58

I did it! I told her. I admitted that I have a crush on her. It was awesome, we were in her room, chilling and having Belgian beer and looking over at the beautiful dome of Les Invalids and the lights of Paris through her window. It was raining a little bit. All perfect.
I told her how I really enjoyed her company and how I found her really cool and interesting and how I had a not so small crush on her. She was very surprised but she was glad I told her. I'm really proud that I did something so big.

Oh, she said no btw.

Comments
  • 5
    @irene and that's done :p
  • 4
    @irene the other onneee! The one I was actually interested in, remember?
  • 6
    @irene I'm going to draft my life story into a mini series and send it to you on Telegram.
  • 4
    Good job dude! I know how you feel; I also told my crush a couple of years ago and she said no as well. But I ended up with my wife who is a real winner. It'll all work out in the end 🙂
  • 2
    This made my anxiety worse! But congrats for having balls to do it!
  • 7
    First step is hearing no. Once you have heard it enough its not as scary and you are more relaxed and automatically your ration yes/no will go up ;)
  • 2
    Well done. You can't always influence the result, but you did everything you could, and that's okay.
    Time to move on.
  • 1
    Atleast you had the courage to do it.

    Congratulations for that!
  • 0
    That's a lot of patting on the back. Thanks people. :D

    @Hazarth
    Where's the fun in life if you're not pushing yourself to do stuff that makes you anxious or feel rejected from time to time. My policy is simple. If you're not getting yourself into awkward, anxious or disappointing situations on a regular basis, you're sitting ducks in your comfort zone and not really enjoying enough. Simple. :p
  • 1
    @exceptionalGuy great outlook on life, you know inspired me to be better, at least today! Have a good day/night mate and good luck!
  • 0
    I'm happy that you're happy but please don't girlfriend-zone her. That's just bad for you
  • 1
    My experience there is often when you ask them, and they say no, afterwards, they are much more distant from you and don't want to hang out so much, it kinda ruins things.

    I suspect if she really was interested, she would make the first move.

    But then its not a subject I know a great deal about, so..

    I did read that 1 in 3 relationships the woman makes the first move, and 2 in 3 the man does, or at least, he thinks he does..

    Maybe (I hate using that word..) it depends upon your level of attractiveness, eg. the more attractive you are, the more likely she is to say yes if she hasn't already made the first move.
  • 1
    @12bitfloat uncaught exception MethodNotFoundException
  • 1
    @Nanos Yeah, I was willing to take that risk. Idk she's a cool person so she might not distance herself. Also, since I use humour to diffuse everything, it might not be as bad.

    I don't think people would find me a very physically attractive person. I've been told I can be quite charming otherwise but I completely agree with your opinion. Off to workout now. :p
  • 1
    O-M-G. Telling you have a crush on her. Of course she said no, that's the likely result of such a clumsy approach. The upside is that you don't waste even more time on it.
  • 1
    @Fast-Nop Yeah, that's me clumsy and awkward. :p
    But what do you reckon I should have done instead?
  • 0
    @irene

    What kind of things can one 'do' ?

    That are also legal :-)
  • 0
    FX [ Looks for local girl to hang out with . . ]
  • 0
    @irene well I'm pro at "hanging out". After a point, I become their best friend and hangout buddy coz I'm sooo good. 😒
    Doesn't work for me.
  • 0
    @irene I've had and still have enough options for those, believe me. I don't want a fuck buddy. I want something a little more special and nice. Is that too much to ask?
  • 0
    @irene lel, I'm 23. :p
  • 1
    @irene well companionship is crucial regardless of age. 🤷
  • 0
    > something a little more special and nice.

    From what I've read you only really get that with friends..

    https://science.jrank.org/pages/...

