9
iiii
226d

I just want to do nothing. Be a cat: eat and sleep as much as I physically can. I'm just physically and mentally exhausted and basically have no desire to do anything anymore.

Fuck everything.

The only thing which prevents me from doing that is some leftovers if common sense which tell me that it's unwise to abandon everything when you've left only 3 weeks to do shit and then it's not your problem anymore.

But even this sense cannot disarm an overwhelming procrastination.

And people. Fuck people. Only a very small minority is actually tolerable.

Thanks for listening to my TED talk.

Comments
  • 4
    hmm maybe you're suffering from depression. Depression can do that to you. Eventually reach out to a therapist to discuss your current situation? πŸ™‚
  • 0
    @F1973 true. I've noticed some trend today as well.
  • 0
    @F1973 can I use a trump card and skip 3 weeks in advance?
  • 2
    @heyheni I have some reluctance towards therapy. I don't find it a good idea to trust my head to anyone I don't know.
  • 1
    @F1973 oh, look. Nomad is in the trend as well.
  • 2
    @iiii you don't have to open up actually. You can just go there and fill out some questionaires to determine if you're depressed. And then go to the Doctor and let you prescribe some antidepressants. Depression is like the flu for the mind.
  • 2
    @heyheni except there are very different antidepressants and wrong one could make things worse. Also I'm in a country where there's no firm culture of therapy.
  • 1
    @F1973 as if I have friends close enough so I could talk about such personal things. I don't. I'm a loner and cannot find common language with humans.
  • 2
    @iiii therapy is actually very good if you can afford it. Have not seen anyone who found a good therapist but didn't find therapy useful.
  • 0
    @NoMad -> a good therapist.
    This is the catch.
  • 2
    @iiii that is the biggest catch. But, most of them are generally useless. They don't harm. Very few are actually bad, which would give you enough material to sue them and pay for therapy for few years.
  • 1
    @iiii how often do you leave the house, btw?
  • 1
    @NoMad rarely, because I'm working from home since the lockdown in April. Mostly dwelling in my small room in front of my computer.
  • 4
    @iiii food shopping? Doing the laundry? Idk, going for walks?
    Total isolation depresses just about anyone.
  • 0
    @NoMad sometimes going out for groceries. It's mostly a mechanical task.
  • 1
    @iiii I see. How about video calls with friends and fam?
  • 1
    @NoMad I don't have such friends. And I don't have an emotional connection to my family or to any humans basically.
  • 2
    @iiii ifffffy why did you isolate yourself so bad? Perfect time to bring some of those old toxic people back into your life. Lel.
  • 1
    @NoMad I don't feel connection to humans. I don't feel any desire to make new connections, so it's just natural. I feel alien mostly in any group.
  • 1
    @iiii I really don't know what else I can say. Like, you did put yourself in this situation. Start making friends online maybe?
  • 1
    @NoMad as I've said, I feel alien. I'm trying to communicate with people online but every time it feels like I'm out of place everywhere where I go.
  • 3
    @NoMad

    @iiii and I seem pretty similar in that. And yes, it sucks and it’s mentally harmful. I don’t know what to do either. πŸ™ I suck at making and keeping friends, probably because I work too much. And making connections with people is hard. I’ve had people tell me I’m not human before, and somewhat I think I believe them.
  • 1
    @Root at least you have found family you love. That's great.
  • 1
    @Root and @iiii, you two could make good friends, probably!
  • 0
    @F1973 I find relief in the knowledge that there are others with similarly shitty days.
  • 0
    @F1973 my day was super good. Got my nails done and visited my local IndieHackers meetup, discussed startups stuff and got connections. Also today I finally got my custom made earphone tips. The sound, the noise isolation and the fit are perfect now.
  • 2
    Ahh shitty days...yesterday, today...and most days....feeling alien...yes very much...crying, then forcing to just get out of bed and just live... bath, eat, work, sleep and somehow it gets better... until the rollercoaster starts again...rinse and repeat. Must get out that door and see people, DevRant, scroll endlessly, even went for chat randomly online. Just manage to live because the alternative is well, unspeakable. There will be better days @iiii and hopefully it comes tomorrow. We just keep hanging in there until happiness finally comes. And it will come. It must. 😺
  • 1
    @iamai relatable. There are better days. Just not now.
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