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Only in computer science you'll find that root is on the top of the tree and that parent may kill it's child after its function is no longer needed.4
-
Caller: Hi, our printer is not working.
Customer Service: What is wrong with it?
Caller: Mouse is jammed.
Customer Service: Mouse? Printers don’t have a mouse.
Caller: Mmmmm? Oh really? I will send a picture….
13 -
My dad just heard about the Iphone7
He wants me to create an Iphone8 because I study things with computers and technology stuff.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯10 -
Overheard this guy talking to his friends about Python.
Guy: "Have you seen Python?? You basically just talk to the computer. There's no variables. You just go 'a = 2' and you can print 'a' and it'll give you 2! And there's no imports or anything!"15 -
Me: I love you
Girl: I've a boyfriend
Me: sudo I love you
Girl: I love you too!
.
.
.
Just an imagination 😢31 -
My wife asked me to give her some cash.
I asked how many bytes!
I'm staring at divorce papers now.8 -
Life of an IT guy
1.Born
2.Study
3.Job
4.Shall I share my screen?.
5.Are you able to see my screen?
6.Am I audible ?
7.Correct me if I'm wrong
8.Sorry I was on mute
9.Ok.. I am sending that email.
10.Did you receive my email?
11.I am on a sick leave.
12.Death
Pretty much it!4 -
Just figured out that a server configuration I made about 3 months ago resulted in one of our main sites being offline.
No one fucking noticed it.
For 3 fucking months.
Amen.6 -
How to fix an error?
Just comment out the code in the actual framework which throws the error, than fixing your code.😂😂
4 -
Haha I just found the function a couple days ago. After searching for it.
*Find on Reddit. Enjoy :P
2 -
Someday in an embedded course:
Lecturer: "You'll want the following drivers and SDK for this lecrure. With some tweaks it'll also work on Windows."
Guy with shiny Mac infront: "What about Mac?"
Lecturer: "WTF? You don't use Mac for embedded systems." o.O
Me: lol 😁5 -
I have a friend that is a girl that loves to snapchat everything she does, the problem is that she now works (in apprenticeship) at a huge company and she snapchats her desktop who has a lots of post-it notes and her screen which is showing excel spreadsheets with customers data and stuff...
And she does this on a regular basis btw
Who can be possibly that dumb...5 -
Possibly the best comment I have ever encountered:
//When I wrote this, only God and I understood what I was doing
//Now, God only knows3 -
A couple of goodies here:
1 - The guy that said 'I prefer to work remote so noone can bother me. I will never answer my phone if you try to call me, and emails will only be read the second I arrive at work and never again. Do not disturb me at all. I decided not to bother him again with another interview request.
2- I personally interviewed at a gaming company in Dundee, Scotland and they wanted me to create a JS application, on video call to them, on Google Docs, and that they had set aside 3 hours for this whilst they watched me and ate lunch. I apologised, said that was the most absurd thing I've ever heard of, and cancelled the interview and hung up without saying bye.
How the fuck can any sort of developer think that's okay to try to make people do?
Well I've been at a new company for the last 6 months now, and I've just discovered that job is still being advertised.4 -
Sometimes I have really loose the will to live and find myself face palming multiple times.
I added live chat software a web frontend for a client. Very easy job that consisted of pasting in some embed code. The actual software is very good and has native ios/andriod apps - something specifically requested.
I got a call from my client about an hour ago, saying there is a "serious issue with the live chat".
My client stated the live chat won't work when his staff go home. He asked me what my solution to this was.
Saying "wtf" many times to myself I directed him to a settings within the chat software i.e. an "away mode" where an email is sent when no chat agents are available.
This apparently wasn't good enough and said I hadn't followed his brief of "adding life chat software to the website", which I had.
After a lengthy discussion I found the root of his frustration. He'd signed a contract with a client of his own, stating there would be 24/7 support via live chat on the website.
Obviously there a huge difference between adding a chat widget to a website and committing to having it manned 24/7 :)
After a further 10 minutes of trying push the blame on myself, the client insisted of having the chat software "appear" as someone was always online, even when they are not (people need to sleep ya know!).
Bu design, the chat software requires at least one agent be logged in before the chat status changes to "online" - why wouldn't it.
After a little while I was seriously wondering why I'm involved in this conversation. I jokingly stated: "Well you could always install Andriod/iOS app on your phone, login and permanently leave it running in background. You'd get lots of notifications, but the site would say the live is always online".
