So I have a crush on a co-worker, she is also a dev. She is very cute despite her simplicity. I really wanted to talk to her, but I can't start a normal conversation with her. My mind just goes haywire.

BUT, just in case she is also on devRant:

If you happen to be reading this, I am the guy seated opposite the other table, we are facing each other. I liked you ever since the company outing. You are very cool and I want to spend more time with you.

:)

Message her something like "hi. How is your work today? I do real crap today BTW..."

It's simple, let the crazy out.

I am likewise not someone who makes small talk, I make sick jokes, bad puns and consider that in a multi verse that allows for infinite possibilities, in several Hitler is my sex slave while I'm also involved with Margret Thatcher.

Now see, I CAN talk about the weather or current affairs, but sooner or later I say something outlandish, harsh or just weird and that either means the end of it or it doesn't. So I don't try to hide it. Neither should you, be yourself, if she isn't into you, pretending to be someone you're not lies to both of you and you'll eventually become unhappy with who you pretend to be.

Yes, for sure, text based communication is easier as it allows thinking time, but, it... Isn't how relationships work.

Although having said that, you CAN communicate without speaking, bring in candy and put it in a shared dish between you. It does communicate thoughtfulness, and that's a start...

If you start by saying 'hi...' ++ a sentence or two about work or Mr Robot or Silicon Valley or how Windows sucks... You will be happy you did. Every time after will be easier and easier. Hey, what is the worst that can happen??
You will be proud of yourself. Just do it and confirm my prediction. 😀

Haha. I am more interested in the amount of confusion this will create in devs' offices with similar pair sitting in front of each other all over the world.. #foreveralone #fml

Not sure what the simplicity part means but anyways.
What always worked for me in situations like this: casual conversation.
Just talk to her, ask her something that's not necessarily work related, with a bit of luck the conversation will roll, she'll talk about it, then you can talk about something you are really passionate about.

Do make sure you don't talk too much, that can have very mixed results.

If after these convos you still dig it, the harder part comes: asking her out. Think up something to do or somewhere to go, don't make it too active or time consuming but just something slightly casual to get to know eachother better.

Good luck dude :D
Keep us updated

@akska I work opposite an empty desk XD

You just might have given all those poor souls, opposite quite girls; that didn't have the courage to confess a, fighting chance...

Everybody gets here A++.o0 what an amaizing and considering community and whoota support! Ofcourse Ya young man...go and say ,,hi,, to that lovley devGirl. Sudo bring her a cup of coffee!
@h3ll...ohh well.stuff happens .o0 i dont know about moveing to the personal relationship from saing HI..but You have to know...there are shy and hardworking devGirls who does not take thei eyes off from screen before they hear that sweet HI..Hows Your day today?? And smell that coffee....and they do like samekind of guys .o0 whom they can talk about the code..
What a blessing if that guy happens to sit accross the table...my thougts are..it just could be it!!!!!!

@h3ll how come you don't like being called cute. As a southern guy we have a code with complements. Beautiful means you look good but that's all it is to you. Beauty is only skin deep. Sexy - good looking probably couldn't stand her morr than a couple nights. Cute - good looking, someone you might could spend a long time with.

So generally if i say a woman is cute it means that they are in a better area than the other types of women, after all they can fix looks, any girl can act sexy, but not many can act cute without being anoying

@jckimble not everyone likes random compliments, especially not from people they don't consider personal contacts (or even know for that matter)

There are remedies for the problem with your mind going haywire. Different remedies work for different people, like meditation or physical high focus activities (e.g. mountain climbing). Personally, I've found meditation very helpful. It not only helps you to stop your mind from going haywire; it also improves your attentiveness. This in turn improves your listening skills. In any human interaction, especially with women, listening is so much more important that talking.

As a bonus, if you go somewhere to learn meditation, you will probably be the minority gender. Being outnumbered by women takes away the drama of interacting with them.

If you can find any sharing circles in your area, they are also a great way of becoming a better and more present listener.

Meditation and similar practices helps you to be more of yourself. So, it's not "game" in any way. It's the genuine you, one of several paths to "just be yourself".

Dude... Chill and talk to her!
She is a human being just as you are...

That's an order!

