Boss - so how long will this transport booking app take, native android and iOS ....plus backend, plus localization, plus live location tracking, blah blah.

Me - at least 4 months, or more

Boss - HOW can an app take MONTHS? That is totally unacceptable, it’s not gonna work this way, blah blah. I’m giving u 2 months, tops. No project should take more than 2 months.

Next app,
Boss - so this new e-commerce app needs to be made, u have api. How long?

Me - 2 months coz ——-

Boss - WHATTTTT!!!??? 2 months for an APP!!???? What is this? Not gonna work this way, you should make apps in a week. Other people make apps in a week.

Then fucking hire those other people. Lol.

  • 32
    Your boss uses the same logic as Fry (from Futurama):
    "It took me an hour to write it, so I thought it would take an hour to read."
  • 24
    Is that his reaction to everything?

    Your Boss - How long cook this Turkey.

    You - It should take between 4 to 5 hours based on the size of the bird.

    Your Boss - WHATTT??!!! totally unacceptable I know people that can cook a whole turkey in 20 minutes.
  • 21
    Your first mistake was committing for/delivering in 2 months the first one
  • 18
    Boss GF: This needs to take an hour!

    Your Boss: WHAT! Too long it should only take 2 minutes.

    Boss GF: Fine, I will find the developer you complain about. He takes the time needed to get the job done!
  • 5
    @netikras Indeed. I always add 2 or 3 months, weeks, days, whatever to a product that needs to be made from scratch
  • 3

    > implying that boss has a gf
  • 14
    I was on a call with a bunch of c's and e's. They wanted to build this common service from scratch. After telling them we should probably just find one and use it they decided we should definitely build it.

    Ok. After some quick high level requirements gathering.

    How long would that take?

    10-12 months.


    Oh and that's if we hire a 5 dev team.


    I swear it was like I was talking to 7 lil Jon's.

    Yeah, I'm probably going to get canned for that call. I know I have been passed over for a promotion because of it. Whatever, I would rather be competent and with my integrity intact than be promoted up to their level of ignorance.
  • 12
    Did he also tell how fast his nephew in high school could do it? Because that's would be totally in character for troglodyte boss.
  • 1
    @katbreitin And then complains how salmonella gets them.
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