The latter was something I said in jest. To my surprise the client said he'd do that on his own phone going forwards. He actually thanked me for my "resourcefulness", lol.
I'm looking at the same dashboard now and there are 407 pending chat requests - his phone must literally be blowing up notifications :)
5 -
Wordpress :(
Here is another piece of garbage from a previous Wordpress "developer".
This is NOT the generated HTML, it's the actual source code within a custom category template.
The client has said their archives stopped working this year.
*** MASSIVE FACE PALM ***
14 -
Well... My MacBook is officially drunk 😂😂😂
Was testing a code that I made 😅 it actually didn't use more than 8 GB memory lol
7 -
I think I just figured out the function the matrix used for my gf's dog.
Public Action GetOrder(string humantalk)
{
If (Order.parse(humantalk)
.VoiceLevel > Int.MaxValue)
{
while (true)
{
this.bark();
}
}
return dogsAction.Parse('eat hand');
}5 -
Alright I have to rant about this.... Yesterday I taught my grandma how to take a screenshot.... Few hours later I see her clicking pictures.... When I looked closely I see she has her camera app open and she's taking screenshots instead of clicking pictures.... "Screenshots are clearer" it seems.... 😂😂😂 I was like....
4 -
I'm pretty sure I like getting devRant notifications more than tinder ones now. Somethings wrong here 😂2
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Best thing to do when you're having a bad day:
> Post a video on YouTube telling people that you're developing a machine learning algorithm for drones to identify obstacles.
> Show them a basic HTML code on your computer screen.
> Disable the comments4 -
If I have a wish,
I would wished for all the programming languages in this world to have their array...
...start from -1.
7 -
My tinder status:
//Recently relocated to Bangalore
looking for friendship();
beauty += brains;
turn_ons = {tech_talks, humour, adventure};
turn_offs = {selfie_addiction, crap_chat, discussing_people};
If (you in turn_ons &! turn_offs)
swipe right();
else
swipe left();2 -
The next time a teacher tells me to Google something I ask him about...
.... I'll tell him to Google my noodle.
Thank you.
Keep scrolling.3 -
Router: Doctor, I can't take it anymore.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Router: It hurts when IP. -
One of my colleagues held a very short, literally 5 minutes, interview today. The candidate was looking for an android developer position.
Me: Done already?😕
C: Yep. Had enough.
Me: How come?
C: I asked him if he has any apps on the store? No. Any public git? No. Any apk? No.
C: Ok what experience do you have?
Dude: I worked on a app similar to imdb 4 years ago. I made a page for it.
C: *Page* *triggered* *internal screaming* 😂
C: Ok and since then?
Dude: Nothing.
C; Ok, we'll call you.
Best ot luck in your android dev career mate. Never gonna hear from us.
How can you come to an interview and be so unprepared. Was he delosutional or something?😕2 -
I had to migrate ~100+ svn repos to git that were "useful" according to the client but found out that there were a lot of projects (+6yrs old) with only one commit message "--no-commit-message" and i'm not even joking...
And then I had to explain to these "devs" how to use fucking git with eclipse (+they all use light theme...) cos' terminal or gui client is too complicated
And then I saw their "Java libs" with ~3k line of spaghetti
Do you even dev bro?2 -
Am I not allowed to listen to melodic instrumental rock/metal arrangement music, even though I just wanted to finish my job as soon as possible?
I remembered last Sunday when we had a dinner of our co-member's house where the neighbors music was so loud that it hurts their ears. I'm not being hypocrite because I do, too, love rock music. So when they talked about it, I zipped my mouth with innocent eyes and listened to their tattletale with my mind bursting, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR TALKING; I SIMPLY LOVE THE BACKGROUND MUSIC WHEN YOU TRY TO INFLUENCE THEIR NUTSHELLED BRAIN.4 -
Hmm, I find it highly peculiar that I let a friend borrow my pc to watch stranger things on Netflix, with her account.
I signed her into the guest account, she picked Google Chrome (not signed in).
Now my Facebook feed and YouTube adds are all about stranger things..