Make her code crash and then propose to help. Do that over and over again

@h3ll yeah i don't know you so i can't argue about that lol

If you have access to what she's coding
Leave a comment where she will see it, something like
//hey this is <insert name here>, would you go out with me one evening?
Maybe she will respond in a comment as well and you'll know :)
If that doesn't work out there is always git rm ;)

Just say hi, doesn't matter what you talk about.
The important thing is to be confident.

Even if she says no, keep asking her and doing small romantic things. Girls LOVE it when you do that much for them.

@nocgod both is sexes generally enjoy good nookie as well as good conversation

@davehuk yeah, that's why he has to chill and talk to her and let nature do its thing ;)

@nocgod don't let her talk about her bf issues or you become shoulder to cry on. If she has bf and you like her keep your distance until she is crying over missing a semi colon or his semi and work your magic

@davehuk dude I'm not the OP...
I'm married + 1

Lol #devRantConfessions

Go talk to her. What's the worse that could happen!

@zeprod She got mad, throws out your devRant stress ball, commits bugs from your computer while you're not watching then spills your coffee on it.
Assuming she's got anger issues.
Worst case scenario.

@zfor I LOL'Ed at commit bugs from your computer while you are away 😂😂😂

I am thankful for all of your feedbacks and advice. This is why I like this community :)

This is it, trying something is the only way I can get a fighting chance.

@nmunro someday...

@akska ?

If we worked in the same company, I would show her this rant, that would help you☺.

Go talk to her what is the worst that can happen.... U might get an email from an HR and become a registered sex offender. But u hv nothing to worry bout.

@A127 I wouldn't. First off, the simplicity thing might offend her. Secondly, some people don't like others talking about them behind their back.

@yarwest hmm.. true that

@akska ha! That's what came to my mind too!

Maybe start talking to her by mentioning devRant and then discussing how you both love this app and then other stuffs.

Just being amazed by so many constructive replies in this thread. This kind of posts are more likely to be trolled in other social media.

It's devRant we all know how it feels to feel like you could not express you feelings or thoughts...

Beside of that... She is a dev you speak the same languages😎

Be yourself and go get her!
(And keep us updated)

@h3ll By any chance, are you muscular?
I don't mean to offend you, but the only girls I think would be offended being called cute are the ones who are actually not... because she thinks it's a sarcasm. 😬

@h3ll If rage were a muscle, you would be jacked!

@h3ll You injected your own opinion about cute into the conversation but this is not about you.
You saying "not all woman like to be called cute" adds nothing to this entire rant or challenge this man faces.
You even said it yourself, "not all woman like .." well you're not one of those woman, why even tell us that?

Second, he didn't call her cute to her face, he used that word to describe her to us, it has NOTHING to do with girls (in this case you) not like being called cute.

The remaining points you made are great and very helpful but there wasn't any need to inject your own experience with the word cute into this.

I think @h3ll was trying to make the guy stronger by making him think of the worst, like preparing him so no surprise come suddenly in his f1ce and he can not handle it. And calling a girl cute has more meaning then just 'just' describing a personal. I think when he called her cute here he use some of his emotional descriptions. It seems people ware pretty supportive, you should go and do a little investigation and see if she is available and then go talk to her... At least you won't feel that constant disturbing feeling in your mind...

@sam0 Dude you seem to not know @h3ll, she is just like that even if no one cares her opinion she will write it and fight for it, well at least she's like that here, and some of us find that cool, that's why she is on the 10k group.

And rant author, do it bro just be yourself and don't hide expecting her to see this rant, just go for it. And dude please do it in person, it's always much better.

UPDATE:
I gathered all of my courage and told her I like her.

Unfortunately, she told me she is already with someone else, although she does appreciate my feelings for her.

Yeah, it hurts but I also felt relieved. I think rejection is better than regret. I'd rather hear a 'no' rather than live with guilt for the rest of my life wondering what could happen if only I'd made that move.

Right now there is some degree of awkwardness between us in the office, I still like her but now I have to accept the fact that me and her will never compile.

Well I'll just code away...and thank you all for the comments :)

@silly-symphony proud of you dude. Good job, you did the right thing and you did it like a man. Shit happens and it is as it is, I understand it can feel shitty and awkward right now but you will both move past that :)

Better luck next time!

@yarwest thanks mate! :)

@silly-symphony its great that you confessed.
You are a real man

Ill make voodoo dolls and curse her relationship for you.

@zombie01 Hahaha! you don't have to mate, she already has enough troubles doing software support. Thanks though :)