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"full stack" means "you'll be doing everything from gathering client requirements through data architecture up to the UI design and of course implementing all of it"

"backend" means "you'll be coding everything from database through server-side code and client-side code including html and css"

"we need you on-site all day every day" means "we have no idea how and why we should use repositories with remote access despite being a company developing an internet app, and we don't trust that you would be working anyway"

"interesting challenging projects" means "the same boring crap as every other company, running on an incredibly botched and dezorganized codebase".

"competitive pay" means "actual pay is around 1.5 times the minimum allowed pay, and everything else is being siphoned off into (stupid and useless) 'benefits' like massage and fitness discount coupons"

"friendly collective having fun at numerous company events each years" means "it is mandatory for you to participate on our weekend drinking retreats but you'll only find out when we fire you because you're 'not a team player' after you refused to participate on those"

Comments
  • 19
    I'd drop out immediatelly due to the last one :)
  • 16
    @netikras yeah, i was "let go" from two different companies due to the last one. needless to say, i wasn't too sad about it.
  • 24
    oh, i remembered another one:

    "young, dynamic and friendly collective" means "there's no process, nobody has any fucking idea what they're doing, and if you try to point it out and explain how to improve it, that will be considered a baseless badmouthing"
  • 7
    This perfectly describes being a dev in the US. šŸ™„
  • 2
    You missed "Server management and maintenance" in the (backend) section.
  • 3
    How is this so fucking accurate?
  • 4
    @WinterCore no, i missed it in the full stack section. on every backend position i had, which worked as i described, server management was handled by someone else, not sure whom.

    probably electricians.
  • 3
    @Wack i'm a fuckin' genius ;)
  • 0
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