I get the ip gets logged & mapped.. But srsly.5 -
The job market is lol
Graduated 9 months ago, working minimum wage jobs and applying to jobs, never getting an interview! I finally get a job in my field, and within my first week on the job I get calls for 4 interviews, all paying more than the job I took
On top of that my parents think my salary is way too low but beggars can't be choosers right5 -
(._. ) __/
( ._.) __/
*Starts up YouTube tutorial*
*Open up Roblox studio*
*Codes for a bit*
*Plays titanfall2*
*Gets fuc**d up on titanfall2*
*Wonders why he can't any shit done with his Roblox game*
( ._. )2 -
I just remembered a weird fix in a bug, some old developer hide the error message using css, placing it in a div then just used display none. LOL4
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The first message sent over the early internet across the university, where the concept was developed, was supposed to be the word "login"
The students sent "l" "o" and the system crashed. The students restarted and sent "l" "o" "g" "i" "n" successfully. This makes the first three characters sent over the Internet in history: lol7 -
Hah, a SaaS platform approached me about my open source project. They said, "let's collaborate". After getting into it they said, would you mind replacing xyz in your library with our platform?
Me: Replacing?
I won't go through the rest of the convo since it reveals too much. But damn nice way to stamp out competition. Just kill all the open source frameworks that provide alternatives to your product.1 -
I invested in a brand new 27" curved monitor to work more efficiently with my laptop but now
HDMI isn't recognized by my linux distro on dual boot where it works perfectly with fucking windows and it used to work nice before the latest update
Tried to install official nvidia drivers to try to fix that
🙃 Guess who has a fucked up X configuration now 🙋🏾♂️3 -
This is the last time Microsoft! I'm getting my old Arch image out and removing you from my life forever! Never again will my linux distro randomly uninstall itself without telling me in the middle of implementing new components and crash my development server. Never again will I have to deal with an update that refuses to STFU and go away until I, ME NOT YOU MICROSOFT, decides it's a good time to run the update. No more lack of customization and poor support of common dev tools. I'M DONE WITH YOU, WE NEED TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE.2
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Guess somebody has a bad day xD
Source: stupidedia.de
Transkript:
Linux is the biggest computer - virus that doesnt come from Redmond. Its especially handy if you want to create a 16Gb usb-drive out of a 160Gbdrive
3 -
that moment when you have to use the 'or' operator and don't know for that moment if you are in c#, vb, sql or php..
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When you debug a piece of code for a good half an hour and then realise you forgot to change the name of some variable when copying code from earlier bits.3
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That feeling when you are browsing a job offer and they claim they use "pure PHP".
LOL nope. I won't maintain your custom framework created by five different freelancers over the past few years and turn into something that does scream Frankenstein.
At least state that it uses composer, symfony2 components or some other microframework. I have yet to see an application that truly requires your own framework. And even when you do, base it on silex / symfony2 components. http://symfony.com/doc/current/...2 -
"When you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it."
– Theodore Roosevelt
Mr. Roosevelt encouraged a $5000 loss.7 -
On the beginning of a project I'm not yet ( 😒 ) taking part of I questioned the use of firebase because I understood the client was gonna ask for the web app to be hosted on their servers lately, but people told me not to worry.
Today... Only 2 fucking months later they are asking for the specifications/technologies used so they can prepare their server to host it and I was laughing my ass out internally while saying to my boss:
Well, looks like you are gonna need to rewrite huge parts and probably write a back end from scratch if you are gonna use postgresql.
Lol, why do people never listen to me? This is becoming ridiculous.... -
Interviewer: Could you please make a class to force it create one instance at most?
Me: Sure!
(I didn't know the singleton pattern)
class A {
public static bool isCreated = false;
A() {
if(isCreated == true)
throw new Exception();
isCreated = true;
}
}6 -
Ask Google Assistant "What's the second tallest building in the world?"
Maybe it's a bug or something
Or it just loves the tallest building lol3 -
that hardworking developer is the one that writes (request, response) in node.js instead of (req, res).
-
By the way, for anyone that gets a "lol" from me, I really mean I'm laughing out loud. I don't like being dishonest with these stuff.
Like when I'm in classes and message something funny to a classmate and he replies "rofl", I really expect him to be rolling on the floor laughing but fuck, he's there sitting with a perfect pose without even a smirk on his face. Next time you rofl at me, motherfucker, I expect you to be rolling in the floor. ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING.
So appreciate my lols please. I mean them. I lol in the subway, my car, in classes and the bathroom. I'm sincere with them.6 -
Build project on GitHub with new tags, refresh every hour to see what if somebody found it and like "WOW check this out"? Pft, who am I kidding, still zero.2
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Just saw an advert for a macbook Air in a local computer store. They called it "power. To. The tenth power"1
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Flutter's live demo throws an error with default spinning logo lol
Dart's website is all about UI and shit but their live demo is console output. Also the pi calculation is 100% incorrect7 -
Every time I read someone reply to a post with "lol" I stop for a moment and imagine myself actually laughing out loud to that post. I've got to say, only under ~1% of such posts were actually worth lol'ing. Other times laughing out loud to whatever is there would be retarded at best.
