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How would you deal with noisy neighbours that cause sleep interruptions every. single. night? Y’know, as an introverted person who’s scared of being stabbed by said neighbours.

The pettier the better.

Comments
  • 2
    Have this kind of neighbors, welcome to Guatemala, and use those plasticine earbuds wrapped in plastic once in a while after some time you'll forget about noise, listen to baroque music, noise is rather a kind of mental resonance among your own inner noise and the external one
  • 1
    Use the earbuds
  • 0
    @yerdax - I usually have to put my earphones in and listen to music in order to drop off. But it’s just not something I should have to do in my opinion.
  • 4
    Every night go and pee on their doormat
  • 1
    @kfalencik - This is a great idea. But what if they open the door and catch me?
  • 3
    Stab them first... with a Zweihänder.
  • 2
    I don't know. That's what my cat does though
  • 2
    @kfalencik - Note to self: get a cat.
  • 1
    @theKarlisK - Mmm. Sexy weapon to two-hand in Dark Souls.
  • 3
    @apatheticmirry you look them dead in the eye and finish your business while doing so.
  • 2
    @apatheticmirry Is this someone in your apartment? Do you have a landlord?
  • 1
    The mosquito tone? Some heavy metal?
  • 1
    @Demolishun - The apartment is owned by the council. A lady came around yesterday and said she’d have a word with them. No change yet so I’m assuming g she hasn’t sorted a visitation order yet.
  • 1
  • 5
    It's the natural circle of life. They won't let you sleep, you pee on their doormat. They finally caught you doing it, you politely explain your neighbourly nightly tradition and before you know it you're best friends. You go to the swings together, build sand castles on the beach, tell each other secrets, build pillow forts. At some point you realise that someone new is peeing on your neighbours doormat. They suddenly stop talking to you or inviting you over. You start drinking and taking all sorts of drugs to cure your sadness. Then one time half-awake on your way for more booze you notice your neighbour laughing with another guy. Your heart is broken. You go home, take gasoline, put their fucking doormat on fire. Police arrives. You won't go to prison. Writes a suicide note to your cheating neighbour, put a gun in your mouth and pull the trigger. Nothing happens though, the gun is full of piss, your piss from the doormat. You swear to get revenge on them while police takes you away.
  • 1
    @d4ng3r0u5 - See, I don’t want to play music loudly because if I then tell the council, they’ll just say that I’m no different to them. I did end up shouting, “shut the fuck up,” at my ceiling to make them stop having sex. That seemed to work for a little while... or at least until the sun came up.
  • 1
    @kfalencik So I see you are into country music...
  • 1
    @kfalencik - Reading that disturbing set of events, I am nothing but impressed. Nice job. At least now I know where I’ll end up in a few months.
  • 2
    Knock on door.
    Tell them your alcoholic, wife that you met in prison, who served time for murdering her neighbors, asked you to tell them to be quiet.
  • 1
    Joking guys? The guy is desperate.
  • 2
    Move to my neighborhood,
  • 2
    I once lived in town and this dwarf guy used to come to my front door with his pals, to have beer. I invented a recipe to make artificial shit, out of grinded cardboard, modelled as real dog 💩, lol, they never sat there again, as soon as new 💩 appeared there at the door
  • 1
    In USA laws are enforced, Latinos tend to be shitty neighbors due to lack of education, but here in Latin America, we are the boss
  • 2
    Hack their phones
  • 1
    Ask them to quiet down. Failing that, it is likely they use internet to listen to music. WiFi being rather insecure...
  • 1
    @yerdax - You’re a magnificent beast, my man.
  • 2
    @nnee - ... genius. Pure genius.
  • 2
    I had to move to a detached suburb house because of noisy neighbours' kids, but I can now also listen to metal until 3 am in weekends if I want. It gives so much freedom, move to a suburb a bit outside city if you can.
  • 0
    @wateringdisease - Oof, bye city living! Hello quiet nights.
  • 1
    Move..

    Concrete walls/floors help.

    Any other approach, risks you getting stabbed, or worse, you stabbing them and getting into trouble for it !

    Neither are great solutions, experienced both..
  • 1
    Spam the council with complaints 👴. It's annoying but I imagine the more you complain the more it bugs them to sort it out?
  • 3
    @yaaaasfish

    I never found councils very helpful !

    Or the police..

    Or even the intelligence services of your country..

