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Story time! Promised this, so making good on the promise. Eh-hem.

Misunderstandings [A slice of life short play that actually happened]

Dramatis Personae (anonymized, bc of course):
Moi ........ me, myself and possibly some lint
Robert ..... co-architect
Daisy ...... line dev
Lisa ....... also line dev

Prologue: the beginninning
[A project is starting up, new devs are coming on, including the two individuals who drive this story.
Daisy, of Indian origin, an exceptional dev and lovely person. Mother, wife, very conservative by upbringing in her early 40s.
Lisa, also exceptional dev, lovely person. Mother, also wife, self-made immigrant with liberal views derived from personal pride and self-bootstrapping]

Enter the office, We introduce everyone, off to a nice start, everyone is happy and excited to be working on [large bank project].

Lisa and Daisy form a friendship of commonality, they have similar backgrounds by all appearances and similar concerns due to children the same age and shared employment. They seem to become fast friends and things proceed normally for some months. Smooth sailing, all is well.

The fuse is lit.

Scene: Lunchtime gossip
[Robert, middle 40s architect adjacent Moi, also architect, age is my own damn business [old, so very old].]
Robert: "So, it seems like Daisy and Lisa are getting along great."
Moi: *snerfs a little, almost chokes on enchilada* Yes, yes they are, It's nice to see...
Robert: *eyebrow, having learned to read my expressions* "Aaaaaaand..."
Moi: "I adore both of them, but they are primarily friends because they don't actually understand most of what the other says"
[Lisa has a thick Taiwanese accent, Daisy has a standard northern indian accent. Never the two shall meet]
Robert: "Are you sure, they seem to have a lot of conversations?"
Moi: "Positive, you weren't at lunch with the three of us. They're polar opposite in terms of values, it'll be fine so long as that never comes up"
Robert: "I'm not even digging into that"
Moi: *flan*

Sizzle.

Scene: This is bat country
[More months pass, everything is fine, project is humming along nicely, save a few blips of personality conflicts. Moi takes a vacation. A gas station, somewhere in the middle of Wyoming, a snowstorm, a sports car full of luggage]
*phone rings*
Moi: *looks down, sees it's Robert, eyebrow raises, answer* What's on fire?
Robert: "We had to let Lisa go"
Moi: "Ah, they finally understood each other."
Robert: "Yes..." *deep sigh*
[Fade to flashback]

Bang.

Scene: The office, Lisa's desk
[Daisy and Lisa are discussing non-descript conversation. Daisy broaches the subject of Lisa's past divorce and being a single mother]
Daisy: "It must have been hard, how did you manage?"
Lisa: "I had my daughter, she was my motivation. We made it here, I met my current partner"
Daisy: "That's good! It is so hard, coming to something new. I could never imagine leaving my husband."
Lisa: "He left us, we weren't important, I don't want to marry every again"
Daisy: "Surely you do though? Marriage is great for a woman, my parents found a great husband for me."
Lisa: "Haha, lucky you. Most indian marriage is like prostitution."
[At this moment, Daisy's demeanor takes a nose dive. Whatever was actually said, what she heard was, "Indian marriage is prostitution"]
Daisy: *tears begin pouring down her face, she flings herself back in her chair, head shaking violently she screams* "I AM AN HONORABLE WOMAN!"
[Daisy runs out of the room, straight to HR. Lisa sits there, stunned, not really understanding what just happened or the consequences]

Scene: Back in bat country
[Robert finishes the story, the emotions are a mixture of hilarity at the absurdity of the situation and frustration in the work void it has created]
Moi: "Satan, well. Fuck me. Fuck us. Fuck. Is Daisy alright, is she at least staying? We can't lose two devs at the same time."
Robert: "She got a few days off, she seems fine now, but she's... yeah, I never laughed so hard"
Moi: *double facepalm* "Yeah, the word choice was a bit outrageous. It's not like we didn't know it was coming. I'm going to get back on the road."
Robert: "Alright, enjoy yourself, I'll try and prevent any other forest fires."

Comments
  • 24
    I'm hooked! When's s01e02?
  • 23
  • 6
    @SortOfTested totally waiting for the next week. This was a good read
  • 2
    I wonder if Netflix or Amazon will pick this up as ongoing series.
  • 3
    Why did you have to let Lisa go? It lookes much more like Daisy's fault, she should be the one going.
  • 5
    @Benedikt
    Above my pay grade 😀 I still hang out with Lisa
  • 1
    Awesome story. Really looking forward to a follow-up!
  • 1
    😂 this is hilarious, adding @SortOfTested to my subscription list for the next episode.
  • 0
    So is this why come April you need new people?
  • 7
    In an alternate reality, Daisy uses laser from her forehead to destroy Lisa. Lisa dodges the attack and pulls up two samurai swords from her back. She jumps and spins around in the air to slash Daisy.

    While Daisy was fast enough to avoid getting slashed to death, the blades hit her clothes and it all went down in slow motion. She immediately covers herself and scream, "I AM AN HONORABLE WOMAN!"

    At this point, Daisy uses 100% of her powers. She summons an elephant god. Lisa, shocked by the sight, starts crying and begging for her life. "Daisy, you were my friend. I didn't mean to hurt you."

    Daisy recovers from his rage and hugs Lisa. Her naked body against hers, she rubbed Lisa's ass.
  • 0
    MOREEE
  • 2
    first time since i joined dev rant i feel you should be allowed to give multiple ++
  • 1
    Tactical dot

    .
  • 1
    From experience, the more conservative employees usually get fired from dev shops no matter who was at fault. They are non-persons these days who are always in the line of fire when Leftists are the ones who actually caused the trouble.
  • 0
    > snerfs
    > *flan*
    alright so i'm gonna need an explanation
  • 2
    @Parzi
    Snerf - onomatopoeia
    Flan - a delicious Spanish/Hispanic custard 🍮, sometimes also referred to as quesillo when made with cream cheese
  • 2
    @SortOfTested first one: accepted, will remember
    second one: context is the issue here.
  • 2
    @Parzi
    *Loses interest, proceeds to eat a delicious flan*
  • 1
    @SortOfTested i see. Continue.
  • 2
    Lisa should just had pressed the dot on forehead of Daisy to shut her down before she ran to HR...lol waiting for part two mate. I think such stories can become a show on Netflix.
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