my bootcamp soon and I'm hoping to make friends but I'm so concerned about this it's kind of giving me anxiety.

Why don't people secure their devices if they are on a shared network? I just ran a network scan and found 3 raspberrys, all of them with the default credentials....

How do you guys deal with people who are negative, disparaging or just unsupportive of your work/hobby?

Pretty much everyone I know is either outright hostile to me working on projects outside of work because "it's the weekend" or "You could be getting drunk and playing games."

I've lost much of my interest with playing games all day (and I can't really do that anyway, housework/cooking/laundry needs to be done) and I'd rather spend my time productively.

How do you guys cope with people like that?

I'm beginning to hate my job again.

I mean it is loads better than my last job. But this job brings its own set of issues.

So I did move up and I definitely do not regret it.

I guess it may be time to move up again.

Mainly the pay is the issue, as well as a few other minor things.

I seem to be stagnating in my learning due to not being on a development team.

So my priority is to find a team with smarter people than me.

Sometimes I wonder how software development in (bigger) teams worked in the 90s.

Take the first Pokémon games for example. It was the mid-90s and the final product would be Assembler code that goes onto a cartridge with limited space.

I believe version control systems didn't really exist back then (Git & Mercurial: 2005, SVN: 2004). So probably people took backups of the chunks of code they worked on, copied around a stitched-together code, threw everything together at the end of the day, etc. etc. ...

Does anyone here know if there is some kind of documentary about that topic or did anyone here experience that first-hand?

It would be really interesting to see how that stuff worked back then 😊

I just can't believe how unbelievably and incredibly stupid people can be. Why is it illegal to punch people in the face after they said something stupid? Why?

!rant

Don't you just hate ignorance of others? I sure do. Don't you just hate when you try to tell someone something, but the person on the receiving end is like "Well, it's not my job, so I cannot relate, so I am not going to listen to you at all."

Now, let's talk about a little thing called PRIVACY. Whenever people ask me "Why do you not use Google Chrome, but you use firefox instead?" I always answer "Because it does not compromise your online privacy as much." But, those idiots never listen. The same goes with me being in favor of Unix-like systems such as MacOS and Linux. But they for some idiotic reason do not care for online privacy. They go for the "convenience". I know Google uses the data it collects to "help" you find better results. But the problem is is that you do not get a say in the choice that the algorithm chooses. Also, I know Google might say "Oh, we never look at your files and your information," and it is indeed true that most of the time when you try to research about the cons of Google using Google, only the pros of Google will pop up. Now, if I go onto DuckDuckGo or Bing or even Yahoo!, the results are going to be quite different. I have been using Gmail since about 2011. I have not switched because mainly of Youtube and because I have been using it for so long. True I have two other accounts, which are AOL and Hotmail, but I barely use them, and when I will be 100% concerned about my privacy, I am probably going to switch to AOL.

You might think that it is hypocritical of me to use Gmail, but have you ever tried switching from an email address that you have been using for years? It is hard. So I do the next good thing, and encrypt my emails whenever possible (GOD BLESS PGP). I know Google says that it itself encrypts the Emails itself, but, how can I trust such an advertisement monopoly? I mean, the encryption means nothing if they have the secret key, if needed, they'll just decrypt my email and read the fucking thing. That's why I have my own set of Public and Private keys, and I recommend you too encrypt your Emails, especially any sensitive data that you ever send. I am also buying a web camera cover, because I really do not trust the folks at the NSA and the CIA and all other 3 letter government agencies. But people always tell me "But how can I be significant to the government, I have nothing to hide," which is a fucking lie, EVERYONE HAS GOT SOMETHING TO HIDE.There cannot be freedom of speech if the government constantly sees what you're saying. I wish there were more people in the world like Snowden :/

After the end of Sprint, well, the QA people came up with this defect ( mind it 'defect' ) : "The exclamation mark is not very red" [ sic ]

Cancer died a death that moment.

In this era, information is much more precious than money itself.

I'm not saying that information wasn't as important back in the days. It's just, at present gathering information is much easier than it ever was!! Especially on people who spend more time on mobiles phones and computers.

Formally stated, Newton's third law is: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. As we're consuming information continuously, going through so many webpages, laughing at menes that are relatable and using apps that we need to perform day to day task. We're also providing information that we don't realize doing. This adds up to determining out individual personality.

One can never be too careful to prevent all these, but we can still minimize the damage.

I have become totally apathetic the last two days....my hatred of people in general has grown substantially.....as I retreat further into my shell....my desire to never leave the house is deepening....is becoming more and more prevalent... I really should apply to be disabled for having that fear of leaving the house....but mine isn't a fear.....I simply cannot stand people in general.....My ultimate goal is to become a reclusive buddhist monk....but having a family is making my goal a little complicated.....plus, I am not sure monks are supposed to hate people....so that might be a problem as well.

Really?!?! Are there Devs who don't know what ++ means?

mReasonsToJump++;

Waited 6h with friends for a light show to just leave 15 min before start, because I was too bored and there were way too many people... Right now enjoying with headphone and noise cancelation jazz in the train back home. Programming made me way too awkward... 😐

normal people:
EAT SLEEP RAVE REPEAT
me:
EAT SLEEP CODE REPEAT