    You may meet someone that looks like a friend, talks like a friend, but won't actually be a friend when you need them..
  • 1
    @irene Well I'm not looking for a soulmate coz I'm Indian and arranged marriages ftw (or fml). I'm looking for someone I genuinely enjoy hanging out with and do weird stuff with. A girlfriend is just how things seem to work here in Paris. I'd honestly be perfectly happy with a commited friendship. xD
  • 1
    @Nanos It's a friend by Duck Test. :p
    No, honestly I'll take anything now to make me feel less lonely. I hangout with so many "wrong" people just to get away from myself.
  • 0
    @exceptionalGuy

    I found hanging out with wrong folk caused me more issues than ditching them and being alone.

    At least I'm not alone in spirit here..
  • 0
    @exceptionalGuy

    > arranged marriages

    You know, in some parts of the world folk would kill for that option !

    I'm reminded of a friend of mine, dead against that.

    Then he was single for a few years..

    Then he changed his mind !

    Now he is happy with a wife, 2 kids, a car loan, mortgage and still gets to play computer games during some of his spare time..
  • 1
    @Nanos @irene I've tried the different options and I find the wrong people who give me some amount of attention is better than nothing. I put up with their shit in exchange for human interaction. xD

    And yeah, I'm not against arranged marriages as such. But it would have been nice to have a choice. Or if my potential match wasn't restricted by geography, language, religion, caste and friggin place and time of birth.
  • 0
    @irene that is indeed my middle name. :D
  • 0
    @irene

    He's nearly paid it all off now after a couple of decades. :-)

    Doing better than me, without a car loan, mortgage, wife, kids, car..

    Though I'm still paying a loan off from my previous relationship, only 4 more months to go !

    So it cost the same as marriage / divorce..

    Lesson there, don't trust loved ones with money, even if you have been together for 8+ years !

    Just assume they will try and rip you off and plan accordingly..

    I think my debt lasted something like 15+ years, practically a lifetime of poverty.

    You can see why I'm just a little cautious !

    And advise others the same.
  • 1
    @Nanos uhh ... That's terrible. I'm glad you saw yourself out of it.
  • 0
    @exceptionalGuy

    I was too nice about things.

    Now I'm trying to be more selfish.

    It's difficult being like that.

    Still, you remember things like living ankle deep in raw sewage and it reminds me, don't be so bloody nice next time !

    People slowly chip away at you, and before you know it, you are being taken advantage of and the only folk who might spot it are your friends.
  • 1
    @Nanos I'll keep that in mind. I'm one of those "die for your love" kinds too.
  • 1
    @irene haha I do agree, it's kinda stupid to give someone that kind of control over you. I don't literally mean die really, I kinda like my life but you get the drift.
  • 0
    @exceptionalGuy you should have acted. And no, hanging out isn't acting. It follows that in the specific situation, there's nothing you could have done because it was already by far too late. You were already in the friendzone because you've acted as a friend all along.
  • 0
    @irene most women don't want nor respect an "I'd die for you" man.

    The logic goes like this: if that guy were among the top 10% of men, he wouldn't die for me because he would have more than enough other women interested in him. Conclusion: he'd die for me because he's a loser.
  • 0
    @Fast-Nop

    I think most people would be happy for someone to pay their bills, give them a home, and a free business so they don't really have to work much.
  • 0
    @Fast-Nop

    Oh I dunno, I'm kinda thinking the friendzone is more, the backup / replacement zone.

    Eg. keep several spare friends, and when you want a relationship, pick the best one from your friendzone, unless there is a better one elsewhere..

    I always rather thought that female friends was just that, friends.

    It didn't really occur to me that I was actually being groomed as a possible future replacement..

    I think when things don't happen, is because you haven't reached the required standard yet..

    Of course, one may never reach that standard !

    Or someone other guy whose that bit better than you comes along instead.
  • 2
    Well, if you play this right you’ve got the ultimate wingman. Congrats on shooting your shot. We regret the didn’ts much more than the dids usually
  • 2
    Cool ! Sounds great!!
    Since I never had crush on anyone can't relate (not sure if that's normal :/)
  • 1
    @R1100 definitely uncommon but you may be asexual or (I forget the word) the type that doesn’t get feelings for someone until you know that person a bit.
Your Job Suck?
Get a Better Job
Add Comment