    I did find the tax people helpful though sometimes..
  • 5
    Subsonic sound weapons aimed at their house. It causes a sense of dread and fear of impending doom but it’s not audible to the human ear.
    Get one.
    https://amazing1.com/ultrasonics.ht...
  • 1
    I have this exact problem at the moment. Neighbors in apartment building have a party two nights a week on work nights. I’ve missed days of work and loads of social things due to being tired.

    I’ve gone next door and told them to be quiet seperate 3 times at around 2 am so far.

    They did it again Thursday night so I’m now taking to building managers / estate agents etc who are going to get on their case. We’ll see what happens...

    In the meantime looking at new apartments 😴
  • 0
    @Nanos haha this is true!
  • 2
    @badcopnodonuts

    Could also be useful for parked vehicle security too.

    Looks like it could be legal too !

    And household security.

    Though coming back to the house late at night and Alexa decides you have taken too long to input your security code, could make you vomit on your own doorstep..

    Reminds me of:

    https://learn.adafruit.com/bedazzle...

    > Hardware hackers open source

    > Homeland Security
  • 1
    Actually that reminds me of a time when I was coming home late at night with a friend, and a dog approach us.

    Now I'm good with dogs, but my friend wasn't..

    Friend threw a stick for the dog.

    So..

    Now my friend has a dog for life !

    It followed us home.

    Well, it followed us to my home !

    My friend then went away, but the dog didn't follow him..

    Oh no, it stayed outside my home barking..

    Now, interestingly a really annoying neighbour of mine also has a dog..

    What does a dog like to play with more than a stick, yes another dog !

    But before that happens, people start complaining to my neighbour about their dog barking..

    Except their dog isn't. :-)

    And I don't have a dog, so it isn't me. :-)

    Anyhow, it just made me think, perhaps your annoying neighbour has something unique sound wise to them that might annoy a lot of other people if they kept hearing it.
  • 1
    @Nanos oooh.. I’m digging the open source non lethal weapon gig. :)
  • 2
    I have been in jail, noise is wonderful after you understand that humans are in different stages of evolution. We are noisy species, then coming down from our fluffy cloud once in a while is good. If I had to choose whether noisy neighbors and noisy inmates, I definitely prefer the neighbors. Do not suffer pals, noise is life, being astray is marvelous, it does not mean there is not noise in your life
  • 2
    @yerdax - Unfortunately, as somebody who hasn’t been to jail, I would prefer my neighbours to be respectfully quiet. They don’t have to be silent. But if they’re gonna have their music blasting and screaming sex in the middle of the night, I’m gonna be pretty mad.
  • 1
    @yaaaasfish @Nanos - The council are often useless. I told the advisor that manages our area about the last neighbours, (they would scream at and attack each other at literally all hours), and even though she spoke to them, it continued. They would have rowdy sex as well. I’m not sure whether it’s the council or the area. Either way, both are bad.
  • 2
    @apatheticmirry

    This is why I always recommend to people, detached property !

    Ideally with a lot of distance between you and your nearest neighbour..

    Though I have lived in a flat, but it was a solid built concrete one and you couldn't hear anything from next door's !

    Other flats I've been in, wooden floors/walls, can hear a pin drop next door !
  • 2
    Fucking hell man I needed to reply to this shit too when I saw your recent rant. Dude, my neighbors blast their bachata EVERY FUCKING WEEKEND WITHOUT FAIL. SAT-SUN FROM 7PM-AM ON BOTH DAYS.

    I’m about to call the cops on they ass because non-emergency services is useless af. They’ll send cops sure, but they lie and say they observed no disturbances meanwhile YOU CAN OBVIOUSLY FUCKING HEAR THE MUSIC FROM OUTSIDE THE APARTMENT BUILDING 🙄

    I did resort to splashing their doorknob and bottom corner of their front door with piss and as I observed each new person and reoccurring person coming outside of their apartment door, they sniffed their hand a few times and walked away like it was a normal smell 😂😭

    FUCK RUDE NEIGHBORS.
  • 1
    @Superviral - Duuude, I’m sorry you’re having to deal with the same thing. It’s like they just don’t realise there’s other people in the building. And obviously the people that have the resources to move away are gonna be okay, but for those on low pay it’s not a great situation. Literally nothing you can do without making yourself homeless. But I’d rather have no sleep and a roof over my head. It’s just a shame.
  • 1
    @apatheticmirry what’s funny is that I rant about it, and an hour later THEY STOPPED PLAYING MUSIC FOR ONCE.

    I enjoyed last night as one of the very first weekends I actually enjoyed since moving into this godforsaken building.
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