AboutI'm an...older...dev who got derailed by a stint in social media PR management. Tryna get my coding mojo back and need a place to rant.
SkillsWordPress and way too much social media.
Joined devRant on 11/26/2016
Do all the things like ++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatarSign Up
I used to be able to connect my Windows laptops to any TV with HDMI and duplicate the screen for presentations, watching movies, etc. But since about 6 months ago I can’t get ANY TVs to work with ANY Windows laptops. Everything I’m reading says it’s either out of date drivers (nope) or something to do with a crap update from MS. I’m going with the latter. It can’t be coincidence that ALL my updated machines suddenly can’t do this basic function.
Anyone out there ever had to deal with WordPress in Azure? Do you have any horror stories to share? I’m working on convincing a potential BIG client to switch away from Azure and need some good examples of why it’s not as suitable for large-scale hosting and management of multiple WordPress installs as other solutions available.6
Manager: “We need you to stay in the room and not go outside to make personal calls on your mobile.”
Me: “uhmm okaaaay...”
*I get a call* “Yeah, I called about making a doctor appointment....my symptoms? Ummmm...*lowers voice to say it but everyone still hears...totally embarrassing*
Same manager, later, at performance review: “We found it highly inappropriate for you to be talking about your personal medical issues on the phone in front of everyone in the office.”17
Accountability Post: I'm 6 Lynda.com tutorials into a 17 tutorial set to rebuild my full stack skills and try to bring them to more current standards. Also looking at additional course paths but feeling a bit overwhelmed when I think of the time it will take just to get through them, let alone all the practice. I must do this, though, and more frequently, even, if I intend to successfully work in this same field for the next 21-ish years until I can retire.1
This is legit bad news.
The Big Hack: How China Used a Tiny Chip to Infiltrate U.S. Companies
The attack by Chinese spies reached almost 30 U.S. companies, including Amazon and Apple, by compromising America’s technology supply chain, according to extensive interviews with government and corporate sources.
I'm old and dumb comparing how things are today with where I started from. Time to start over again.11
I was helping a client launch a new website. We met in a restaurant to do the final launch work. I mentioned I use VPN software to protect my computer on public WiFI and taught him what it means. He said it sounds hackerish and untrustworthy and I had a hard time explaining how it’s actually a countermeasure to hackers.
The next day he calls and says his cell phone is acting up and wants to know what my VPN software might have done to cause that.
How do some people get dressed in the morning?2
"You should record video tutorials of how to do stuff", people say to me.
#1 - I suck on camera. I have a really annoying nasally voice that I just can't stand to hear in my own head, let alone on video.
#2 - I look like every stupid a--hole fat old ugly white guy people love to hate. Nobody wants to see that.
#3 - I suck at remembering what the f$$# I was going to say to begin the video, to show the thing I was going to show, and how to end it without sounding like a complete #@#%@# moron.
#4 - %@%$#@ QuickTime! And any other video screen recording software that NEVER $%#@#$% WORKS for me!! I'll be in the middle of a very complex process I'm demonstrating and BAM! The whole recording crashes. Six takes and six more crashes later and I'm @#%#@# done with trying to do this #@$@#%.
Screenshots and text it is and always will be.9
Best boss is my current boss(es). They don’t breathe down my neck, no micromanagement, and basically let me outsource anything I don’t want to do or don’t know how to do. I work 100% remote on my own schedule (except for a few core hours) and every time I ask if they have any problems with my work or feedback for my improvement they say they couldn’t be happier. If I make a mistake, they don’t rake me over the coals and they just let me handle the problem.
I’ve been waiting over 20 years for a job like this one. Why can’t it be this way for everyone?3
Hmm. This code needs refactoring.
*recodes on Local and uploads*
Works on my branch.
*git push origin master and merge*
Works on Dev.
*deploy to Test*
Works on Test.
*deploy to Live*
*compares Live to Test, Dev, and Local*
No f$@%^%%$# difference!?!!
*quits development and lives under a bridge*5
I'm trying to move a backup User folder from a dead Windows computer over to cloud storage. In checking the size of the folder before compressing it, it shows as 1.08GB, which I guessed would be reasonable. So I zipped it and it came out to be 48GB!! Compressed to 75%! So I went one folder deeper and checked the properties of all files there. That came out to be much larger than 1.08GB. Thinking Windows has some problem revealing the true size of a parent folder and its content, I did a Google search. Sure enough, it's a bug where incorrect folder size is reported. What the heck is going on at Microsoft that this blatant of a bug would ever have a chance of getting into the code? And why is this single user at 48 GB _compressed_? I'd understand if the user was a photographer, but he's just a gamer, and these aren't applications, just save files and profile settings!