So either I'm a bum with only notions of a sense of humour OR there are far too many retards laughing out loud to basically anything.
Or perhaps there are too many idiots who use 'lol' without knowing what it means.
Or those people so desperately want others' attention that they lie to others pretending to like what they say/do/write by saying "what you did there made me feel so good that I burst in loud laughter".
This is stupid.
If you don't laugh OUT LOUD - then don't say that you do.
If you are not in immediate danger threatening to your life - then don't say you are LITERALLY DYING.
FFS, is it THAT hard?27 -
My top 3 open source projects are :
KDE ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Libinput gestures (allows you to do custom actions with your touchpad)
Strapi (Wich is a nodejs headless cms that gets the job done very quickly I haven't tested it in prod tho)1 -
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i'm waiting for a package manager to come out that compiles everything you have it install from source to "guarantee" it runs on your machine, then have it autopost a SO question when it fails (not if, WHEN) and autotest answers given, then if it didn't work it'd reply saying it didn't work and giving the new error (if appropriate). This'd shut up the "lol it works on my side" and "lol compiling's easy" douchebags and also probably help drive home the importance of providing binaries for things and making them well.
also fuck devkitPro, it's not unreasonable to provide packages for other package managers than Arch's pacman since EVERYONE ELSE DOES IT. And no, "lol just compile from source" doesn't help as it doesn't work when you do. And it doesn't work BECAUSE you don't WANT it to so we HAVE to patchwork pacman into our other distros to get your shitty dev tools. you could also just provide a fucking zip of everything compiled, since then there'd be less effort than maintaining your own copy of pacman and servers and shit just to try and help people desperate enough to try crippling their Windows/Mac/Linux install all because they haven't drank the Arch koolaid.
Fuck those douchebags, fuck devkitPro and... probably fuck you too? Probably? Maybe?
holy shit i really needed to get that shit off my chest i apologize for that3 -
Not a rant, anyone else play League of Legends? Just started back up and it would be cool to game with some fellow ranters. Gaming releases my anger lol4
-
Wordpress :(
This is some production code of a completely butchered Wordpress site I have been forced to work on (the previous developer managed to break the site so the archives section failed to work).
Words literally fail me.
1 -
I'm sure that some of you play LoL, so this might be interesting for you:
Riot has just released (actually, it's been existing for quite a long time, but they told noone about it before) an (undocumented) API for the new client, with it you can actually control the whole client's interface or get and modify client side information and settings.6 -
Y'know...it kinda hurts when you can play Eugene's Trick bag (Steve Vai, look it up) and damn near everything from Metallica and Van Halen as well as Megadeth on the electric guitar AND your grandmother still hates it.
Wish grand mama would enjoy the amount of skill it takes to pull this shit out. But none the less she absolutely abhors it. I think its funny as all hell.21 -
Do you know for LOLCODE language?
LOLCODE WTFFFFF !!!!!!!!!!!
Hello World code:
HAI 1.2
CAN HAS STDIO?
VISIBLE "HAI WORLD!!!1!"
KTHXBYE
Wtfffff !!!!!!!
Lol !!!!!!!
Lolco... [readmore]
7 -
Started work in the morning, after a couple of hours was 90% done and would be clicking the checkbox on trello that task is completed.
Lol.
Found a bug.
OK, debugging time.
Spend an hour on trying to fix the simplest bug ever,( php was creating a file that had the contents but the wrong name)
At this point I was starting to get super pissed of cuz in 30min I need to go meet up with some friends.
LOL ok, fuck this shit, I don't want to do this anymore.
Made the bug into a feature that now you can have multiple authority(admin) accounts.
My teamm8 was like lol ok, we didint really need this but it will be useful so nice job.
👏GREAT MORNING:))))1 -
So I plan to ditch my 17" heavy gaming laptop to chose something more suitable for school for a (13/14") ultrabook (I plan to run Debian on it) that has a decent battery life
Anyway, I looked at those chinese ultrabook on AliExpress/gearbest but I'm a bit skeptical about some factors.
