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devJs
28d

I got enrolled in 'extracurricular activity' in second grade of my elementary school. We were playing some games at first, but later teacher started to show us programming and explained the matter very well considering we all were 8 y olds. I got interested and while others would play games I was coding and solved assignments teacher gave us.

My family thought that computer will make me stupid, thinking it was made just for playing games. They promised me to get me the computer if I had highest grades in school. I did, not all of them but tried really hard to be the best, despite that I waited for years and still being close to have aced every subject in the meantime.

I got my first computer when I was 16.

Since that day I was constantly reminded that I am wasting my life away sitting at this stupid box.

Later when I got the job that was well payed, they acknowledged that they were wrong to do that for majority of my life.

My parents are unable to explain what I do at the job as they were never interested in what I really do. "Something with computers" is most common answer you can hear from them.

My parents are non-technical people and they still don't understand how that box works and God forbid that they buy something online. My father even rejects to use smartphone.

They also thought that I'm no college material despite always being in top 5 students of the year (not class, but whole year).

They had other plans for me, but I was aware of that and didn't gave a f00ck about what they want with my life. I knew what I want and that was all exactly opposite of what my parents would like.

I was not the child they wanted, but was good son, even helped them and worked student jobs to pay some bills and to help them financially and still they struggled so hard to find some flaw to my character and decisions just to make their point but more than often failed miserably and just proved how wrong they were and how they don't think anything trough.

Only one who really supported me was my elder sister as she knew I was doing the right thing! She also did it her way and I am proud of her as both of us were dealing with 2 tough customers.

long rant, but wanted to add one more thing, I was never into sport, but was training tae kwon do and was really into it and was decent at it among my peers. When I was going to national competition, on my way out of the house all I got from my parents was: "why are you even going there when you will immediately loose, is it just to travel a bit?"

TL;DR: my family supported me less in my life than worst phone call you had with IT support at your worse ISP!

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  • 1
    Can relate.
  • 1
    Doesn't TLDR usually go to the top?🤔
    Anyhow, just wanted to say people in general have a tendency to not give praise when something is done well because it's expected that things are done properly, but will of course complain/state it when something is done below average or think you can do better. Mostly not out of malice, but to point out where you can improve.

    I see this with myself, so I try to remember that people need validation & I try to give it when I can & remember...and if not, I try to suggest how to improve. I know it's annoying af for most people to be on the receiving end of the 'this could've been done better', but I expect the same from others, to flat out tell me when I screw up & how to improve.
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    @sladuled yeah sorry about TLDR being in the end.

    I get that and I also tend to do things the right way and expect from others to do so.

    One thing is to question some decision and the other thing is to nitpick at almost literally anything someone does and pointing it out because of not understanding or having different preferences.

    let's take some unrelated example like this:

    I get that listening the music loud is bad for your hearing and I acknowledge that and I will tone it down (i never really listened my music loud, 3/10 was "loud" for me) but telling me what music I should listen and that my choice of music is garbage and 'we don't listen that in our house' is just direct attack on my character. Nobody should command you what you have to do, that's breach of human rights!
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