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I have healthy anxiety, it started around 15.

I have melanonychia right now, which is a change in a nail pigmentation. I have a grey vertical line running from the the start of the nail to the end.

I had it checked out 6 months ago with a dermatologist and he said it was fine, to do a checkup later.

I took a picture now and it's a bit wider than 6 months ago but it still seems pretty regular and doesn't seem to have signs of subungual melanoma (skin cancer beneath nail, which is the only danger).

Because of getting wider, I'm doing another checkup this week. I wished I had more money.

Meditation is helping me a lot, like big time, but I feel that it's just a distraction for a potentially early demise.

I fucking hate this part of my life. It's too painful.
I'm not depressed enough to not want to be alive, but sometimes I wished I wasn't.

Comments
  • 2
    I just hope you're not googling health related stuff. Symptoms there are in most cases caused by some serious problems like cancer, tumor or heart disease.
  • 1
    Yeah dude, what @CoffeeNcode said.

    Take care.
  • 1
    @CoffeeNcode @ihatecomputers @WildOrangutan
    I got checked by a dermatologist, she thinks then nail looks ok and she made an appointment to get checked by a team of other dermatologists including a nail specialist, so I'm feeling on good hands now.

    I wasn't so anxious about the nail itself, in fact there's still a chance that it's cancer.

    I was feeling very guilty and anxious more of not having a good health professional following the case.

    Thanks for caring also guys.
  • 1
    Get it checked out, and do some hypnotherapy for the anxiety or some shit, it legit works.

    Also the five year survival rate is a bit of a dirty secret in the chemotherapy industry.

    Be thankful it's not a tumor that swells up randomly to the size of your thumb, turns cherry red on occasion, fades to nothing, and gets itchy as hell..over and over.

    Be thankful for it.

    You could be someone without health insurance or the income to get it properly looked at.
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