While doing the dishes, I came up with a nice little way of responding to the question of "so what do you do?" when asked by muggles.
And here it is:
"I work on a project called the applicability of artificial intelligence to detection of anal cavities"
Yes, I'm aware of how antisocial that makes me sound.
No, I don't care.

And if they insist ask them to be test subjects :p

"I code."

A lot easier

@Stuxnet boring and not antisocial enough 😛

@NoMad wouldn't it be more antisocial tho. It's less effort, and a short response is a sign to leave me tf alone

@Stuxnet oh, you need to socialize more, dear.

I'm fairly antisocial but I enjoy talking about my work if someone actually asks. It's also a good review for yourself if you can explain your work to a complete non-techie in a way that they actually get it.

@RememberMe and where's the fun in that? I for one have never been of the teacher sort.

@NoMad people tend to reciprocate and you get to hear all about the cool stuff they do or about their interests. There's so much more out there than development, I quite enjoy hearing about other stuff.

@RememberMe That's not how you find the most interesting people. But I'm glad you're having fun with what bores me. 😛

Or you could use the Ol' reliable one

You don't have the clearance to view that information.

-mysterious
-instills fear
-may make you sound cool

@Lyym "I'd tell you but then I'll have to kill you." is cooler and already taken.

@NoMad exactly :p

@Lyym It's also robotic enough to feel like a dialog box on a remote file access system, thus giving the illusion that you have to give that answer a lot.

I tell computers how to serve their masters. It is harder than it sounds. ;)

@Oktokolo "That's racist"

@electrineer we already have a "hardware abuse" term and another one that refers to when you punch a computer or robot. It's not even funny. soon we will have to integrate with them and give them equal rights. 😛 (tbh, as soon as they're self-aware and can "feel" - however artificial that might be - I'm ok giving them equal-ish rights. And I use the term "ish" because they will for sure be superior to us in different aspects each)

"It is complicated PEBKAC low level driver stuff"
Also - "Shiboleet".

Witty biblical option: I teach machines to tell good from evil, since they already live forever.

@electrineer
Of course it is. But we evolved to be masters and they are created to serve. In this case, racism is okay.