I just got a free invitation to a HackerX job networking event. Has anyone ever been to one of these events? Is it worth it to go?1
I’ve discovered I can almost never do business with friends or become friends with previously non-friend clients. It becomes too often an excuse not to pay me for my work.3
I see a lot of great desk setups but none like all the marketing stock photography I keep seeing that tells me I’m a loser if I don’t have an all glass office and all the most expensive stuff.2
I gotta say I never understood owning a Roomba until my wife got me an off-brand Deebot one for my birthday. I named it “The Kraken”, as in “release the...” because it sees nothing and devours all. My kids can now rest easy because they won’t hear me complain about how the floor is always dirty and how nobody wants to vacuum but me. Now I just fire up the app, hit “Auto”, and The Kraken cleans my house. It even mops! I feel bad for the doggo, though.7
So I go into Google Search Console to try to determine why its saying pages are not compliant with mobile and whatnot.
No CMSes allowed unless GOOGLE built it.
Let's just all revert to HTML 1.0 and be done with it.2
I wonder sometimes whether people in Silicon Valley know how the rest of the world thinks about and acts on technology. I mean, I know they do to a degree, but is there anyone else besides me that thinks it’s kind of an “ivory tower” existence over there, with people chasing the latest shiny thing regardless of if people want or need it?20
I don't feel comfortable swearing. It's just how I was raised. But GoDaddy makes me want to. Badly. One of my specialities is switching people AWAY from that monstrosity. EVERY time I do that and there are pro-rated refunds, they ALWAYS try to pressure me into applying that refund to some other unwanted product. NO, YOU DINGBAT! We're dropping you like the hot, gooey, fly-covered turd you are, not looking to add even MORE expensive and unnecessary services.
Boss: “Our ecommerce conversions in Google Analytics are less than the actual pace of orders.”
Me: “Nothing has changed in the tracking code or setup. It must be our goals setup which you have to have a Ph.D. to understand, plus whatever mood Google’s algorithms are in today.”
He’s not mad at me. We’re both just confused why Google AdWords, Analytics, and Tag Manager have to be so damn hard to get right. I’ve never been able to do it right. And most data is thrown out because people browse websites while logged into their Google Account, which makes their clickstream disappear and become unattributable because of understandable privacy policies. I don’t want my data tracked when I’m logged in either!
So now we have had to hire specialists at several thousand dollars per month to figure this out.
So I'm looking at getting a drone to do some videography for commercial purposes. I've been researching all the FAA regulations, dos and don'ts, tips for flying, videography, etc. My finger is hovering over the "buy now" button on BestBuy.com.
But, there's an exam you have to take to certify to fly for commercial purposes that, I thought, was supposed to test you on the Part 107 regulations. I pull up a list of sample test questions from the FAA's own website and it has questions on it that, for all intents and purposes, apply only to MANned aircraft, not UNmanned aircraft. Crap like "What airport is located approximately 47 (degrees) 40 (minutes) N latitude and 101 (degrees) 26 (minutes) W longitude?"
And I'm sitting here like, "WTF! I don't live anywhere near there! I just want to take pictures of some friggin trees and houses in my metro area!"
"Welcome to the FAA website, where we're not happy until you're not happy."3
So StackOverflow has a new code of conduct. Let's see if it's going to actually improve interactions there. https://stackoverflow.com/conduct2
My therapist tells me I’m not allowed to talk about problems I’ve had with designers anymore. *pops a valium*1
DAMMIT WINDOWS! WHY EVERY TIME I DO A LENGTHY FILE UPLOAD OR BACKUP OR COPY OPERATION YOU GOTTA FREEZE THE HELL UP SO I HAVE TO RESTART AND TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHERE THINGS LEFT OFF?!
It’s like the Microsoft programmers wrote a function:
I read the whole site and still don’t know if it’s legit. All I know is that the next time someone expects to “pay” me through “exposure”, I’ll be sending them here: https://paywithexposure.com2
Dreamhost sucks. For a DECADE now people have posted the same issue on their community forum about how they cannot cannot send email from their iOS devices using the exact settings Dreamhost requires. Or they were able to intermittently but with no settings changes to explain why it stops working randomly. Yet Dreamhost continues to insist nothing is wrong on their end.
So I go to try and sign up to publish my own problem post. It says to check my email for an activation link. Nothing ever comes, not even to desktop Outlook even when it does work for other emails.
I’m now in my third try at attempting to set up reasonably priced shipping for a small volume ecommerce website. First it was UPS which charged more to ship than the product was worth, and ended up just dropping it off at USPS for local purchasers. Then it was USPS but apparently I chose the wrong WooCommerce plugin because it’s meant for high volume (but doesn’t say so in the description). Now I have to get the plugin maker to swap it to Stamps.com and I have to set up a whole new account there and no idea if it’ll even work. FML.
Not a fight I was involved in but one I observed. A junior dev on my team and a server ops guy had major personality conflicts. One day the server ops guy had enough and physically went after the junior dev. I was senior but still pretty new to my own career and had no idea how to handle it. Server guy got fired soon after. I was glad I didn’t have firing power and that he didn’t even report to me anyways.2
PayPal sucks. They canceled our ability to take ecommerce payments just because. No reason given. We had not violated any terms of service. Our customers are happy with our products. And we were making them lots of money. They just up and pulled the plug because they’re PayPal and screw anyone who asks why. Idiots.3