Anyone has recommendations about a model or some advices?9 -
I wonder if there is a Galaxy where at the fashion Show instead of women there are just Code parts walking on the catwalk and it is a Contest which Code is the most beautiful .. Lol1
-
!rant
I've been coding for just about 2 months now! I literally dont wanna do anything else!! Its all I can think about... I know im not qualified to work a dev job yet lol but I wish i could nab a junior dev position so I can practice 9-5 not just after business hours and on the weekend... -
1. Make all my websites responsive on every device and on all the browsers automatically
2. Optimise each and every line of code that I write
3. Make sure I would never have to look at my duck again2 -
Oh you want that ticket closed from a week ago? Okay how about every time i finish it, you quit reopening it and adding more tasks and features to shit ive already redesigned/gutted/debugged about 20 fucking times.1
-
I used to do a job where I helped older people with their computer issues and of my customers once used an actual magnifier to view websites their smaller letters. Both logical but also hilarious, the customer probably didnt know any better!2
-
Ah, but if an AI were to steal every technical job on the planet, there would be a humongous spike in developer jobs that would support the AI for one job, so it would increase the demand for developers.
Mind = blown1 -
Do you remember the question: How can I get the Counter Strike game in a Floppy disk? and.. what is done there they copied the shortcut into the floppy Lol2
-
I hate meteor. I hate that I have to have everything I do revolve around meteor and it's packages. I hate that I cant implement HMR without support from meteor or tearing my hair out for hours on end. I hate the special implementation of unit tests that have to accommodate for the fact that meteor sucks so much. I hate the encapsulated bubble of "meteor" packages that install themselves outside of my development directory. I hate that I can't use most of the code I find while researching problems because it doesn't work inside of the meteor bubble.
I did not start this project. I did not select meteor as a starting point because I didn't want to implement my own full stack solution, of which there are many that are far better in almost every way, and watch everyone else that touched my code suffer from day one.
If it is the last thing I do, I WILL purge meteor and all of it's nonsense from every line of code in this application even if that means rewriting every line of code in this application.
I will have no mercy. There will be screams of agony, gnashing of teeth and blood will flow down the streets like the rivers of hate that flow in my heart for meteor and all things it stands for.
I will have my vengeance, and it will be terrible.1 -
Iphone 11:-selling one kidney
Iphone 12:-selling two kidneys
Iphone 13:- Selling two kidney , two eyes, two lungs😂😂
Iphone 14:- Selling brain
To whom I am selling brain:- YOUR BRAIN IS USELESS😑
ME:-why
To whom I am selling brain:- If your brain was usefull you would not sell your eyes,lungs etc for a phone
ME:-😶😶😶😶😶😶😓😓
Lol😂😂3 -
xcode rant
After a long and exhausting progress that feels like it took days! (maybe a day lol). I came to the conclusion that StoryBoard is probably one of the biggest pains in the universe. I tried to center a UIImage View for an eternity to work both with landscape and portriat and continued to get vaying results with no actual pattern whatsoever.... One day I woke up and there was actually more textfields than were originally put on...... wahhhhh?
Within this eternity I decided that my only hope against losing all sanity and bashing my head against a keyboard screaming "#$%# you Xcode!" was to do the UI in AutoLayout Programmatically. Took me 1 hour.... thats it... Just one. Instant love. haha
Okay Im done now. Have a great day devRanters! -
I was surfing the web.....
Let's see if there is something new about comma ai
Maybe they decided to really release their source (visiond, etc...)
[Actually they don't :-( ]
So my trip begins...
comma(.)ai -> youtube -> github -> youtube (again) ->> etc...
Then i found this:
openpilotlegacy(.)org
😂😂😂😂
LoL -
What would you want to tell to your past you ?
Like, the advice that could have helped you a lot if you heard it at the right time5 -
The iCloud and Google drive is actually a place where all iOS and Android phones end up, respectively.
-
How upvote whoring will be on devRant : Guys upvote this Rant to reach the upper limit on the votes counter and know what variable type it is !!!1!!1!!3
-
learning biology bases turned out to be a greatway to start rationalizing down friendship/relationship to hormons! GREATWAY TOGETDEPRESSED. lel
(thanks anyway to the guy who thought me :P)2 -
They're calling me the exterminator at work. I would take that as a compliment if it hadn't been me who introduced the bugs.
-
Hey guys I have a NUC and a spare monitor are there "fancy screensavers" that I could modify if needed ? Or should I do one myself haha5
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